A/N: Just some quick thoughts that I HAD to write in protest to the death of Ianto Jones. I am outraged as a fangirl and will not forgive Ruffle for this. ¬¬ But I thought this was sweet so I'm uploading it. VERY SHORT. Not my fault? I couldnt go on because it would have lost its... emotion I think. I cried TWICE in that episode. Anyone else sad enough to cry? (:
After all these years Jack thought that maybe he would get used to losing people. For being the reason that people he cared about died.
That was just things he had to cope with because of his immortality.
People die all the time.
It shouldn't be any different.
Ianto Jones was just another man in Jack's life he didn't quite manage to save.
And yet… he was so much more.
Jack held Ianto's corpse in his arms, refusing to let go even for a second. Because as soon as he let go it would be like giving up. Giving up on Ianto Jones felt like giving up on life itself. Jack wished that was possible.
When he thought about Ianto's final moments fresh tears fell onto Ianto's pale cheek. Cheeks tinged with the colourlessness of death. It was final. There was no coming back for him.
Jack wished it was him instead of Ianto. He would give his life his everything to see Ianto smiling, laughing, and living.
Every memory, every word, every touch was now tainted with the despair of loss. It made heartache into reality for Jack.
Those final moments were replayed in Jack's head over and over and over again. Regret washed over him. How many things he should have said and should have done. He had ruined his last chance to ever tell Ianto Jones that he loved him.
Because he did. Ianto Jones was a man that Jack would have given everything for. There would never be another man like him. Not one would be as sincere, handsome, well-dressed and loyal as him. Or make as good a cup of coffee.
Tears were replaced every time Jack remembered Ianto's words to him. "Don't forget me… in a thousand years you won't remember me." He doubted him to the very end and that hurt Jack more than any other words could have done. Ianto didn't believe him when he said he wouldn't forget him.
How could he forget that man? Even a thousand years won't make him forget those short few years he had with the most perfect man on Earth.
It wasn't enough. It wasn't fair. But it was more than he deserved. He knew this but he couldn't help wishing for hope. Still holding onto the small part of him that is screaming at the rest of him to keep on hoping. And yet… he knew it wasn't enough.