Let Go

by mjwho

Sequel to "Letting Go," continuing the theme of loss in Doctor Who, this time leading up to River's death in "Forest of the Dead." "She would rather die there in that library saving him than to never have met him. It's what she wanted. She had made her choice already, and she would make the choice again." T for sug. themes. Written before "The Husbands of River Song." R&R!

1. Only one way

"There's only one way you could know that name, only one way I could…" ~Doctor Who, "Forest of the Dead"

Chapter 1

"Yes!" River hopped down from the console as The Doctor walked into the control room. "Yes, I will marry you, Doctor!"

The Doctor stopped in his tracks, dumbstruck. "Umm… River?" He had only just followed her out of his bedroom on the TARDIS, where he had already felt very, very… married.

"You never really asked me. You just took me to that rooftop and wrapped a scarf around my hand and said we were married, so I just wanted to know what it was like to say 'yes.'"

He sauntered up to her now, smiling crookedly, a look of understanding crossing his face. When he reached her, he spoke quietly into her ear, "I should think you would remember the word you were screaming several times over the last hour." The Doctor leaned against her until her body was pressed up against the console. "And I believe you're the one who led me to that rooftop…

"Would you do it again? Would you still marry me, River?"

"Yes," she repeated, softly. With his hands in her hair, he kissed her on the lips. It was a kiss that said he knew how she liked to be kissed, a kiss full of long nights and long days spent together, of shared memories and shared loss, and of love. As The Doctor pulled away from the kiss, he wrapped his arms tight around her and held her longer than he normally would have.

"Doctor, you are acting strangely. You just showed up on my doorstep and whisked me away. I know you. Please talk to me."

"Where are you going this time?" he asked jovially, ignoring her question and still holding her. "What GRAND archaeological scheme are you planning, River Song?"

"Who said I was going anywhere, sweetie?" She pulled back to look at him.

"You always get a bit… well, you know… excitable before an expedition." He said irritably. "And I'm definitely not complaining about some of the perks that I enjoy with your state of mind, but it's like you can't wait to be off."

"Are you offended?"

"No." he said a little too emphatically. He was almost petulant.

"You are! Why, because I won't travel with you all the time? Or because you really want to go to some stuffy library and look for signs of life… information that is highly confidential, by the way… I don't know why yet, but I intend to find out." He didn't respond.

"If you are worried about me, that's part of it, my love, you know that. Why start worrying about me now?" She winked at him, but The Doctor was silent. He pulled away from her completely and walked to the controls, brooding. River was puzzled, but she knew to wait out whatever mood had entranced him. She soon tired of waiting, however, and opened her mouth to question him.

He must have heard her intake of breath, because he preempted her query by turning toward her, saying brightly, "I know where we should go next."

His eyes betrayed his smile, but before she could pinpoint his thoughts, he was running around the console, punching in coordinates and spinning dials and pulling levers like a madman. A madman in his blue box.