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The Adventures of Little Bitty Rotter
Just a bunch of silliness really
Written by one, Severus Shaun Snape on the day of Potter's death
One day a young teenage named Po—Rotter, was wandering about in the dungeons of his local school when out of the blue, he was shrunken to the size of apple core, only much skinnier, because the boy thought he was a girl and had decided long ago he should do as all moronic teenage girls do and eat absolutely nothing 'til after his pathetic little death.
The resident feline (for those of you that have brains the size of the now shrunken Potter – I mean Rotter, the word "feline" mean CAT) Mrs. Morris came down the hall just in time to see 'food' waiting for her in the form of a small boy.
'Mmm food'
Mrs. Morris was quite hungry, so she swallowed Rotter whole. Unfortunately, as she neared the Entrance doors of the school her meal decided it wasn't going down without a fight, and the annoying little boy upchucked himself from the undoubtedly now-sore throat of the cat.
But Rotter's luck never lasted. As he began to brush the slime and mucus from his hair, a dashing, radiant, and slightly sinister looking teacher swept out of the building, the air rushing in behind him as his cloak billowing in wake. The force of his magnificent entrance into the awaiting world caused the air behind him to sweep up the small Rotter and throw him face first into the snow of the outside world. But it wasn't really snow, as he soon found out, it was slightly frozen dog doo, from Rotter's slightly canine dogfather. How delightfully ironic of fate to do such a thing.
Rotter was just barely bright enough to hitch a ride on the show of some poor soul leaving the school, but he wasn't quite bright enough to not get himself stuck in that person's shoelaces. And he wasn't bright enough or lucky enough to prevent his last act of stupidity. That when he unstuck himself for the shoelaces, his feel off in mid-step, right as the person had been jaywalking through the street and not seeing such a small creature, he was run over by a bus, repeatedly. Damn those three-point turns that end up needing eight points.