Pokémon Blue: Disable

By:

Saslyax

Summary: [OC, Nuzlocke, anime compliant] Somehow, I am not from this world. I don't remember who I am in my home world. I don't know why I'm here. Perhaps everything and nothing will change on my Pokémon journey.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon. If I did, there wouldn't be so many inconsistencies with the anime. Ash would also age with the rest of us, that immortal bitch.

Warnings: My first attempt at making an OC a main character. It is also a Nuzlocke run of Pokémon Blue, but has elements of the anime, main games, and Mystery Dungeon series.

Chapter I

"Bulbasaur, I Choose You!"

Perhaps everything and nothing will change, but my world needs an outsider's soul. Can you help me?

Will you help me?

I will.

My older brother once showed me the wonders of the Pokémon games. I would always look over his shoulder and watch him play Pokémon Yellow. He opened the door for me, and ever since then, I adored everything Pokémon. Even as I left childhood behind, it's still a wet fantasy for the magic of Pokémon to become real. I always daydreamed about what adventures I'd find in the Pokémon world. Who would my partners be?

You're time is nearly up.

I guess it's correct to say, "Be careful what you wish for."

For the past few weeks, I've been slowly detaching from my life. Something's tugging me away and is willing to pull apart my pieces. I no longer belong here; I'm more like a confused ghost than an average student. My memories float away like specs of dust. I try to catch them, but it's impossible. I have a hard time remembering dear names of family and friends. Mom looks like a blank face of flesh. The same is happening to Dad. I don't even recognize myself when I look into a mirror.

Just who am I?

I try not to panic as my world dims more and more.

I lay in my bed. The spinning ceiling fan morphs the shadows in my room. I can't move, and it hurts to breathe. I haven't eaten or slept in days. I can barely form sentences in my mind. Is this what dying feels like?

It's time to say goodbye.

I manage a slight nod of my head. Who am I saying bye to? It feels like an important moment.

My throat's dry and cracks as I try to speak. I manage to mutter, "Goodbye, everyone."

A burning light engulfs me. The heat is intense as I feel it tearing me away from my homeland. I no longer exist hear. My body crumbles into dust, but my soul awaits a new world and a new body.

The world's more vibrant and cheerful than I remember. I stand in the shadows of a prominent building. This is Professor Oak's lab. I recognize the arched, second-floor landing and the back windmill that powers the main building.

Right, I turned ten a few months ago, and today, novice trainers are able to register for their Pokémon license. I will receive my very own Pokémon. I've lived in Pallet Town my whole life. I prefer the roomy hillsides, filled with more Pokémon than people. My parents aren't here to see me off, and I don't really have any friends here, more like rivals, if anything. I should feel something for the absence of my parents. I should hate them for their abandonment, but then again, I can't care too deeply about something I barely knew. I was mostly brought up by some of their weaker Pokémon, and when I was old enough to take care of myself, they completely cut ties with Pallet Town. There are only a few, faint trails of their existence.

My name is… Err, I can't recall. Everything else is clear to me: my past, my dream to become a Pokémon master, and what I even ate for breakfast this morning! What is wrong with me? I guess I've been off, for about a week now. The nerves must be getting to me again. I hope I don't throw up in front of Professor Oak.

"Ah, good morning, Miss Kaman."

The professor's sudden appearance, especially coinciding with my inner thoughts, startles me. I almost lose my footing and stumble down the long, winding stairs. I glance backwards; that would have hurt like a bitch. There are about a hundred steps. I hold in a yelp and try to hide my misbalance and overall discombobulating state of being.

It's just Professor Oak. He gives me a sheepish look. "Sorry to startle you." He grabs my shaking hand, to help me regain my balance. The professor gives me a thoughtful look, which is followed by a small frown. "You're a little late to the party; it's quite unlike you. My grandson has already taken Squirtle. I knew you had an eye on it. Charmander has also been taken, as well."

My cheeks redden, due to my tardiness. How could I make a fool of myself in front of the esteemed professor, of all people? I lower my head, finding my worn sneakers to be quite the trendsetter. I let the professor down, and he once said I had great potential. I even promised myself that I would be the first to arrive! My nails dig into the palms of my hands. I've already messed up. How did I think I could ever do this? I can barely take care of myself, never mind a team of Pokémon! I hold back tears and allow them to burn just beyond the point of visibility.

My face is neutral, so the professor leads me inside his lab. We're already in his main lab room. I can't remember the steps I took to get here. I hope I won't get lost on the way out. A raging Spearow Pecks at my insides. I snap out of my funk when I eye the last remaining Poké Ball. Will my partner even like me?

"Don't look so glum." I receive an uncomfortable pat on my back. "You'll get your Pokémon soon enough." Oak waves his hand towards the pedestal holding the rejected Poké Ball. "Ah, to be young again!"

I grab the lone Poké Ball. I guess it weighs right in my hands. I don't know how Bulbasaur will react to me, but I won't treat it as the reject of the starters. Hopefully Bulbasaur will become my dearest friend. I don't know what I'd do if it viewed me in disdain.

"Bulbasaur, is always an excellent choice for beginners!" The professor applauds and smiles towards me as more fresh blood decides to travel the path of a trainer. He's just trying to make me feel better or special when the choice of my starter was taken away from me. He rummages through the storage space underneath the Poké Ball pedestal. He removes a small rucksack. He hands it to me and explains, "Inside is your Pokédex and a beginner's kit to help you out."

I nod. "Thanks."

I don't want to release my Pokémon in front of Professor Oak like the conventional person does. What if something goes wrong and Bulbasaur hates me? The professor will decide I'm unworthy of a Pokémon. My sweaty hands nearly drop the Poké Ball. The slick metal no longer feels cool to the touch. I leave the room without saying a thing. I just need to get back home.

It takes me a little longer than average to find the exit without the professor guiding me around. I don't want to go back and ask him for help. How hard is it to leave a building? I hope there's a map of Kanto in the kit. I'm going to need. I hope no one spots me and thinks I'm snooping around, or worse, that I'm just plain stupid for getting lost.

The professor called me 'Miss Kaman'. I guess that's my last name. A first name would be nice to know too, but Kaman is all I got right now. Man, I'm so off today… Must be the nerves. Maybe I should have said goodbye, at least? It's too late to go back into the lab and redo my exit with proper etiquette. I must seem like an ungrateful punk.

Loud cheers catch my attention. I peek out the front window; there's a huge crowd outside! When did this many people get here? Maybe I can sneak around, and nobody will notice me. People don't need to know I'm representing Pallet Town!

Shrilly screams chant, "Gary, Gary, he's our man! If he can't do it, no one can!" I sigh. Fan girls. Really though? How can this guy soak up all that attention? I'd pass out if that many people expected me to bring fame to their town. Well, I guess people expect more from the professor's grandson than a no-name orphan. Deep down, I wish I were in his place. He must have it so easy.

I squeeze through the nooks between the bodies of people. I try not to touch or bump into anyone. I just want to make it out of the crowd without some random, social encounter. I almost see the back row of groupies. Then, I hear, "Hey, Loser!"

People stop cheering for Saint Gary. They're all looking at me, and it isn't an exaggeration. He's talking to me! I bristle at the insult, but I bite my tongue. I am better than childish name-calling. The crowd's silent and awaits my move. Their beady eyes Glare at my forgetful air. Why am I so special to get called out, even if it's an insult? Will Prince Gary smite me? I bet that's what they're all thinking. I stumble in my tracks. Why couldn't I be a good wallflower and slip through the cracks of these assholes?

Gary demands, "What Pokémon did you get?" He studies the Poké Ball trembling in my hands and flips his hair. "It doesn't matter because I chose the best of the bunch! It pays to be the grandson of an admired Pokémon professor." He flashes his own Poké Ball that contains Squirtle.

"Bulbasaur," I mutter back.

He gives me a look and puts his hand to his ear. Gary laughs, "Huh? What's that? I barely heard ya! To all my fans out here today," he gestures to the entire crowd, "this loser chose Bulbasaur. Hah, what a lame Pokémon! Even with the type advantage, I'd kick your ass any day. Let's show them how lame you truly are."

I gulp. Too many people are watching. For all his high talk, Gary really would win in a battle. I stand frozen in front of all these strangers. They'll know about my weakness! I can't let that happen.

"Scared?" He smiles so smugly.

"I-I'd just like to meet my Pokémon first, before I battle anyone." His brown eyes narrow at my excuse.

Moments later, Mew answers my prayers. A kid with raven hair and green pajamas Tackles Gary to the ground. I think his name is Ash Ketchum. We went to primary school together. He isn't the smartest, and he sometimes doesn't know when to shut up, but he's nice at heart.

Steam rises from Gary's short fuse. Gary brushes the dirt from his clothes and fixes his styled, brown hair. Luckily, he forgets all about me. "Hey! Watch where you're going, Loser! Oh look it's Ashy-boy!"

I don't hear the rest of their oncoming fight. I make haste and flee the claustrophobic crowd. I make my way towards the edge of Pallet Town. I guess it's good my two-room hut is right near Route One. Most of the time, it's a hassle to walk all the way to the shopping centers in the heart of town. All I really need is a few extra clothes for warmer and colder temperatures. Fortunately, Professor Oak provided most of the supplies I need.

I open the starter kit and groan at the meager 100 Poké Dollars. It won't get me much, maybe a few good meals at best. I guess I'll be using the rest stops a lot. I can't afford luxuries like shampoos, soaps, and hotel rooms. Oh, and a shiny, red car like the one Gary-Motherfucking-Oak has. I need to save up my money for more important things like Pokémon supplies and food. I shove the bills into my wallet.

My house isn't in the best condition. Mold creeps over the fading wallpaper, cobwebs cover my kitchen cabinets, and my second-hand furniture has seen better days. This is all I can afford with my parents monthly check.

I grab the clothes from my wardrobe. I eye my older clothes that no longer fit. Maybe I can sell them at a pawnshop in Viridian City? I grab Oak's starter kit and browse through the rest of it. It contains a Pokédex, a map of Kanto, five Poké Balls, a few travel rations, a small cooking pot, a lighter, a canteen, and a compact sleeping bag. I barely manage to fit everything in my purple messenger bag. It's not as high-end as a typical travel bag. I really could use a Mary Poppins' bag, right now.

What a strange thought. I don't really understand my own reference.

I lock the door to my house; it feels futile. By the time I return, nature will probably reclaim my cottage. I might as well get used to sleeping underneath the stars anyways. I'll be doing a lot of that.

I unlatch the Poké Ball from my belt. "It's time to meet my Pokémon."

Don't show weakness. Don't screw things up. Please, Mew, just let my Pokémon like me! I really need a friend about now. I wince as I press the white button. Bulbasaur appears in a flash of silver light.

I squat down on the verdant grass. I smile and say, "Hello, Bulbasaur. My name is… Kaman." Man I really need to find out my first name.

Bulbasaur looks a little disgruntled after emerging from the Poké Ball. It gives its entire body a shake. I study the dark markings on its skin that differs between each Bulbasaur. I need to be able to recognize my Bulbasaur from the rest. Do I need to find out if it's a male or female? Does it want a nickname? Bulbasaur's red eyes meet my dark brown.

"I suppose you are my new trainer."

Holy shit! Bulbasaur talks!

Pallet Town: Bulbasaur, met at level 5

First of all, this is based on a Nuzlocke run of Pokémon Blue. I'm trying to fit themes of the main games with the anime and the Mystery Dungeon series. It's kind of a self-insert and kind of not. I always think that I'm not protagonist worthy, and in a sense that's true. I don't hold many of the attributes shown in typical protagonists. I'm shy and suffer from sever anxiety, though I've been only diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder and depression. Then one day I thought, "Why can't someone like me be a protagonist?" Boom. Here's the story.

There's nothing special with Kaman understanding Pokémon; I simply like it when protagonists have that ability. Yay for special Protagonist privileges! Her Pokémon will be chosen by the basic Nuzlocke rules, so no rare Pokémon, unless I get lucky. Only gen 1 moves will be used in honor of Pokémon Blue! Red was the first game I ever owned! Plus the original anime only had these set moves, at the time, and I don't want to alter the anime timeline too greatly. Ash will do his own thing and Kaman will focus more on the game side of things, but they will cross paths. She will have many of my anxieties. Write what you know, I guess?

Kaman will not win every battle. Too OP. But this does not reflect my wins and losses during my gameplay. I totally kicked Gary (or Blue's) ass with my first rival battle.

Oh. I'm totally using the amnesia (sort of) card too, but it's okay and totally not cliché. It's quite normal according to the Mystery Dungeon series.

Do you think you have what it takes to be a protagonist?