Title: Time in Between
Author: rooster dawn
Classification: Harm/Mac
Spoiler: none
Disclaimers: The characters of JAG are the property of Donald Bellisario and Bellisarius Production, Inc. Used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. May be reproduce if unchanged, author given full credit, and no financial transaction is involved.
Summary: This story takes place after Harm joins the CIA.
Feedback is greatly appreciated and welcomed.
Part one Time of Reflection
1400 hours
27 Nov 2003
Thanksgiving
Admiral's house
Everyone was excited to be getting together for Thanksgiving at the Admiral's house. It wasn't very often that the Admiral opened up his home to the Jag staff and family. They all were quite pleased to be gathering there.
Jason and Jen had arrived early at the Admiral's request to assure that everything would be ready when everybody arrived. Jen, who was taking over for Jason, had arranged with a caterer to provide dinner for thirty guests.
The dinner consisted of a main course of turkey, mash potatoes, with a choice of Hubbard squash, turnip, pearl onions, peas, and corn for vegetables. There was a bread stuffing containing cranberries, apple, celery, and onion.
There were several different varieties of cranberry sauce for those looking for something tangy to eat to spice up the dinner.
The Admiral had an assortment of wines, beer, and soft drinks to quench the thirst of those attending. No one would go wanting.
As Jason and Jen were putting the final touches around the Admiral's home there was a knock on the door. It was Bud and Harriet. As usual they were the first to arrive. No one had figured out why they always did.
Considering Bud would usually do something to embarrass himself, usually he or someone would spill something on him. It wasn't long before the others began showing up to join them.
One in particular was Carolyn Imes. She had returned to headquarters shortly after it was determined that Harm would not be returning to Jag after his little exclusion to Paraguay to rescued Mac.
The Admiral wasn't happy that Harm had resigned his commission and gone after Mac. In his mind Harm had once again disobeyed him and put his needs and wants ahead of Jag and the Navy. Harm wasn't a team player.
Once again he had gone off half cocked without a plan, without any backup, or assistance. Harm didn't care that the CIA and the Navy might have devised a plan of their own to rescue Webb and Mac.
He just wanted to do something now without thinking about the possible international ramifications he would be causing. Harmon Rabb Jr. was an instant gratification junkie.
The Admiral had had enough of Harm's attitude especially since Harm had just spent six weeks in the brig for being less than honest with the NCIS investigators. He had asked Harm what Harm would do to keep Mac after he found her.
When it turned out he hadn't done anything, the Admiral decided it was time to let Harm go. He didn't deserve to be in the Navy anymore. After the fiasco with Brumby, the Admiral had decided he didn't want to go through that again.
Harm had become a liability, someone he couldn't trust to use good judgment anymore. If Harm couldn't tell the woman he love that he love her and let her go to another man, maybe he wasn't worthy of wearing the uniform anymore.
Also arriving at the party was Sturgis with his new lady friend Varise and his father. He seemed to be happy again now that he had someone to love and love him back. She wasn't the headache that Bobbie had been.
1700 hours
Later that afternoon Mac, Carolyn, Jen, and Harriet were sitting by the fireplace. They were talking about what had been happening at Jag over the last six months since Mac had returned from Paraguay.
Carolyn, for one, wasn't sure what had happened. She couldn't believe that Harm was no longer in the Navy, never mind not being at Jag. She had always believed like everyone else that Harm was a lifer.
He would be in the Navy long past his twenty, at least thirty. They all knew he was being groomed to some day take over as the JAG of the Navy. What had gone wrong? Why wasn't he here anymore?
"Do you miss him Ma'am?" asked Harriet. It hadn't been the same around Jag since the Commander had resigned. Things were too quiet.
"Miss who Harriet?" asked Mac, not sure who Harriet was talking about.
"You know, the Commander, Ma'am. You two were so close Ma'am." sighed Harriet.
"Maybe at one time Harriet, maybe before Bud stepped on a landmine. I honestly thought that something might have been possible last Christmas, but everything slowly changed until we grew apart last spring.
Harm had been distant for several months. He was quiet and didn't talk much. I didn't understand why until the NCIS investigation. Even then he wouldn't talk to me." replied Mac.
"I don't understand Sarah, why isn't Harm here with us? He was the heart and soul of Jag. He was the Navy poster boy who could walk on water. He could do no wrong." asked Carolyn.
"Apparently he screwed up one time too many Carolyn. Harm likes to push the envelope whether it's flying jets or pursuing a case in the courtroom. It even began to affect his actions in the office. The Admiral had enough.
This past year was his undoing. His actions drew too much negative attention to himself. He allowed the dirty nuke to lock on him to save the fleet. It caused great embarrassment for the CIA. They had no clue to what was going on.
Then he disobeyed orders last year to return to headquarters after Bud's mishap. He decided to stay on board ship while Bud was in surgery even though he knew only one of us could stay.
He interfered with my investigation of Lieutenant Singer's pregnancy, which led him to being less than cooperative when her murder was being investigated by NCIS. He was almost convicted of her murder.
The Admiral began seeing him as someone he couldn't trust anymore to do his job, that he was too much a loose cannon. He was ordered not to get involved in a CIA mission. He disregarded everyone's wishes and got involved anyway." answered Mac.
"The Commander resigned his commission to save your life Ma'am. He loves you." argued Harriet.
At the sound of 'he loves you' Sturgis walked over to joined them. He was interested in hearing the whole story. He had his own viewpoint based on conversations he had with Harm before he left to be with the CIA.
"He told you that Harriet? Did he tell you Carolyn, Jen? What about you Sturgis? Did he tell you that he loved me?" asked Mac.
She was tired of people telling her that Harm loved her when he didn't. Not once in seven years that they had been partners together had he ever told her that. She had been hoping that maybe he would tell her when they were together in Paraguay.
They were in bed together. She thought they were ready to make love before they were interrupted by Gunny and Webb, but they didn't. Once again Harm became distant and surly. He lost focus and turned it elsewhere.
She wouldn't have known Harm resigned his commission if Webb hadn't told her. She wondered why he couldn't tell her. She wondered why he allowed Webb to interfere with their relationship.
They all shook their head no. They couldn't say that Harm had ever told them. All they knew was the way the Commander was whenever he was around her. He always had the look of someone in love.
"Mac, he went to Paraguay to rescue you because he loved you. He told the Admiral that. It's why he had to resign his commission." argued Sturgis.
"Then why didn't he tell me Sturgis? He told me he got married. He said nothing about resigning his commission. I had to find that out from Webb. He definitely didn't tell me he love me. I would have remembered that." she replied. "If anything he pushed me away."
"He told me it was you who pushed him away. He said you told him that there could never would be an us." argued Sturgis.
"I see he only told you one side of the story, a story where he forgot about his ill manners and his vile tongue. He wasn't the innocent victim that he pretends to be Sturgis. He was a major player." corrected Mac.
"Do you remember what he said to you when you first stuck your nose into our relation? You know, when I came out of the elevator in the middle of your conversation?" asked Mac waiting for an answer.
Sturgis nodded his head. There was no reason to say the words. They had been very hurtful. He had been quite surprised to hear them then. That he would actually say them again was mind boggling.
"Well he repeated them to me again that night, a night I thought was going to be quite wonderful before we were interrupted. He also said I should go be with Webb.
As for saying Never, it was in reference to there Never has been an Us. That there would Never be an Us, if he couldn't come to grips with his insipid jealousy." answered Mac.
"Anytime a man shows interest in me his behavior becomes very childish. Instead of telling me his feelings, he becomes spiteful and he sulks. If he loved me he would fight for me." whined Mac.
"That's why we parted on such bad terms. He pushed me away. He doesn't love me. And to answer your original question, Do I miss him? No Harriet I don't. You can't miss something you never had. He's been gone almost a year for me Harriet.
I've stopped trying to figure out what he wants. I've stopped wondering if he will ever love me. He's gone Harriet. He's not coming back. Harm has moved on with his life. I have done the same."