Authors note: Mai first fan fiction! Its with night crawler and Ice man… I'm picturing iceman as he is in X-2 and night crawler as… a real life version of him from x-men evolution. God he's hot in X-men evolution. I had a drawing I did to go along with this fanfic, but I think someone stole it from me… and it was goooooood ;_; oh well… by the way this is a song fic. I used all the things she said by t.a.T.u because at the moment it just spoke to me… quite loudly lol. It will be the only songfic for this lil' series type thing. And this is chapter one. Chapter 2 should be up soon. I had broken up with her. We had been broken up for a week now. I wasn't sad about it. She doesn't matter to me anymore. But I feel bad for her. She hurt me… Even though I didn't love her. She could hurt me. But maybe I hurt her worse. All the things she said

All the things she said

Running through my head

All the things she said

All the things she said

Running through my head

This is not enough

She called me stupid fag…But isn't that the truth? That's why I broke it off. I couldn't keep lying to her. But most of all I couldn't lie to myself any longer. I was In Love with someone else. His name is Bobby. Iceman. I have sinned. Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost

If I'm asking for help it's only because

Being with you has opened my eyes

Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?

            It is a sin... Isn't it? To love a man, as I should love a woman? I hate myself.

"Kurt!" My thoughts were interrupted. Speak of the devil. It was Bobby. "What are you doing here, you missed Bio." He said with a concerned look in his eyes. But what was he doing here? Looking just for me? I doubt that. "Just getting away from everything." I replied in my German accent. "You wanna talk about it?" He asked sitting down next to me, under the tree. I shifted my position, to hugging my legs to my body, and resting my chin on my knees. "Not really." I answered. "Is it…Are you sad, because you broke up with Sarah?" He asked cautiously.

I keep asking myself, wondering how

I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out

Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me

Nobody else so we can be free

"No. You wouldn't understand." I closed my eyes, avoiding the feeling of him looking at me, but it only intensified. The butterflies in my stomach wouldn't stop and I wanted to hit myself for it. "How do you know?" he said sounding a little hurt and offended. I didn't answer. "What is it Kurt, tell me… please." His voice was soothing and it calmed me. If only I could fly instead of  vanish. I'd take you with me.

All the things she said

All the things she said

Running through my head

All the things she said

All the things she said

Running through my head

This is not enough

This is not enough

And She's right. I am a stupid fag right? Why do I sin?

Why do I sin?

Why do I sin?

All the things she said

All the things she said

Why do I sin?

Why do I sin?

And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed

They say it's my fault but I want her so much

Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain

Come in over my face, wash away all the shame

When they stop and stare - don't worry me

'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me

I can try to pretend, I can try to forget

But it's driving me mad, going out of my head

"I just feel off…" I half lied. I did feel off due to my latest discovery, but it's not just that. "That's all it is..?" He questioned me with an "I'm not so sure about that… " look on his face. "Yeah." I lied, straight faced. Maybe if I try and forget, maybe if I pretend… I wont be gay anymore… I wont like boys. God help me, I love him so much.

"Lets get to class…"

…

………….

"Right."

Mother looking at me

Tell me what do you see?

Yes, I've lost my mind

"You are both late." Storm greeted us. She taught us for most of our classes. "—And where were you for last period, Mr. Wagner? " She questioned me with her penetrating presence. "I—""—He was in the nurse. He's feeling a little under the weather and I went to go check up on him." He said, saving me from admitting to skipping class. She definitely would have asked me why after class, and I could never lie to storm about anything. And Bobby knew it was something I was afraid to tell the world. She accepted this. "Then sit down. " and we did. Next to each other, giving one another sideways glances all period long.

I can try to pretend, I can try to forget

But it's driving me mad, going out of my head …..

..

………

I can try to pretend, I can try to forget

But it's driving me mad, going out of my head

The rest of that day was weird. I spent the rest of it, scolding myself for looking at other boys. I couldn't pretend to be straight, as much as I wanted to, I couldn't…