this is just a oneshot for all those Vaan/Penelo lovers out there.
All Apologies
As Penelo descended the ramp of the Strahl, she suddenly grew very nervous, more nervous, in fact, than she ever had been in her entire life. It had been five long years since she had seen Vaan, an amazingly long time not to see your best friend who also happened to be your single driving influence for so much of your life.
All of the memories came rushing back; the journey to restore Dalmasca to the country it once had been, the defeat of Vayne Solidor, the argument...
Penelo will be the first one to tell you that she's made mistakes. She knows that it was all her fault, the falling out.
She just hoped that, after all these years, it wasn't too late.
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She can vividly remember the first time she saw him, that dashing sky pirate. It was like being punched in the stomach, the air to her brain was so limited and cut off. She was winded. She felt dizzy and light headed as if she'd just scaled the highest mountain in Ivalice has to offer. On top of the breathing problems (or lack of breathing), her heart rate sped up, thundering against her chest like a battering ram. Cotton mouth and red face were also symptoms, though no one paid any notice. They were all busy being arrested at the time.
He promised to bring Vaan back safe and sound. In one piece at any rate. But, as awful as it is to admit, even now, it wasn't Vaan she was thinking of.
In fact, her mind was clouded with multiple less-than-holy thoughts of ripping the man's leathers off his body with her teeth and kissing him everywhere. Very appealing imagery...
She simply nodded, trusting the pirate to bring her friend back for inexplicable reasons that, to this very day she still didn't understand. It was probably that dimpled grin. She never could deny that dimpled grin.
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Penelo cried for days when she thought he and Fran hadn't made it off the Bahamut alive. She felt as if her heart had been ripped from her chest and severely beaten with a mallet.
Vaan had tried his best to make her smile, making a bigger fool of himself than he usually did. Nothing worked, however. She just continued to stare listlessly off in space, clutching the jacket he'd once given her when she proclaimed she was cold.
One the forth night after it happened, she heard footsteps from behind. Figuring it was just Vaan coming back to do something else idiotic, she clutched the jacket to her chest and squeezed her eyes tightly shut.
"Not exactly the greeting I expected," a very familiar voice said, now in front of her. Her eyes flew open, her gaze traveling up the still leather-clad body of Balthier.
"You're alive," she said in a whisper.
"It does appear that way," he said with a grin, his dimple very evident.
Penelo sprang from the bed she'd been lying in and, in her haste, tripped over the fallen jacket. Balthier caught her in his strong arms and said, "You didn't have to go and fall for me, you know."
"I know," she said softly. "I just couldn't help it."
The next thing she knew, he was kissing her like a man would kiss his lover after a long separation. Her fingers entertained with his short hair as his hands rested on her hips, pulling her, if possible, closer to him.
He broke away and cupped her face in his hands. Staring her directly in the eyes, he saw she looked a little dazed. "I love you, Penelo," he said.
Her face softened. "I love you, too, Balthier."
Penelo's hands went to his waist, grabbing his vest and pulling it up over his head. Next went the sweater and the holsters. Her hands roamed the toned planes of his chest, creeping their way down his stomach to his fly.
"Nope," he said, grabbing her hands. "Your turn." She grinned, knowing he'd have fun trying to figure you how her outfit came off. His hands searched her body with no avail.
He groaned loudly. "How does this blasted thing come off?"
"Like this," she said, taking a step backward. Her hand flew up to her breasts and fished out a zipper. Slowly, she pulled the zipper down to where it ended, just above her crotch. She shrugged out of the sleeves and pealed the rest off her legs, revealing herself now to be dressed in only matching black bra and panties.
Balthier groaned again and stepped to her, bringing her mouth to his again. Her fingers wormed their way to the space between them, again going to his fly. She undid his pants and pulled them off. He stepped out of them, leaving his boots behind.
She looked his body over and burst out laughing. "You don't wear underwear?" she asked between giggles.
"I don't want lines," he said simply. She laughed harder. "What? In case you haven't noticed, I wear very tight pants."
"Oh I noticed, that's for sure."
Her hands went to her breasts again to undo her bra, but he stopped her. "Allow me." His hands lightly trailed up her arms, winding their way behind her and unclasping her bra, which he tossed away. Next his hands slid down her curves to her hips, where he grabbed the flimsy garment and slid it down her legs. His hands brushed her inner thigh. Yet again, Penelo lost her balance, falling into him as he stood.
"There I go, falling for you again," she said breathlessly. He simply grinned at her, directing her to the edge of the bed. Balthier stared down at her a moment, drinking her in. She reached for him and he joined her, pulling her close to him. He pulled the ponytail holder from her left braid and ran his hand through her hair, repeating on the other side.
Balthier then slipped himself between her soft thighs and kisser her lightly on the cheek. "Do it now," she whispered, and he was inside her.
There was only a brief moment of pain before it was quickly replaced by indescribable pleasure. She urged him onward, running her hands down the length of his back.
"Balthier!" she said as large spasms of pleasure shook her body.
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Vaan was surprised, but pleased when Penelo walked into the Strahl's kitchen the next morning, looking as if she'd had a decent nights sleep. It killed him to see her so distraught and he smiled to see that her eyes were no longer red or swollen. Her hair was different also, down and wavy. He thought she looked beautiful.
He was making breakfast for them, fried potatoes and strips of wold meat that tasted surprisingly like bacon when fried.
"Breakfasts almost done," he announced to her with a grin. He noticed her glum expression and asked, "What's the matter?"
"Vaan," she said, taking a deep breath. "Vaan, I'm leaving."
"Leaving?" he asked, dumbfounded. "Why?"
"Balthier is back and-"
"I thought he was dead?!" he said a little harshly.
"He and Fran found a ship off the Bahamut. They said you can have it, it's called The Endurance. It-"
"So he gets the ship and my girl?" Vaan asked, trembling with anger. She'd never seen him this angry before, he was usually so easygoing.
"Vaan, I'm not your girl," she said softly. "I'm your best friend."
"You must only be my friend because only a true friend can stab you in the back and make it hurt this much."
Tears welled up in Penelo's eyes. "I'm sorry."
"I love you, Penelo, more than anything else in the world."
They were both silent for a long time, Vaan staring at her as if he'd never seen her before. Finally, he spoke. "Do you love him?"
"I do," she said quietly.
He looked at her one last time and walked out the door without saying a word. The meat caught fire atop the stove.
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That was the last time she'd seen Vaan.
She sent him letters everyday for the first six months they were separated. He never once replied to them. After the first six months, however, she grew angry. Maybe she didn't love him the way he wanted, but she did love him. She only wrote a letter a week after that, soon only one a month, until she just stopped writing altogther.
Balthier proposed after they were together for a year, giving her a huge diamond ring. She gladly accepted, but something just didn't feel right. Every time they tried to set a wedding date, she'd hesitate and tell him she wasn't ready to be married.
After their forth year together, things changed. She didn't know why, but she just didn't love Balthier the same way anymore. They were more like best friends than lovers. Nothing noticeable drove the wedge into their relationship; she knew he was faithful.
It just wasn't there anymore, the force that drove them together in the first place. She knew they both felt it. There was also the fact that she couldn't get a certain blond-haired boy from her mind. Hell, it was five years later; he'd be twenty-two, a man. She missed him more than she could admit, it just took her five years to figure out why.
She had been analyzing, re-analyzing, and overanalyzing the falling out between her and Vaan, and it dawned on her. She was in love with Vaan she always had been. Penelo had loved Balthier, too, because he was new and exciting, but in her heart of hearts, she knew that it was Vaan she was meant to be with.
And, finally, she knew what she had to do.
She received a reply from Vaan about three weeks after she mailed her letter. It read:
I don't know what I can do to help you with your problem, whatever that may be. But, I'll be in Rabanastre for the next two months. You know where to find me.
Vaan
The letter, though tragically short and impersonal, fueled her onward. She put it in her pocket for luck and went to find Balthier.
She found him in the control room, wiping down the console as he so frequently did. She took and deep breath and asked, "Can we talk, Balthier?"
"Of course," he said, indicating for her to sit down in the co-pilot's seat. She did. "Are we finally going to talk about what I think we're going to talk about?"
"That depends on what you think we're going to talk about."
He was silent for a moment, then offering, "Things have change, Penelo."
"They have," she replied.
"You'll go back then?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Do you love him? Vaan?"
"I do."
He sighed. "I knew it when we first go together that you loved him, you just didn't seem to notice yourself. And as selfish as it is to say, I hoped you wouldn't because I loved you too much. I'll take you back then."
"You don't have to."
"Actually, I do," he said. "I'm the one that took his girl. I should be the one to return her."
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The Strahl landed in Rabanastre the next day. Penelo had all her things packed, braiding her hair the way she always used to. She met Balthier in the living quarters.
"I guess this is good-bye," she said quietly. Despite the way things had turned out between them, she cared for him deeply and always would.
"Indeed, it is."
"You should have this back," Penelo said, sliding the engagement ring from her finger and handing it to him. He pocketed it.
"I'll keep this and when I see it, I'll think of the kindest, most beautiful woman I've ever known."
She smiled. "Can I kiss you good-bye?"
"I'd be insulted if you didn't," he chuckled. Yes, she was going to miss that smile. They kissed and it was sweet and tender. Nothing like the urgent, passionate ones in the beginning.
She picked up her luggage and turned to go.
"Thank you," Balthier said.
"For what?" she asked.
"For showing me that I am capable of loving another. And, well, just thank-you. For loving me."
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Penelo searched Rabanastre for Vaan, with no success. She finally decided to ask Migelo, her old employer. He directed her to the airfield, where Vaan was apparently giving his ship a "spring-cleaning."
She found Vaan down there, exactly where Migelo said he'd be. Setting her bags on the ground, she watched him for a minute, admiring how much he had grown. He was now tall, perhaps 6'4" with broad shoulders and a tan, well-toned body. His hair was as blond as ever and longer, pulled back into a ponytail. Blond scruff covered his lower face, giving him a much older appearance.
This definitely wasn't the Vaan she remembered.
Sometime while she was admiring the way the muscles in his back move when he scrubbed the left wing, he noticed her standing there. He did a double take before jumping off the wing and striding up to her.
"You came. I didn't think you would."
"Why?"
He merely shrugged, drying his hands with a towel.
An elongated silence fell between them as they both inspected each other for the first time in years.
"Your hair is back the way it was."
"It belongs this way," she said meaningfully.
Another silence.
"So why did you come?" he asked.
"I love you," she replied, looking into his eyes. The snorted audibly. "I do, Vaan. It took me longer to realize it than it should have, but I finally did."
Calculating his words carefully, he asked, "You never married him?" She shook her head. "I saw the engagement announcement in the paper."
"Oh."
"I burned the paper." She laughed. This was something Vaan would have said in the old days.
"So what was the problem?" he asked, indicating the letter she wrote him.
"I was with the wrong man."
His eyes burned into hers. "Are you with the right one now?"
"It depends on if he'll have me..."
Hesitating, he stepped towards her and took her hands in his. "I tried to hate you for so long, Penelo, but I just couldn't. I've loved you for so long and I love you so much that I think I'd forgive you for anything."
"I hope so," she said, standing up on tiptoes to kiss him. Her arms wrapped around his neck and his wrapped around her lower back. The kiss was tentative, quickly growing assertive and slightly aggressive. They broke a part and she laid her head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat through his shirt.
They held each other for several minutes before Vaan spoke. "I thing in the bottom of my heart, I knew you'd come back to me, come to your senses."
"How did you know?" she asked, looking up at him.
Vaan smiled wryly. "You were always the sensible one," he said, leaning down to kiss her again.
please review or my pet monkey will punch a hole in your computer screen after dropping your hard drive off a cliff. if you review, i will call him off your computer and instead feed him a banana. you have been warned. (i'm just kidding by the way... unless little brothers count as monkeys. if they do, then perhaps i'm not kidding after all.)