This can be a slight complication
You can try intense concentration
Perchance grammar for relaxation?
Besides that won't stop the temptation
Some strong alcoholic libation
Plus, Captains in the Federation
And if an inborn hesitation
Yes, 'Fleet's refined an innovation -
In order to find consolation
Of programmes when in operation
This of course can cause consternation
But set aside all trepidation
In fact if you need confirmation
So there's no need for vacillation
Helping Hand
by Cybermum
According to some regulation
You must avoid association.
When lost in deep space
A burning embrace
Can lead to Star Fleet condemnation.
And often creates irritation
In Captains of ships
On very long trips
Who suffer acute deprivation.
Or Transcendental Meditation
To stave off the itch
If you ignore, which
Might lead to some fraternization.
But what fun is verb conjugation?
Easing the tension
With some declension
Does nothing for your situation.
And you still need elimination
Of prurient thoughts
(known as 'the hots').
You might try in sad desperation.
Or powerful sleep medication
But this is perverse
And just makes things worse
And leads to excess aggravation.
Must never endanger their station
With pills and with drink
As others might think
They suffer from deep desolation.
With regards to self flagellation
Causes extra grief
There's a way to relief:
But be warned it involves animation.
An aid to help alleviation
Of naughty urges
And hormone surges
Which can be the source of vexation.
You're instructed in activation
Of lasers and light:
An illusory sight
But you then can cause the creation
Do provide a chance for flirtation.
A game, then a dance;
A holo-romance -
Resulting in some osculation.
In Captains who fear degradation
From actions adult
Which often result
From male and female confrontation.
Those fears have no base or foundation
It's a proven fact:
A holodeck act
Will not damage your reputation.
Or want official validation
Just take a quick walk
With your Holo-Doc
He'll provide you with affirmation.
When you long for gratification
Just take a good look -
It's there in the book:
Starfleet recommends masturbation.