Title: Dude, Where's My Wand?

Disclaimer: As owner of Harr- ARGH!!! Strangled by lawyers ("Where did they come from??") OK, OK, OK, like I was saying, I DO NOT own anything but the plot. turns to lawyers (HAPPY??? Damn lawyers...")

A/N: Hope you guyz like the story and PRETTY PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!! You don't want to make me cry would you?????????

Aren't I Lucky?

"Urgh," groaned Hermione as she placed her trunk onto the familiar Platform Nine and Three Quarters, "why do these trunks have to be so heavy?" It was her second last year at Hogwarts and had been made Head Girl. Nothing could ruin this year, she thought. She had changed a lot over the summer, her hair was no longer bushy but now straight and gleaming in the sun, she had grown taller and had seductive curves in all the right places. Her summer had gone quite well, apart from the fact she hadn't seen Harry nor Ron at all. Just when she was about to say goodbye to her parents, she heard her name being called out.

"Hermione! HERMIONE! God, we've been calling you for ages! I swear, you've gone deaf or something..." exclaimed the taller of the two, now looking flustered. He had well- toned muscles and red hair that could be seen anywhere. "Harry! Ron!," she said as she hugged them, "it's so good to see you again! I'm sorry but I was distracted..."

"S'okay, Hermione. It's good to see you, too. How was your summer?" asked Harry. He had also grown over the summer. He now had muscles to match Ron and was rather good-looking... at least, according to the way passing girls who were suddenly gawking at him. His dark hair was extraordinarily untidy but in a nice way.

They sat down in their compartment, Hermione busily arguing with Ron about his commitment to SPEW. "You're so typical, Ron! You have no respect for the decency and dignity for other living creatures. What if you had to work your fingers to the bone for people who treat you like dirt and don't even PAY you? It's absolute SLAVERY!" she exclaimed angrily.

"THEY LIKE IT! Get that through your head, Hermione! They're happy the way they are but some people just aren't satisfied with , COUGH HERMIONE!" he fired back.

"Oh, looks, a lover's quarrel, it must be my lucky day. I thought you, Weasley, weren't that low to be dating a Mudblood. As always, I have overestimated you, my bad. Of course, I can see why that would be your only choice," drawled an all-too familiar voice from behind.

"What do you want, Malfoy? Whatever it is, make it quick I can't stand to listen to shit like you for too long or I might get a disease" Hermione said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, the bitch is getting angry. I'm terrified. What are you gonna do, throw a book at me?" he smirked, his eyes glinting maliciously, "stupid stuck-up Mudbl-OUCH!" Hogwarts: A History had taken its revenge on his head.

"Glad its useful for something," muttered Ron, grinning.

"Don't get angry with me because Potter and Weasley dumped you. However, if you want to explain why you didn't show up for the Head Boy and Head Girl meeting to Professor McGonagall, that's fine wi-"

"OH MY GOD!" she gasped as she dashed out of the room. How could she have forgotten? This was very important to her and she had not remembered. Finally, she reached the compartment and walked in with all the dignity she could muster. "Good Evening, Professor McGonagall, I am so sorry I'm late... I... I don't know what happened," she weakly apologized.

"That's alright, Miss Granger, but do not let it happen again. As I was telling, Mr Malfoy, as Head Boy and Head Girl you are expected to be mature and to – "she went on only to be interrupted by a laugh of disbelief.

"You're Head Boy? "she cried in utter shock.

"What's so shocking about it, Granger?" he demanded, obviously angry she was surprised.

"Ahem. Like I was saying you two are expected to be mature and to be a role model for the other students. Your job will be to organize balls, parties, events and to represent the students. This is a highly prestigious position so I suggest you work hard to keep it. You will be sharing a dormitory together –"again interrupted by not only one horrified scream but by two...

A/N: How do like that??? Don't worry, things will get juicer later but... YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT!!!!! Mwahahahaha!!!!! Cackles evilly Anywayz, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!! I'll try to update l8er but I'll just have to se- ARGH!!!!!! sster attacks unsuspecting author

Kayla: Hey guyz, my name's Kayla! Don't read any of the crap my sister's putting up cuz it's a total waste of ti- author tackles Kayla to the ground

Chelsea: Sorry about that, guyz! That was my adopted sister ("HEY!!!") . Oh, by the way my name's Chelsea! Like I was saying, I'll try to update but I'll just have to see..... CIAO!!!!