He's so different to you.
He's so ridiculously and refreshingly different from you.
He wears suits and you wear skinny jeans with a leather jacket. You even asked me when we were engaged if it was suitable for you to wear that bloody leather jacket to our own wedding. I know with him if he asks, when he asks, I won't have to beg him, persuade him to wear a suit to our wedding. He wears them everyday and I love him for that. He wouldn't even think twice about doing it for me. He wouldn't think twice about doing anything for me. But that makes me love him more and fall even harder for the man I once hated, loathed in fact.
Did you hear that?
Yes, I just said I love him. I'm over you at last, over the pain, the heartache and the feeling that I'd never have you out of my system. I couldn't be happier you know.
He's everything I never thought I would want and more. He's everything you once were with a bottle of Merlot on top. I trust him. Trust. I don't think you even know how to spell it, let alone follow it through. The man I love doesn't hide his darkest secrets, his fears of the past and the future. He tells me them all. Late at night when we're cuddled up together he whispers what he's scared of and all those mistakes he's made. Well, I think it would take you longer than a night to tell me all of your mistakes. I guess you're still living with them all now.
But, being with you and losing all we had taught me so much. It taught me to understand the good from the bad. When you used me, took the share in my factory, cheated on me and left me heartbroken when I lost our daughter. The only hope of happiness and link to you I had. When she went; you did too. It was as though part of me died with her when she'd gone and all I wanted was to be rid of you. Free from the pain, free from you.
You must think I hate you but I don't. I'll always love you Peter. Always. There's not one day that goes by when I don't think of you, of what could have been and where our family would be at. If you and Tina had never been a thing then we'd probably be together still but isn't that a weird thought? That I'd be a mother to your child, Tina would still be alive and Rob probably wouldn't be in the nick. There will always be a place in my heart for you, always. You may be in my heart forever but that doesn't mean I want you in my life. That ship well and truly sailed, off to Antigua or wherever the hell you are these days. So don't say for one minute that because I've moved on I never loved you. You're so very wrong because I felt as though my world had ended when you took me in the back of the Rovers; uttered those words that ended it all.
'I've been having an affair.'
They make every pore and corner of my body shudder from top to high heeled toe. But I know it's okay, I won't ever hear a man of mine say those words again. I'll never hear Nick tell me that there has been someone else, someone he had betrayed me with and thought they were far better than I was or ever would be. He's not that type of guy and that's another reason that I'm in love with him.
But like I say, I'll always have a place in my heart for you. I will always feel not quite complete because we were never complete.
I hope one day we can maybe be friends, possibly have a friendly chat or even a cup of coffee together.
So good luck with your life Peter. I hope you find someone as wonderful as the one I've found.
All the best,
Carla.
I've seen so many fantastic pieces of Narla and Carter work on here so I thought I'd give it a dabble!
I might write something similar from Peter's point of view if anyone is interested- so please leave a review! :D
Thank you for reading! :)