Explanation: It seems there are some people who always want more... And it seems that this epilogue was in need of an epilogue... So... here it is again... and then some...And this time
I promise ... it is finished.
It was very late by the time Chakotay arrived in sickbay.
Although the Doctor had kept him constantly informed as to the away
teams' condition from the moment they had been beamed back to the
Voyager, it had taken all his self- control not to rush right down there
and see for himself that they were all right.
However he was in command of the ship - her ship – and there had been
far too many things to see to before he could justify leaving the
bridge.
But now repairs were well underway. Shields were functioning at
acceptable levels; the force field they had erected around the gaping
hole in Voyager's starboard side had been reinforced and was holding;
the corridors on decks five, six and seven had been cleared; and there
was no sign of Borg activity within the scope of their long range
scanners.
So Chakotay had issued a ship-wide order to downgrade to yellow alert,
turned the bridge over to the Beta shift and started to make his way
towards sickbay. But he had made several stops along the way. He knew
that he would be expected to answer detailed questions about the state
of the ship – and he grinned in anticipation. He was ready.
In Engineering he had conferred with Joe Carey, who reported that there
had been no permanent damage to any of the ship's systems. B'Elanna
would surely demand an update on the condition of her domain, and he
figured if he could give her an eyewitness report she might be persuaded
to rest for an extra few hours.
Ayala had reported in earlier. Security systems were on line and he had
assigned extra personnel to each of the next four shifts. Chakotay was
well aware that Tuvok was still unconscious. But he also knew that when
the Vulcan did awaken he would immediately ask about the ship's
security. The PADD that Chakotay planned to leave beside the Security
Chief's bio-bed contained enough data, he hoped to assuage any concerns
he might have.
Astrometrics was functioning at optimal level. Under Seven's direction
how could it be otherwise?
Neelix was back in the mess hall, and Chakotay had been very pleased to
see various crewmembers there when he had dropped by, ostensibly to grab
a light snack, but in reality to check out morale. He had found over the
years, that the mood in the mess hall was a fair indication of that of
the rest of the ship. He'd stopped at several tables to chat, answer
questions and ask a few of his own.
When he finally did reach sickbay he was not surprised to see the Doctor
in his office, staring intently at his computer terminal. Chakotay
coughed discretely and the medic looked up.
"Commander" he said. "I assume you've come to check on my patients".
The Doctor rose and walked around his desk, picking up a PADD as he
approached the First Officer.
"Follow me, if you please." It was an order, and Chakotay smiled as he
followed the hologram into the recovery area.
"Commander Tuvok's condition is stable" the Doctor informed him as they
approached the Vulcan's bio-bed. He consulted his PADD and made a quick
adjustment to one of the monitors at the Vulcan's head.
"I removed his implants, along with Lieutenant Torres' and the
Captain's, I might add, with complete success. However the Commander's
experience was more… intense than the others, and his recovery, as a
result will be more difficult than theirs. This ship is in dire need of
a counselor." the Doctor sighed.
"I will do my best of course" he continued "but even I am not fully
equipped to deal with the sort of trauma that being assimilated
entails."
Chakotay nodded. "I know Doctor," he said. "Perhaps I can be of some
assistance. I've had my own experiences with assimilation. And a fair
amount of practice in the art of meditation." He paused for a moment.
"If Tuvok will allow it, of course." He continued.
"I hope so. One never knows with Vulcans. They can be incredibly
stubborn."
Chakotay was barely successful in suppressing a grin and turned towards
the next bed.
"Lieutenant Torres…" The Doctor stopped and looked around in
exasperation.
"Where is Lieutenant Torres?" The hologram was suddenly furious.
"I cannot believe this. She was under direct orders to remain here
under observation for at least another twelve hours." He punched at his
communicator. "Computer, locate Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres".
"Lieutenant Torres is on Deck(?) Section(?)"
The Doctor made as if to activate his communicator again, but Chakotay
stopped him before he could.
"She's with Tom Paris." He said. "Leave them be Doctor."
"But…"
"Is she wearing her cortical monitor?" He asked.
The Doctor checked the nearest computer terminal.
"Yes, she is." He said.
"Tom will take care of her." He said. "Very good care of her" he
repeated quietly. "Let them be."
The Doctor stared at Chakotay and finally nodded. He turned and began
to walk towards the farthest alcove.
"Well it's about time." The Doctor stopped and surveyed the scene
before him.
"I've been trying to get her to rest since she was brought in here."
He turned to Chakotay and continued.
"The Captain's implants were the most physically intrusive. She had
extra insertions embedded in her spinal cord and her cerebral cortex.
As I said before, I was able to remove them all. However she had more
muscular damage than the other two and the best healer for that is
sleep." The Doctor sighed.
"Do you know how hard it is to get the Captain to sleep, Commander?"
Chakotay moved past the hologram and gazed at his sleeping Captain.
"I can imagine, Doctor." He said softly.
He reached out involuntarily as if to touch her, and caught himself just
in time. Instead he carefully removed several of the PADDs that were
strewn haphazardly over the bed - and the Captain, and placed them in a
pile on the table beside her bio-bed, next to an almost empty coffee cup
and a piece of what he took to be Borg technology of some sort.
"I'll just…" he turned to speak to the Doctor, but when he looked around
the medic had disappeared. "… stay here for a while." He continued
quietly.
Chakotay pulled a chair out from against the wall, turned it around next
to the bio-bed and straddled it. He rested his chin on its back and
contemplated Kathryn Janeway - at rest.
She had obviously fallen asleep in spite of herself. If the PADDs he
had rescued weren't sufficient evidence of that, her position was. She
was sitting up, leaning back against the wall behind the bed. He
grinned. It was not a particularly comfortable looking position, but
then, when did Kathryn Janeway allow herself to get too comfortable? He
would have liked to move her, but he knew that would wake her, and he
certainly didn't want to do that.
She shifted slightly and moaned in her sleep and this time he didn't
resist. He reached out again, grasped her hand and gave it a small
reassuring squeeze. He was pleased and touched when she seemed to almost
smile in response and settle once again into a peaceful slumber. He
didn't relinquish his grip.
"Well my friend" he whispered. "You've done it again, haven't you. You
set yourself an impossible goal, went out after it and plunged us into
the centre of a storm. But we've come through, haven't we Kathryn?
We've come through it - ship and principles intact.
He studied her carefully. She looked smaller and somehow more
vulnerable than he had ever seen her and he suddenly realized that he
had never seen her asleep.
They'll follow you anywhere, this crew of yours." He continued. "They
believe in you implicitly." He looked down at her hand, small and pale
in his. "We'll follow you anywhere." He emended.
"You make us impossible promises. You expect nothing but perfection.
You are stubborn and intractable. Opinionated and demanding. And
seemingly fearless. What drives you Kathryn? Where do you find that
inner strength that I love." He stopped.
"Damn. And if you were awake right now I'd be headed for the brig."
He sensed rather than felt the change in her breathing. Her fingers
curled around his, but she didn't open her eyes.
"Maybe" she whispered. "But then again, maybe not."
~~
"Kathryn…?"
She opened her eyes.
"How are you?"
She disengaged her hand from his and struggled to sit up straighter,
trying unsuccessfully to suppress a slight grimace of pain as she did.
"I've been better."
"I can imagine. Here…" He got up and walked around his chair.
"Let me help you."
He carefully slipped his arm around her shoulders and helped her sit
upright.
"Thank you."
He made as if to move back to his chair and she gripped his hand again.
He didn't hesitate for a moment, but sat down on the bed beside her. And
waited.
"Fearless" she said, finally.
"You said I was fearless. Hah." She looked up at him for a brief moment
and then away again.
"Chakotay, I've never been so frightened as I was on that cube. I knew
the Doctor's neural suppressants were working well, and I knew that we
were being monitored at all times. I knew that you would beam us out of
there at the first sign of trouble… " She glanced up at him again. And
he responded with a quick grin.
"Maybe not the first sign Kathryn…"
She wiggled against him, in appreciation of his small jest.
"Well … the second sign then" she responded lightly.
"Oh, definitely the second sign."
She sighed again and looked down at their hands, once again entwined.
"I knew that Tuvok was having trouble staying focused, I could see him
struggling to stay in control. I tried to help him as much as I
could." She paused.
"He asked me to de-activate him you know. I… couldn't do it. I
wouldn't even consider doing it. And yet…"
"And yet just a little while later you stood by and watched as the Queen
destroyed several cubes and many thousands of drones." He finished for
her.
She turned and stared at him.
"Chakotay how did … how can I justify that?" She questioned in a harsh,
hoarse, desperate whisper.
"Kathryn, I don't think that you can ever justify something like that.
Nor should you even try. But…" He stopped for a moment, choosing his
words carefully.
"You really didn't have a choice you know. The Borg Queen was going to
destroy those cubes no matter what you did. You just happened to be
there when she did it. She had been hunting for those renegade drones
and for Unimatrix Zero long before you and B'Elanna and Tuvok arrived in
the Collective. She manipulated you in the worst possible way. She
played upon what she perceived to be your greatest flaw. Your
humanity. She thought her threats would coerce you into immediate
cooperation. That you wouldn't hesitate to pinpoint those few drones in
order save many more. And when you wouldn't comply, she only did what
she had been planning to do all along."
He pulled her to him, not caring suddenly for protocol or parameters or
any other bits and pieces of the nonsense that she had spouted at him
over the years. She didn't resist. They both needed this contact. The
comfort of connection.
"Kathryn you are going to have to live with the consequences of your
actions today, and every other day for the rest of your life. So you
have got to decide what those consequences are. Yes, you can choose to
tell yourself that you were the cause of the destruction of thousands of
life forms. Whether you think of them as drones, or individuals – that
too is your choice. But think of some of the other consequences of
those same actions. You have given others, the ones that were
disconnected as a result of what you and Tuvok and B'Elanna did over
there, a chance that they would otherwise never have had. You have
given them back their individuality. You have given them the freedom to
choose who they are, and what they will become. You have dealt the
Collective a blow from which it will take them a long time to recover."
He paused and looked down at her.
"At least I hope it will." He finished.
Kathryn Janeway settled herself comfortably against her First Officer's
side and breathed deeply. He felt the tension slowly leave her body as
she allowed herself to relax. He didn't dare move for fear that she
would withdraw. They sat quietly together and he wondered at how natural
and right it felt to rest this way. He hoped she felt it too.
Eventually he spoke again.
"As for your fear Kathryn, you should treasure that."
"What?" He felt her stiffen in surprise, and he continued quickly.
"Kathryn, think about it. Fear is a very healthy and very human emotion.
And you Kathryn Janeway, despite your efforts to have us believe
otherwise, are human. You were in a Borg cube. You had been
assimilated, and even worse, you were aware of it. The Doctor's
suppressant was an experimental protocol, and your connection to Voyager
was tenuous at best. Your fear was a reminder of your humanity. And I
think Captain" he used her title deliberately "I would be far more
concerned if I found out that you weren't afraid."
She smiled then and gave him a gentle elbow in the ribs.
"Well then Commander" she said "You can relax. I was… I am terrified."
"Good."
"Constantly." She added.
"Even better." He moved quickly to avoid the elbow that came at him
again.
"Pretty smooth Commander, pretty smooth. Wait until I'm fully recovered
and then try to escape me."
They grinned at one another and he pulled her to him again.
"Now I'm terrified!" he said.
"Good!" she echoed his earlier response.
"Anyhow" he continued. "I don't think I would ever want to escape you."
The words hung between them.
"Chakotay, I… you…shouldn't…"
"Shouldn't what Kathryn? Surely, by this time you must know how I feel
about you? And I've just spent the past I don't know how many hours in
the very state we've been discussing… total fear that I would never see
you again – and that I would never get the chance to actually tell you
how I feel. So you're going to have to hear it Kathryn, whether you
like it or not."
He realized that she hadn't moved away from him, and he was encouraged
to go on.
"Do you trust me Kathryn?"
"I trust you implicitly Chakotay. Didn't you notice I haven't asked you
about my ship yet?" She tried valiantly to change the subject.
"Oh I noticed all right, Kathryn. But I also noticed the pile of PADDs
and the computer terminal at the side of your bed. You know exactly
what's going on all over your ship! And you know exactly what's going on
between us."
She looked away quickly but he could have sworn he saw her blush. He
continued.
"You can't avoid this any more, Kathryn. I know I've been trying for
years and it just hasn't worked. I can't change the way I feel. And
quite frankly" his voice took on a deeper tone "I don't want to."
"I … I think I don't want to either…" her response was so quiet he could
barely hear it.
He released the deep breath that he didn't know he'd been holding.
"So." he said, and was inordinately pleased that his voice remained
steady.
"What are we going to do now?"
She surprised him.
"This, I think."
And before he could react she leaned forward and brushed her lips gently
against his.
He stared at her, astounded and entranced.
"Did that frighten you Chakotay?" There was a hint of laughter in her
voice.
"Terrified me. Could you do it again please. I'm going to have to try
to conquer this particular fear as quickly as possible."
She laughed outright at that and to his great delight kissed him again.
"Did that help?" she asked a little breathlessly few moments later.
"Might have. But I think we're going to have to spend a lot more time
working on it." He answered.
"Indeed Commander. You might be right. But in the meantime…" she was
suddenly serious.
"In the meantime I'd better get back to work or my Captain will send me
off to the brig." He said.
"Maybe" she said as he slid off the bed and started towards the door.
"But then again, maybe not."
Disclaimer: There is absolutely no similarity between these characters and the ones that are supposedly owned and operated by Paramount in any way shape or form. Any resemblance that you might see is purely the result of your own overactive imagination.
Unimatrix Zero II Epilogue (2nd Edition!)
by Cybermum
~~