Author's Notes: Okay, one word of caution to the wise. ^^ I suck at
parodies. I've tried doing this for Slam Dunk, and I really really really
suck. But when I read Grimm's Fairy Tales, a book owned by my sis, I can't
help but write. ^^;;; Call it inspiration! Anyway, this is a Christmas
treat for everyone.
Note: Especially dedicated to Kaho-haters ^-^;;; Kaho fans, please keep away and don't flame me, for heaven's sake.
E/T PARODY NUMBER 1: Rapunzel
Genre: parody, humor, romance Rating: PG Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura belongs to CLAMP.
A long time ago, a man and his wife yeared to have a child. They wished and wished until at last, their wish was granted and the woman conceived a child. One day, the woman, whose name was Sonomi, was looking out of their window, looking down on the garden of their neighbor, who was a witch named...Kaho (A/N: XD no offense, I can't find any character suitable). The garden was full of flowers, herbs and vegetables and was surrounded by a high wall, in which the witch's temple, called the Tsukimine Shrine, can be also found. Sonomi gazed longinly at the bed of fresh green rapunzel and callde out to her husband. "Daidouji-san, I must have some of that rapunzel or I will die."
"Don't be silly, Sonomi-san," her husband said. "This miso soup and egg rolls with wasabe will do you good, too."
His wife frowned. "Oh, hush. You know how tired I am of Japanese food! You are owner of a toy company for heaven's sake and you can't get me just a bit of rapunzel?"
Sonomi's husband had no choice but to obey his demanding wife. He looked there and yonder for rapunzel, but he found out that the only rapunzel around were growing inside the gardne of the witch. He had no other option, so at dusk, he climed the garden wall with much difficulty, took a handful of rapunzel and gave it to her wife. Sonomi ate it quickly, and she found out that she still liked some more. Once again, her husband crept to the garden, but this time, Kaho was sweeping the front of the temple and spotted him.
"Sumimasen (excuse me), but how dare you steal my rapunzel?" she asked with a sweet smile. "I am not really fond of threatening people, but you will surely pay for this."
Sonomi's wife fell to his knees. "Have mercy," he begged. "My wife saw the rapunzel from our window and she said she would die if she didn't have some."
"Silly woman," Kaho muttered under her breath as she combed her hair with her fingers. "Alright, you are welcome to have as much as you want...but...on one condition."
"I'll give you anything!" the man promised and Kaho hid a smile.
From her kimono, Kaho produced a bell-like object. "When you hear this bell ring the moment your child is born, you must give me the baby." Th man did not want to give the child, but Kaho's smile was so powerful he was completely undone. He agreed and went off with rapunzel in his hand.
The moment the child was born, they heard the bell tinkling in the night. Kaho came to their doorstep and reluctantly, they gave her the child. "I'll name her...Rapunzel," Kaho said.
"Umm...excuse me." Sonomi appeared by the door. "But would it be much of a favor if you retain her name: Tomoyo? Rapunzel kinda...sucks, you know.."
"Oh all right! Whims..." Kaho named the child Tomoyo and she grew up to be the loveliest child under the sun. When she was around 16, the witch carried her to the woods and shut her in a tower, because she can't believe this child grew to be more beautiful than she is. Insecure, Kaho made the tower without door nor stairs, and the opening was only a window at the top.
One day, Kaho was briging food to Tomoyo when she realized...how the hell will she get up to the tower. She called out to Tomoyo and said, "Tomoyo, Tomoyo! Let down your long black hair."
There was a slight rustle and Tomoyo looked out of the window. "Oh for heaven's sake, old witch," she retorted. "Can't you just climb up here by yourself?"
"Let down your hair or I won't bring you dinner!" Kaho threathened and Tomoyo, for fear of not having to eat, let down her long, curly, dark hair and allowed the witch to climb, with much difficulty. Soon, Kaho grew tired of climbing up and down Tomoyo's hair like that. She wan't really trained for extreme sports. She just therefore carries a ladder with her and takes it with her as she leaves to make sure Tomoyo cannot escape.
Two years later, a sorcerer disguised as a common student at Tomoeda High walked through the forest. As he passed by the tower, he heard te loveliest voice singing so sweetly that he had to stop and listen. The sorcerer longed to see the owner of the voice, but the tower had no entrance to it, so he just went home. Still, he came every day to listen to the voice.
One day, the prince was standing behind a tree, listening to the wonderful voice when a woman arrived at the foot of the tower and called. "Oi, Tomoyo! I forot my ladder, bring down your hair."
"I can't old witch!" came the reply.
Kaho, furious at being called old, called out again. "Who are you fooling? Come here and let your hair down or I'll hit you wit this bell!"
The young man heard muttering and then, long strands of black hair was brought down. Kaho climbed it again with much diffificulty. "Ah, so that's how to do it," the young man whispered to himself.
The next day, he waited for the witch to go down (he was surprised she brought a ladder with her) and went at the foot of the tower and cried. "Tomoyo, please bring down you hair!"
"Oh, that damn old hag," came a voice above and Tomoyo looked down. She was surprised to see somebody else aside from the witch visit her. "Oh, how rude of me...umm..you don't happen to have a ladder, sir?"
"No, I don't have. Can't I just climb up your hair?" he asked. "My name is Eriol, by the way."
"Uh...well, I can do the "letting down my hair" thing, but it kind of hurts me on the scalp. I mean, with that heavy witch clinging to it two times." Tomoyo sighed. "But..."
"Hey wait, I got an idea." Eriol called himself stupid in his thoughts for forgetting that he was a sorcerer after all. He let his wand materialize on his hand and bade himself to float in the air. Amidst Tomoyo's gasps of surprise, Eriol flew towards the window and entered it. "Hello," he greeted.
"Hello," came Tomoyo's reply.
"May I know your name?" he asked courteously as he looked around. From the outside, the tower looked so desolate, but actually inside, was a TV, a piano, a four-canopy bed, and even a dresser with feminine things on it.
"I'm Tomoyo, but that old hag likes calling me Rapunzel. Imagine naming me after a vegetable," she said, sighing rather heavily at the last part. "So, how did you come here, and why did you come to visit me?"
"I was walking in the woods when I heard your voice," Eriol admitted. After many hours of talking, they found out that they liked each other. Eriol decided that he loved her already and asked for her hand in marriage.
Tomoyo thought for a while. This young sorcerer was handsome, smart, plus, he could play the piano. [I'll be better off off with him than with that old scrawny witch.] So she answered yes. "But, I can't climb down from the tower."
"Ah, that's easy," he said. "I'll enchant a carpet for you so it can fly. Then I can fetch you and run away."
"Oh, okay." Ad it was agreed that they talk of their plan every evening, since Kaho just comes by day.
However, Kaho was having her suspicions. She watched the tower day and night and found out about the young man who can float in the air and reach the window. Angered, she went up to the tower and confronted Tomoyo. "How dare you do mischief while I am gone?" she accussed. "Is that the normal behavior of an eighteen year old girl?"
"But, old witch, he is really a good man. He's kind, generous, can play the piano..."
Kaho grew more and more angry that she cut off Tomoyo's hair short. "That will teach you a lesson." She took Tomoyo out of the tower into the deeper part of the forest and stayed there. The witch then came back, climbed the tower and waited for the handsome young sorcerer.
Night came and it did not fail. Eriol came floating towards the window, but what he saw was not Tomoyo but a red-hared woman waiting for her. "Good evening, Eriol," she greeted.
"Good evening...where's Tomoyo?" Eriol asked the witch.
"Oh, I'm afraid she ran off somewhere. I'm up here looking for her, too," she answered, obvioulsy lying.
Eriol knew something was wrong. "Um...so..."
"She's gone, from the looks of it," Kaho said. "Why don't you come with me and join me for a cup of tea?" She gave Eriol her sweetest smile.
Erio was supposed to nod when something in his pocket rang. He pulled out a cellphone and answered it. "Oh hello, Tomoyo! You used the phone I gave you...uh..what? This woman carried you to a deep part of the forest? Ok, I'll be with you in a moment." He hang up and looked at Kaho. "What did you do to her?"
"Tomoyo is gone, Eriol." Kaho was mad Tomoyo outwitted her again. "But you can come with me and..."
"Sorry," Eriol said as he started to get out of the window. "I have no interest with older women."
He floated off the tower and ran to the forst to look for Tomoyo. He found her near a lake, asleep. At last, he was able to carry her off to his country and marry her.
Kaho went back to rapunzel-raising business, enticing parents to give her their children, hoping that the child would be a boy.
Tomoyo's father and mother were reunited with her. Soon, Tomoyo and Eriol owned the largest toy factory in the country.
And of course, Eriol and Tomoyo lived happily ever after.
-The End-
AUTHOR'S NOTES: So...how was it ^^;; I know, I know..it's stupid, but I can't help it. LOL! Please send me a review and tell me if I should do more parodies, I have about three more stories lined up ^^;;; Give me encouragement if you tihnk it's wirth reading, it, ok?
Note: Especially dedicated to Kaho-haters ^-^;;; Kaho fans, please keep away and don't flame me, for heaven's sake.
E/T PARODY NUMBER 1: Rapunzel
Genre: parody, humor, romance Rating: PG Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura belongs to CLAMP.
A long time ago, a man and his wife yeared to have a child. They wished and wished until at last, their wish was granted and the woman conceived a child. One day, the woman, whose name was Sonomi, was looking out of their window, looking down on the garden of their neighbor, who was a witch named...Kaho (A/N: XD no offense, I can't find any character suitable). The garden was full of flowers, herbs and vegetables and was surrounded by a high wall, in which the witch's temple, called the Tsukimine Shrine, can be also found. Sonomi gazed longinly at the bed of fresh green rapunzel and callde out to her husband. "Daidouji-san, I must have some of that rapunzel or I will die."
"Don't be silly, Sonomi-san," her husband said. "This miso soup and egg rolls with wasabe will do you good, too."
His wife frowned. "Oh, hush. You know how tired I am of Japanese food! You are owner of a toy company for heaven's sake and you can't get me just a bit of rapunzel?"
Sonomi's husband had no choice but to obey his demanding wife. He looked there and yonder for rapunzel, but he found out that the only rapunzel around were growing inside the gardne of the witch. He had no other option, so at dusk, he climed the garden wall with much difficulty, took a handful of rapunzel and gave it to her wife. Sonomi ate it quickly, and she found out that she still liked some more. Once again, her husband crept to the garden, but this time, Kaho was sweeping the front of the temple and spotted him.
"Sumimasen (excuse me), but how dare you steal my rapunzel?" she asked with a sweet smile. "I am not really fond of threatening people, but you will surely pay for this."
Sonomi's wife fell to his knees. "Have mercy," he begged. "My wife saw the rapunzel from our window and she said she would die if she didn't have some."
"Silly woman," Kaho muttered under her breath as she combed her hair with her fingers. "Alright, you are welcome to have as much as you want...but...on one condition."
"I'll give you anything!" the man promised and Kaho hid a smile.
From her kimono, Kaho produced a bell-like object. "When you hear this bell ring the moment your child is born, you must give me the baby." Th man did not want to give the child, but Kaho's smile was so powerful he was completely undone. He agreed and went off with rapunzel in his hand.
The moment the child was born, they heard the bell tinkling in the night. Kaho came to their doorstep and reluctantly, they gave her the child. "I'll name her...Rapunzel," Kaho said.
"Umm...excuse me." Sonomi appeared by the door. "But would it be much of a favor if you retain her name: Tomoyo? Rapunzel kinda...sucks, you know.."
"Oh all right! Whims..." Kaho named the child Tomoyo and she grew up to be the loveliest child under the sun. When she was around 16, the witch carried her to the woods and shut her in a tower, because she can't believe this child grew to be more beautiful than she is. Insecure, Kaho made the tower without door nor stairs, and the opening was only a window at the top.
One day, Kaho was briging food to Tomoyo when she realized...how the hell will she get up to the tower. She called out to Tomoyo and said, "Tomoyo, Tomoyo! Let down your long black hair."
There was a slight rustle and Tomoyo looked out of the window. "Oh for heaven's sake, old witch," she retorted. "Can't you just climb up here by yourself?"
"Let down your hair or I won't bring you dinner!" Kaho threathened and Tomoyo, for fear of not having to eat, let down her long, curly, dark hair and allowed the witch to climb, with much difficulty. Soon, Kaho grew tired of climbing up and down Tomoyo's hair like that. She wan't really trained for extreme sports. She just therefore carries a ladder with her and takes it with her as she leaves to make sure Tomoyo cannot escape.
Two years later, a sorcerer disguised as a common student at Tomoeda High walked through the forest. As he passed by the tower, he heard te loveliest voice singing so sweetly that he had to stop and listen. The sorcerer longed to see the owner of the voice, but the tower had no entrance to it, so he just went home. Still, he came every day to listen to the voice.
One day, the prince was standing behind a tree, listening to the wonderful voice when a woman arrived at the foot of the tower and called. "Oi, Tomoyo! I forot my ladder, bring down your hair."
"I can't old witch!" came the reply.
Kaho, furious at being called old, called out again. "Who are you fooling? Come here and let your hair down or I'll hit you wit this bell!"
The young man heard muttering and then, long strands of black hair was brought down. Kaho climbed it again with much diffificulty. "Ah, so that's how to do it," the young man whispered to himself.
The next day, he waited for the witch to go down (he was surprised she brought a ladder with her) and went at the foot of the tower and cried. "Tomoyo, please bring down you hair!"
"Oh, that damn old hag," came a voice above and Tomoyo looked down. She was surprised to see somebody else aside from the witch visit her. "Oh, how rude of me...umm..you don't happen to have a ladder, sir?"
"No, I don't have. Can't I just climb up your hair?" he asked. "My name is Eriol, by the way."
"Uh...well, I can do the "letting down my hair" thing, but it kind of hurts me on the scalp. I mean, with that heavy witch clinging to it two times." Tomoyo sighed. "But..."
"Hey wait, I got an idea." Eriol called himself stupid in his thoughts for forgetting that he was a sorcerer after all. He let his wand materialize on his hand and bade himself to float in the air. Amidst Tomoyo's gasps of surprise, Eriol flew towards the window and entered it. "Hello," he greeted.
"Hello," came Tomoyo's reply.
"May I know your name?" he asked courteously as he looked around. From the outside, the tower looked so desolate, but actually inside, was a TV, a piano, a four-canopy bed, and even a dresser with feminine things on it.
"I'm Tomoyo, but that old hag likes calling me Rapunzel. Imagine naming me after a vegetable," she said, sighing rather heavily at the last part. "So, how did you come here, and why did you come to visit me?"
"I was walking in the woods when I heard your voice," Eriol admitted. After many hours of talking, they found out that they liked each other. Eriol decided that he loved her already and asked for her hand in marriage.
Tomoyo thought for a while. This young sorcerer was handsome, smart, plus, he could play the piano. [I'll be better off off with him than with that old scrawny witch.] So she answered yes. "But, I can't climb down from the tower."
"Ah, that's easy," he said. "I'll enchant a carpet for you so it can fly. Then I can fetch you and run away."
"Oh, okay." Ad it was agreed that they talk of their plan every evening, since Kaho just comes by day.
However, Kaho was having her suspicions. She watched the tower day and night and found out about the young man who can float in the air and reach the window. Angered, she went up to the tower and confronted Tomoyo. "How dare you do mischief while I am gone?" she accussed. "Is that the normal behavior of an eighteen year old girl?"
"But, old witch, he is really a good man. He's kind, generous, can play the piano..."
Kaho grew more and more angry that she cut off Tomoyo's hair short. "That will teach you a lesson." She took Tomoyo out of the tower into the deeper part of the forest and stayed there. The witch then came back, climbed the tower and waited for the handsome young sorcerer.
Night came and it did not fail. Eriol came floating towards the window, but what he saw was not Tomoyo but a red-hared woman waiting for her. "Good evening, Eriol," she greeted.
"Good evening...where's Tomoyo?" Eriol asked the witch.
"Oh, I'm afraid she ran off somewhere. I'm up here looking for her, too," she answered, obvioulsy lying.
Eriol knew something was wrong. "Um...so..."
"She's gone, from the looks of it," Kaho said. "Why don't you come with me and join me for a cup of tea?" She gave Eriol her sweetest smile.
Erio was supposed to nod when something in his pocket rang. He pulled out a cellphone and answered it. "Oh hello, Tomoyo! You used the phone I gave you...uh..what? This woman carried you to a deep part of the forest? Ok, I'll be with you in a moment." He hang up and looked at Kaho. "What did you do to her?"
"Tomoyo is gone, Eriol." Kaho was mad Tomoyo outwitted her again. "But you can come with me and..."
"Sorry," Eriol said as he started to get out of the window. "I have no interest with older women."
He floated off the tower and ran to the forst to look for Tomoyo. He found her near a lake, asleep. At last, he was able to carry her off to his country and marry her.
Kaho went back to rapunzel-raising business, enticing parents to give her their children, hoping that the child would be a boy.
Tomoyo's father and mother were reunited with her. Soon, Tomoyo and Eriol owned the largest toy factory in the country.
And of course, Eriol and Tomoyo lived happily ever after.
-The End-
AUTHOR'S NOTES: So...how was it ^^;; I know, I know..it's stupid, but I can't help it. LOL! Please send me a review and tell me if I should do more parodies, I have about three more stories lined up ^^;;; Give me encouragement if you tihnk it's wirth reading, it, ok?