Alright, so, this is crack. I seem to be uploading that a lot lately. Probably causes of working night shift hours. ANYWAYS, this story is not meant to be taken seriously. Just so you know before hand.
Although anyone with an ounce of logic would have probably figured that out not even halfway through.
Enjoy!

The Enterprise was flying at a steady pace, heading towards its next mission. Kirk was sitting in his chair, watching the view screen. Lt. Sulu was at the helm, and Chekov was navigating. It was dead silent, as everyone was working intently.

The silence was suddenly interrupted.
"Oh my!" Sulu exclaimed, looking very pleased.
Everyone looked to him, confused. Kirk glanced from the helmsman to the screen, expecting to see something that would cause the unexpected outburst. Only stars.

"Scott to Bridge!"
Kirk pressed a button on his chair. "Kirk here"
"Captain, one of the Ensigns disappeared! She was beamin' down ta the planet, when the transporter malfunctioned! Sir, I think she might be dead! And I felt the oddest sensation…"
Kirk frowned, but kept his eyes on the view screen.
"Who… was it?" he asked.
"I'm na sure, Captain… I… can'na remember her name" Scotty said, sounding somewhat ashamed of himself. "But there's no trace of her, she's gone!"
Kirk smiled smugly "Oh yes… that's… nice…" He mumbled.
"Captain?" Scotty asked.

There was a sudden loud clatter as Spock's chair fell to the floor. He'd stood up quickly, and was trying very hard not to look bewildered.
"Mr. Spock?" Kirk asked.
Spock turned and looked at everyone, all of which were staring back in puzzlement.
"I felt something, Captain" Spock said calmly as he placed his hands behind his back
"Felt…what?" Kirk asked.
Spock hesitated. "I'd rather not say, Captain."

The bridge doors flew open as McCoy walked in. He opened his mouth to speak, but instead stopped dead in his tracks, looking stunned, and deeply baffled.
"What the devil!" He asked, looking down at himself.
"It would seem…. We're all feeling the same thing.." Kirk said, as he looked to Spock, then to Sulu, and finally at McCoy.
"Oh!" Chekov yelped. "I just felt it too, Keptin!"
"What…. Could it be?" Kirk mumbled to himself.
"Maybe that Ensign is inwisable!" Chekov suggested "I think shes inwisable."

Kirk stood up from his chair. "Spock, McCoy. We'll…. have to…discuss this…. more privately." Kirk said, looking around the bridge, as if hoping to catch a glimpse of the invisible girl.
The three commanding officers made their way to the Turbolift.
"Deck 5" Kirk said.
The Turbolift made its way to the proper deck. Kirk led Spock and McCoy to his cabin. He sat down at his desk and put his feet up.
Spock suddenly jumped back from where he'd been standing, looking very annoyed now. McCoy smirked "What's the matter, Spock?"
"Logic would dictate that the Ensign has followed us to the Captain's cabin" Spock explained. He quickly sat down in one of the extra chairs , then began to pull books from beside him, covering his lower regions with them. "Science will protect me" He said, looking close to tears.

McCoy raised an eyebrow at the Vulcan. "Just what the hell is going on, Jim?" he asked, looking over at Kirk.
"A female Ensign has become invisible, and is apparently using her new found ability to…. Feel up everyone on the ship." Kirk explained, trying not to grin.
"We have to stop it!" Spock exclaimed. "Now!"
"Well I don't see the rush, " Kirk said, smiling
they both looked to McCoy, who was seemed to be in a daze, as he was grinning, with an eyebrow raised to max level.
"I don't really see a problem…" He said finally.
"We must stop it!" Spock yelled.
Kirk sighed "Alright.. we'll head back to the Bridge and find ways to locate where she is exactly. Perhaps we can…. Restrain her to one area… until we find a cure.
McCoy smirked "I have a pretty great idea of where she is right this moment.."
Spock looked at the doctors pants and frowned as he saw they were moving on their own. He grabbed yet another book and placed it on top of the books already on his lap.

The three men, and one invisible lady, made their way back to the Bridge, Spock moving briskly, and seeming to serpentine, in order to avoid any more fondling.

Everyone on the bridge looked to the door as the three men walked back onto the bridge.
"Alright, we need to…. find ways to track this girl." Kirk said as he made his way to his chair
Spock hurried to his station and began to work avidly.
McCoy stood near the door still, grinning to himself. "Jim, I know where she is again-"
He stopped speaking as the girl in question suddenly popped into visibility. Both her hands were cupped around McCoys crotch, and she was grinning stupidly.
Everyone looked at her, very taken aback and wide-eyed. McCoy still grinned.

The girl noticed and stood up straight, letting go of McCoy.
"Ensign Davidson." Kirk said, raising an eyebrow.
"Sorry sir" She said quickly
"That's quite alright, Ensign. I would have done the same thing" Kirk said, then chuckled.

Spock burst into tears.
Sulu turned back in his chair and looked at the girl. "Oh….My." He said, looking very disgusted.