Long Live
Hijinks and Hilarity
Long live the walls we crashed through
All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
September 2013
"Rachel you have been in there forever, I have to do my hair too," Kurt called impatiently.
"I'm applying my lip gloss," Rachel retorted tartly. "Just give me another minute and you can come in."
Kurt waited, tapping his foot impatiently.
A minute later, as promised, Rachel breezed out of the bathroom, long hair flowing gracefully, her lips appropriately glossy.
Kurt raced inside and started looking for his things.
"Where is my hair dyer?" Kurt called anxiously. "I cannot show up to work in thirty minutes with hair like this!"
Both Santana and Rachel appeared in the doorway, grinning mischievously.
"I wonder where Porcelain's hair dyer could be, Berry?" Santana asked Rachel idly.
"I just don't know. My mind is too busy thinking about my classes for today. Oh and there's something else, but I'm just not sure what," Rachel replied musingly.
"I think I know what you're trying to remember," Santana remarked. "Are you still busy being upset about Kurt yelling at us the other morning? Because I am. And now he's yelling again. I mean really, he wanted the bathroom to be clean, and now that we've cleared everything up he's still complaining."
"That's exactly what my mind is preoccupied with," Rachel agreed. "We just can't win."
They both shook their heads sadly, and were preparing to leave the spluttering Kurt when Brody appeared.
"No, you can't win," Brody announced. "Here you go, Kurt. We men have to stick together."
"Well, that wasn't very charming," Santana muttered. "Berry, I suggest you withhold all privileges until he swears allegiance to you."
"Nice idea, but I don't think it will work. I mean, you've seen his chest. It's rather hard to think about giving that up," Rachel said with chagrin.
"You'll come up with something," Santana said comfortingly. "Or we will. Anyway, I've got to get going. Even though it's so much closer to AMDA now, living here, I am still always running late."
Rachel chuckled, and parted with Santana and went into her room, the room she shared with Brody.
In the bathroom Kurt could be heard grumbling to himself, "Yeah, it's great living on the Upper East Side, and I know we're so lucky to have this apartment for this price, and everything is so close by, Central Park is a ten minute walk, but, why, why, why, do we only have one bathroom?"
Usually they all managed with having one bathroom, they all kept such different schedules and were out of the apartment so much that it was okay. The morning was really the only rush hour, and occasionally things got a little tense then.
Kurt, Brody, Santana and Rachel had all moved in together several months before, at the end of May. Rachel and Brody had wanted to live together for the next year at NYADA, and it made sense to move in before the summer. There was no way Rachel was leaving Santana and Kurt behind in Brooklyn, and it was easier with four contributing for rent, so the decision had been made for them to all live together.
They had to furnish the apartment themselves, and as of yet, it was fairly sparsely decorated. It had enough furniture to be functional, but not nearly enough to meet Kurt's artistic desires. But furniture cost money, and that meant that Kurt had to set aside money for the purpose of decorating, if that's what he wanted.
Kurt was still working at Vogue, as an intern, and he was doing so well there that Isabelle had mentioned the idea of him advancing from being an intern, to being one of her assistants.
Brody and Rachel were both back at NYADA, and it was the beginning of the second week. Both were enjoying their classes, particularly Rachel as she no longer was learning dancing under Cassandra July.
Santana was back at AMDA as well, and she had thoroughly enjoyed her first semester there, and had made quite a name for herself among the student body already.
As Kurt had mentioned, their new apartment was in the Upper East Side, and they'd managed to secure it for an astounding price. As Kurt had said, it was a ten minute walk to Central Park, as well as a ten minute walk to NYADA. Santana had a little further to go, but it was much closer than when they had lived at Brooklyn. Vogue was also much closer for Kurt to get to, which was a plus for the many early starts and late finishes he often had. There were many restaurants, cafes and shops near by that the four frequented, and of course the Times Square district was not far off, and it was a popular spot for them too. Especially as Brody was still in Motown. He had gone to only playing the role part time when school had gone back, and he would probably give the role up altogether once his understudy was fully settled into the role.
By nine that evening, all four occupants of the apartment where home for the night. Motown had Mondays off, so Brody had Rachel had been back since their classes had finished late afternoon, as had Santana. The three of them had made dinner together, the girls operating under Rachel's instruction.
Rachel had made her own small pot of vegan chilli, while Santana and Brody had attended to the meat eaters fare.
At one point during their preparation, Brody had left the kitchen to go to the bathroom, then returned to find both girls with their heads together over the larger pot.
They looked distinctly suspicious.
"What are you two up to?" Brody asked suspiciously.
They had looked up guiltily, and Santana quickly hid a small container.
"Nothing at all," Rachel said innocently.
"Yet," Santana added in a sinister undertone.
"Right," Brody had replied dubiously, and they had returned to cooking peacefully.
So when Kurt had arrived just before nine, they had set out dinner, and at nine they were all just sitting down to eat.
Rachel, Brody, Santana and Kurt all took their first mouthfuls of their meals at the same time, and while the first three swallowed without incident, Kurt's face started to turn bright red.
His eyes bulged and began to water, he began to splutter and reached for the nearby pitcher of water and started guzzling from it.
Santana and Rachel pretended not to notice and kept eating. Brody was looking at Kurt in concern and at the girls in suspicion.
"What did you two do?" Brody demanded in amusement.
Instead of answering, Rachel and Santana started laughing uproariously.
Once Kurt could speak he asked, over the girls' laughter, "What did you two do to my chilli?"
"Nothing. It's exactly that, chilli," Santana answered with a wicked glint in her eyes.
"Lots and lots of chilli," Rachel added serenely.
"You spike my chilli with chilli!" Kurt exclaimed. "Satan, you are evil, and you have corrupted Rachel! Is this for this morning?"
"Yep," they chorused.
"So why didn't Brody get pranked, or punished, too?" Kurt asked.
"Yeah, why didn't I?" Brody asked nervously.
"I wouldn't do that to you," Rachel said sweetly.
"Besides, getting you both with the same prank would be no fun," Santana remarked.
"So, I should be on my guard?" Brody asked warily.
"Maybe, maybe not, that's all part of the fun," Rachel answered with a grin. "For now, just eat your chilli."
"And what I am supposed to do?" Kurt demanded.
"There's unspoiled chilli in the pot," Rachel supplied, before she and Santana started laughing again, provoked by Kurt stomping off to get his dinner.
"You three are constantly changing my thoughts on roommates," Brody said with rueful amusement.
The next evening found a different combination of the roommates at the apartment.
Brody was doing an evening performance in Motown and would be home some time before eleven.
Kurt had got off work at a normal time and had been home for several hours before Rachel and Santana. Santana had been at work, she had another job at a café close to their apartment. Rachel had been at a rehearsal for Ever After. She had had an audition in the summer and had been given the lead, the part of Danielle. It was an off Broadway show, in a small theatre, but it was still the lead, and Rachel was very proud of herself. The show was opening in December and would run for three months to start with.
Rachel and Santana arrived home together, just before eight.
They walked into the apartment to hear Kurt whistling I'm The Greatest Star jovially.
He smiled at them and said, "Hey, how was work?"
"I hate customers," Santana said grumpily.
"My director yelled at me for five straight minutes because I wasn't looking emotionally connected enough," Rachel grumbled.
Kurt grinned gleefully, perceiving that their moods were going to make what was in store for them even better.
"What are you so happy about?" Santana asked irritably. "Never mind, I'm getting out of these work clothes and into something comfy."
"And I'm finding the first hoodie of Brody's that I can to put on," Rachel seconded. "And some of my soft sweats."
Kurt watched them go, anxiously awaiting the reactions that he was sure were to come.
He settled down onto the couch, a glass of wine in hand, a fashion magazine open on his lap.
A few minutes later Santana yelled, "Kurt Elizabeth Hummel!"
"Yes?" Kurt replied in a sing-song voice.
"Get in here!" Santana bellowed.
Kurt 'got'. Rachel appeared hot on his heels too, wearing a hoodie of Brody's and she was still wearing her own stockings.
"What's going on Santana?" Rachel asked.
"Look!" Santana said, pointing angrily to her closet.
Rachel looked and gasped.
"Where are all your clothes? What are all of those doing in there?" Rachel asked in confusion. "Wait, Kurt."
Rachel turned around and rushed out, headed for her bedroom.
Santana followed at a quick pace too, and was there in time for Rachel to throw open the closet doors and to see that Rachel's own clothes were all gone too. In their place where many, many, reindeer sweaters, daggy plaid skirts and an assortment of knee high socks, charmingly and prominently displayed.
"Kurt! Why?" Rachel said in a hurt and frustrated tone.
Kurt was standing in the doorway, leaning on the doorjamb, surveying his handy work.
Santana and Rachel looked at one another then as one said suddenly, "The chilli."
"The chilli," Kurt echoed succinctly.
"But the chilli was pay back for you yelling at us about the hairbrush, which was pay back for you yelling at us about the bathroom, and the bathroom was just us being us, so you shouldn't have yelled at us," Rachel reasoned. "So, you shouldn't have stolen our clothes and replaced them with this vile stuff."
"But Rach, all of those things were once a favourite part of your wardrobe," Kurt said innocently. "I thought you might want to revisit that era."
"Never," Rachel said firmly. "And you know it."
"And now that Rachel's been reasonable, I'm taking the threatening stance. Return our clothes or else. And how did you even manage to replace all of our things with all of those things? And where are our things?" Santana asked, her tone annoyed.
"Well, your things are safe, and will be returned once we draw up a truce for the current prank war. I managed to buy those things, which you will be forced to wear until you sign the treaty, with the company card. Bobby, who helped me come up with my master plan, decided we would be fairly safe to use the card, then return the stuff, unworn, on the card. He didn't understand why anyone would want to wear any of that stuff," Kurt said, obviously in agreement with Bobby's assessment.
"I've never worn overalls with plaid shirts!" Santana exclaimed. "I've always dressed like a hot bitch."
"True enough point," Kurt allowed.
"Fine, we'll sign the treaty," Rachel said with a huff. "I'm kind of tired of this stupid war anyway. I am however, building an agreement into the treaty. You're not allowed to yell at us whenever you don't like something. Just talk to us nicely, and we'll talk nicely to you."
As the three of them were sitting around the table, after formalising their treaty, which was going to be framed and hung on the wall, Santana asked, "Why do you think we didn't have any trouble like this in Brooklyn, but we do now?"
"I think maybe because we're so use to each other now. Before we were careful to be nice, accommodating, try not to step on each others' toes. But now we're so use to one another we sort of fight like siblings. There are also habits I guess we're pretty tired of by now too," Rachel reasoned accurately.
"Brody must think we're nuts," Santana said with a chuckle.
"Or he will when he sees our treaty, written on music staff paper," Kurt remarked ruefully.
"He still does deserve some sort of punishment for siding with Kurt, though," Santana commented.
"Even I agree with that, and he was siding with me," Kurt agreed.
"So we'll come up with a plan, but it can't be long lasting," Rachel decided.
When Brody got home from the theatre the apartment was dark and there was no sign of any of his roommates. They had all gone to bed fairly early, and there was no sign of any of the mischief they had been up to. The only visible remnants of their evening were shopping bags filled with clothing, clothing Kurt would be returning the next day, and of course the newly drawn up 'treaty'.
Brody looked at the bags and noticed nothing out of the ordinary, there were often shopping bags lying around owing to the habits of his roommates. The treaty however made him chuckle and then he headed straight to his bedroom, careful not to disturb Rachel, who he assumed was already sleeping.
Brody put his things away, went and showered then slipped into bed beside Rachel, circling his arms around her and holding her close.
"Night beautiful," Brody murmured.
"Hey," Rachel replied sleepily.
"No, goodnight," Brody retorted in amusement.
"No, no, how was tonight?" Rachel asked through heavy lids.
"Great, but we can talk about it tomorrow. I've got a matinee performance and I'll be home by five. We can have some alone time then. Just go back to sleep," Brody ordered gently.
Rachel happily complied, snuggling into his chest and fell back into a deep sleep.
In accordance with their plans, Rachel arrived home late on Wednesday afternoon to find Brody already there, and Santana and Kurt not due back for at least an hour.
Rachel walked in the door, went straight to her room and set her things down.
"Brody?" Rachel called.
"I'm on the couch!" Brody called.
Rachel kicked her shoes off and said, "Alright, I'll be there in a moment. How was today's performance? And last night's?"
Rachel walked down the hall and headed for the living room.
"Last night went really well, but we lost a member of the dance ensemble. She sprained an ankle during the second act," Brody replied.
"Oh, that's not good," Rachel said sympathetically.
Then she stopped short, she'd arrived in the living room, looked at the couch, and noticed her boyfriend.
"Brody!" Rachel exclaimed with a shocked giggle. "You're naked! And you have a rose in your mouth."
"Yes, I'm just enjoying being alone in the freedom of my own home," Brody said roguishly. "In fact, I very much recommend you enjoy it with me. Taking off all your clothes is great for relaxing."
"Feeling like testing out the couch springs again?" Rachel asked with twinkling eyes.
"I'm always up for that," Brody said.
"Oh my God, you did not just make that pun," Rachel said, groaning in amusement.
Brody just grinned at her.
"Well, I think you are right though, enjoying the freedom of your own home is very important," Rachel remarked, standing and beginning to take her shirt off. "However, I think I'm going to enjoy my freedom in the kitchen."
With that she turned and walked off, dropping her shirt of the floor.
Brody jumped off the couch and eagerly followed.
He watched as Rachel stopped midway to the kitchen and dropped her skirt to the floor. She continued to the kitchen, clad in only her bra and panties.
Brody caught up to her in the kitchen, grabbed her and pulled her to him, and kissed her heatedly, quickly reaching behind her and unclasping her bra.
"You're freakishly good at doing that," Rachel remarked, her breath already a little laboured.
Brody merely kissed her again, hoisting her up so that she was on the bench top, so that the gap in their height would be lessened.
Rachel hooked her legs around Brody, pressing into him, kissing him intensely.
"Kitchen bench, best idea," Brody said throatily, nibbling on her ear.
"I know," Rachel agreed wickedly.
Soon Rachel's panties were lying on the floor, and there was definitely no more conversation.
Ten minutes later the kitchen door opened, a horrified shriek was heard, then Kurt exclaimed, "Oh my sweet lord in heaven!"
Kurt clapped a hand over his eyes and backed out of the kitchen, thoroughly traumatised.
"This is why you two have a bedroom!" Kurt yelled.
Brody and Rachel stopped their activity, both rather embarrassed, Rachel particularly so.
"Just go to your room, Kurt!" Rachel pleaded.
"Oh I will," Kurt called back. "And wash my eyes out, or something."
Rachel rested her head on Brody's chest for a moment.
"Somehow I don't quite feel like finishing here anymore," Rachel remarked.
"No," Brody agreed. "I feel rather dirty. I think a shower is in order."
"That I can manage," Rachel agreed fiendishly.
When Santana arrived home forty-five minutes later and entered the kitchen her nose caught a strong whiff of disinfectant.
"Who has the sudden urge to clean?" Santana asked, walking into the living room. "I cleaned thoroughly on Saturday."
Brody and Rachel both smothered a giggle, though Rachel turned red as well. Kurt glared at them both.
"Let's just say you want that bench to be very clean. I wish my eyes and mind could be fixed just as easily," Kurt said painfully.
Santana caught on easily and laughed loudly.
"Oh, living here is so much fun," she chortled.
The week continued, and when Friday rolled around it found the apartment empty for the evening. Friday had often found the Brooklyn apartment empty the year before as Kurt, Rachel and Santana had tended to go out, either to Callbacks, to another club, on dates, occasionally to see Brody in Motown and sometimes Kurt went out with friends from work. They were starting off the new school year in the same fashion, with the apartment empty for the whole Friday night.
Brody was doing a performance of Motown and Kurt, Rachel and Santana were at Callbacks, their first trip of the fall.
Therefore, none of them arrived home until well after midnight, and they were all fairly tipsy. It was never hard to find people to buy them drinks. There were many guys happy to buy for Rachel and Santana, and Kurt also attracted his fair share of guys, NYADA of course having a decent 'gay population'.
When they got home, the lights were on, and they could hear the shower running.
"I guess Brody beat us back," Santana remarked. "Oh! Hey! Did you happen to put that prank into action yet?"
"Yes I did," Rachel said proudly. "I actually did it before I left for school this morning, so this will be the first chance it has to work."
"Oh, I so hope it works," Kurt said, rubbing his hands together in delight. "I need a new image of Brody to replace the last memorable one fixed in my mind."
"I said I was sorry about that Kurt," Rachel said seriously.
"I know, I know, sorry doesn't wipe my mind though," Kurt said sadly.
"Listen, the shower has stopped," Santana announced.
"Well, according to the instructions, we should have a result in about fifteen minutes," Rachel remarked.
"Who wants a snack while we wait?" Kurt asked, heading for the kitchen.
The three of them were munching on cookies in the kitchen when Brody appeared, dressed in pyjama pants and a t-shirt.
Rachel, Kurt and Santana all started howling with laughter.
"What?" Brody asked in confusion.
"Oh nothing," Santana said through her laughter.
"Smile Brody," Kurt instructed, whipping out his iPhone to take a photo.
This indicated to Brody that he should find a mirror, and fast.
He headed for the floor length mirror in his and Rachel's room and stared at his appearance in horror.
His hair was blue, smurf blue.
He turned around to see Rachel, Kurt and Santana grinning at him.
"Remember how you sided with Kurt on Monday?" Rachel asked sweetly. "Well, that was a reminder not to. You might want to wear a wig to work tomorrow. The dye pack said the colour will wash out within a week."
"You're so lucky I love you," Brody grumbled.
"I love you too, even though you have blue hair. It does nothing for your complexion," Rachel retorted naughtily.
Half an hour the apartment was dark and quiet, its occupants sleeping after a busy week of work and play.
AN: Well, I hope you enjoyed that! If you did, let me know :)
If you want more, review! I'll post the next chapter after 5 reviews :)