A TORN HEART
Chapter 1
Author's Note: This story picks up on New Year's Eve of 2017 while Sam and Jason are stuck on the Haunted Star and Drew races to her the lives of these three people are about to implode and Sam must face what is in her heart. I will state that this story is not a romanticized version of Jasam nor is it all in favor of Dream, but it is about the true struggle and reality I think Sam must reconcile to move forward with her life. I may continue if there is interest so please review and give me constructive feedback. For those that follow me on my other stories I have not given up those, but I will say that I will not be continuing my forever love of Jasam. Finally I do not own these characters of the stories that brought them to life. Enjoy!
At the stroke of midnight Sam and Jason are flooded with memories of their life together and swept away in the moment. Jason reaches up and brushes her cheek with his hand with Sam gazing in his piercing blue eyes and in that moment both of them feel torn with one foot in the past and the other in the present as Jason leans in to kiss her Sam jets her hand to his chest to try and put some distance between them. She quickly turns from him and Jason catches her wrist with his hand trying to turn her back to him with tears streaming down her face he takes his other hand to pull her into him. They hug briefly and as Sam pulls back she realizes that the love they shared is in the past, but what she feels now for him in this moment she can't quite decipher. She starts to speak and he raises his finger her lips and says "We never needed a bunch of words before, just be with ME, HERE and NOW please?"
Sam tries to calm herself, but her heart feels completely torn in two, yet being with Jason watching the fireworks and feeling his arms around her she can't stop her heart from racing. "Jason, I can't do this with you and certainly not like this. I've made promises to Drew and built a life with him, we have a beautiful daughter and he loves Danny and Jake like they were his own and he did that without hesitation. How can I turn my back on the past 3 years?"
Sam breaks the hold she was in being in Jason's arms and places both of her hands on the railing and tries to steady her breathing. "Sam, I can't imagine how hard this is on you and I've tried to keep my distance and respect the life you've built without me. I realized tonight that by stepping aside I'm letting what I really truly want pass me by and that is you and OUR family that was stolen from us. I know that you felt something a few moments ago and it wasn't just our past it is here with us and between us and I'm going to fight for it. If I've learned anything through this mess is that happiness and love are precious and you never know when it might be taken from you and I'm no longer going to sit by and watch my life play out I'm going to grab on and pull it close and never let go again." Jason puts his hands on her shoulders and Sam feels as though her knees will buckle from the mere weight of his words.
Sam turns around and faces him looking into the welling tears forming in his eyes finally seeing the man that she loved for so long and thought she could never do without. "Anyone ever tell you that you have lousy timing?" Sam gently brushes her hand on his cheek. Jason smirks a little and takes her hand from his face and kisses her cheek. "I'll wait Sam, but know this, WE, you and I are not done not by a long shot and we both know it. We have a lot to work through and talk about, but tonight I want to put that all aside and just enjoy being with you because I've missed you in ways words could not describe."
Sam can't help, but be transfixed by his stare and everything in her is telling her to run. That's the part of the problem is that she's been running from these feelings and him and right now she can't understand why. Jason brushes that errant hair from her face and Sam's breath catches and gasps a bit. Jason puts his hand out and whispers to her ear "Dance with me?"
Sam smiles a little and puts her hand in his "I'll try to not step on your toes." Jason chuckles a little and says "thankfully for my own protection I have steel-toed boots on tonight and it's not like I really minded before."
Sam leans her head against his chest and finally hears his heart beating, that heart she coveted for so long and the countless times she was lulled to sleep by it.
Drew runs to the dock and glances up to the sky to catch the last of the fireworks and a movement on the boat captures his attention. In that very moment Drew's heart is literally breaking as he sees Jason and Sam dancing. He sees the look on Sam's face and realizes that he is not the only man she loves and it washes over him like he is beginning to drown in this reality. Drew glances around scanning for a way to get to her and protect their love and suddenly he sees a small row boat tethered to the dock and with his heart breaking he surges forward and quickly unties the rope while gently easing himself into the boat. With each stroke along the water his heart is calling for her and his view is fixed on them dancing and he can't help, but to be caught in the worst waking nightmare with his brother's memories and knowing the life they shared and the love that was withstood so much. Drew starts to wonder and question slightly his place in this world and if the feelings this beautiful woman spoke to him time and time again and vowed to keep promises were truly to him or to the man she was embracing at this moment.
Drew was now within a close enough distance to the ship that if he screamed her name she would easily hear it even with the waves crashing against the side of the ship and fireworks off in the distance. Just as he was about to call out to her it happened just like that it was though all of the world fell away as he watched his brother, her husband lean in and gently kiss her lips. Drew stopped rowing and was sickened and dizzy, but he was caught in this daze almost like he couldn't will himself to look away a part of him needed to see this truth as much as it hurt. Then it became even more devastating as he watched her kiss him back.
Sam and Jason were bound in this intoxicating tangle of emotions and flashes of their life together and Jason couldn't help himself any longer he needed her like he needed to breathe. Jason cusped his hand to her jaw and leaned down to Sam and grazed her lips with his and it was as though he was brought back to life. His lips lingered on hers waiting for her response and what felt like ages his heart leapt from his chest when he felt her respond to him by kissing him back.
Sam felt like she was falling in that moment swept up with their past and having Jason back just like that fateful night of Emily and Nikolas' wedding when she drank a bit too much or maybe just enough to finally have the courage to follow her heart and kiss Jason. When she felt Jason's lips touch hers it was a mixture of relief and peace. She was transported to that moment of how dizzy his kiss made her feel and she clung to him and responded back with her own kiss until she felt HIM, not Jason it was Drew and she pulled back. She tried to get her footing again and catch her breath with a twisting of her gut wondering what the hell she was doing and she never imagined being in the situation of truly being torn between two loves.
Sam braced her hand on Jason's jacket and couldn't meet his eyes knowing that she couldn't begin to explain to him or Drew how she was feeling or what for the matter when she didn't even understand it herself.
Drew finally reached the boat and the two were still entangled in this silent dance and he guided himself up the ladder to the ship's deck near the front of the boat. He tied off the rope and steadied himself with the raging emotions telling himself that if he is going down he's not going down without one hell of a fight.
As Drew approaches Sam and Jason both locked in a silent dance lost to the world around them a squeak on the deck jolts the both of them back to reality and they lock eyes with Drew. Drew is seething with a fury of emotions at the both of them. He's been strung along before and lied to, but this kind of blatant betrayal is gut-wrenching. Drew takes a deep breath and tries his best to center his rabid emotions because he knows if he lashes out now there will be no hope for any future with Sam.
Drew locks eyes with Sam still hanging in Jason's arms and it is then that he sees it, really sees the truth in her eyes and he now feels that last shred of hope slipping away. Drew stuffs his fisting hands in his pockets and swallows the bile that has risen to his throat wondering how or what he can say at this moment to cover his crumbing faith and trust in her love.
"Sam, sorry I'm late I had some car trouble and I tried to get here as quickly as possible, but it seems I'm too late." Drew lets the words hang between them hoping and praying there would be an explanation for why his fiancé is dancing and kissing his brother, her back from the dead husband, and not concerned with where he has been or why he didn't make it to the Haunted Star.
Sam drops her hands from Jason and looks into his eyes as he nods to her to have some time with this and Drew because this mess seemingly just got a whole lot more complicated. Sam tries to take a step towards Drew and he almost flinches knowing that he's about to lose the last part of his heart and there was nothing he could say or do to fix it.
Sam reaches out to Drew and his eyes meet hers again with brimming tears about to burst free. "Drew…" is all Sam is able to utter with that sympathetic tone and care that he knows is her way of bracing him for the worst.
Drew hunches his shoulders back and takes a deep breath rubbing the bridge of his nose and jetting out his own hand to her "Don't, just don't do this here and now with HIM here. I think you owe me and us some privacy for this conversation."
Drew glances behind Sam to Jason and their eyes tangle from one brother to the other both surrounded by Jason's memories of his life with Sam, but that is the reality Drew didn't have that love with Sam Jason did and he really believed Sam when she told him he was her future. "As for you brother, I'm wondering why the hell you are here and dancing with my fiancé? I rented out the Haunted Star for Sam and I and you what were strolling along the dock and just happened to find Sam here?"
Before Jason can explain anything Drew stops him "You know what I shouldn't be surprised I mean this is your thing right secret rendezvous with women otherwise involved? How many times did you meet Elizabeth on these docks or at her art studio or the coffee shop without ever even considering how that would make Sam feel or for that matter what kind of message you were sending to Elizabeth?"
"Sam, I heard the pain in your voice of how this man hurt you and I know with his memories all of the awful betrayals he made in the name of protecting you or just his weak spineless ass. You begged him on NYE to come home and be with you and where was he Sam? I'll remind you he was too hell bent on revenge for his own bruised ego looking for Franco."
Sam gasped for air hoping that this situation wouldn't turn so dramatic so quickly and that she might get some time and space from both of them to sort her feelings out, but it seems this shit was hitting the fan right now.
"Drew, please let's go somewhere and talk so that I can try and explain" Sam raced to try and find some kind of grounding in this sinking abyss of her life with these two men and their hearts colliding at her.
"I'm pretty clear on what is going on and I have a front row seat to your love story thanks to Dr Maddox and whoever set this whole mess in motion. Sam, I told you I won't keep you where you don't want to be, but damn it we fought through so much to get what we have and I'm not giving that up easily. I'm not going to push you, but I'm certainly not going to step aside and watch you walk off into the sunset with HIM. Like I said I had a front row seat to your love story, but I also saw the pain and the anguish HE put you through and how much HE hurt you over and over again. No it wasn't intentional, but he still did it Sam. You sat there in that visitation room and told him he would never put you first and he didn't. He failed you Sam and no matter how many times he tries to say it or different ways the fact is Sonny and Carly will always come first. He wasn't here when you suffered through toxoplasmosis and nearly lost your life and look at him he's a living breathing nightmare, right back at Sonny's side taking orders. I fought for us Sam, I stood by you and it may have taken me a bit to get there, but once I was I NEVER wavered. Can you say the same for him?"
Drew ran in hands through his hair and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Sam had tears soaking her cheeks and was gasping for air as his words struck her at her very core. He was right it wasn't all good and love between her and Jason and so many times she tried to look past it or excuse it. She always told herself that their love was stronger because of all they had endured, but was it?