I was messaging trufflemores (wow what an original thing for me to be doing) and ended up writing reaction fic/a bit of headcanon. Go get your toothbrushes ready, and don't say I didn't warn you.
Blaine booted up Skype on his laptop, drumming his fingers quickly along the bottom of his keyboard as he waited for it to load. Kurt had texted him with "Hey, B, I've got a surprise for you! Get on Skype!" a couple minutes ago, and he was understandably curious as to what it could be.
"Please God don't let it be that he booked a Viagra commercial," Blaine said under his breath as he clicked on the call button next to Kurt's name and waited for the picture to load. He could hear a snapping noise as the picture focused, and once it was clear he saw that Kurt was snapping his fingers with a joking look of impatience, lounging on his bed in just his bathrobe.
"Took you long enough, Blaine. I could've written an entire libretto in the time it took you to get online!" Kurt said, obviously enjoying making fun of his fiance. Are my speakers going? Blaine wondered as Kurt talked, noting that his voice sounded odd.
"It's not my fault Skype takes forever to open! I think my iTunes takes up too much space," responded Blaine sheepishly. "Also, do you have a cold or something? Your voice sounds unclear."
"Not quite," said Kurt, voice still thick. He then scooted closer to his camera and stuck out his tongue.
Blaine had to lean in and squint a little to make out what Kurt was showing him. "Kurt! Is that...is that a tongue piercing?!" he spluttered, completely shocked.
"Do you not like it?" Kurt asked, sounding a little worried. "The guy threw it in free when he was fixing my tattoo and I wanted to be rebellious and throw caution to the wind but I also want you to be comfortable and-" he stopped himself, probably because Blaine's giggling was a little distracting.
"Baby, it's your body, you do whatever you want with it – short of like, mutilation or something," Blaine said, still smiling. Kurt's tendency to ramble when he got nervous would never stop being cute to him. "I was just surprised, that's all. Actually, I think it's kind of hot, and – wait, did you say fixing your tattoo? Am I having a really vivid dream right now?" Blaine felt his eyes widening in surprise and confusion, and could hear Kurt begin to have a giggle fit of his own.
"You look like Bambi right now, B," Kurt said through his laughter. "It's kind of adorable. And yes, I said fixing my tattoo. The first time I went, it didn't exactly turn out right."
"I've got to be asleep right now," Blaine said dazedly. "Any second now your face is going to morph into Adam Levine's or something, I just know it."
"No, honey, you're not dreaming," replied Kurt in his fondest patronizing tone. "Rachel talked me into it. Well, Rachel and the two shots of limoncello I downed beforehand."
"Rachel talked you into it? Our Rachel? Was she drunk, too?" Blaine questioned rapidly, trying to make sense of what Kurt was telling him. He thought Rachel would sooner denounce Streisand than get a tattoo.
"Well, yeah, she had had some too, but when we were sober she had said she wanted to be rebellious," Kurt said with a shrug. "Of course, she chickened out on me, so maybe she wasn't drunk enough."
"My fiance the rebel," Blaine said with a dreamy smile. "Are you gonna get a leather jacket and join a gang now? Maybe the Jets?" he teased, watching Kurt develop a look of exasperation. "Anyways, what did you get, baby?"
"I wanted to get 'It gets better,' but the booze kind of affected my ability to spell," Kurt started, sitting up to untie his robe as he talked. "So when I went back to complain, the artist and I ended up chatting, and he changed it to this." Once he finished talking, he turned his back to the camera, turning his head back toward the screen and angling his shoulderblade correctly.
"It's got Bette Midler," Blaine read out, brow furrowed in concentration from trying to make out the words over a grainy Skype connection. "I like it! It suits you."
Kurt faced his laptop properly again, laying down on his side and pulling the screen down to keep his face in the frame. "That's what I thought, too. And at least it's not on my ass or something, right?" He laughed after he finished talking.
"I'm very glad it's not on your ass," Blaine agreed, laughing along with Kurt. "I'd probably have some trouble concentrating if I saw that on your ass every time we-"
"Don't even go there, Blaine," Kurt interrupted. "That thought is horrifying," he said with a fake melodramatic shudder.
"You're ridiculous," Blaine said, still laughing. "You know what's more horrifying than that, though? Mr. Schue twerking." He mimicked Kurt's shudder, hearing Kurt break out into a fresh spate of giggles before he realized that Blaine wasn't joking.
"B, what happened to McKinley after I left?" he asked seriously. "It's like aliens have taken over."
"Well, you know that video of me that Tina sent you?" After Kurt nodded, he continued, "Mr. Schuester saw it and decided that we all needed to twerk to 'shed our America's Sweethearts image.' It only went downhill from there."
Blaine proceeded to tell the story of that week at school to Kurt, who laughed in all the appropriate places and told Blaine to tell Unique that he would call her soon, because he could relate to some of what she was going through.
"Wow, it's past eleven," Blaine said, having looked over at his alarm clock. "Don't you have work at like seven tomorrow, Kurt?" he asked, still looking away from his screen. When he didn't get a quick response, he looked back at his laptop to make sure Skype hadn't frozen.
The sight that came to him on the screen was absolutely precious. Kurt had fallen asleep next to his laptop, curled up slightly on his side with his face pillowed on his arms.
"Awww, baby," Blaine whispered fondly. He could feel himself smiling broader than he had all day. After taking a quick screenshot for posterity, he lifted his own laptop from his lap to put it next to him on Kurt's side of the bed. Kurt had mentioned that he'd been having bad dreams recently, so he figured he might leave Skype running that night, just in case.
Sure enough, Kurt started whimpering audibly around two in the morning, waking Blaine up and prompting him to sing softly into his microphone until Rachel came in to see what the noise coming from Kurt's room was. She got Kurt to roll over and quiet down without waking him fully, which Blaine appreciated. After she waved happily at Blaine, Rachel left again, and Blaine and Kurt settled back down to a peaceful sleep.
(Kurt woke up before Blaine the next morning, surprised that Skype was still running. After Rachel told him the events that transpired when he was asleep, he arranged a little surprise of his own for Blaine. Tina texted him later that Blaine's grin was unending when he came to a locker full of red and yellow roses that day at school, courtesy of Lima's best florist and Kitty's lock-picking abilities.)