Ok so first of all the stating of the obvious. I don't, never have and
never will own the X-Men. Got it? Good.
If there's some stuff you don't understand cos you call it something
different in another country (I've had LOADS of experience of this) somehow
tell me and I'll put a little translation thingy in the next chapter. If I
remember.
Welcome to the first load of incomprehensible rubbish that I've written! Ok
its not that rubbish, but if you get the story all the way through I think
you deserve a prize. Hint. DON'T TRY AND USE YOUR BRAIN DURING THIS COS IT
WONT WORK. I have a very odd imagination and this is just something I
started doing for no apparent reason. LET THE ODDNESS BEGIN!
THE X-MEN GO TO.
THE SEASIDE!
It was a bright and sunny day. In a bright and sunny state. In a bright and sunny country. In a bright and sunny continent. In a bright and sunny world. In a bright and sunny solar system. In a bright and sunny galaxy. In a bright and sunny universe. In a bright and sunny.whatever. Inside the Mansion House that self destructed a lot but got rebuilt in a couple of days (it's amazing the technology available now) a group of little ants were having supper. But that's not what this stories about.
The Masses: Aww!
Yes I know it's cruel, I am feeling quite inquisitive as to how the ants got on, but there is a far more interesting story out there. It follows the adventures of the X-Men as they go on a little pointless trip to the seaside. Why is it pointless? Well you don't need a reason to go to the beach.
We join them as they are told the scrumptious news whilst eating tea.
(The ants sound pretty good don't they)
"Wow! Doesn't the food taste even greater when you've cooked it yourself!" squealed Logan, his chef hat he bought for $10 still perched at a jaunty angle on his head.
"Not veally, ven I think of all ze effort we put into making this yummy food, it makes me almost not vant to eat it," sighed Kurt.
Everyone gave him shocked looking eyes, apart from Scott for obvious reasons, or maybe he did, hmm.I shall ponder on that. Ponder, ponder, ponder, ponder.(Ooh look! An echo!)
"Almost!" assured Kurt handing them back their eyes and proceeded to EAT EAT EAT!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(The BBC would like to apologise for that psychotic outburst)
Charles watched them tuck in, inwardly sad at the lack of help he had given the bunch of kids that lived in his house at cooking the food. No one thought of disabled people when they invented cooking. Especially not bald ones. It was dangerous with his shiny head and all the shiny pots, many people where temporarily blinded by the flashing lights once. He sighed and drooled a bit.
"Children! Children!" he said tapping a glass with his spoon, "children! It's time for me to tell you about your pointless trip this year!"
"Woohooo! Yay! Great! Yeeees! Jajajajajajaja!" screamed Rogue. Then she remembered that wasn't how she behaved and said, "woopee."
"Riiiiiiiiiiiight." said the Prof. as he stuck his little finger near his sumptuous lips and stroked a handy white Persian cat.
(DIE CAT DIE!)
(The BBC would like to apologise for that outburst as well)
"Er, did you just turn into Dr. Evil professor?" asked Scott.
"No son, no, now where's No. 2 Scotty boy?" asked Xavier.
"Hang on a sec," said Jean Jean Grey and threw a bucket of water at Charles.
"Thanks I needed that." Said Prof. X
"So where are we going on our pointless trip Charles?" asked Jean Jean.
"Well, I was thinking to.THE SEASIDE!"
"YAY!" they all yelled in unison, even Charles, why? WHY? WHY?
"Charles, why are we going to the seaside? Don't you get stuck in the sand?" asked JAMIE!*
"Why JAMIE, you brilliant TV presenter, it's because I have modified my wheelchair so it is now a...hovercraft!" answered Mr. Bald.
"Can we have a demo?" asked Logan.
"Why of course!" beamed Charles as his wheelchair shot straight up in the air and he shot of up the stairs singing odd songs that have no meaning unless you speak Lortuhgaf which you don't cos I just made that up.
"Bye Charles!" shouted everyone. Everyone. Maybe I should tell you who everyone is. Or maybe not cos I'll forget. Ok, everyone apart from the kids who appear in the background and are gone and then you forget their names is there. Yup. Apart from Storm cos I don't like her.
"Wow guys! We're going to the seaside! That is so like, great!" squealed Logan.
(Hah! You thought that was Kitty! Well it wasn't, and she isn't in this story either cos I don't like her. Hah!)
"Ya! I know what you mean hun!" said Beast.
(Ok, I'm in one of those moods)
"Like wow shall we get packed then?" whistled Logan. (AND WHY NOT!)
"Yes. Let us depart. Go forth and pack my fellow X-Men!" boomed Rogue.
"Woah Rogue! Did you just turn into a man!" asked Jean Jean.
"No puny mortal, not I!"
"Well guys, I have to go, I need to go and eat some baked beans and become the Kiwi Ranger!" said Jamie and he jumped out the window and flew away.
And so the X-Men ran off to pack. They packed the essentials. They packed the necessities. They packed a dictionary.
"La di dah!" sang Logan as he put his pink sarong in with his skirts. In his OTHER suitcase was his Logan clothes. Yeah. Tuff guy! Waay! Well 'ard!
"Oh Esmerelda, how your eyes sparkle no?" he said lovingly to his rubber ducky before tucking her in lovingly with Frederica and Theodore his little woolly sheep.
"Tut tut Logan." Said Kurt as he teleported in to get a, thing, from Logans room.
(I REALLY haven't thought this out)
"You should know that rubber ducks are banned on ze beach under ze new law after that unfortunate incident viz the rubber ducks and ze lifeguard."
"Aw shucks I forgot!" groaned Logan.
"FEEL THE LOVE BIG GUY!" cried Kurt as he hugged Logan.
"I love you baby!" said Logan.
"Woah, what happened there?" asked a confused and disorientated Kurt, "vun minute I vas getting the thing, then I'm hugging Logan, eek!" and he teleported off. Sounds of maniacal laughter came from Xaviers room as he swung around in his wheelchair/hovercraft. I think we know who was behind it kids. Yes we do!
And so the X-Men were ready in the correct clothing for an excursion to the seaside. They stood in line for inspection by a houseplant, but not just any houseplant, a TALKING houseplant!
"OK! I WILL GO THROUGH THE LIST! WHEN I GET TO YOU ON THE LIST YOU WILL SAY YES PLANT! AND I WILL INSPECT YOU. UNDERSTAND?"
"Yes Plant sir."
"Good. First up. Grey, Jean Jean."
"YES PLANT!"
"Ok Grey, Jean Jean, you look ready and prepared. Many of you here could take a leaf out of her book. Notice the Elton John glasses so she will blend right in with the crowd. Take your gaze down and look at her shoes. Oversized clown shoes. Very sensible. Legwear. Cycle shorts. Good choice. Top. Metal chest plate. You're sorted!"
Jean Jean beamed, it was the first time she was allowed to dress herself. And the houseplant approved! That made her year!
And so he went down the list, showing nothing but praise for most of the assembled kids apart from Beast, cos he aint a kid! Hah! Aren't I funny!
"Ok suddenly talking houseplant, are we ready?" asked Charles.
"Aye aye cap'n!"
"Good, then it shall start! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
To be continued.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Will they get to the beach? Will the houseplant ever get mentioned in this story again? Do they win the fashion award? Do you care? Find out..soon!
*It's not THAT Jamie, this is JAMIE the greatest TV presenter in the world! Friends of moi will know what I'm going on about even if no one else does!
I'm enjoying writing like a psycho( It's fun!
ADIOS!
FLY FISH FLY! GRAKKkkkKK!
THE X-MEN GO TO.
THE SEASIDE!
It was a bright and sunny day. In a bright and sunny state. In a bright and sunny country. In a bright and sunny continent. In a bright and sunny world. In a bright and sunny solar system. In a bright and sunny galaxy. In a bright and sunny universe. In a bright and sunny.whatever. Inside the Mansion House that self destructed a lot but got rebuilt in a couple of days (it's amazing the technology available now) a group of little ants were having supper. But that's not what this stories about.
The Masses: Aww!
Yes I know it's cruel, I am feeling quite inquisitive as to how the ants got on, but there is a far more interesting story out there. It follows the adventures of the X-Men as they go on a little pointless trip to the seaside. Why is it pointless? Well you don't need a reason to go to the beach.
We join them as they are told the scrumptious news whilst eating tea.
(The ants sound pretty good don't they)
"Wow! Doesn't the food taste even greater when you've cooked it yourself!" squealed Logan, his chef hat he bought for $10 still perched at a jaunty angle on his head.
"Not veally, ven I think of all ze effort we put into making this yummy food, it makes me almost not vant to eat it," sighed Kurt.
Everyone gave him shocked looking eyes, apart from Scott for obvious reasons, or maybe he did, hmm.I shall ponder on that. Ponder, ponder, ponder, ponder.(Ooh look! An echo!)
"Almost!" assured Kurt handing them back their eyes and proceeded to EAT EAT EAT!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(The BBC would like to apologise for that psychotic outburst)
Charles watched them tuck in, inwardly sad at the lack of help he had given the bunch of kids that lived in his house at cooking the food. No one thought of disabled people when they invented cooking. Especially not bald ones. It was dangerous with his shiny head and all the shiny pots, many people where temporarily blinded by the flashing lights once. He sighed and drooled a bit.
"Children! Children!" he said tapping a glass with his spoon, "children! It's time for me to tell you about your pointless trip this year!"
"Woohooo! Yay! Great! Yeeees! Jajajajajajaja!" screamed Rogue. Then she remembered that wasn't how she behaved and said, "woopee."
"Riiiiiiiiiiiight." said the Prof. as he stuck his little finger near his sumptuous lips and stroked a handy white Persian cat.
(DIE CAT DIE!)
(The BBC would like to apologise for that outburst as well)
"Er, did you just turn into Dr. Evil professor?" asked Scott.
"No son, no, now where's No. 2 Scotty boy?" asked Xavier.
"Hang on a sec," said Jean Jean Grey and threw a bucket of water at Charles.
"Thanks I needed that." Said Prof. X
"So where are we going on our pointless trip Charles?" asked Jean Jean.
"Well, I was thinking to.THE SEASIDE!"
"YAY!" they all yelled in unison, even Charles, why? WHY? WHY?
"Charles, why are we going to the seaside? Don't you get stuck in the sand?" asked JAMIE!*
"Why JAMIE, you brilliant TV presenter, it's because I have modified my wheelchair so it is now a...hovercraft!" answered Mr. Bald.
"Can we have a demo?" asked Logan.
"Why of course!" beamed Charles as his wheelchair shot straight up in the air and he shot of up the stairs singing odd songs that have no meaning unless you speak Lortuhgaf which you don't cos I just made that up.
"Bye Charles!" shouted everyone. Everyone. Maybe I should tell you who everyone is. Or maybe not cos I'll forget. Ok, everyone apart from the kids who appear in the background and are gone and then you forget their names is there. Yup. Apart from Storm cos I don't like her.
"Wow guys! We're going to the seaside! That is so like, great!" squealed Logan.
(Hah! You thought that was Kitty! Well it wasn't, and she isn't in this story either cos I don't like her. Hah!)
"Ya! I know what you mean hun!" said Beast.
(Ok, I'm in one of those moods)
"Like wow shall we get packed then?" whistled Logan. (AND WHY NOT!)
"Yes. Let us depart. Go forth and pack my fellow X-Men!" boomed Rogue.
"Woah Rogue! Did you just turn into a man!" asked Jean Jean.
"No puny mortal, not I!"
"Well guys, I have to go, I need to go and eat some baked beans and become the Kiwi Ranger!" said Jamie and he jumped out the window and flew away.
And so the X-Men ran off to pack. They packed the essentials. They packed the necessities. They packed a dictionary.
"La di dah!" sang Logan as he put his pink sarong in with his skirts. In his OTHER suitcase was his Logan clothes. Yeah. Tuff guy! Waay! Well 'ard!
"Oh Esmerelda, how your eyes sparkle no?" he said lovingly to his rubber ducky before tucking her in lovingly with Frederica and Theodore his little woolly sheep.
"Tut tut Logan." Said Kurt as he teleported in to get a, thing, from Logans room.
(I REALLY haven't thought this out)
"You should know that rubber ducks are banned on ze beach under ze new law after that unfortunate incident viz the rubber ducks and ze lifeguard."
"Aw shucks I forgot!" groaned Logan.
"FEEL THE LOVE BIG GUY!" cried Kurt as he hugged Logan.
"I love you baby!" said Logan.
"Woah, what happened there?" asked a confused and disorientated Kurt, "vun minute I vas getting the thing, then I'm hugging Logan, eek!" and he teleported off. Sounds of maniacal laughter came from Xaviers room as he swung around in his wheelchair/hovercraft. I think we know who was behind it kids. Yes we do!
And so the X-Men were ready in the correct clothing for an excursion to the seaside. They stood in line for inspection by a houseplant, but not just any houseplant, a TALKING houseplant!
"OK! I WILL GO THROUGH THE LIST! WHEN I GET TO YOU ON THE LIST YOU WILL SAY YES PLANT! AND I WILL INSPECT YOU. UNDERSTAND?"
"Yes Plant sir."
"Good. First up. Grey, Jean Jean."
"YES PLANT!"
"Ok Grey, Jean Jean, you look ready and prepared. Many of you here could take a leaf out of her book. Notice the Elton John glasses so she will blend right in with the crowd. Take your gaze down and look at her shoes. Oversized clown shoes. Very sensible. Legwear. Cycle shorts. Good choice. Top. Metal chest plate. You're sorted!"
Jean Jean beamed, it was the first time she was allowed to dress herself. And the houseplant approved! That made her year!
And so he went down the list, showing nothing but praise for most of the assembled kids apart from Beast, cos he aint a kid! Hah! Aren't I funny!
"Ok suddenly talking houseplant, are we ready?" asked Charles.
"Aye aye cap'n!"
"Good, then it shall start! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
To be continued.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Will they get to the beach? Will the houseplant ever get mentioned in this story again? Do they win the fashion award? Do you care? Find out..soon!
*It's not THAT Jamie, this is JAMIE the greatest TV presenter in the world! Friends of moi will know what I'm going on about even if no one else does!
I'm enjoying writing like a psycho( It's fun!
ADIOS!
FLY FISH FLY! GRAKKkkkKK!