Crutch
By Danii
Disclaimer: I own no one, nothing, and nada. Don't sue. I have nothing to take…
Distribution: Please take! Please! Just tell me AFTER you put it up, okay? With my name on it…
Dedication: To Ray Rivera, Lori Bush, Shawn, Michael, Nick, and all the really nifty people who have been giving my starving muse the feedback she needs!
Rating: R, for adult subjects, language, discussion of rape etc., and other assorted unpleasantness.
Feedback: Required for me to finish. I'm not blackmailing you, folks, it just makes it easier for me to write…
NOTE: I know I'm totally insane for starting this, but I figure I'll live.
And now:
I'm a much happier person then I used to be, and while most people would think that this is a bit strange considering the events that brought me to where I am now, I have to say that I really wouldn't have wanted it to turn out any other way.
Maybe the road was rough.
Maybe the path was hazy.
And maybe, just maybe, things would have turned out the same way if none of it had never happened, though I doubt that I would appreciate it as much if things hadn't gone the way they did.
But the important thing is that they did happen.
You see, I didn't like to depend on other people, and I guess that's why a lot of people thought I was self-absorbed.
I mean, it's not like I didn't realize just how much people had helped me over the years. I was aware of it, even if I wasn't as open with thanks as I probably should've been. It's just that…I didn't like to acknowledge the fact that I needed help. That I wouldn't have made it through without a little nudge here or there.
But sometimes…sometimes Fate doesn't give a flying fuck about what you like. Sometimes things just happen, and you don't have the option of standing on your own. You just have to accept that arm holding you up, that shoulder to cry on, that sympathetic ear, even if it makes you sick to your stomach at your own weakness.
Everybody needs a crutch sometimes…
This was my time.
##
It was dark.
This wasn't odd, it being one o'clock in the morning. But for some reason, this little fact seems to always stick out in my mind.
It was dark.
I was alone as usual, just me and Mr. Pointy, if you get my drift, and we were patrolling just like I normally did when it came out.
You know, it's funny…we've never actually identified what the thing was, even though I've never had as…close of an encounter with any other demon before. But I suppose I was busy with other things at the time, other problems and emotions…and it was dark.
I remember it jumping me from within a bush, the weight of it's scale-covered body pressed onto mine.
I remember trying to fight it. I used every trick that Giles ever taught me, using various holds and pressure points and all of that crap. And none of it worked.
The I remember the feeling of my blouse being ripped off. I can recall the noise each button made, the sound somehow filtering into my ears even though I know I was screaming for it to let me go.
I remember going wild, forgetting every bit of training in that all-encompassing fear, and simply beating at it's chest.
I remember how it felt when it sliced open my bra with it's talon, the sharp edge pressed against that sensitive skin between my breasts in a way which made death seem just so much closer. Then I felt those same talons pushing my short skirt up to my waist, the leather moving smoothly and almost soundlessly…mockingly quite.
He laughed at me. I tried and I tried, and for some reason he found this funny. Maybe it was because my efforts were so obviously useless. Maybe it was because it was a Slayer who was beneath him, crying out like a helpless child. I don't know why he laughed. I only remember what it sounded like.
Like gravel and dark chocolate. Harsh and self-satisfied.
He didn't immediately pull down my underwear. No, he prolonged it as long as he could, the feeling of power and dominance over something most demons feared intoxicating to his pride, no doubt. Instead, he pushed his scaly head between my breasts, which felt…
I don't know what it felt like. I can't tell you. I can't really remember much of what happened next…I was gone at the time. My mind retreated inward, defending itself where my body couldn't. All I can remember is those eyes, and then a feeling of immense pain as something was rammed deep within me.
Then the darkness truly claimed me, and I willingly submitted to it.
By Danii
Disclaimer: I own no one, nothing, and nada. Don't sue. I have nothing to take…
Distribution: Please take! Please! Just tell me AFTER you put it up, okay? With my name on it…
Dedication: To Ray Rivera, Lori Bush, Shawn, Michael, Nick, and all the really nifty people who have been giving my starving muse the feedback she needs!
Rating: R, for adult subjects, language, discussion of rape etc., and other assorted unpleasantness.
Feedback: Required for me to finish. I'm not blackmailing you, folks, it just makes it easier for me to write…
NOTE: I know I'm totally insane for starting this, but I figure I'll live.
And now:
I'm a much happier person then I used to be, and while most people would think that this is a bit strange considering the events that brought me to where I am now, I have to say that I really wouldn't have wanted it to turn out any other way.
Maybe the road was rough.
Maybe the path was hazy.
And maybe, just maybe, things would have turned out the same way if none of it had never happened, though I doubt that I would appreciate it as much if things hadn't gone the way they did.
But the important thing is that they did happen.
You see, I didn't like to depend on other people, and I guess that's why a lot of people thought I was self-absorbed.
I mean, it's not like I didn't realize just how much people had helped me over the years. I was aware of it, even if I wasn't as open with thanks as I probably should've been. It's just that…I didn't like to acknowledge the fact that I needed help. That I wouldn't have made it through without a little nudge here or there.
But sometimes…sometimes Fate doesn't give a flying fuck about what you like. Sometimes things just happen, and you don't have the option of standing on your own. You just have to accept that arm holding you up, that shoulder to cry on, that sympathetic ear, even if it makes you sick to your stomach at your own weakness.
Everybody needs a crutch sometimes…
This was my time.
##
It was dark.
This wasn't odd, it being one o'clock in the morning. But for some reason, this little fact seems to always stick out in my mind.
It was dark.
I was alone as usual, just me and Mr. Pointy, if you get my drift, and we were patrolling just like I normally did when it came out.
You know, it's funny…we've never actually identified what the thing was, even though I've never had as…close of an encounter with any other demon before. But I suppose I was busy with other things at the time, other problems and emotions…and it was dark.
I remember it jumping me from within a bush, the weight of it's scale-covered body pressed onto mine.
I remember trying to fight it. I used every trick that Giles ever taught me, using various holds and pressure points and all of that crap. And none of it worked.
The I remember the feeling of my blouse being ripped off. I can recall the noise each button made, the sound somehow filtering into my ears even though I know I was screaming for it to let me go.
I remember going wild, forgetting every bit of training in that all-encompassing fear, and simply beating at it's chest.
I remember how it felt when it sliced open my bra with it's talon, the sharp edge pressed against that sensitive skin between my breasts in a way which made death seem just so much closer. Then I felt those same talons pushing my short skirt up to my waist, the leather moving smoothly and almost soundlessly…mockingly quite.
He laughed at me. I tried and I tried, and for some reason he found this funny. Maybe it was because my efforts were so obviously useless. Maybe it was because it was a Slayer who was beneath him, crying out like a helpless child. I don't know why he laughed. I only remember what it sounded like.
Like gravel and dark chocolate. Harsh and self-satisfied.
He didn't immediately pull down my underwear. No, he prolonged it as long as he could, the feeling of power and dominance over something most demons feared intoxicating to his pride, no doubt. Instead, he pushed his scaly head between my breasts, which felt…
I don't know what it felt like. I can't tell you. I can't really remember much of what happened next…I was gone at the time. My mind retreated inward, defending itself where my body couldn't. All I can remember is those eyes, and then a feeling of immense pain as something was rammed deep within me.
Then the darkness truly claimed me, and I willingly submitted to it.