A/N: I need beta readers badly ; O ;. I'm new to fanfiction please don't kill me eep. This isn't yaoi so get out and enjoy the in character people :P (but if you want yaoi then comment how you are a yaoi fangirl that is desperate?). I hope you review, I continue when you review. This was inspired by a Kyle and Craig fic because the plot was so awesome :P.

South park is by Matt and Trey.

WARNING: Swearing...OF DOOOOOOOM.

BTW This is going to be a point of view pattern, today is KYLE'S~...next is Stan then Kenny etc...except I bet Kenny's is muffled :U.

Chapter 1

Hell. Turned to a show.

I kept drumming my pale fingers at the edge of the wooden desk. Waiting for that stupid fatass to get out of the principal's office was just a hassle. My eyes dart across the screen to search for something that can keep me awake, I took a glimpse at Stan taking a heavy drift-his heavy eyelids looked as if it was melting and Kenny just reading a playboy edition of whatever. I'm not really interested in these kind of magazines, why would a male pay all of his life savings for pictures of nude women? Well, he's Kenny after all, he's my best friend with Stan as my super best friend followed by a fat chipmunk who doesn't even deserve to be alive (yeah, you know who).

As the sound of my fingers echoed, I waited and waited until the door opened or...should I just open the door by itself? I wonder how many times that racist fuck been to the principal's office? I couldn't count. It's been five years and he's still the same. My personality didn't change as much, stubborn as ever-I would get perfect A's and be the top of my class other then Wendy...then there was Stan. When he turned 11, he changed to a cynical asshole of the world, thought everything was shit and crap. It was a relief he wasn't anymore. I could remember the times when we both had fun together as friends.

I swore Kenny took more drugs and hung out with girls more, such a fucking pervert-but he isn't as worse as Cartman. My anger spurted even more, the patience has cut short when I finally spoke.

"We should ditch him. Cartman's just going to bring us in his trouble. I don't know what the hell his problem is but we should all just ditch him and go to Raisins or Denny's...I don't want to be apart of his guilt and trouble anymore."

Stan's head bobbed up like stuck elevator as he rubbed his red eyes. Kenny took a quick glance at me and continued reading his book...it's like both of them aren't even paying attention to me! I was red, furious. "Are you guys even listening to me?" I snapped. Kenny slightly nodded, his eyes glued to the pages.

"Yeah, Cartman's just a waste. We should just go somewhere." Stan mumbled.

I won, victory is mine. Why did we even go here anyway? I stood up, but being blocked from that giant tree over there-I couldn't get up. Who even put plants in that direction anyway? Kenny was the last one, as I quickly grabbed the porn book and dropped it on the rosemary's pot.

"Hrf! Irf's nrf fraa!" He shouted.

"I don't care if it's not fair, just go to Denny's with us. "

Kenny gave up and followed Stan, this building was old but it still was fresh to us. There was the regular dark goth kids on the corner of the room, smoking cigarettes and moaning about dark poems I don't really give a fuck. There was a new waitress to replace the old one last year but it seems she got used to the Goths ordering coffee for them everyday. Sometimes I caught sight of them near the abandoned dumpster, I remember when Kenny tried to pass the soccer ball and I didn't really know after that, I thought he was late for the soccer practice so I scolded him.

After we sat at our regular seats, the waitress came over and warmed us a small smile.

"What would you like as a beverage?" She inquired. Her blonde curls were blocking her large pale forehead, the ordinary bright uniform looked not so fresh anymore...behind that smile I knew she was restless.

"Irf rif a rmf orf yrfu brofff." Kenny suggested with a raise of his right eyebrow. The waitress looked disgusted but shook her head in reply. "Ha ha, very funny. We do not cook my boobs young boy." I rolled my heavy emerald eyes.

"Kenny would like a glass of water while I like a milkshake."

"Frku yru grui! Defr orflr tri a kar afro isf wrfter." Ranted the blonde.

"Don't worry. We're going to share our meals for you."

Stan scoffed and looked around the walls of Denny's. "The walls...are yellow now.." He said. I didn't notice it, but the restaurant had changed the wall color. Just then my cellphone rang at the wrong moment. I checked the caller ID...anonymous? Who the hell is he? Just when I thought of clicking the red X button I had accidentally pressed the call one instead, giving a heavy sigh-I went for it.

"Hello, who are you?"

I hear hoarse chuckle. That voice seemed familiar...it almost sounds like...

"Cartman, is that you?"

"Fuck! I am unknown!"

"I'm going to hang up now..."

"No wait, Kahl!"

"What the fuck do you want? If you want to shit in my pants then no."

" No Kahl."

"I thought you were in the Principal Office!"

"Yes KAHL. But it was all acting. So shut up and listen. I just got like, won from a lottery and I got so many fucking cash...and another reward which is the people I choose for a new reality TV show and you guys are going to star in them! It's like, surviving in a jungle. So meet me up at my house guys, tell Stan and Kenny that they're also invited!"

"I'm not going. I'm hanging up now."

Just when I wanted to press the end button, Eric's voice screamed right at my left eardrum.

"NO KAHL! YOU GET PAID MONEY YOU FAG."

I winced at his harsh reply and sighed even more.

"Fine, for the money."

"My house, 6 pm and be on time or you die gaywad!"

Just then the connection hung up like some Hollywood Horror movie. Giving a death glare at my cellphone isn't going to fix everything, but pretending it was Cartman was another thing-so I shoved the small object in Kenny's tap water and tried to strangle it's base just like Homer Simpson...little did I know, it was still my cellphone. Stan tilted his head and studied me.

"Dude, something's wrong?"

"Like the fact Cartman won a million dollars and got another reward as inviting us to survive in a trapped jungle with a ass load of cash for the winner?"

"Hrfy shrt durd!" Kenny exclaimed.

"I seriously need to pay off my rents but what the hell," Stan replied. In case you don't know, Stan got a car since we're all 16...and of course, needs to pay for gas. Kenny's just doing it for the money as I am, but I wanted to be known as that kid who survived a crappy reality show instead. I wanted to prove Cartman wrong and I'll do it! Somehow...someday...I will beat his own game. That's when Kenny blew a wink at the nearby waitress, Stan took a a bite of his almond waffles which was covered in syrup and dark whip cream. I didn't want my french fries so I took a fried piece and threw it at Kenny's face...I missed my pathetic aim as the poor fries swam to the floor.

We didn't talk much but all I ever wondered in my mind was … Cartman's TV shit. Stan shoved his waffles at my cheeks, leaving a syrup mark at the corner.

"Dude you need to eat more, what's on your mind?"

"I don't know...maybe because I'll probably get fucked in this crap show?"

"Don't worry about it."

"C'mon man. It's Eric Cartmna we're talking about. The one who pretended to be handicap at the Special Olympics? The one who pretended to be nice to me when I didn't invite him to Casa Bonita? I don't know what the fuck he's going to do to me, we are friends after all but I still don't trust him."

Stan gave a shrug and got back to texting with Wendy. They should seriously get an inbox. I'm sick of how lovey dovey crap they put on Facebook like "I 3 you Stan!" or "Stan, can u get the new shoes, OMG 40% off. 333" and what's even worse is that Stan gets sick of all his messages in Facebook filled with Wendy's annoying phrases. He says he only goes there for talking with friends, he would regret when an event poked up when he was 10. Even since they were 10, things just went downhill from their relationship. Sometimes Stan would peck Wendy on the nose and leave chunks of vomit. It was still his same old habit...but he didn't puke as much. It's not as if I'm jealous, I'm glad he would finally be a man and suck it up but it might have been torturous to be able to lift two tons of bright powder, mini-skirts, and red flashy high heels. I heard Bebe tried to get Clyde back because she wanted more shoes, girls.

I'm glad I don't have a girlfriend...there was this one girl I liked but she turned to a whore. Just because of me. My thoughts shook off, interrupted by Stan's voice.

"Dude are you going to come? It's almost six."

A/N: I ask you reviewers, should I add..yaoi fluff or just stick to pure plotness which is awesome for me lololol? Thanks for reading! I need beta-readers, like badly.