The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any GI Joe characters has gone off to group therapy. Or a bar. Either way the following is not my fault. Blame it on the voices in my head. Or the drinks that gave me the voices in my head. Whichever.
Cobra Commander Vs. Group Therapy
"Why the hell are we doing this?" The Baroness groaned as the Cobra High Command sat around in chairs in a circle. Cobra Commander, Destro, Dr. Mindbender, Zartan, Zandar, Zarana, Xamot and Tomax were there.
"Because Baroness, I said so!" Cobra Commander snarled underneath his mask.
"No, I mean the real reason," The Baroness asked.
"Me, I'm just doing this to get away from the Dreadnoks for an hour," Zartan shrugged.
"That's as good a reason as any," Destro admitted.
"For me it was either this or clean my lab," Mindbender admitted. "And I really wasn't in the mood to do it."
"Don't you have assistants to clean your lab?" The Baroness asked.
"They're sort of the reason I have to clean the lab," Mindbender sighed. "By the way, stay away from the neutronic flux capacitor in Lab B. Apparently its discharge is rather lethal to the human body."
"How lethal?" Zandar asked.
"Very lethal…" Mindbender winced. "We're talking hamster in the microwave lethal."
"Ah…" Zandar nodded.
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to get lab assistant stain out of your cape?" Mindbender sighed. "By the way does anyone know a good dry cleaner that is not squeamish?"
"Is there a point to all of this or do we have to sit here and listen to more of Mindbender's laundry problems?" Destro asked Cobra Commander. "Why are we all sitting in a circle like the beginning of a mediocre high school comedy movie?"
"Look, things have not gone well for Cobra lately…" Cobra Commander decided it was better to press on.
"Understatement of the year," Destro folded his arms.
"Sure our organization has failed to take over the world," Cobra Commander went on.
"Many times," Destro added.
"So many times…" Mindbender sighed.
"So many, many, many times…" Zartan added.
"And we do have a slight cash flow problem…" Cobra Commander went on.
"Greece has a slight cash flow problem," Xamot gave Cobra Commander a look.
"We are broke!" Tomax added.
"Okay! We're complete failures, dead broke and the only headquarters we have left that hasn't been exposed by Wikileaks is underneath a third rate fast food joint that has a habit of using the rats it attracts as part of a happy meal!" Cobra Commander snapped. "Are you all happy?"
"If I were it would be a first," Destro remarked.
"Look! Desperate times call for desperate measures," Cobra Commander said. "And trust me they don't get more desperate than this group! We need to turn our luck around fast! So in order to do a little team building we are going to have a little group therapy session!"
"Group therapy? Us? Like that would actually do any good!" Zartan groaned.
"Didn't most of us turn to crime because group therapy didn't work?" Zandar asked.
"You could stick us in a building filled with the world's most accomplished psychiatrists for a year and you wouldn't make any progress!" Destro said. "Commander there is no way you can lead a group therapy session and expect to change this group!"
"You do have a point Destro," Cobra Commander coughed. "Technically I do not have the necessary skills to lead a group therapy session."
"You barely have the skills to lead a Girl Scout troop," Zarana sniffed.
"If the Girl Scout troop was made of three members and they were all either brain dead or psychotic," Zartan snickered.
"As I was saying…" Cobra Commander went on in an annoyed tone. "Our group needs to refocus and come together. Therefore, I have decided to call in an outsider to help smooth over the rough patches in our team."
"Yeah like a mobster smooths over the rough patches in the cement where he buries someone he just whacked," Zartan snorted.
"Are you telling us that you actually paid money to bring in a psychiatrist to help our organization?" Destro asked.
"I went one better," Cobra Commander said. "I found someone in our organization that was already qualified."
"In our organization?" Mindbender blinked. "You are talking about Cobra right?"
"Who could you find among us that could supposedly help this lot that hasn't done squat already?" Zarana asked.
"Oh god, it's not one of the Dreadnoks is it?" Destro blanched.
"Don't be ridiculous Destro! You clearly need to have some intelligence to get an online certification!" Cobra Commander snorted. "Which obviously lets the Dreadnoks out."
"Wait this person only has an online certification in psychiatry?" Destro asked. "And you trust this person with our personal secrets?"
"I feel better already," Zandar quipped.
"For your information I have attended several colleges and studied psychiatry for over nine years," Cadet Deming walked in wearing a white doctor's uniform and high heels. Her blond hair was in a ponytail and she was carrying a clipboard and paper.
"And been a psychiatric patient for twenty," The Baroness quipped. "You can't be serious? You expect this bleach blonde bimbo to run a group therapy session with us?"
"Why don't you just call the Easter Bunny to deliver us some chocolate eggs for us to snack on while you're at it?" Zarana snickered. She never did like the blonde cadet either.
"First of all, I am not a bleach blonde bimbo!" Cadet Deming glared at the Baroness. "I'm a natural blonde."
"So am I," Mindbender rolled his eyes.
"Commander of all your hair brained crackpot schemes this is the worst!" The Baroness stood up with her hands on her hips. "I can understand you wanting to save money but even a stuffed animal would be better qualified to run a group session than this idiot!"
"How would you like to get stuffed?" Cadet Deming glared at the Baroness.
"How would you like me to break your jaw again?" The Baroness glared at her.
"Enough! Sit down Baroness! Look if I could find a more qualified professional willing to help Cobra for free don't you think I would have done so?" Cobra Commander ordered. "Or even kidnap a more qualified professional! But it turns out most of the good ones also have good lawyers and we have enough people trying to sue us as it is! So she's running this! Sit down! Shut up! Get over it!"
"I will abide by your decision for now Cobra Commander," The Baroness sat down reluctantly. "But I will not promise to stay silent!"
"The Baroness not being quiet and speaking her mind," Zartan drawled. "That's a first!"
"You are on my list of people I would like to disembowel too, Zartan!" The Baroness pointed. "I suggest you not annoy me today!"
"Oh please! My brother can't annoy you any more than Destro!" Zarana remarked. "You know the guy who constantly fools around on you and refuses to make any commitment?"
"You have a point," The Baroness glared at Destro.
"Thank you so very much, Zarana!" Destro glared at her. "As long as we are pointing out annoyances have I ever told you how much it annoys me that you had some kind of fling with a GI Joe, endangering our missions?"
"Not half as annoying as being related to one," Zandar pointed out.
"Yes, but at least I am willing to blow her up in order to fulfill my duties!" Destro snapped.
"Duties? Ha!" Mindbender snorted. "The only duties you have are following the Commanders orders and passing down the buck to everyone else!"
"At least I don't go through lab assistants like tissue paper!" Destro snapped.
"No," Tomax smirked.
"You just go through bimbos like tissue paper," Xamot finished with a smile.
"You know you two aren't exactly ones to throw stones when it comes to the bimbo glass house!" The Baroness pointed to Cadet Deming. "Look what you lived with for years!"
"I think we are all getting off track," Cadet Deming said sharply. "Especially you Baroness!"
"Yes! The point of this therapy is to help you maniacs," Cobra Commander. "To fix your flaws in order for this team to work together better!"
"US?" The Baroness yelled. "Our flaws?"
"Who are you trying to kid?" Zandar laughed.
"We should have known," Xamot and Tomax moaned.
"I knew this was going to be pointless!" Mindbender groaned. "Still better than cleaning my lab but pointless just the same!"
"And you say the Dreadnoks are hopeless?" Zartan yelled.
"Commander out of all of us you have more faults than the San Andreas Fault line!" Destro snapped. "And bigger ones as well!"
"What? You mean I'm too nice?" Cobra Commander asked.
"Nice? Ebenezer Scrooge before he met the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future was nicer than you!" Destro pointed. "And more generous!"
"I told you this was a stupid idea," The Baroness snapped. "One in a long line of stupid ideas the Commander has come up with!"
"What exactly are you saying Baroness?" Cobra Commander looked at her.
"I am saying that I find it hilarious that you are wasting our time trying to fix us when it is you that should have been fixed long ago!" The Baroness snapped.
"I agree," Destro said. "I for one am fed up with you blaming us for the downfall of Cobra."
"Yeah we all know you're to blame!" Zarana snapped.
"Wait so you are all blaming all of our failures…On me?" Cobra Commander gasped.
"YES!" Everyone shouted.
"Why do you think we replaced you with a genetically construct emperor?" Mindbender asked. "As some part of insurance scheme?"
"You ruined our lives!" Zandar snapped.
"To be fair Zandar, most of you didn't have much of a life to begin with," Cobra Commander snapped.
"It was still better than this!" Zandar yelled.
"I agree! Your leadership for lack of a better word has not only ruined our futures but the future of Cobra as well!" Mindbender snapped.
"Don't you think that's a little harsh?" Cobra Commander asked.
"Ask me that again the next time we have to drink a cat's milk smoothie!" Mindbender snapped.
"A what?" Cadet Deming blinked.
"Don't ask," Destro groaned. "If you value what little sanity you have, don't ask!"
"Okay I hear what you are saying…" Cobra Commander began.
"That will be a first," The Baroness remarked.
"You're all frustrated. Upset. And I suppose as the leader of Cobra I may have some responsibility of things getting to the point they are now," Cobra Commander went on.
"By 'some' you should mean all!" Tomax made air quotes.
"When have I ever led Cobra astray?" Cobra Commander asked.
"Do you want the whole list or just the top ten?" The Baroness asked.
"Just one specific example," Cobra Commander gave her a look.
"The mechanical sea serpent incident," The Baroness said. "You know, the one where you tried to control a giant mechanical sea monster to attack and plunder cargo ships on the sea? And ended up getting eaten yourself?"
"You would have to pick that one," Cobra Commander cringed. "Name another."
"The Cobra Beer Factory," The Baroness said. "You know the one that poisoned many of our people?"
"Including my Dreadnoks," Zartan snapped. "They almost died!"
"Okay in that respect that was a failure," Cobra Commander grumbled. "The fact that the Dreadnoks are still alive…"
"The time you wanted to use the media to discredit GI Joe but ended up proving your existence to the world without a doubt!" The Baroness snapped.
"How am I to blame for that?" Cobra Commander asked.
"Commander we were supposed to use that fool Hector Ramirez to prove the world that Cobra didn't exist so it would be easier to take over it," The Baroness snapped. "Kind of hard to do that when you gave a two hour interview!"
"To be fair he is a very well-known media personality and…" Cobra Commander went on.
"All those times we had GI Joes in our grasp and they got away!" The Baroness went on. "Instead of just simply shooting them you had to play stupid games with them!"
"So I like to torture and taunt my enemies before I dispose of them? Can you blame me for wanting to put a little fun in my workweek?" Cobra Commander asked. "Just a little something to break the endless monotony? Is that too much to ask?"
"And let us not forget that whole Funhouse fiasco," The Baroness went on. "That was just stupid! Not half as stupid as the time you tried to control ghosts in order to fight for Cobra but still stupid."
"I did say only one example, didn't I Baroness?" Cobra Commander groaned.
"That weapons factory in India that was supposed to supply Cobra with new laser rifles," The Baroness went on. "Which you burned down!"
"Accidentally! And I was planning on giving up smoking anyway! What more do you want?" Cobra Commander snapped.
"Some competent leadership would be nice," Destro said.
"Maybe I do have a couple of flaws," Cobra Commander tried to start again.
"A couple of flaws?" Zartan asked.
"Try a couple of thousand flaws!" Zarana added.
"I don't have that many flaws!" Cobra Commander snapped.
"Yes you do!" Mindbender snapped.
"What sort of flaws are you talking about?" Cadet Deming asked.
"How long have you been with Cobra? Seriously?" The Baroness gave her a look.
"Oh I know them. I just want to give you all a chance to talk," Cadet Deming explained.
"Oh well in that case I will go first. For starters the Commander is impatient and refuses to listen to any criticism," Destro began.
"Oh that's just stupid whining! Let's move onto something else!" Cobra Commander waved.
"He also doesn't think about anyone but himself," Destro went on. "Often neglecting his troops and his important duties!"
"What do you mean I neglect my duties?" Cobra Commander snapped. "Troops I get. They're expendable. But I have always put Cobra first!"
"Oh really?" Destro folded his arms and gave him a look. "Like the time we didn't have any shipments of new materials or equipment for a month because you decided to take an 'emergency vacation' to the Bahamas?"
"It was an emergency," Cobra Commander sniffed. "I was feeling very stressed. I needed a mental health break."
"Didn't work," The Baroness said. "You came back being the same whiny annoying pain in the ass you always are."
"And while you were gone Cobra was low on ammunition and weapons," Destro fumed.
"Not to mention food in the commissary," Zartan pointed out.
"Without you to sign the necessary checks…" Tomax began.
"Cobra's funding and supplies practically stopped," Xamot added.
"Leading to absolute chaos," The Twins finished together.
"It wasn't that bad," Cobra Commander waved.
"Not that bad? Commander seven of our bases were overrun by the enemy!" Destro snapped. "We had no adequate defenses to protect them!"
"And only four of them were GI Joe," The Baroness groaned. "Two of them were overrun by local gangsters angry that we were on their territory. And the last one was taken over by some surprisingly organized group of local seniors angry about some rigged bingo games."
"Oh right, that was one of my schemes back then," Cobra Commander nodded.
"Another one of your genius ideas," The Baroness said sarcastically.
"We lost a quarter of our troops that month," Destro added. "And the frightening part is not all of them were captured by GI Joe!"
"Most of them just went off to the unemployment line," Tomax moaned.
"A few of them went to the authorities and ratted us out!" Xamot added.
"Leading to the loss of a few more bases," Tomax finished.
"Not to mention the Food Riot of 98 which started because of lack of grape soda in the vending machines," Zartan moaned.
"And ended with an explosion big enough to be seen from space!" Destro finished.
"Again, who keeps their bomb supply right next to the cafeteria?" Zarana shouted.
"All right! That was one isolated incident!" Cobra Commander protested. "One incident where I thought my staff could handle Cobra for a very short period of time! I was wrong! Apparently you all do need me to babysit you or nothing ever gets done! And if I am not there for even a few minutes, this entire organization falls apart! My mistake! But that was the only one!"
"The only one?" Destro gave him a look. "Are you sure about that?"
"Yes," Cobra Commander sniffed.
"Really?" Destro asked. "What about the Lorraine Incident?"
"YOU SWORE YOU'D NEVER BRING THAT UP AGAIN!" Cobra Commander yelled. "YOU SWORE ON YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S GRAVE!"
"I lied," Destro smirked. "Grandmother is doing quite well. She's entering the Highland Games again this year. Going to defend her Highland Stepping title which she has held for six years in a row."
"Wait who is Lorraine?" The Baroness was puzzled.
"Yeah I never heard of that one," Zarana frowned.
"That's because we didn't tell you," Zartan chuckled. "Trust me, it's a good one."
"Do you remember the weekend we were supposed to launch that attack on that French Naval base with our new disintegrator ray?" Destro asked.
"Yes the one where only Cobra Commander had the codes to activate it," The Baroness nodded. "He never showed up."
"And because he never showed up the ray was never activated," Mindbender frowned. "And then we got overrun by GI Joe!"
"We barely managed to escape capture," Tomax frowned.
"Yes Commander, where were you?" Xamot asked.
"Well Zartan and I went looking for the Commander and we found him…" Destro began.
"Don't tell him Destro!" Cobra Commander snapped.
"Okay, I will," Zartan smirked. "We found him in Vegas tied to a bed wearing pink lingerie and high heels."
"That sounds like a normal weekend to me," Mindbender blinked. Everyone looked at him. "I mean for Cobra Commander."
"I take it you also discovered a woman by the name of Lorraine?" The Baroness folded her arms in disgust.
"Yes," Destro shrugged. "And we also discovered what happened to half of our paychecks."
"The Commander here spent them on Lorraine," Zartan pointed. "He bought her seven pairs of designer shoes, a new car, two parakeets, a nurse's costume and several cans of whipped cream."
"Again that's not unreasonable," Mindbender spoke. Everyone looked at him again. "For Cobra Commander I mean. Not me. I mean…Whipped cream? What is that about? Am I right?"
"Okay maybe some of us could use a little therapy," Zartan remarked.
"So I had a little fling! I have needs! Sue me!" Cobra Commander snapped. "I had a little fun and then I broke it off."
"Why did you break it off Cobra Commander?" Destro asked innocently.
"The relationship ran its course," Cobra Commander snapped. "I just decided that Cobra was more important to me than endless pleasure and fun. There. I chose to put the needs of Cobra ahead of my own! I gave up Lorraine for Cobra."
"Before or after you found out she was a man?" Destro asked.
"DESTRO!" Cobra Commander shrieked. The Baroness, Zarana, Zandar, Cadet Deming and the Twins were laughing uproariously.
"Now hold on, was this Lorraine pre op or post op?" Mindbender spoke up. "Because a lot of those post ops have some very good work done. You can't even tell…"
Everyone looked at him. "What? I am on your side!" Mindbender protested to Cobra Commander. "These things do happen."
"Oh great! If you are on my side then I am in worse shape than I thought!" Cobra Commander moaned. "Maybe I do need to work on some self-improvement?"
"Some? We're talking an entire renovation here!" The Baroness said.
"And who could ever forget the Commander's infamous adventure in that brothel in Thailand?" Destro went on. "The one where he was banned for life on charges of moral turpitude."
"Hey! Paid for those electric eels, jumper cables and whipped cream! I brought them in so I wouldn't have to be charged extra!" Commander snapped. "Whatever happened to the customer is always right? Satisfaction guaranteed my ass!"
"It was your ass that needed skin grafts when those eels attacked you," Zartan pointed out. "Oh that was a fun weekend."
"Fun for you! You weren't the one that ended up in the intensive care unit," Cobra Commander grumbled.
"Yes it seems the Commander does have many flaws," Cadet Deming wrote something down. "Anyone else like to say what they are?"
"Oh I've got one!" Zartan said. "He's cheap!"
"He's a coward," Zandar added.
"Lazy!" Mindbender added.
"Stuck up," Zarana added.
"Arrogant," The Baroness added.
"Inept," Tomax added.
"Impatient," Xamot added.
"Greedy," The Twins said at the same time.
"And an alcoholic. Don't forget that," Zandar added.
"Oh right that's a good one," Zarana nodded.
"Yes ever since the 90's the Commander has consumed more vodka than the entire country of Russia," The Baroness added.
"You know maybe that's why he's gotten worse as a leader?" Tomax thought aloud.
"Well it certainly didn't help the budget, that's for sure," Xamot shrugged.
"Every year more and more of our expenses came from Big Vinnie's Big Booze Discount Store," Tomax added.
"I am not an alcoholic!" Cobra Commander shouted.
"Commander when you start choosing alcohol over tanks and weapons, it's a sign you have a problem," Destro sighed.
"On the other hand when he's drunk we can get away with more," Zartan pointed out. "And he doesn't get as scared when he's bombed out of his mind."
"That's true. And I do find that I can get more work done when he's passed out," The Baroness added.
"There are some nice quiet moments when he's plastered aren't there?" Destro asked.
"All right! I get it! I need to work on a few things! But what about all my good points? And don't say all those things you said were my good points!" Cobra Commander snapped. "Because they clearly weren't!"
"You have good points?" Mindbender blinked.
"Never mind!" Cobra Commander grumbled. "Look, I've been leading Cobra for years! I had to do something right in order to keep this organization going this long haven't I?"
"Odds are you had to get something right sooner or later," Destro remarked. "Considering you have all the tactical sense of a fruit fly in a vat of wine."
"Yeah strategy is not your forte Commander," Zarana nodded.
"What do you mean? I'm a brilliant military genius!" Cobra Commander snapped.
"If by brilliant military genius you mean you have lost almost every single battle we have ever had, then yes, you are brilliant!" Destro said sarcastically. "Brilliantly horrendous!"
"Not every single battle! I have won a few!" Cobra Commander snapped.
"Name one," The Baroness folded her arms.
"Well there was the time that…" Cobra Commander stopped. "Wait no, that's not right. Oh wait there was the time we attacked…No, no that didn't work either in the long run. Of course you all remember the time…Oh wait. That doesn't count. That iceberg did all the work."
"Uh huh," The Baroness rolled her eyes. "Just as I thought."
"I know we had a couple victories somewhere!" Cobra Commander said. "Wait I got it! When we arrived at Cobra La! We beat the Joes then!"
"No, that wasn't you," Destro said. "Nemesis Enforcer and his troops defeated the Joes. We were retreating, remember?"
"It was right before they arrested you, put you on trial and turned you into a snake," Zartan reminded him.
"Oh yeah, that's right," Cobra Commander said. "That was not a good day. Okay maybe that one doesn't count but I definitely remember the time we…Oh wait no, we lost the one with the giant vegetables too."
"I rest my case," Destro said.
"Now hang on! I'm still thinking! I know it was on some holiday," Cobra Commander kept thinking. "I want to say Christmas but I know that can't be right."
"Commander even if you did win one battle compared to the other seventy five million we lost it doesn't matter!" Destro snapped.
"It was not seventy five million! I think…" Cobra Commander thought. "A couple million maybe but…You know what they say!"
"Give up?" The Baroness sighed.
"No, for every failure you learn something!" Cobra Commander nodded.
"In that case Commander you must be the smartest person on the entire planet," Destro drawled.
"Let's face it Commander, you may be a lot of things but military genius isn't one of them," Zarana shook her head.
"Strategy is certainly not your forte, Commander," Destro remarked.
"Remember that Merlin game we gave him one year for his birthday?" Zartan asked.
"His real birthday or one of his fake ones?" The Baroness asked.
"All of them are fake," Destro waved. "He never tells us his age. Vain! He's vain! That's another one!"
"Yeah but I'm talking about the Merlin! That was hilarious!" Zartan snorted.
"Do you have to bring up that stupid thing?" Cobra Commander snapped.
"What stupid thing? What's a Merlin?" Cadet Deming asked.
"Oh it was an electronic gaming device in the 80's," Mindbender explained. "I guess you could call it the ancestor of the Game Boy. It looked like a red cell phone. A very large annoying red cell phone."
"I remember that," The Baroness said. "You could play music on that right?"
"Yeah I mean nothing more complicated than Frere Jacques or Row, Row Your Boat but you could technically play music that you programmed in," Zartan said. "You could also play about nine other games like Mine Sweep, Tic Tac Toe…I forget the rest but they were really big for about a month or so back then."
"Yes, yes…We all remember the 80's…" Cobra Commander sighed.
"Anyway I gave one to Cobra Commander for his birthday and he could never beat the game at Tic Tac Toe," Zartan went on. "Never. Not even once."
"And as you can imagine beating the game had as much skill as putting on a hat," Destro smirked.
"Well if the hat was loud and blinked all the time and made annoying sounds!" Cobra Commander snapped. "It was a more difficult game than it looked. It wasn't like I was the only one who couldn't beat it a couple of times."
"Uh yeah you were," Zarana gave him a look.
"Commander, you lost every single time!" Zartan said. "You never won once! Even the Dreadnoks were better at it than you!"
"Torch was really good at that game," Zarana remembered. "I mean how lame is that if even Torch…"
"Yes! Yes! I get the message," Cobra Commander held up his hand.
"And half the time Torch didn't even know he was playing the game," Zartan added. "He really did think it was just a cell phone."
"Yes well…" Cobra Commander tried to interrupt.
"He just kept punching those buttons trying to get the operator," Zartan went on. "And yet he still managed to beat the machine!"
"All right now…" Cobra Commander was getting rather annoyed.
"It always surprised me whenever Torch picked it up and two seconds later I'd hear the sound that machine made when you won the game," Zartan said. "And then he'd shout at the operator, punch a few buttons and bam! He won again!"
"Very interesting…" Cobra Commander sighed. "Now as I was saying…"
"I remember that," Destro said. "I also remember he easily won all the other games that Merlin had. He even once programmed the machine to play Beethoven's Fifth."
"Well to be fair Destro," Cobra Commander gave him a look. "That opening tune is a bit obvious and easy to program."
"No, I mean he did the entire symphony of Beethoven's Fifth!" Destro explained. "All two hours of it which is strange because usually you could only get a few bars of…"
"WHAT IS THIS? PICK ON COBRA COMMANDER DAY?" Cobra Commander shouted.
"This was your idea," Destro pointed out.
"Okay so Torch is an idiot savant when it comes to video games!" Cobra Commander snapped. "With emphasis on the idiot! But that doesn't mean I am not good at strategy!"
"Actually it kind of does," Cadet Deming said. "I mean if you have trouble beating a child's game…"
"Perhaps the Baroness does have a valid point?" Cobra Commander growled. "And your jaw should be broken again?"
"Look you said to do and say whatever it takes in order to get this group working again," Cadet Deming told Cobra Commander.
"I meant say it to them! Not me!" Cobra Commander pointed to the group.
"Well you should have said so," Cadet Deming sniffed. "You don't think things through. That's another flaw we need to work on."
"How about I work on my hands squeezing the life out of your neck?" Cobra Commander jumped up and tried to tackle Cadet Deming. She jumped out of the way quickly. "GAHHH!"
"AAAAHHHH!" Cadet Deming ran out of the room as fast as she could go.
"COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BIMBO!" Cobra Commander chased after her out the door. "WOMAN YOU WILL SUFFER FOR THIS!"
"YOU HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST!" Cadet Deming screamed.
"You know maybe this wasn't such a waste of time after all?" The Baroness laughed.
"Yes, maybe we should make this a weekly thing?" Mindbender chuckled. "Once a week we all get together and complain about Cobra Commander."
"If anything can bring this group together it is our mutual hatred of the Commander," Destro nodded. "So same time next week?"
"Sounds good to me," The Baroness nodded.
"I'll bring some donuts and snacks," Zandar offered.
"We'll bring the drinks," Xamot and Tomax added.
"And I'll bring the whipped cream," Mindbender said brightly. Everyone looked at him. "What?"