Darkness in My Soul
By: Angelus Erreare
A/N: Disclaimer: I do not own any characters featured within this fanfiction. Serph, Heat, Argilla, Gale, Angel, Cielo, Sera etc. all belong to ATLUS USA. The only characters that I do own are Belial, Fox, Ezekiel and Xion.
Warning: MODERATE LANGUAGE.
Chapter 1: Dark Thoughts
Heat lay there on his bed, thinking. He stared at the wall. Actually, he had been staring at it for the past hour. On the wall, was a slight blemish. Heat narrowed his eyes in order to see what it was. It was a dent on the wall.
He scowled. A dent; just like him. To relieve himself of the annoyance the dent sent him, Heat turned to his side and looked at the wall there.
He continued to stare at the other side of the wall but found his concentration suddenly lacking. His thoughts were constantly being distracted. They were being distracted by that small dent. Heat tried to block the sight of the dent from his eyes and his mind, but no matter how much he focused on the other part of the wall, his eyes would unconsciously seek to gaze upon the annoying dent.
He growled. He was doing it again.
Wanting to settle the annoyance, he gave in to the silent persuasion that the dent seemed to be throwing his way.
He stared at it. Hard.
It was then, as he stared at it, that his mind began to think clearly once more.
He then realized something else. That dent, that annoying little dent really was like Serph. Serph had everything; power, control, strength…everything. Heat sneered at that thought. Oh yes, Serph was definitely like this dent.
'An annoying piece of shit that I ought to get rid of!' Heat thought angrily.
Serph was the annoying dent in Heat's life. They had always competed in everything, and yet, in one way or another, Serph had always managed to arise as the victor.
No one appreciated the person who occupied second place. No; to people, there were only the people who won and the people who lost; the victor and the defeated.
"Damn it!" Heat cursed, slamming his arm on the wall beside his bed.
Heat was still bitter to the fact that Serph had been selected to lead Embryon. That was ten months ago. He had contended for the position, but like most of their battles and skirmishes, Serph had beaten him once more.
Heat didn't understand it. Why was Serph chosen instead of him? He was as good as Serph in combat, or even better. He was strong and a good leader. Why was he not chosen?
Gale's words still rung freshly in his ears, "He was chosen because he has something you and I lack. He has the heart of a leader."
"What the fuck does that even mean?!" Heat snarled angrily.
As he turned his head, he caught sight of the dent once more. Heat's insides began to burn, and he grabbed his clock and threw it on the wall, hitting the dent.
"Lousy piece of shit." he muttered, getting up form his bed.
He stormed out of his room; he needed to get some air anyway.
Heat wandered throughout the base, noting lazily how their soldiers went on their way. They all looked the same to Heat. None of them piqued his interest.
He shrugged his shoulders. That was how it had always been in the Junkland. Everyone seemed faceless. Everyone seemed unfazed and cold; distant and detached. Heat didn't really care. Like he said before, none of them were of any interest to him. He knew none of them and didn't really feel like socializing.
He looked up to the gloomy sky and smelled the fresh rain. It always soothed his mood.
"A penny for your thoughts?" he heard a female voice speak from a short distance.
Slightly startled and annoyed at the fact that he didn't even sense her presence, he turned around and looked sharply at the source of the voice. There, a few feet behind him, a female stood with a male. His eyes narrowed as he realized the male to be his nemesis; Serph.
Heat growled at seeing him. He needed to get some air, damn it! Everywhere he went, the issue of Serph refused to leave him. He stared at the pair in front of him, who, it seemed were so focused on each other that they failed to notice the brooding redhead staring intently at them.
He looked at Serph as if he were trying to decipher what it was that made him tick. What was it that made him the ideal person? He regarded his easy posture and the slight tinge of pink on his cheeks. Heat raised an eyebrow at this. 'Was Serph blushing?' His eyes went from his cheeks to Serph's lips that were curved up to a smile. Heat scowled; so the young leader was smitten. He sneered. He was probably contemplating on making her his mate.
Ah yes. The ultimate goal of every male; to find their true mates and share the rest of their lives with them. Hm, the only hard part was how to lay their claims.
Heat switched his gaze from Serph to the female, who was none other than his other teammate, Argilla. He regarded her silently; she had a warm smile on her lips and her eyes seemed to twinkle. She stood in front of Serph, her arms crossed but with her right hand touching her chin. From the angle that he stood, Heat could get a view of her cleavage and her creamy long legs.
She had always dressed like that but something in Heat suddenly wanted to question that. Was there another reason why she was dressed the way she was now? 'Hmph,' he sneered, 'probably trying to get his attention.'
His eyes narrowed as he gazed intently at her face once more; it had that same pink tinge as Serph. Heat blinked; she liked Serph. She probably wanted him to be her mate. He inwardly cursed; that was another point to Serph. Serph had charisma and could have any woman he desired. Heat had always been aware of this fact, but he had never let this bother him.
'So what?' he used to reason with himself, 'I don't want a woman. Women are too troublesome.' But, as their skirmishes got more heated, and he began to lose more and more battles to Serph, Heat didn't want to admit it, but, he was desperate to win.
In anything.
He gritted his teeth at the sight that he was seeing. This was Serph's territory; 'Just like everything else in this fucking place!' he thought darkly. Women were his territory.
Heat frowned; perhaps it was time to enter a new arena. He silently retreated into the shadows and continued to watch them. His eyes narrowed into slits as he noticed Serph get closer to the female. She didn't flinch nor move away. She was either oblivious to the fact that they had become closer in proximity or that she welcomed his advances.
He didn't hear what had transpired between them as Serph leaned down on her and whispered something in her ear. Heat continued to look at them with nothing but contempt in his heart. Gale had said that it was the heart that made Serph strong.
What exactly was this heart? Was it desire? Lust?
He had heard of something called love. Love between parents and child, between siblings, between friends, and between lovers. But he had never experienced it for himself.
If it was the heart that determined strength, then so be it. Heat's mind raced as he contemplated this new arena that he was to enter. If the heart made Serph strong, he had two options. Either, he took away that heart from Serph or he gains his own.
He sighed; how was he to do that?
Argilla's sing-song chuckle brought him from his reverie. 'Of course! Why didn't I think of that before?' His eyes now focused on Argilla once more. She was the key. From the way that they looked at each other now, he would say that she possessed his heart. Heat's mind traced backwards, 'Come to think of it…from the past…he always looked at her…though she never noticed…'
He nodded and closed his eyes; he knew what to do.
He would claim her as his own.
'Too easy…' he told himself, 'I'll be hitting two birds with one stone…I'll take his heart and make it my own…'
'But how…?' he asked himself.
He needed to think his plan through.
"Mark my words Serph…," he muttered quietly, "you'll never claim her. She'll love me…in the end…whether she likes it or not!" he vowed.
"You'll lose asshole."
With those words, he vanished into the shadows.
xxxxx
Heat stormed through their barrack, growling and glaring daggers to those unfortunate enough to cross his path. With his quick and powerful strides, he reached his room with haste. He stomped his feet as he reached the inside of his room and sat on the bed.
She was the key he needed.
But she loved-no-she desired Serph. If he was to claim her, she must relinquish her desire for Serph and surrender to him. Heat's lips curved into a grin; he could just see it now; how Serph would break when he realized that his woman was in the arms of his arch-rival.
It would be damn sweet.
Heat got on the bed and stared at the ceiling with his palms at the back of his head. Soon after, his eyes closed and he drifted into sleep.
xxxxx
He awoke to the sound of singing. Heat furrowed his eyebrows. Who was that making all that noise? Noise? No, he shook his head; it wasn't noise. It was a song. A beautiful and melodic voice floating gently in the air.
Heat looked around himself; something was definitely wrong.
He awoke not in his room; but somewhere else. The walls, floors and ceiling were pure white. The furniture was the same but they were all white. Heat blinked; this was blinding as it was annoying to the senses.
Still, he found himself drawn to the source of the song. He took one step forward, then another and another still. His heart began to race and his hands trembled as he took more steps closer to the origin of the voice. His steps ended in front of a white door. There was no doubt; the song came from there.
His heart pounded as if it threatened to leap from his chest as he gripped the doorknob. He slowly turned it and slowly opened it, allowing the door to make a creaking noise.
His eyes widened at what he saw.
There, in front of his eyes to behold, was the siren, in her full glory. Blood rushed through his system and powerful electric jolts pulsed through his nether regions. He regarded the woman in front of him. She stood in front of him with an innocent smile on her face, as if she knew that he would come. She was in an open-air bath and her skin glistened in the moonlight. Only half of her body was exposed to him; but it didn't matter. He was going to have her. Her long pink hair was loose, framing her face beautifully. Her pink eyes held a sense of longing in them.
Heat shivered with desire and he walked towards her, his body moving on its own.
"Heat…" he heard his siren breathe out his name. He liked it; he liked the way his name passed through her lips.
"Argilla…" he whispered softly, disbelieving that the woman in front of him was his teammate.
Before he knew what he was doing, he pulled her into a searing kiss. She moaned softly in their kiss and he slid his tongue in her mouth. She shyly parted her lips and let her tongue dance with his. Heat's hands meandered to her plump breasts and she squealed in delight. His other hand gripped her head to hold her in place and pulled her closer to himself. Another jolt rushed through his nether regions and Heat groaned. It was almost becoming unbearable. This woman was driving him crazy!
He abruptly broke the kiss, unbelieving that this was all real. What he was feeling was unknown to him. He had never felt like this before. So much intensity, passion…just waiting to be unleashed.
He looked intently into her eyes and asked in a low and dangerous voice, "Who are you?"
His siren said nothing but giggled heartily, turning her back to him, "I am who you desire…"
"What?" Heat snarled in annoyance.
But before he could open his mouth to say something further, his vision blurred once more and his surroundings began to spin. He clutched his head in pain and fell into the water.
xxxxx
Heat sat up abruptly, he eyes widened with his face dripping with sweat. So, it had been a dream.
"Fuck!!" he shouted.
He breathed out slowly. He had a dream about her. He had dreamed about Argilla. She had said that it was she that he desired. Was that true? He frowned; he didn't know. He never really paid much attention to her in the past; until now.
But nonetheless, the dream intrigued him. She intrigued him. Serph will not stand in his way this time.
No, not this time.
Heat clutched the sheets around him tightly, "You won't win this time Serph…"
xxxxx
Morning came and Heat walked through the hall of the barrack, heading for the strategy room. Another offensive, he mused, was being planned. He bared his teeth in frustration. This war was getting tiresome. This stalemate was getting to him. His tribe needed more power! They can't survive being at par with everyone else. They needed to conquer or be conquered.
"Damn." he cursed, "If only I led the Embryon, none of this would have happened."
Heat walked into the strategy room and looked around. His eyes immediately narrowed as he saw Serph across from him. Serph looked back at him indifferently and somehow, Heat's blood boiled.
'Does he think that I'm not worth the competition? That arrogant bastard!'
Cielo walked in a few moments later, yawning out loud, "Man, why do we have to come so early ja?"
Gale, who stood beside Serph, had felt the tension rise between his two comrades, but was thankful that Cielo's humor had sliced through its thickening fog.
"Because this is a matter of urgency Cielo. Prudence is part of military discipline and not to mention-"
"Ja, ja brudda…I didn't ask for your life story…" Cielo drawled sleepily. Gale sighed; reasoning with Cielo in these matters was futile.
Heat sneered, 'After all, that guy's got crap for brains.'
"Gale, what's going on?"
The world seemed to freeze as he heard the female's voice. It sounded like his siren. He whipped around and saw Argilla. He looked her up and down. Again, her creamy legs were exposed to him as she walked briskly around the room and stopped in front of Serph. He sneered as he saw his leader smile warmly at her.
'It's all going to change soon…' he thought darkly.
"Alright. Let me present our plan," began Gale.
The dissemination machine showed a hologram and Gale nodded, "According to our scouts, the Vanguards and the Maribel are engaged in a skirmish. But it would seem that both Harley and Jinana are present."
Heat narrowed his eyes at the mention of the two tribes' leaders. He knew what Gale would say next.
"It would seem that the Vanguards have the upper hand. The Maribel would be planning a retreat. Our mission is to intercept them and assassinate Jinana."
All members nodded and had stern looks in their faces. They all were aware of how much was riding in this mission. If they had managed to defeat Jinana, the Maribel would join the Embryon. Their tribe would then be one step closer to achieving absolute power in the Junkland.
"The team will include of Serph, Argilla, Heat, Cielo and myself. We leave in half an hour. Are there any questions?"
Heat raised his hand and Gale turned to him.
"Positions?" he asked, his voice gruff.
Gale nodded, "As always, Serph would be at the center of the operation, along with Argilla as his support sniper."
Heat's eyes dangerously flashed red at Serph's direction. Serph met his glare with a steadfast gaze of his own only for a moment before turning his sight towards Argilla and then Gale.
Heat gritted his teeth as Serph ignored him.
"Heat, you will be positioned at the left flank, Cielo and I will located at the right flank."
Gale pointed at the hologram once more, "The location would be here," he pointed at the terrain that was filled debris, "It's excellent cover and the Maribel would not be expecting it."
"Any other questions?"
No one said anything and Gale nodded again, "Shall we proceed with the plan Serph?"
"Yes." Serph muttered.
"Then, you are all dismissed. Gather here in half an hour. We need to move quickly."
xxxxx
Heat put his cape around his shoulders and fastened it securely. His hands hastily grabbed his grenade launcher and inspected it. Seeing that everything was in order, he departed from his room and joined his comrades at the strategy room.
He was right on time; so was everyone else.
With a silent agreement amongst the team, they departed for their mission that would result in either success or failure; power gained or power lost.
xxxxx
It had been two weeks now, since that mission and Heat grew angrier and angrier. The mission had been a success and the Embryon leader was all the more loved and cherished by all. The fall of the Maribel to the Embryon was said to have not been possible if not for their leader. Heat didn't want to admit it, but they were right.
"Damn it…" he growled as he recalled the events in the battlefield.
Flashback
The perimeter was surrounded, and sure enough, the small squad of the Maribel headed by Jinana trudged through the muddy, yet rocky terrain.
The Embryon remained effectively concealed behind the rocks and boulders, with their jamming and stealth equipment in tact, making them virtually invisible and untraceable by the enemy. Every one of them looked at Serph intently as he himself gazed intensely at the Maribel leader. Heat stared at Serph and for but a moment, as fleeting as sunlight, he saw a flash of emotion on his leader's face as he gazed at the Maribel leader.
Heat scowled; was it a look of sympathy?
'Leaders shouldn't show emotion. Serph is too naïve and too weak.' he declared pompously. But then, his gaze wandered over to his companion. The object of his recently found inner desires. Argilla kept her gaze where she aimed her rifle; at the Maribel lieutenants. She looked so serious at her job. Heat blinked; Argilla had always been like that. She was as reliable and dependable as she looked. He just didn't know why it never occurred to him before.
Was it because that he began to see her in a new light?
In that instant, Serph's index finger had signaled the commencement of their offensive. Heat could feel the blood rush through his veins; his eyes widened and he felt his hands tremble-his excitement unconcealed and undeniable.
The first shot that broke through the thick, foggy air was from Argilla's rifle. The shot was direct and precise, hitting the Maribel officer directly in between the eyes. One after another they fell. Heat aimed his weapon at the small vehicle that trudged along with the soldiers and at once, it had blown up, killing all of its passengers.
The members of Embryon moved quickly, running and sliding through the mud and taking cover behind the rocky formations on the battlefield. Heat could hear himself as he laughed as he saw more soldiers die by his hand. But then, something else caught his eye; a Maribel sniper was aiming at Argilla.
He cursed. He would not let her die. He couldn't.
He cursed again as his quick mind had processed that his weapon had neither the proficiency nor the range to fire at the sniper. Calling out would be futile as the information would not be received in time; and so, he did the only thing he could do. He pushed her out of the way and took the bullet for her.
The pain shot through his system like a runaway freight train. He clutched his chest in pain as his breathing became labored and hoarse. His eyes began to take intervals between focusing and dilating and soon, his sight became blurry and foggy. He suddenly felt lightheaded and he could have sworn that his body as well as his spirit was about to succumb to eternal rest; until that time; that small and exact instant when he heard something. It was a voice; a distant voice that seemed to call out to him.
He tried to move his head and focus his eyes, one last time, in an attempt to get a glimpse of the person. Alas, with his sight deteriorating and sleep all but overwhelming him, a blurry silhouette was all that he saw. But, as he saw it, his soul and spirit seemed to have been revived as the silhouette belonged to none other the object of his attraction.
She had tears in her eyes and held him close to her bosom. Heat tugged his lips upwards, 'In this round…I win…I win Serph…' he gloated to himself weakly.
Then, it all went black.
End Flashback
He now lay there, on the hospital bed, crippled and bedridden, but alive and well. The shot that he had sustained had hit him in his right lung and had punctured it. It was a very serious wound, and no doubt about it, it could have killed him.
But then, Heat grinned wildly inwardly as he thought about it. He was alive and he had been the one to have saved Argilla's life. It was not Serph. In fact, Serph wasn't even near the scene where it happened. He had gone in for the kill and challenged Jinana.
In his mental scoreboard, this was a plus point for him, and a step closer to snatching her away from him.
She would notice him now, and possibly feel gratitude towards him.
Although he was bedridden, Heat was still pretty much conscious of his surroundings. His acute sense of hearing, for instance, would tell him whether there were people approaching his room. He had been in a coma for the first week and was semi-conscious by the beginning of the second week. And throughout the times when he was there, lost in the depths of unconsciousness, he could have sworn that he had heard her voice, calling out to him. He had been dreaming of her as well. Almost every night, when his eyes were closed and sleep overcoming him, she, his siren, would invite him in her folds of warmth and flesh.
He would feel her and see her as clear as day itself. The dreams were persistent and insistent, bringing Heat's dwindling self-control one step closer to being fully released. He would see himself claiming her. Yes, he wanted her. Badly.
Heat closed his eyes wearily. Despite having rest for a fortnight now, his body still felt beaten and broken. He took a deep breath and allowed sleep to take him.
Moments later, his slumber was interrupted as he felt a person step into the room.
'Probably the nurse…' he told himself dryly, clearly uninterested.
The figure walked into the room with light steps, as if taking every precaution of being undetected by the patient. Heat stiffened his muscles as he felt the figure move about in the room. Who was it? Who would come to see him? But as he recalled the idea of the nurse, he forced himself to relax a bit more and so, had his eyes to remain shut.
The same said eyes, however, shot open immediately as he felt a warm sensation in his right hand; the figure had grasped it. And by the feel of it, the hand was small; smaller than his own and was soft to the touch. It was a female's hand.
He turned his head slowly to get a clear look of his visitor, who was obviously not the nurse.
Heat could feel his inner self jump around in glee as he gazed at the woman before him. As he had expected, it had been Argilla. No doubt, she felt gratified towards him.
Heat opened his mouth to say something but Argilla had put her fingers against his lips to silence him. She smiled warmly and gratefully and parted her lips, "I…wanted to thank you for what you've done for me Heat. If it weren't for you, I'd not be here right now. I just wanted you to know that I am…grateful. Thank you. You are a true comrade." she said in a tone of undeniable truth.
Heat's eyes were all in the while locked onto hers and he could see that she had really meant what she had just told him. His chest felt lighter for some reason. Was this the heart that Gale spoke of?
He said nothing and let his eyes trail down towards where she held his hand. Argilla blushed as she followed his gaze and then, a little abruptly, pulled her hand from his.
"Well, I better get going. I have training exercises in ten minutes. I'll visit again. Stay alive Heat."
With those words, she made her way out of the room.
'Damn straight…' Heat said exasperatedly, 'I can't stay in this damn bed! I gotta get outta here!'
xxxxx
Another two weeks had passed and Heat's recovery was astounding. The physicians had deemed him ready to leave in three more days. Heat grinned; he couldn't wait to start walking again and put his plan to best Serph in motion once more.
But then, at the thought of Serph, Heat felt the vigor stream away from his system. That was right; he would have to return to the realistic world; a world dominated by Serph. Argilla, throughout the course of her visits had mentioned that the Maribel had indeed fallen to the Embryon. She had spoken of how Jinana was defeated at the hands of their "mighty leader". Heat sneered at the thought, 'Anyone could best that Maribel weakling!'
But still, the facts were irrefutable. Serph had indeed proved himself as Embryon's worthy leader; worthy to keep the position. He was strong; and with this successful campaign, he would get even more support.
'While I on the other hand, am lying here, twiddling my thumbs!' he growled at himself as he surveyed his helpless state.
But then, he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. There were always more ways to skin the cat. He would destroy Serph but he would be using an unconventional way.
He would be using her.
Heat allowed his mind to travel over to Argilla. Clearly she was attractive and if the plan went well, he would be hitting two birds with one stone. While using her, he would destroy Serph and on the other hand, he would have her. Oh yes, this was a victory that he would relish for a long, long time.
Heat's lips twisted in a malicious grin, she would not refuse him.
'And even if she did, that won't stop me!' he promised dangerously, 'She'd be mine, whether she liked it or not.'
xxxxx