does it really matter what color you are?
It's weird and it's strange to finally have someone actually care for him.
Throughout most of his life, he's always been enslaved by the system, always reaching out for the things that most people took for granted. He was always treated as this savage beast, all because of a hue that wasn't deemed acceptable by society. He was always told that no matter how hard he tried, no matter what treatment they suggested, there would be no way of changing his psychology. He was in too deep to even know that blessing of a light colored hue.
So when his boss, his new caretaker, keeps coming to him for little dates after their stressful shifts, he feels flattered. Maybe it's the way she smiles and keeps her heart on her sleeve, but he finds her innocence oddly comforting. (And of course, he has to remember that Enforcers and Inspectors weren't meant to be together.) While he has to be born a blight in this 'immaculate' system, while she was created to be an angel, a role model. Sometimes, he feels a burning jealousy that completely engulfs him and thinks horrid things. He knows that he scares himself, but it feels addicting to imagine, to wonder what it would be like if he could act like a criminal for once.
and then his hue darkens and he starts seeing red.
Whenever he looks at her, all he sees is a young, bright, youthful woman who has much offer the world. There's hope in her eyes—can you blame him for wanting to covet that innocence and keep it for his own? Her words, her encouragement, her ability to think about the positive things in a situation—that's all he sees and that's all he ever wants to see. To see her broken down by the realities that this world has created in order to be considered a utopia alarms him…
But wouldn't it be fun just to see her down on the floor, to have all her hopes and dreams of a routing society completely stripped away? The part of his mind that feels and acts like a latent criminal cries in his mind. He wants to have some fun with the girl; he wants to talk in his caustic voice, to know what sort of damage that he can cause her. It's unhealthy, to always chide himself not to actually do anything than act like a normal hunting dog, but he biting against his collar and pulling against his leash. He wants to know how far he can go.
how far can he go until all he sees is murky darkness?
Perhaps, Ginoza is right, he thinks to himself. Maybe latent criminals are monsters that deserve to be treated as such. (But then he remembers of a small, scared little boy who didn't have an inkling of what was happening to him). Nightmares haunt his dreams and his games only distract him from what is really going on in the world. He claims to be knowledgeable and smart, but it's far from the truth. He has always been chained to the walls of a secluded area; he never had the luxury to choose who he really wanted to be.
He envies those people who never had to worry about tanking to the bottom of society, and he envies her most of all.
But all that changes because he's…well…
but now everything has faded into black.
The redhead scratched the back of his head as he watches the young brunette stare back at him in shock. She looks like she's about to call for a therapist or fall down crying. While he would have welcomed outbursts of` emotion, he doesn't want to feel guilty if his presence was causing her psycho pass to go up a few points. So instead of staring at her, he decided to say something.
After all, he needs to say goodbye sooner or later.
"You can stop staring at me like that, Akane. I know I'm dead and I know that you probably want to seek out mental help." He scratches his head—he's not sure how he's doing that other than the fact that he can feel himself—before saying, "I'm not sure if that'll be good after recent events."
Both of them knew that was an understatement. If Ginoza knew about this development, he would make sure that she got chained to a therapist or something.
The brunette stared at him in a mixture of shock and fear. Emotions that he was well acquainted with appeared on her face, which confused him. Was being dead really that bad? Considering that they were both in a culture that rejected the supernatural and worshipped the logical, he could guess that this could only be accepted.
"You okay?" He felt a wayward smirk appear on his face as he tried his hardest to keep the situation light. There was only so much he could before he would feel the pull to go somewhere else. After all, dead people like him had to go somewhere else after death, right? "You look like you've seen a ghost."
ghosts are nonexistent; they have no color; there can be no discrimination.
Fortunately for the young Enforcer, he didn't have to actually fake most of his jocular manner. Akane made up for her previous reservations about a dead young man visiting her while she was on duty by hiding a smile behind her hand. Kagari let out a smile at her subdued reaction before becoming serious again.
"Kou's not here? That's not like him to be this late in the week…" He lets his voice trail off as he watches Akane's face fall flat at his observation. There's sadness and longing that wasn't there when Kagari was still alive. What was wrong? Did-did Kougami finally let his anger and lust for Makishima take over his mental state? From the look in Akane's eyes, that was completely the case. In only a few seconds, Kagari had deduced the past events that occurred when he was gone.
"He's gone. He left to kill Makishima."
and just like that, all the colors are swarming around him now in a protective flurry.
Kagari had a hard time processing Akane's seemingly sane state of mind as she stated the fact that Kougami had left and went to murder someone. Maybe it was the shred of normalcy that Kagari still retained, but that was something that Kou wouldn't do. Would he?
In order to defuse the situation—or maybe he wants to restore normality?—he laughs and tugs at his hair in an attempt to appear carefree instead of a beast that had just left its cage.
"Funny, Akane! Very funny! I bet Kou just forgot to come here or maybe you shot him again!" His light brown eyes look deeply into hers and he knows that it is not the case. It seems, that when he died…
"I-I'm not sure if we're ever going to see him again."
Kagari became startled by how her voice cracked and how her eyes seemed to moisten and fill with unshed tears. He knows that that he isn't corporeal and he is more than likely to scare her off, but what he's going to do next was worth the try. Carefully, he drifted closer to her because he can't seem to make his legs work and he just lets his form hover her body in a comforting manner.
"Don't worry, we'll both find Kou and we can take turns beating him up if you want."
"Kagari!" Akane yelps, completely scandalized.
He doesn't miss the shadow of a grin on her face.
but in the end, color doesn't matter.
He also doesn't miss the shadow of feeling the living once again as he leans down and pulls her closer to him. He was never interested in the sciences, so he doesn't let his mind dwell on the fact that he's holding her close and tight against him. There's a feeling inside him that knows that this moment is fleeting and that time is working against him. His brain is going into overdrive, but his heart is calm and serene. What could have possessed him to even think of tainting this young woman for his own amusement? She's perfect the way she was, angelic and powder blue.
He has his precious angel and for once he feels whole and pure again. To be this close to this one person who never looked down on him because of who he was and what he turned out to be, he would have never dreamed for a better farewell.
And so, without any regrets, he feels himself fading from life and his arms slipping away from her body.
He can only hope the best for her now.
everything's a shade of melancholic white.
"Bye Akane."
another name for a powder blue farewell.