A/N: Here it is, that little something special just for you. This is an alternate ending, how things could have happened after chapter 15. It's how I wanted to end things, but I went for the happy ending instead. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters.
Alternate Ending: Part 1
It had been a week, seven heart-wrenching days, since I lost her. My Bella. I still couldn't think her name without hyperventilating.
Those first few days, I was numb. I wouldn't believe that she was gone. I couldn't. It seemed so surreal. I kept waiting to wake up from this nightmare. That or have someone jump out and say, "Just kidding. It was all a cruel joke."
I could tell my family worried for me as I stayed locked in my room, staring at the wall until I passed out from exhaustion. They didn't understand. I still believed she would come walking through the door.
But the days wore on, and she wasn't there. On the fifth day, it finally sunk in.
Never again would I hear her gorgeous voice. Nor would I see her radiant smile. I'd not smile as she chastised me for some sarcastic remark. She'd not laugh with me ever again. Never would she know that I love her still, and I always would.
That day was the worst. I don't know what I would have done to myself if Emmett and Jasper hadn't restrained me the entire day while I writhed in pain.
Her funeral was today. The only reason I would even think about getting up. I was still undecided as to whether or not I would.
I couldn't imagine the thought of saying my final goodbyes to her. I couldn't imagine getting only one last glimpse of her face.
I could, however, imagine all the people. The people that knew nothing about her, who had know right to be there. Then again, I was the only person who truly understood her, and even I didn't deserve to be there.
Charlie would talk about her, then her mother, Alice, and finally me. What would I say? How could I say anything without breaking down?
I heard my door open, then small footsteps.
"Edward," came Alice's quiet voice. "We're leaving now."
"I'm not going with you."
"Edward, you have to go," she scolded, though her voice was constricted with grief.
"I am going. Just not with you. There's something I need to do first."
"Ok." I heard the door close shortly after.
I stood and examined my room. A chair was broken in the left corner, and there was a hole in the wall by my bed. That was the most damage I could do before Emmett got a hold of me.
I walked out to my Volvo, and then started down the familiar path to her house. Her truck was the only vehicle in the driveway. Her father had already left for the funeral.
I made my way up the short path and used the key under the eave to unlock the door. I bet she never noticed when I watched her do the very same thing.
Once I was in her room, heart-breaking nostalgia washed over me. It smelled just like her. It was exactly as she had left it.
Remembering those last few words, I went to her desk and opened the top drawer. A CD was lying in it with the words 'For Edward' written across it. I pulled it out and went back to my car.
I was driving down the highway when I finally decided to listen to it. I put the CD into the radio and waited. Imagine my surprise when I heard Bella's lovely voice come through the speakers.
"Hey Edward. If you're listening to this now, I'm probably not with you anymore. Let me start out by saying I am so sorry. Sorry I didn't tell you, sorry that I lied, and sorry that I caused you pain. It was never my intention."
"But this CD isn't for apologies. In a way, I guess I'm hoping that it will help you. I want you to listen to this and remember me when we were happy. Especially with this first song."
I listened for the song that would supposedly make me happy. And, surprisingly, I laughed when it came on. It was just like Bella to do something like this.
Here is a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry be happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy...
I sang along till the end.
"I know you are probably laughing at me right now, but that is good. I want you to be happy, Edward."
The next few songs were some of our favorites. Walking on Sunshine (another ploy to make me smile), Bad Day, If Everyone Cared, and The River. I smiled a sad smile when River Flows In You came on.
"I was surprised that day when you remembered that was my favorite song. I think that was the day I fell in love with you."
Her voice was thick, and I could tell she was crying when she said this. Tears rolled down my face as I listened to her.
"This next song is kind of how I feel right now. I want you to know that I'm not scared, Edward. I'm okay with it when my time comes."
I waited anxiously, curious about this song.
Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there
Say goodnight
Don't be afraid
Calling me calling me as you fade to black
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
I pulled over at the side of the road and cried.
"I want you to listen closely to this next one Edward. It's very important."
You can't quit until you try
You can't live until you die
You can't learn to tell the truth
Until you learn to lie
You can't breathe until you choke
You gotta laugh when you're the joke
There's nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive
Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
that no one will cry at my funeral?
I know some things that you don't
I've done things that you won't
There's nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home
I was waiting for my hearse
What came next was so much worse
It took a funeral to make me feel alive
Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
that no one will cry at my funeral?
Alive...
Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
and see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
that no one will cry at my funeral?
Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
and see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
that no one will cry at my funeral?
Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
and see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
that no one will cry at my funeral?
I couldn't take any more of this. I moved my hand to turn the radio off, but I stopped when I heard her angelic voice.
"It is vital that you listen to me, Edward. I know that your stubborn self probably wants to turn this off right now, but you can't." I let out a strangled laugh. She knew me so well.
"You have let it go. I want you to be happy. I need you to be happy. You will not give up on life and you will not hurt yourself. Please, as my last wish, try your hardest to be happy. I love you so much. I just wish I 'd had the courage to tell you sooner. I will always love you. Goodbye Edward."
I was sobbing at this point. A million thoughts raced through my mind. But one stuck out. I would respect Bella's last wish.
I worked to gain control, then pulled back onto the road. I had a funeral to go to.
Alice was just now finishing her speech. She had barely made it through, she was crying so hard. I walked up to the podium as she scrambled down. I had been worried about this earlier, but I suddenly knew just what to say.
"Isabella Marie Swan was amazing. She was compassionate, caring, loveable, and so much more. She was the kind of person who would always make jokes, no matter how bad the situation. She was incredibly selfless, putting everyone before herself. And she was my best friend."
"She was there for me when I needed her. She was modest to the point of insanity. She was gorgeous, but never believed it. She could always put a smile on my face. She was my inspiration, my hope, and my light. I loved her more than anything in this world."
"It is a great loss we mourn today. But I know for a fact that she would not want us to mourn. She would want us to be happy, joyous even. She is in a better place now, a place where she no longer hurts."
"I will miss her so much. Her memory will live on with me until the day I die. I love you Bella."
I walked down from the podium amidst the tears and sobs, though I did not shed a tear. Bella wouldn't have wanted that.
I waited as everyone gathered at the coffin, saying their last goodbyes. I wanted to be last.
As the last people walked away, I made my up and looked down on her gorgeous face. She was flawless, as beautiful as ever.
"Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty."
I placed my hand upon her cold, smooth cheek.
"How do I live without you?" I whispered as a few traitor tears brimmed over.
"It was always you Bella. I love you so much. Why did you have to leave me? I-I can't do this. I can't be without you. Those three years I lived without you were miserable. I never told you that did I? So much I never said."
"Did you know that I punched the guy who told you girls can't play football when we were fourteen? That was why he had a black eye Monday at school. I lied when I told you I didn't know anything about it." I laughed as a few more tears fell. "Oh, and it was my idea to re-do the guest room. I know you hate surprises, but I thought you deserved it."
"I…I will try Bella. I promise you that. For you, I will try."
"Eyes, look your last! Arms, take your last embrace!"
I took her fragile face between my hands.
"And, lips, O you the doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss."
I leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her perfect lips. I pulled back and wiped away a few stray tears that had landed on her cheek.
"I know that was long after due, but better late than never. Right?" I choked out.
"I love you, Bella." I placed another kiss on her forehead and stepped back from my one and only love.
A/N: And it doesn't end there. I will post Part 2 sometime soon. Now for all the boring credit stuff.
Lyrics-
1st song- Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin
2nd song- My Last Breath by Evanescence
3rd song- Life Is Beautiful by Sixx:A.M.
Quotes-
End Quotes italicized from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet