Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.
Silence
Silence.
All around her was silence. No yelling, no sounds; just the sound of her breathing filled her ears. Not too long ago, she wished for nothing but silence. Now she cursed at it. Silence used to be the only thing to bring her peace. But then, he happened and now she despised it.
She walked around in the dark, empty, silent room to sit on the couch. She stared at nothing, silently wishing that the silence would be filled with sound. But not just any sound…his sound.
The sound of his strides as he walked. The sound of his smile creeping on his face. The sound of his breathing, a whisper from his lips, his voice. Something from him, but there was none.
It was 1:30 in the morning and everyone was asleep except for three Titans, including herself. The other two were out…with each other.
How she hated the taunting silence. It's the thing that got her into this mess.
She gave him her love in it.
She doesn't remember when it happened or how it happened. No, strike that, it happened in silence. She also knew that it took a long while to see and accept these feelings that tugged at her heart strings constantly. That much she knew but that was all.
She sighed an aggravated sigh, filling the room with a few seconds of sound. She would sleep, but then the silence would keep her awake.
"How pathetic," she muttered.
She couldn't even seek peace or comfort in her room; her sanctuary. There was nothing but silence in there! The only sounds that were ever heard in there was her breathing, the chanting of her mantra, cries from a nightmare, and the breaking of a candle or a statue.
No…that's not completely true. That room has heard one thing more, once.
She had a nightmare like she had many times before and woke up crying. She heard him call her name from the darkness in worry. She stared at him for a while before she bowed her head and continued to cry. He brought her into his strong arms and cradled her against his chest as if she were a babe. He whispered to her in attempt to find out what was wrong. But she just cried and
clung onto him for dear life. He was her proof that the dream wasn't real. He soon decided it was futile and comforted her in every way he could. He laid with her and stroked her hair, whispering comforting words to her. His whispers soon became a sweet hum as he lulled her back to sleep.
It's been three weeks since that night and she hasn't slept in her room for more than two hours.
"This is ridiculous," she hissed as she got up to look out the window.
Why him? Why him, of all people, did her heart have to go to? Why him, of all people, make her feel things?
Why did she beg for silence for years and when she finally gets it, she hates it?
"Someone up there must hate me," she whispered as she peered out the window.
Movement caught her eye as she looked out. She looked down on the beach and saw yellow hair dancing in the night. Her blood boiled.
She was jealous, there was no deny that…to herself. But it also was that she waited too long.
She lied and she hid. All she ever does is lie and hide!
She refused to accept that she was in love. She tried to close her eyes and pretend it wasn't true, it wasn't there. She lied whenever he would do anything that could possibly be called flirting. Saying she had no interest and no business doing such trifle things. When in truth she did have interest. She did have business. And it was not trifle.
But then, she appeared and his attention was taken elsewhere. With her smile, her laugh, her…presence.
She sighed, "I have no one to blame but myself."
The blondes arm was wrapped around his as they walked along the beach. Smiling and laughing at whatever he had said.
The poor girl could do nothing but stare with longing eyes.
How she wanted to tell him but what good would it do. He wouldn't leave her for the world. No matter what she has done to him or his 'family' he will always return.
"It's better to keep it in your heart than lay it out for it to bleed and hurt," she whispered.
She sighed and laid down on the couch, feeling her eyes get heavy. She knew that when her eyes get heavy she had to grab that bit of sleep before the feeling of fatigue passed. In a matter of minutes, she was asleep with silence as her blanket.
Raven walked along the straight street. There were no buildings, no cars, no pedestrians, nothing. Just a grey street and darkness.
"Hello?" Raven called as she walked.
"Hellooo."
"Hello."
"Hello, hello…" voices from the darkness called.
Raven looked around, feeling fear and panic creep into her system.
"Who are you?"
"The question is who are you?" the voices said back, "We know who you are."
"Y-you do?"
"Yes, child," the eerie voices said, "You are an unloved demon, who nobody cares about."
"What? No!" Raven said.
"Why yes child. No one will care whether you live or die. Better yet they will celebrate when you're long gone."
"No, that's not true," Raven said as the tears began to fall.
"Oh?" the voices said."
Out of the darkness, Robin's face peered through.
"She's a rotten demon and should've never been on this team!"
"What?! Robin! No, that's not true! He wouldn't say that!"
Robin's face disappeared but was replaced with Starfire.
"Raven is evil and untrustworthy!" she said.
"No, no…" Raven said as more tears fell from her eyes.
Starfire continued, "She is a poor excuse for a friend and she would be better off dead!"
Raven felt her knees weaken as her body shook with emotion.
Starfire's face faded away as Cyborg's came to replace it.
"She should've never existed. She should have been destroyed."
"Please stop…" she whispered. Silence seemed like a nice thing at that moment.
"NO!"
Raven looked back up and saw Terra's evil face staring down at her.
"You need to hear and know how repulsive you are! You need to just drop dead and leave. No one cares about you, Raven! No one cares!"
"And no one certainly loves you," Logan's, formerly known as Beastboy, face appeared next to Terra's.
"Ugh I'm disgusted that you even love me," he spat.
Terra scoffed, "And to think you touched that-that…thing!"
"I was just trying to forget," he growled.
"You see, Raven," Terra said, sounding closer to her. Raven looked off to the side and saw Terra and Logan standing side by side. Logan's arms were wrapped around her small waist while Terra's were around his neck.
"No one loves you," she said before she placed her lips on Logan's and kissed him.
"No one loves you," the voices repeated.
"You're better off dead," they said.
"You're evil!"They yelled.
"Go rot in Hell!"The voices got closer and closer to her.
"Die!" Their words burned and tore at her.
"Hey Raven," he said.
She looked up and saw him looking back at her with glaring eyes.
"You're mother should have killed you when she had the chance," he whispered, menacingly.
Raven's heart shattered as the voices continued to pierce her like knives, burn her like fire, and break her like glass. She prayed for it to be over and all of it not true.
"Raven!" someone called in worry.
She bolted up, screaming in terror, as she left the disturbing dream.
"Raven, what is it? What's wrong?" the worried voice said.
Wait…she knew that voice.
She looked over and saw Logan's emerald eyes staring at her in concern.
"Raven," he whispered gently as his fingers reached to touch her wet cheeks.
She stared at him and did what she did the last time.
Cry.
She bowed her head and wept.
Logan automatically, wrapped his arms around her, sliding her off the couch and onto his lap. He cradled her like he did before and kissed her hair.
"There, there," he cooed, "It's okay. It was just a dream. It's not real…"
"Those voices," she sobbed, "those horrible voices…"
Logan looked down at her, "What did the voices say?"
"Mean, horrible things," she said, between her cries.
"What did they say?" he stressed. The last time she told him absolutely nothing about the dream. But now she was saying at least a little something.
"Just…those voices…"she repeated.
He sighed and rubbed her back gently. He placed his chin against on top of her head as he tried to soothe her troubles away.
He saw her when he and Terra first came in and she seemed to be sleeping peacefully. So they let her be and went to their rooms to sleep. But sleep denied Logan. Something was telling him that something was wrong and so he decided to visit Raven again. He blamed his animal instincts. Anyway, when he came in he saw Raven tossing and turning. Crying in her sleep.
He looked out and saw a bit of light trying to burst past the dark. He decided to get her out of the common room before anyone wakes up. He picked her up gently, bridal style and walked the bathroom.
He set down on the toilet seat lid and tried to reach for a wash cloth. But when he let go she leaned for him and clung.
"No, don't go," she whispered.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm just getting a wash cloth," he said gently.
"I don't want to be alone," she cried, "I don't want to be in the silence. The voices may come back."
"I won't. I promise," said Logan.
He slowly moved to see if she were to cling once again but instead her arms slid off him. He quickly got the wash cloth and rinsed it under cold water. He came back and placed the wet cloth gently on her face. Her crying slowed but tears still poured from her eyes.
After awhile, he finished washing her face and carried her to her room. But when she saw her room she said no.
"Why not?" he asked.
"It's too silent," she whispered as she snuggled closer to him, if that were possible.
He didn't understand but he decided against saying anything. He walked to his room and entered. He sat down carefully on the bed and moved to the center of it. He knew she didn't want to let go of him just yet. He wrapped his arms around like he did earlier, pulling her into his lap.
He started to whisper to her like he had before. Cradled her like he had before. And soon he began to hum like he had before.
The silence was filled with him once again. He hummed and he hummed to her giving her mind the peace it so longingly desired.
Her crying came to a cease and was replaced with soft and gentle breathing.
Logan looked down at the purple haired woman that laid in his arms and smiled. He looked up at the ceiling and recalled all of the day's events.
Logan sat across from Terra, watching her eat. He just couldn't get it. No matter how many times he look at her or touched her or even kissed her…he couldn't get Raven out of his mind. For the past few years, he had noticed how beautiful she was.
How she seemed to dance when she walked. How bright her smile was (whenever she spared one). How she spoke. Everything. He noticed these small little things and loved them.
Every day and every moment he saw her, he liked her more. That like grew to love at some point. He didn't know when but he knew he loved her. It took awhile. It took a long while for him to realize it and accept it (which happened at the same time). But in the end, he did notice the burning feeling.
Terra looked up from her food to him.
"What?" she said while she smiled.
"Nothing, just thinking," he said.
She cocked her head to the side, "About what?"
He shook his head, "Tell you about it later."
She nodded and continued with her food.
Terra was his girlfriend that much was obvious. But what wasn't was that he was in love with someone else. That he was bored of the relationship he was in. It no longer had the intense passion that- wait…it never did. They were too alike to have that intense passion he craved.
He folded his lips in for a moment before he turned back to his food.
The date dragged on until the two finally decided to head back home. Terra was heading for the door when Logan called her.
She turned to look back at him, "Yes?"
Logan released his lips for the umpteenth time that day and sighed, "Come take a walk with me."
Terra furrowed her eyebrows for a moment before shrugging and walking back over to him. She wrapped her arm around his as they proceeded to walk together.
They walked in the slight silence. Listening to the waves lap against the rocks and the wind blow pass them.
"Beautiful night," Logan said, out of the blue.
"Yeah," she said, not really taking it, "What's this about Logan?"
He sighed, "A lot of things."
"Okay, I'll bite. What are these things?"
"Terra, remember when we first met and I just fell for you right then and there?"
"Yeah," she chuckled, "You couldn't even say your name right."
"Yeah," he said, "and remember when you came back I fainted when you kissed my cheek?"
"Yeah," Terra said unsurely, "Logan, where are you going with this?"
He sighed again, "I'm…I've been noticing something."
"What?"
"…I…don't feel that way about you…anymore," he said carefully.
"How do you mean?"
"I…I don't like you…like that, Terra," he finished.
He looked at her to see her reaction. Surprisingly, she was rather…calm.
"I knew it," she breathed as her arm slid out of his, "You've been…I don't know…out of it lately."
She walked ahead for a moment until she reached the edge of the shore.
She breathed, "I just thought it was a phase."
Logan sighed, "Look Terra, I'm sorry. It's just-."
"No, you don't…you don't have to do that for me," she said turning to face him. She crossed her arms across her chest, "You don't have to explain."
He saw the tears bridge underneath her eyes as she sniffled here and there. He sighed again as he looked out onto the surface.
"Yeah, yeah I do, Terr," he said softly but loud enough for her to hear, "I…I'm in love with…s-someone else."
"Oh, who?" she asked, "Someone I know?"
"Someone you're not too fond off," he said, looking back at her.
Her face held a shock expression as she processed this new information. She looked away from him, finding the rock underneath her more interesting.
"Oh," was the only thing she could say.
Logan licked his lips, "She doesn't know, Terra. She doesn't even know that I like her."
Terra look up with a sad smile on her face, "Oh?"
He nodded, "The sad thing is that…I have loved her silently for…I don't even know how long."
She pressed her lips together for a moment, "You should tell her. Otherwise, um…you'll be torn into…shreds."
He looked at her, "I'm already torn; can't you tell?"
She let out a sad chuckle as she looked at the ground. Logan smiled a little as he walked up to her.
"You are taking this way better than I thought you would," said Logan as his fingers flutter under her chin.
"Oh don't worry, I'm going to be crying myself to sleep tonight," she joked.
He laughed a little before he sighed, "I'm truly sorry, Terra."
She smiled, "Don't be. I just…wasn't your intended. I think we both knew that."
He sighed as he looked back down at the beauty that was Raven. Her breathing was soft now. If it wasn't for his heightened hearing, he would barely be able to hear her.
"The silence has to go away, sometime. And one day…my love for you won't be silent anymore," he whispered before he kissed her hair and closed his eyes.
There was no more silence. The sound of their hearts and the whisper of their breaths had pushed it all away. But their love, their longing love, for each other…was as silent as ever.
A/n: Just a little something I had in the back of my mind. Inspired by "Silence," by Selena Cross. Maybe this will give my "Dealers" an idea of what to expect for the next chapter. Anyway, that's all for now…Peace!
Bleeding Writer