Stop My Heart
The first thing Alfred saw when he walked into freshman hall was everyone sitting deathly silent, and people crying softly. As Alfred climbed to the top of the stairs he wondered what had happened. Slowly a couple of his friends entered the gloomy hall. His best friend, Matthew Williams, walked in and sat down next to Alfred.
Alfred looked at Matt and took in his friend's appearance. Matthew's shoulder length blonde hair looked messier than normal; now that he's looking Mattie looks messier period. His indigo eyes were rimmed with red.
"What's wrong, dude, what happened," Whispered Alfred.
"Al, I'm sorry, but that boy you liked, Arthur Kirkland…H-he killed himself," answered the Canadian.
Alfred felt shock sweeping over him. Arthur, the boy he had liked since he met him under a tree…was dead.
"What, why. H-he seemed f-fine in class yesterday." Alfred said trying to trap the tears trying to escape his cerulean eyes.
"No, Francis called me last night and told me,"Matt said fresh tears beginning to fall.
"D-do you know h-how he died," asked Al.
Matthew silently shook his head and motioned for Francis to come over. Stopping at the bottom of the stairs Francis looked up at he two blondes crying at the top of the stairs.
"Francis, d-do you know h-how Arthur died," inquired the crying boy.
Francis sniffled wiping his eyes, and cleared his throat.
" Oui, he, he h-hung himself." the French student answered.
Slowly the group migrated down the stairs into the hallway, joining the larger circle of their friends. Those who knew Matthew best crying and the others comforting them.
Then the Physics teacher, professor Romulus, entered the hallway. A few years before now another boy had killed himself, like him Arthur was close to the teacher. Prof. Romulus had tears streaming down his eyes, and it hurt Alfred to see the carefree man so broken down. It was that moment that made the fact that Arthur, his Artie, was dead. Prof. Romulus told every one in the hall to grab a' hold of each other's hands.
Alfred, along with the rest of his group of friends, joined the other freshmen and held hands. Prof. Romulus put all of his passion, and pain into the words he spoke.
"We are a family, and I know you're hurtin' but you gotta go on. Help each other through this. Stick together, I want you to know that Art he is still here, as long as we keep him in our memory."
Alfred now was sobbing quietly, he watched as everyone around him did the same. Although some didn't know Artie very well, they still felt grief, because now they won't get the chance.
Prof. Romulus told everyone to hug on to someone and to never let them go. Alfred pulled Matt into a hug, he hugged him back and cried into Al's chest as Al cried into his shoulder.
"A-Al," Mattie shakily said, "What are you going to do now?"
Alfred wiped his eyes and blew his nose with the tissue offered by Matthew. He put his hand in his pocket and touched the letter he was going to give Art confessing his love.
"I d-don't know Mattie," he said, "I'll move on some day."
Matthew nodded his head, and pulled Alfred into another hug. Then the inter-com came on announcing first hour.
First hour for Alfred went by in a teary eyed blur. For the whole class he pictured the messy blonde hair he wished he had been able to run his hands through, and the emerald eyes that always shined when Al saw him. As the people in his class went off in groups, Alfred found that he was alone in the room. He looked out the window and saw the soccer team heading to the soccer field. He walked out of the classroom and went to his locker.
Kiku, a Japanese boy, was at his locker with a Ukrainian girl named Katyusha. They saw Al was alone and took him to their first hour. When Alfred walked in the room he saw the rest of his friends sitting there. For awhile things almost seemed normal. It felt like if Alfred looked up he would see Artie sitting there, holding a book or fighting with Francis, but then Al remembered that Art won't be there, he's gone. He took his own life.
The rest of the day was a blur for Alfred. He went through the movements of normal life, but all his friends could tell that he was a shadow of his normal hyper-active self.
Alfred watched as everyone started to leave the school grounds from under his tree, the tree where he first met Arthur. He turned his back on the kids who were going to their cars and driving off; he looked down and started to cry once again.
After who knows how long Alfred heard footsteps, bringing his head up from where it had been hidden by his hands, he saw all of his friends as they sat down under the large tree. As a group they sat together, and in that moment it hit Alfred, they were just another family mourning one of their own. In that moment Alfred realized that even though his heart had been stopped, he knew that he'd have to figure out a way to get better.
Taking the love letter that Arthur would never see, Alfred took a pen and wrote five words before ripping the paper and watching as the wind took it away.
'Good bye, I love you.'
Hey everyone, this was written for one of my friends who killed himself. This was how my day went on the day we all found out so Alfred is myself. Please no hate on this, and thanks for reading, as always I would like your feed back and comments. Thank you.
