It has been ninety years since the Unification, the greatest ninety years humankind has ever seen. My name is irrelevant. This shall suffice: you know me, and you praise me, and you love me. I have been with Harry Potter since the earliest days of his glorious rise. I know him well, better than anyone. For the purposes of writing this biography, I have spent many weeks in his radiant presence – a gift more valuable than any I can imagine. I wish to impart this gift onto every man that fights in the Emperor's name.
All know that the Emperor's mortal parents were slain by the Daemon Prince of Ten Thousand Hells V-ld-m-rt. All know that the Emperor was raised in the house of his aunt and uncle, ordinary mortals both. But few are those that know that James the Eternal and Lily the Sacred Flower laid the foundation for his wondrous birth. Many know that Saint Dudley was for years the sworn enemy of God-Emperor Harry Potter. But few are those that know that Dudley went as far as selling his soul to the forces of Chaos, before storming the palace of Slaanesh to get it back, besting a hundred Chaos Champions in one-on-one combat. Many are those that know of Angel-Governor Ron's former fear of spiders. Few are those that know of his ten week fight against Aragog, servant of Nurgle – entirely to overcome it.
This portrait that I paint is the complete history of the God-Emperor, with not a single thing of importance omitted. The Emperor knows of this project, and has blessed it fully. This shall be my greatest work.
By the Emperor's sacred name, Potter's will be done!