The first time Viola meets Sebastian she is surprised and more than a little delighted. This boy in front of her seems a little softer than the other boys at Illyria, and when he scrambles to pick up Olivia's papers stumbling over words and muttering apologies, she can't help when her heart melts just a little. And then she cringes internally as Principal Gold spouts something about the male and female interactions and how it is so important to high school socializing. Honestly, how can a grown man be so socially awkward? So, when Sebastian offers to walk her to her next class she agrees hastily for two reasons; one, she wants to get away from Gold as fast as she can. And two, Sebastian seems generally nice, and pretty for a guy, and awesome, and okay maybe she needs to stop rambling in her head and actually make conversation with this boy beside her.
"So, you're new here?" she asks, finding her voice.
For the past several long seconds Viola is mentally freaking out. She's really trying not to get too attached to people here. Viola knows she is only staying for this year to prove that she can make the boys soccer team and she doesn't want anything or anyone to really distract her from that. But if she is really honest with herself this past couples of weeks have been really lonely. The boys on the team are nice; as is her roommate, Duke, but if she is being honest with herself they are just all really…dumb. And she hates thinking that, she really does, but she misses girls and their conversation, and their pretty hair, and wait, what? Where did that even come from? But before Viola can ponder those thoughts, Olivia's soft alto interrupts her. And Viola has to replay the last couple of minutes in her head before she realizes that the other girl had asked her a question,
"Uhm, what? Oh, yeah. New student. That's me. I uhm, transferred here from Cornwall." Viola makes a face trying to convey her playful distaste for her old school that is her new rival and she gets Olivia to laugh. Viola smiles at the sound, not understanding why making this blonde girl in front of her laugh gives her a funny light feeling in her chest, but choosing to ignore it for right now.
"Well, this is my next class actually." Olivia says, stopping abruptly in front of her science room. Viola bumps into her back and before she can take a step back out of the girl's personal space, Olivia turns around and Viola's breath catches in her chest. The girl in front of her is beautiful, like model goddess beautiful.
Olivia is having a similar experience. She notices that Sebastian's eyes are almost an emerald green and his skin looks really soft. He is literally the prettiest guy she has ever met. And Olivia can feel her chest tighten and a familiar ache settle between her legs. It takes another moment of staring before Olivia realizes that they have been sharing each other's breath for almost a minute now before she finally backs up.
"Wow, sorry I just spaced out for a second there." Olivia says quietly looking at her shoes. When she doesn't hear anything from Sebastian she chances a look up, and notices that the boy is looking at her with an almost quizzical look on his face. Almost like he is trying to figure out everything she is. Olivia in that moment realizes that she could love Sebastian. Like the scary let him drink milk out of the carton kind of love. So she does the first thing she can think of, she shoots him a smile says something along the lines of goodbye and rushes into her class.
Viola stands there for a minute at a loss for words. What just happened? As Viola starts to walk towards her own class she goes over the interaction she just had with the other girl. It's all she can think about for weeks.
Viola has dated boys her entire life. Okay so one boy, who turned out to be a douche bag, but whatever. She still has only dated boys, only ever talked about boys. But when Viola finds herself looking up Olivia's name in the student directory, she just chalks it up to wanting some female companionship in her very male heavy world. So she calls her and asks if Olivia wants to study for their science midterm that is coming up. Olivia quickly agrees, and that's what they do. But then study sessions turn into dinner, then movie nights, and then finally movies turn into outings. Until suddenly all of Viola's time that isn't spent on a soccer field, she is with Olivia. It's fun, it's easy, and honestly it's all that Viola needs when a particular stressful day of soccer comes around. But the guilt of hiding who she really is to Olivia has been weighing on her really heavily. In fact the truth of who she actually is and why she is there has almost come out so many times when the two of are together. But it hasn't, and Viola finds ways to deal with her guilt. So when Duke asks her if maybe Sebastian could hook himself and Olivia up her first reaction is a loud resounding no. Because Olivia is hers and it's the only thing she has at Illyria that doesn't exhaust her. And she doesn't think about what she means when she calls Olivia hers, all she knows is that it feels right saying it. But what decides to come out of her mouth to Duke instead is a, "Sure, but only if you can get me on the varsity team for the Cornwall game." And that is how Viola finds herself on the most awkward double date of her life. Everyone is uncomfortable, and by the end of it Viola wants to rip all of her fake and real hair out in frustration. Duke is horrible with woman; her normally laid back roommate she is used to seeing just falls apart around pretty girls. And God help her Olivia is trying so hard. She keeps trying to save the conversation, but can't seem to do that without Viola's help. So everyone is bumbling with the conversation and Viola can see Duke's jealousy rising as Olivia just keeps talking to her. And Viola can't shake the smug feeling she is starting to feel in her chest, so she calls for the check ready to be out of here.
Olivia knows boys. She is a smart girl and boys are easy to figure out, but for whatever reason Sebastian just seems to be out of her reach. Whenever they hang out, which is frequently and whenever either of them can manage, Olivia sometimes finds Sebastian just looking at her the same way he did when they first met. Like he is trying to figure out everything she is, and is going to patiently study so he knows. And honestly the fact that she just can't put a finger on who Sebastian is why she likes hanging out with him so much. Well, and the fact that he hasn't tried anything with her. Not since that weird thing in the hallway that they shared. So, Olivia sticks around and finds herself falling slowly in love with this beautiful boy, and becomes increasingly frustrated when he does nothing to pursue her. When Sebastian asks if she would interested in going on a double date with Duke Orsino, Olivia sees it as her opportunity to see how Sebastian feels about her. And okay, she knows its wrong using Duke, but she's a girl who is at her wits end. She needs to know how Sebastian feels. The date is a disaster, Duke is even worse than she could have imagined and all she wants is to talk to Sebastian like they usually do at this horrible pizza place. Her hand goes up for the check at exactly the same moment Sebastian's does and she smiles to herself. Olivia makes some excuse to Duke and magically manages to get the other boy to take Sebastian's date home so it's just her and Sebastian.
"So, that was…fun." Olivia starts after they leave the restaurant. They are walking side-by-side, close enough that their elbows brush every now and again.
"Really? Fun is what you're going to call that? Like, that's your final answer?" Viola says, a half smirk forming on her face as she looks down at the slightly shorter girl. "Cause I'd say that was the worst date I have ever been on in just about…well ever." Viola continues after a moment, pausing in the middle of her sentence to play up her dramatic pause, but she makes Olivia laugh and the familiar warm feeling spreads in her chest at the sound. That feeling is darkened though by the guilt of lying to Olivia daily. She has to tell Olivia the truth. They can't be friends like this with this huge lie between them. But when Viola opens her mouth to tell Olivia, the warm lips she feels on her own surprise her. So much in fact the only thing she does is put her hands on Olivia's hips to steady the shorter girl and herself. She feels Olivia hum in contentment and Viola realizes she is kissing back. And it feels wonderful. She realizes what the big deal about kissing suddenly is. All the mushy romantic feelings all the other girls are always talking about are there. God, she even feels the urge to pop her leg up like they do in the old romantic movies. The electricity in her spine, the way Olivia fits in her arms, the warmth of the other girl's mouth that seems to suck Viola in, and oh shit is that Olivia's tongue? It's then that Viola realizes what she is doing. She is kissing another girl who thinks she is a guy when she is in fact a girl!
"No." Viola says softly pushing the other girl away. She can't seem to take her hands off the girl's hips though, so she stands there holding Olivia at arms length looking down at her shoes.
"Sebastian, why not? I really like you. You're one of the greatest guys I've ever met. And you have to like me just a little bit. We hang out all the time." Olivia sounds hurt and that breaks Viola's heart just a little.
"No, Liv I do like you. Apparently more than I thought. But I have to tell you something okay? And if you never want to talk to me again after I tell you, that's fine. I'll just deal with it. But please know that I never meant to hurt you." Viola drops her hands and looks up so she is looking Olivia in the eye. After a small nod from Olivia she plunges ahead.
"Okay, so long story short I guess, I'm not actually Sebastian. I'm Sebastian's twin sister." And without looking at the other girl, Viola takes off her wig and fluffs out her hair. "I decided to come to Illyria because they took away the girl's soccer team at Cornwall then decided to laugh at us because we said we could play with the boys. Then my brother decided to go to London for God only knows what reason and here I am. Playing on the boy's soccer team, at Illyria, as my brother, and yeah." the sentence kind of drops off as Viola finishes her story. The silence ticks on as she waits for something, anything from the other girl.
Olivia doesn't know what to think. Her first instinct was to laugh, but then the wig had come off and oh shit. She was in trouble. Olivia had fallen in love with a girl that was dressed as a boy. She had just kissed a girl that was dressed as a boy and had really really liked it. As all these thoughts are racing through her head one floats lazily up from her subconscious, stopping all the other thoughts abruptly.
"So what."
And for the second time in five minutes Olivia Ann Lennox is speechless. Where did that thought even come from? What does it mean? Then Olivia thinks about the kiss that she just started. It had been perfect. Seb-no not Sebastian, his sister, had held her closely and they had fit together so snugly. She realizes with another jolt that she wants to kiss this person in front of her again, and again, and again for the rest of her life, is she was allowed to. So, so what. A huge weight seems to be lifted from Olivia's chest and she lets out a breath that she hadn't known she was holding.
Viola is having a heart attack. She's can feel an ulcer forming. All her hair is turning gray with stress. Summed all up, Viola Hastings is freaking out. She had been watching Olivia for the past five minutes, but she could have sworn she had been standing there for no less than seven years. Viola had been mentally preparing herself for yelling and tears, maybe a few punches to her shoulder out of anger. But this silent brooding thing Olivia is doing right now is so much worse. Viola can't read her and that's scary because Viola can always read Olivia. She hears the girl let out a small whoosh of air that is followed by a low laugh. It's the first sound she's heard from the other woman and it causes Viola to snap her head up and her eyes meet bright blue ones. She sees laughter there, relief, and something else that Viola can't place. It looks like apprehension, excitement, and longing.
"So fucking what."
Viola takes an involuntary step forward her eyes never leaving Olivia's face, not willing to believe what she just heard, "I'm sorry. What was that?"
"So. Fucking. What."
Viola's heart jumps and the next thing she is aware of are Olivia's lips on hers for the second time that night. And it's fireworks and orchestras and puppies and rainbows. The last one makes her lips quirk up in a quick smile and she feels Olivia's lips respond in a similar fashion.
"What are you smiling about?" Olivia says against her mouth placing small kisses on her bottom lip.
"Nothing important."
"Good. Now can we please keep kissing?"
Viola smiles again and pushes Olivia against one of the stone walls molding her body against the other girl's. "Yeah, I like that idea."
They go back to kissing. It's slow and unhurried as they explore each other. Viola reaches a hand up into Olivia's shirt and Olivia let's out a small hiss as Viola slides her hand up.
"I don't…Christ, I don't even know your name." Olivia pants out throwing her head back allowing Viola to start exploring the new territory commonly known as her neck.
"Viola, my name is Viola." she says between kisses. Viola has never felt like this with anyone. She wants to mark the other girl. She wants people to know that Olivia is hers.
"Vi…Jesus, don't stop that okay?"
Viola doesn't say anything but continues her trail of kisses to the other girl's collarbone. Olivia lets out a low moan as she feels teeth scrape against her. Her hips automatically roll up, seeking friction. And the fact that her underwear is uncomfortably wet is forcibly brought to her attention, quickly followed by the realization that they are in a very public sidewalk. "Wait, no. Wait." Olivia pushes lightly on Viola's shoulders and brings her head up. She smiles and kisses Viola quickly on the lips, "Can we go to your room, or my room, just somewhere that's not a public street?" Viola blinks slowly almost coming out of a daze, "You wanna go back to my room?" she asks her eyes widening at the implications then breaking into a sudden smile, "You wanna go back to my room." Viola says again more slowly, her smile turning into a satisfied smirk.
"Yeah, I guess we can do that." she slings an arm around the other girl's shoulder and pulls Olivia's shirt down so it's straight. They start walking back toward the direction of the dorms, each girl lost in her own thoughts, but both have soft smiles on their faces. Viola comes out of her thoughts and notices that at some point during their walk she had reached down and intertwined her fingers with Olivia's. A sudden apprehension rises up from her stomach and pulls Olivia to a stop.
"Liv, wait stop real quick." Viola says softly biting her lip and looking a little uncertain.
Olivia stops and turns her bright blue eyes toward her and Viola feels her heart skip a beat as a slow smile spreads across Olivia's face.
"Don't. You're trying to overthink this right now. I can see it on your face, Vi. So just don't. I want to be here, with you."
And as her own name, instead of brothers leaves that gorgeous mouth, all the uncertainty Viola had been feeling in that moment vanishes. She wants Olivia, and Olivia wants her. Even knowing that she is a girl and has been lying to her for the past couple of months. Viola surges forward and catches Olivia's mouth with her own. Its different from their other two kisses. This one is deep and slow. Its like a fire is coursing through Viola, lighting her up from the inside. She feels Olivia in her veins and she understands why people do drugs, why they are always looking for that next hit. And when Olivia lets out a soft moan, Viola slips her tongue into the other girl's mouth and she swears she sees God.
"I'm going to take you back to my dorm now, okay?"
Olivia just nods and smiles stepping back just a little, "Yes, please. But maybe you should call Duke first."
"Oh shit."
Olivia just laughs.