Father Figure
Ritsuka has daddy issues. But, really, is that unexpected, considering everything he's been through?
A/N: I heard this song one day, and I was like, 'omg, that is so a Soubi/Ritsuka song!' I had originally planned for this to be a super creepy story, but, like most of my stories, it took on a life of its own, and before I knew it the story was turning into nothing but fluff, and I was like 'no way!' lol. So its not as strange as I would have liked, but hopefully I got it kinda back on track by the end. The idea for this story was so prominent in my mind because I am highly intrigued by certain undertones of Soubi and Ritsuka's relationship that tend to make it so dark and morbid, much like the Seimei/Ritsuka relationship. There's just something about it…it's like a train wreck: you don't want to see what's going on, but you can't look away, either lol.
Warning: I would say its kinda squick-y. Not as strange as some of the Seimei/Ritsuka stuff out there, but there is a definite pedophilic undertone to this, as well as the daddy issues stated in the summary. For some of this, Ritsuka is young, though I will have a few years pass before things get really hardcore, lol. I guess there is really no redeeming this—it's weird and I have absolutely no excuse. You have been warned. No flames for the squickiness, please.
Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless, or the song Father Figure by George Michael.
xxx: means a time jump
x: means a scene change
That's all I wanted, something special
Something sacred in your eyes
For just one moment, to be bold and naked at your side
Sometimes I think that you'll never understand me
Maybe this time is forever, say it can't be
That's all you wanted, something special
Someone sacred in your life
Just for one moment, to be warm and naked at my side
Sometimes I think that you'll never understand me
But something tells me together, we'd be happy
I will be your father figure
(Oh, baby)
Put your tiny hand in mine
(I'd love to)
I will be your preacher teacher
(Be your daddy)
Anything you have in mind
(It would make me)
I will be your father figure
(Very happy)
I have had enough of crime
(Please let me)
I will be the one who loves you
Till the end of time
That's all I wanted
But sometimes love can be mistaken for a crime
That's all I wanted, just to see my baby's blue eyes shine
This time I think that my lover understands me
If we have faith in each other then we can be strong
xxx
Soubi first noticed it when he and Ritsuka had engaged in a spell battle with another Fighter unit that had been sent to capture them. The other unit had been strong, but Loveless had been able to beat them, though just barely. Ritsuka had taken heavy damage, and, try as he might to protect him, the other Fighter's spells had passed right through Soubi and struck the smaller boy, leaving him bleeding and barely hanging on to consciousness.
After the other team had been properly disposed of, Soubi had immediately turned his attention to Ritsuka. The little teen had rested limply in Soubi's arms, eyelids trying to flutter open and breathing labored. The last word Ritsuka had said before he passed out was a name, and it tore Soubi's heart in two.
"Seimei?"
And Soubi began to understand that Ritsuka's problems ran so much deeper than simply trying to stay alive.
x
It happened again when they were rough housing around Soubi's apartment one night some weeks later and the blonde man was tickling the smaller boy mercilessly.
Ritsuka rolled around on the floor, squirming and laughing hysterically and trying in vain to pry his Fighter's fingers off of his ribcage.
"S—s—s…" Ritsuka sputtered, and Soubi thought he would tell him to stop, but the word that came out of Ritsuka's mouth was not what the blonde man had been expecting at all.
"Seimei!" Ritsuka gasped out between laughs.
Soubi's fingers automatically stopped their frenzied movements on Ritsuka's ribs, slightly shocked by the sudden mention of the elder Aoyagi's name.
Ritsuka, though, didn't seem to notice his own slip of the tongue and took the opportunity to squirm out of Soubi's grasp and launch a counter attack.
x
But it became all the more apparent the day Soubi came home from class to find a crying Ritsuka sitting on his couch, a letter from school crumpled in his tiny fist that announced a 'Bring your father to school' day.
"Would you like me to go, Ritsuka?" Soubi had asked as the small teen had continued to cry into his chest after Soubi had taken him into his arms.
"N—no," Ritsuka had hiccupped. "It's n—not the s—same!"
But Soubi had gone anyways, and although he didn't stand in front of the class like the other children's fathers or step-fathers or uncles or older brothers to talk about his job, Ritsuka seemed more than happy to have Soubi stand behind his chair the entire time, one of the blonde's large hands on Ritsuka's small shoulder, fingers caressing the fragile bone minutely so that no one else noticed.
After school that day, Soubi had taken Ritsuka to town to get ice cream, and they had stopped at an arcade before going home. Ritsuka had filled his camera up with pictures, and Soubi couldn't stop the pain in his heart when Ritsuka had told him that it had been the best day of Ritsuka's life.
From then on Soubi tried to draw a fine line through their relationship, though it was difficult. He wanted to be the father-figure Ritsuka so desperately needed, but it was hard when everything in his body was screaming at him that Ritsuka was meant to be his lover.
So Soubi had fallen into a rhythmic pattern of switching roles: during the day he tried to be the mature and responsible voice of reason that Ritsuka could look up to and admire; and during the night, when Ritsuka would sneak out of his house and make his way across town to Soubi's apartment, or when he would get a text at 1 o'clock in the morning asking him to come over because the younger boy couldn't sleep, Soubi would slip his arms around Ritsuka's pliant body and hold him close, planting kisses on Ritsuka's face and neck that burned away all traces of Soubi's previous parental attempts from earlier in the day.
xxx
"S—Soubi?"
The blonde man grunted in his sleep, rolling over to turn away from whatever it was that was trying to wake him up.
"Soubi?"
Something began poking him in the shoulder, small and hard, in a repetitive motion that soon turned into a shake that moved his whole body, waking him completely.
"What in the wor—"
He turned his head to find Ritsuka staring at him, violet eyes wide and uncertain in the moonlight that shone in through the boy's balcony window.
"Ritsuka, are you okay? What do you need?" He glanced at his watch. He couldn't be completely certain because it was so dark in the room, but it seemed to read 3:20 am. He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face.
"I—I had a dream."
Soubi could hear Ritsuka's cat ears twitching nervously against the pillow, the soft rub of fur on cotton.
He relaxed slightly, glad that it wasn't anything more serious, and turned onto his back, wrapping one arm around Ritsuka and tucking the boy closely to his side. "You had a bad dream?" he asked, assuming Ritsuka would probably want to talk about it before he could drift off to sleep again.
"No," Ritsuka whispered, and he rolled as Soubi pulled him closer, pressing his body against Soubi's side. "It wasn't a bad dream."
On his thigh, Soubi felt something hard press into him.
Oh.
Oh.
"It…it feels funny, Soubi," Ritsuka's voice as little more than a whisper, and if there had been just a little bit more light in the room, Soubi was sure that he would be able to see Ritsuka's bright red blush.
Soubi's arm stiffened around the smaller boy. "Is this…is this the first time you've ever had-?" He stopped himself from asking, because it was a stupid question. Ritsuka was 12 years old, and for the past few years he had been dealing with so much else—his memory loss, his mother beating him, his brother's death. Soubi guessed it wasn't too strange that this was the first time he had ever had an erection. And of course only Ritsuka would be naïve enough to not understand what was happening to his body.
Naïve and childish and not understanding anything—that was how Ritsuka lived his life. That was what kept him in an abusive home, that was what made Soubi's heart ache for him.
"What is it, Soubi?" Ritsuka asked, pushing his erection against Soubi's leg, and Soubi wondered if the boy even realized he was doing it, or if it was just his body's attempt to find its first release.
"You're aroused, kitten," Soubi told the little boy, placing a small kiss on the side of Ritsuka's mouth. "What were you dreaming of?"
There was a long moment of silence before Ritsuka answered quietly, "You."
Soubi smiled in the darkness.
"Would you like me to help you take care of it?" he asked Ritsuka, voice just as quiet as the preteen's. "It will feel good."
Ritsuka pressed against Soubi's thigh harder. "Better than this?"
Soubi's hands began roving over Ritsuka's frail body. "Oh, kitten," he whispered, his lips pressing against the other boy's. "It will be so much better."
x
Ritsuka was small in his hand. Soubi was able to fist the boy's entire erection, and the tiny boy was nothing but a quivering, jerking, writhing, moaning mess beneath him.
He had kept their clothes on, because he had told himself that he would only jerk Ritsuka off, and not do anything else, and he feared that if they removed any clothing, he would not be able to stop himself.
So his hand was beneath Ritsuka's pajama bottoms, the flannel material moving up and down in time with Soubi's pumps, and the boy's matching top had ridden up his stomach to show his navel, the muscles of his small tummy so undefined and undeveloped that Soubi had to close his eyes to keep the thought of Ritsuka's age at bay.
As the moon hung high in the black sky outside of the window of Ritsuka's balcony, Soubi was reminded that nighttime was when he took on the role of Ritsuka's lover, in the dark where no one could see them, in the middle of the night when no one could hear them.
In the morning he would be whatever Ritsuka needed him to be—father, brother, mother, friend, teacher—but as the small boy came in his hand with a strangled cry, Soubi reveled in the fact that, once the moon rose, he could have this sweet child in a whole different way.
xxx
"What are you doing, Soubi?"
The 13 year old stood at the door to the bathroom of Soubi's apartment watching the blonde man as he brushed shaving cream onto his face in thick, fluffy looking globs.
"I'm getting ready to shave, Ritsuka," he answered the boy. He had picked Ritsuka up from school that afternoon, but told the small boy that he wouldn't be able to spend as much time with him tonight as he normally did because he had an opening at an art gallery downtown that he needed to be at. He had desperately wanted Ritsuka to come, but there was no way the boy could make it—it started way past his curfew.
Ritsuka laughed at him. "You look funny," he told Soubi, who smiled and rolled his eyes at the small boy.
He continued to coat his face in shaving cream and Ritsuka continued to watch him.
"When will I get to start shaving?" Ritsuka asked him suddenly, and it wasn't the boy's sudden voice that made him jump, cutting through the quiet in the apartment, it was the question itself.
It was easy to forget sometimes, just how young Ritsuka really was.
Or maybe it was only because Soubi wanted to forget how young Ritsuka really was.
"When you're older," Soubi answered him, his voice light and playful.
"When I'm an adult?" Ritsuka asked, inching closer to the sink Soubi was standing at. He reached a hand out to take the tin can of shaving cream, reading the front of it interestedly.
"It doesn't have to be when you're an adult," Soubi answered him, running his razor under the tap to wet it before he brought it to his face and began shaving. "Just whenever you need to start."
Ritsuka twirled the can in his hands. "I don't ever remember seeing Seimei shave," he said quietly.
Soubi cast him a quick glance out of the corner of his eye, not turning his head away from the mirror or stopping the slow scrape of the razor against his cheek. "Seimei didn't really have to shave that often. Some boys don't. It just depends."
Soubi continued to shave in silence, the only sound in the entire apartment was the scraping of the small, cheap plastic razor against his scruff.
"Will you teach me?" Ritsuka asked quietly. "When I get old enough?"
And there was that deep ache again, that tore his heart in two. Of course, Seimei would have been the one to teach Ritsuka how to shave, because there was no doubt in Soubi's mind that their father never would have, but Seimei was gone now. And while the circumstances surrounding his death were mysterious and confusing and barely bearable for a small child like Ritsuka, the world continued to turn and Ritsuka grew older and older every day.
"Of course I'll teach you, Ritsuka," Soubi answered him, turning to look at the small boy for the first time. The teen was staring down at the shaving cream can as though he were afraid it would leave him, too, soon.
"In fact," Soubi said, reaching around Ritsuka to open the linen closet, taking out the small stepping stool he had bought for when Ritsuka had been younger and shorter, to help him reach some of the stuff in Soubi's apartment. "How about we start right now?"
Ritsuka looked at him, confused, but Soubi took the can of shaving cream out of his hand and pulled the younger boy up onto the stool by his wrist, so that they stood next to each other and were almost—but not quite—the same height.
He pumped some of the thick white cream into the palm of his hand and then began rubbing it on Ritsuka's face, making funny designs with it.
Ritsuka laughed as he looked at himself in the mirror.
"Soubi, its cold!" he squealed as the blonde man drew a white moustache and a small white beard on his upper lip and chin, then moved upwards to outline Ritsuka's black eyebrows in the white cream as well.
Ritsuka looked at himself in the mirror. "I look like my grandfather," he giggled, and Soubi laughed, glad to see that the dark mood that had befallen the young boy had lifted.
"I think you look cute," Soubi told him, pressing a messy kiss to the little boy's cheek—he still had the remnants of his own shaving cream on his face.
Ritsuka grimaced as their faces slid together in a slimy, uncomfortable way.
"Soubi?" the boy said when the blonde had pulled away and began running his razor under the tap to clean it.
"Hmm?" the older man answered.
"Thank you for taking such good care of me," the small boy said quietly, the sound of the water running almost drowning his voice out. "I don't know what I would do without you."
Soubi stared at the teen for a long moment, not sure what to say. Finally, he simply pulled the boy in for another kiss, on the lips this time, squishing the shaving cream that was around Ritsuka's mouth against his own.
"I love you, Ritsuka," he said when he pulled away from the brunette.
He said it so often, because he feared the boy hadn't heard it enough times in his short life.
xxx
"Look, Soubi! I made the honor roll!"
Soubi reached out to take the report card that the 14 year old boy was shaking in front of his face. He had taken to waiting outside the high school at the end of the day in the same way he had waited outside of the middle school for Ritsuka two years ago. As Soubi read over the report card, being sure to note which subjects had the lowest grades so that he could help Ritsuka with that homework later, the teenager bounced on the balls of his feet, cat ears tall and his tail swishing happily from side to side.
"That's great, Ritsuka!" Soubi praised him, pulling him in for a hug and a quick kiss on the top of his head, between his black ears. He quickly released him, knowing that they were surrounded by teachers and parents and lots of other people who would get suspicious if he hung on to the teenager for too long. "Let's go celebrate."
They began walking down the street, and it wasn't until they were out of sight of the school that Soubi reached out to take Ritsuka's hand, bringing it up to his mouth to brush a kiss over Ritsuka's knuckles. "I'm very proud of you, kitten," he told the other boy, who beamed up at him.
"Sensei says that we have to get it signed and bring it back to school tomorrow, or he will call our parents." Ritsuka's voice was careful, and Soubi noticed that the teen wasn't looking at him. "Could you sign it for me, Soubi?"
Soubi frowned. "Ritsuka, I'm not you're—"
"Everyone at school thinks you are," Ritsuka answered. "You come to all of the parent/teacher meetings, and all of the open houses. You even help out with the fundraisers." Ritsuka threw him a look from underneath his messy black bangs. Soubi made a mental note to give him a haircut soon. "If you signed it, Sensei wouldn't know the difference. Your signature is on most of my school papers, anyways."
He looked away from Soubi again, and when he spoke his voice was soft and quiet. "And if I took it to Mom she might just beat me for it. Her Ritsuka never made such good grades."
Soubi sighed and tightened his grip on Ritsuka's hand.
"Of course I'll sign it for you, Ritsuka," he said, pulling the other boy towards him so that he could wrap an arm around his shoulder. Ritsuka had grown much in the past two years, and Soubi looked down at his legs to make sure his pants still fit him. They had gone on many shopping trips lately, due to the teen's continuous growth spurts. "Anything you need me to do for you."
Ritsuka smiled up at Soubi widely, wrapping his arm around Soubi's waist as they walked. Around the wrist of the arm that sat on Ritsuka's shoulder, Soubi felt the boy's tail gently curl around his skin, holding him softly.
"What do you want to get to celebrate?" Soubi asked him. "You can have whatever you want."
"Ice cream and video games," Ritsuka said matter-of-factly, and Soubi laughed as he ran a hand through Ritsuka's soft black hair.
xxx
"Ritsuka, what in the world were you thinking?" Soubi's voice was harsh and loud, and he was trying to keep his temper under control, but it was so hard when he was sitting in the principal's office, trying to process what the older man had just told him Ritsuka, Yuiko and Yayoi had just done.
"I'm sorry, Soubi!" Ritsuka cried, and his voice sounded as if he were on the verge of tears, warbling as though he were 12 again and not the post-pubescent 15 that he really was. "I didn't mean to—I don't know why I did it!"
"Mr. Agatsuma," the principle told Soubi, ignoring Ritsuka as he had for the whole meeting. "Ritsuka's teacher tells me that you are the boy's legal guardian. Is this correct?"
Soubi answered without thinking, without stopping to ponder the consequences. 3 years of taking care of the boy had left nothing but quick answers to that sort of question on the tip of his tongue. "Yes."
"I know that Ritsuka is a good student who makes excellent grades, but I'm afraid there is nothing I can do in this situation for him—the rules are very clear. He is to be suspended from school for 2 weeks. The same goes for Ms. Hawatari and Mr. Shioiri."
Soubi sighed heavily and threw a glare at Ritsuka. The small boy huddled into himself, biting his bottom lip and looking away from Soubi.
"I just need you to sign these forms stating that you understand the circumstances of Ritsuka's suspension and that you were present for the parent/teacher meeting regarding the prank the 3 children played on their teacher…."
x
"Are you going to tell my mom?" Ritsuka asked quietly as they made their way out of the school during the middle of the day. Ritsuka wasn't even allowed to finish out the school day—the suspension had been effective immediately.
Soubi sighed heavily, running a hand down his face. "I should," he said, tiredly. "But I really messed up back there. I shouldn't have signed the papers as your guardian. Now, if I tell Misaki, she'll just want to know why she wasn't the one called in to the meeting." He shook his head, not looking at Ritsuka. "And, besides, I think it's best if she doesn't know about this." His voice grew soft and he tried to keep the as much emotion as he could out of his voice. "Who knows what she would do if she found out that, not only were you suspended, but all of your teachers have been giving me permission to accept responsibility for you."
Ritsuka crossed his arms over his chest stubbornly, following Soubi as the blonde man walked, not asking where they were going. "I don't care. You've been more of a parent than she or Dad ever were. The only other one who cared about me as much was Seimei."
"Be that as it may," Soubi said, and he turned to look at the younger boy for the first time. "You need to be punished for your bad behavior. And if your mother is not going to know about this, I guess I'm going to have to be the one to punish you."
Ritsuka faltered in his steps slightly. "W-what do you mean? Like…ground me?"
Soubi continued walking and the younger boy had to jog to catch up to him. Though he had certainly grown much since he was 12, he still was nowhere near as tall as the blonde man.
Soubi shook his head silently. "I don't think I would be able to effectively ground you. You don't live with me, and you don't do anything but study anyways. Plus, Yayoi and Yuiko's parents are probably grounding them, so you won't be able to hang out with your friends anyways."
They made their way towards Soubi's apartment, neither one saying anything about Ritsuka going home. They both knew that if he did, Misaki would suspect something anyways. "No, your punishment is going to have to be something else, something a little more painful," Soubi continued. "Especially since I had to skip classes today just to go get you."
x
"Soubi," Ritsuka said, and his voice shook slightly, though he tried to cover it up. "Don't you think I'm a little too old for this?"
He lay in Soubi's lap, stomach across the blonde man's knees and feet planted firmly on the floor, so that his butt was sticking up in the air. His tail flicked nervously from side to side, and his ears were pressed flat against his hair, and Soubi tried to ignore how cute and scared he looked.
"Ritsuka, it's the only punishment I can think of that won't let your mother know what happened and that will get the point across," Soubi answered, his voice harsh. The older man sat on the couch in his apartment, Ritsuka resting across his legs. He had his large hands sitting idly on Ritsuka's back, one by the boy's shoulder and the other towards his hips. His fingers twitched the way Ritsuka's tail twitched.
"Now, remember to mind your tail," Soubi said, his voice softening just a bit. "I don't want to hurt you anymore than I'm going to. You must keep it up and out of the way, okay?"
"Soubi," Ritsuka said, and his voice did tremble now, but from what Soubi was not completely sure. "Is this really necessary?"
A sad smiled played at the corners of Soubi's lips, but Ritsuka couldn't see it. "Yes, kitten," Soubi whispered. "It is."
And without warning his hand lifted off of the small of Ritsuka's back and swung down to smack the boy on his bottom, being careful to not hit the area where his tail connected with his spine.
Ritsuka cried out, mostly in surprise, and the force of the hit made his small body jerk against Soubi's legs.
Soubi lifted his hand again and hit the boy in the same spot, and this time Ritsuka's breath caught in his throat as the smack landed on the area of his butt that still tingled from the last hit.
After two more hits to the same spot, Ritsuka was breathing heavily and his tail was lowering of its own accord, whether from Ritsuka not remembering to keep it out of the way or from the boy trying futilely to protect his bottom, Soubi wasn't sure.
"You're tail, Ritsuka," Soubi told the boy, and he noticed that his voice was raspy, deeper than it normally was, and he prayed to God that Ritsuka couldn't feel his semi-hard erection against his small chest. "Keep it up."
The boy's tail came to wrap around the wrist of Soubi's other hand, the one that was gently stroking Ritsuka's shoulders, a stark contrast to what the Fighter's other hand was doing.
Three more smacks and Soubi was almost completely hard. He could hear Ritsuka's pained breathing and his hand gently stroked the sensitive skin that he had inflamed, the small boy squirming against Soubi's touch deliciously.
"Soubi," Ritsuka breathed, and his chest pressed down on the blonde man's erection. "How many more?"
Soubi's hand continued caressing Ritsuka's bottom. "Do you want me to stop?"
There was a long moment of silence as Ritsuka took his time answering. And when he spoke next, it was so low that Soubi almost missed it.
"No."
Soubi's cock twitched in his jeans and he brought his hand down 4 more times in quick succession, making Ritsuka cry out each time he hit him.
"Does it hurt, Ritsuka?" he asked, grinding his pelvis up into the boy's chest.
Ritsuka's breath was shaky as he answered. "Yes."
"Would you like me to make it feel better?"
Ritsuka whimpered, and when Soubi looked down at him he could see that the boy's cat ears were shaking.
"Yes."
He pushed Ritsuka gently onto the floor, keeping him in the same position he was in already, but on his hands and knees so that his ass was still up in the air. He stood and moved behind the boy, kneeling also, and his hands reached around to Ritsuka's jeans to unzip them and push the boy's pants and boxers down his slender hips, catching on his lower thighs and not going any farther because his knees were on the ground.
But Soubi didn't need them off completely. He just needed them away from the soft flesh of Ritsuka's ass.
The boy's normally pale flesh was bright red and angry looking now. The redness spread over just one cheek—the one that Soubi had hit over and over and over again—and crept down the back of his thigh. A large handprint could be seen in the middle of the red splotch, white, almost like Ritsuka's normal skin tone. It was a testament to how hard Soubi was hitting him that the skin had reverted back to its original color.
He hoped he didn't bruise the boy. He hadn't meant to hurt him so much.
He gently kissed the tender flesh of Ritsuka's ass, marveling at how warm it felt, as though the color were setting it on fire from the inside. Beneath his ministrations, Ritsuka squirmed and whimpered.
Soubi peppered the whole area he had spanked with kisses, starting from the top, near the boy's tail and going downwards, past the area where cheek and thigh connected and down, Soubi following the trail of red with kisses until he could look up and see Ritsuka's cock so close to his eyes, erect and looking painfully engorged. He brought one hand up to wrap around the boy's arousal while his other hand roamed the round globes of flesh on Ritsuka's bottom, and the teen whimpered and shook and could hardly support his own weight on his arms any longer.
"Did you learn your lesson, Ritsuka?" Soubi asked, giving the boy's cock a painful squeeze.
Ritsuka gasped out loud.
"Yes, Soubi," he panted. "I learned my lesson."
Soubi released Ritsuka's cock to spread the boy's ass cheeks, letting him see the small, puckered hole of Ritsuka's entrance, pulsing slightly with his arousal.
He bent down and ran his tongue over the muscle, slowly, slowly, and Ritsuka cried out, throwing his head back, his whole body trembling.
"Are you sorry?" Soubi asked, and he licked at Ritsuka's entrance again, tasting the boy, letting the tip of his tongue wiggle into the tight heat, the delicious taste of Ritsuka's flesh driving him crazy.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again," Ritsuka mumbled, and Soubi doubted very much that the boy even knew what he was talking about anymore. He felt Ritsuka shift and noticed that his arms had given out, and now the teen had the side of his face pressed into the floor, and his ass was the only thing sticking up in the air anymore. "So sorry, so very sorry," he whimpered.
Soubi smiled and continued running his tongue over the puckered flesh of Ritsuka's entrance, reaching a hand around to take the boy's cock in his palm once more. His own clothes were still on and his erection was pushing painfully against the front of his jeans, but he ignored it for now.
He wanted to feel Ritsuka cum while impaled on his tongue.
xxx
They had never talked about the fact that Ritsuka was a growing boy who needed a father figure in his life, but it was painfully apparent to Soubi. Every boy needed one. He tried to be the one to fill that role for Ritsuka as best he could, but he was aware that their relationship was a little more on the sexual side than a normal, healthy father-son relationship should be.
Sometimes he worried that he was doing Ritsuka more harm than good, by being the only male figure the boy had in his life and taking him to bed on a regular basis. The guilt wracked at Soubi constantly, but, as Ritsuka got older, he seemed to care less and less about the men in his past.
But Soubi never stopped thinking about them.
About how they ignored him, or abandoned him, or abused him, or hurt him.
In the early morning light of Soubi's apartment, Ritsuka rolled over on the bed, throwing an arm and a leg across his Fighter's naked body. When Soubi opened his eyes he saw two violet orbs blinking back at him owlishly.
"Good morning," Ritsuka whispered, head lying gently on the pillow, cat ears flicking lazily back and forth.
"Happy birthday," Soubi said, staring at the 17 year old next to him.
He looked so much like Seimei with each passing day, so much like the pictures of his father that Soubi would catch him looking at every now and then, so much like all of the men in his life that Soubi thought he would sooner forget than have staring at him every time he looked in a mirror.
"I want you to take my ears today," Ritsuka told him quietly, a lovely blush stealing across his features, rosy as the sunrise that was falling softly through the window in Soubi's bedroom.
Soubi rolled over so that he was on top of Ritsuka, smothering the boy softly, placing feverish kisses everywhere he could reach. And he tried desperately, just like every time he took his boyfriend to bed, to push the thought out of his mind of a 12 year old Ritsuka—shortly after they had met and Soubi had bandaged him up and let him fall asleep in his lap after a particularly violent beating from his mother—snuggling into his shoulder and calling him 'daddy'.
xxx
If you are the desert, I'll be the sea
If you ever hunger, hunger for me
Whatever you ask for, that's what I'll be
So when you remember the ones who have lied
Who said that they cared
But then laughed as you cried
Beautiful darling, don't think of me
Because all I ever wanted
It's in your eyes baby, baby
And love can't lie, no
(Greet me with the eyes of a child)
My love is always telling me so
(Heaven is a kiss and a smile)
Just hold on, hold on
I won't let you go, my baby
I will be your father
I will be your preacher
I'll be your daddy
I will be the one who loves you
Till the end of time