Prologue:
BILBO BAGGINS sits in a comfortable chair outside of a beautiful GARDEN. GANDALF THE WHITE is beside him, and they are comfortably smoking their pipes and chatting companionably. You cannot tell, but they are in the Gray Havens, which are actually more greenish once you get up close.
Bilbo gives a sigh of contentment and looks at Gandalf happily.
Ah, this is the life, my old friend, he says cheerfully.
They sit for a moment in silence, before Bilbo eagerly breaks in.
So, Gandalf, how have your travels in the outside world been? he asks. Gandalf has just come from a journey to the world beyond Valinor, and Bilbo is very curious.
Gandalf sucks on his pipe a moment, deep in thought.
My dear Bilbo. He pauses a moment. Much has changed in the world since you quit Middle Earth for the Havens.
Whatever do you mean, Gandalf? Bilbo exclaims, surprised.
Time... runs differently there than it does here, Gandalf says. Many, many years have passed in the outside world, though only a short time has gone by here. The year, by the reckoning of the people of the outside, is 2001.
Over six hundred years by the Shire calendar? Bilbo cries, startled. How is that possible?
Gandalf slowly shakes his head.
Nay, Bilbo, it is far, far more than that, the wizard says ponderously. Middle Earth is no more. The race of men is greatly changed.
Middle Earth is no more? This is dire news! Does anyone live, now, to remember us?
A faint smile touches Gandalf's lips as he exhales some of the pipesmoke.
Indeed, there was one, he murmurs. A great writer and scholar called Tolkien told your tale, and that of your nephew Frodo and his journey to Mordor. He is dead, now, but his legacy is carried on by some...
What? Tell me about this Man! Bilbo exclaims excitedly.
He is a movie director by the name of Peter Jackson, and he seeks to set down the tale of your nephew, and the rest of the Fellowship, for all to see.
Bilbo is confused, wondering if, at his age, his hearing is finally failing. After a pause, he speaks:
Er, Gandalf, my dear fellow, what is this moviedirector' word mean?
Gandalf chuckled, looking at Bilbo, who wears a concerned frown on his face and is rubbing his ears with his hands.
A movie director, Bilbo, is a form of Wizard. He creates moving images to show on a screen, like a Palantir, though not as dangerous. The images tell a story, like a book, only far more real. They are called movies' and may, like any magic, be used for good or ill.
But will this one about my Frodo be for good? Bilbo asks, distressed.
My dear Bilbo! Gandalf laughs again. That is up to you.
Bilbo shakes his gray head. I am old, Gandalf. I am not the spry Hobbit you sent on that first adventure all those years ago.
Oh, this Quest is not so dangerous, Gandalf comments. I am quite sure this director fellow could manage without you to make a perfectly decent movie of the adventures of the Fellowship.
Bilbo frowns for a moment.
The adventures... of the Fellowship? he asks, a spark coming back into his old eyes. What of my adventures with the Dwarves? What of There and Back Again'? Will that be left out, and forgotten for bigger adventures while the world overlooks Hobbits yet again?
Gandalf's kind gray eyes twinkle at Bilbo.
Not if you can help it, my old friend, he murmurs to himself. Then. more loudly, he says to Bilbo, You are going to journey to a place on outer Earth away from Valinor. This place is called New Zealand, and there you may aid the movie director and perhaps give him some direction of your own.
Bilbo looks at Gandalf for a moment.
Aren't you coming with me, then? he asks uncomfortably.
I am sorry, dear Bilbo, Gandalf tells him. You must do this task on your own.
Bilbo nods.
All right then, he says matter-of-factly, Time to go and pack, I suppose.
He hops off his chair and walks off slowly, Hobbit-feet padding through the lush grass of the garden.
Gandalf looks after him with a smile.
My old friend, he says softly, Once again a Hobbit shall shape the events of the world of Men. I wish you the very best of luck.
With a whirl of robes, he is gone to other work which does not come into this tale.
After two days of packing and farewells, Bilbo sets out in a gray ship, bound for New Zealand.


Disclaimer:
 Speaking as the narrator, I own neither Tolkien's books (though I have a few battered copies lying here and there) or any of his characters. I do not own Peter Jackson or the Lord of the Rings movies, including all actors therein. I owned Bilbo Baggins for a brief time, having won him in a card game against Lobelia (to whom he had lost himself the previous week), but she promptly won him back and sold him to Tolkien, to whom he now belongs and always will.

Author's Note:
Though I, the narrator, narrated this part of the tale, the rest will be told be Bilbo. He will speak about meeting with the the director, crew and actors of the Lord of the Rings movies (and other events he has asked me not yet to divulge) and I will recount the tale as he gave it to me to transcribe for you, my readers. It may take some time to transcribe, for Bilbo is a very exacting fellow and does not give me his writings until they have undergone many rewrites and revisions, but never fear. The story will be told, for all the world must know of the Hobbits and their greatness.