Disclaimer: Reborn! is copyrighted by Akira Amano; Ed, Edd n' Eddy are owned by Danny Antonucci. Everything else is MINE!
Katekyo Hitman ED!
By The Mauve Lantern
Target 1: That ED from Italy
Somewhere in Italy…
As nighttime falls across the underside of a city, two men are sitting in a seedy bar, talking to each other as they drink.
One man turns to the other, and says, "I've heard that the boss's health is getting worse and worse. It won't be long now."
"I've heard that too," replies the second man, "But that old man is strong. It will be a few years yet, until-"
"Ciao."
The two men look over to the door, as another man walks into the bar. He wears a black fedora adorned with a lizard of some sort, a black pinstripe suit, and a slick pair of shoes. His hair sticks out from under his hat, spiky on the back and curly out the sides.
"Ah, it's Reborn," says the first man, "Looks like you were called in by the old man again."
The second man laughs a little, takes a drag from a cigarette, and says, "It must be tough, being so popular! Going to Rome next? Venice?"
Reborn smiles, and replies, "L'America."
Both men gasp and are taken aback; it's happening already?
"The old man finally must have made up his mind!" says the first man in surprise.
Reborn bows his head, walks out of the bar, looks up into the night sky, and says, "Looks like it's going to be a long journey…
Somewhere in the United States of America…
A group of boys are playing basketball, and playing hard. The game has been going on for a while; it started at 3 pm, and it's currently 5 pm. The boys are obviously exhausted, and it shows when one boy gets hit in the face with the ball.
"Geez, Kyle, watch it!"
"Well next time, pay attention to the BALL!"
However, our main character is not with these boys, but rather, he is five stories above, in a dormitory room directly over the basketball court. He's sitting at his desk, currently working on a toothpick model of the Golden Gate Bridge; he's been working on it all day, and he's nearly done.
He is Eddward Carson, the top student of Peach Creek Academy. Eddward, or 'Double D' as the teachers call him, is number one in all his classes, has never been late for a class, and never fails to turn in an assignment. His clothing is simple: everyday, he wears the school uniform, plus a skullcap; at night, he wears a sweatshirt, sweatpants, socks and his skullcap. A protégé, Eddward is equally skilled in all things scientific and mathematical.
"Almost there…and…perfect!" Eddward lays the final toothpick in place, pumped his fists in the air, and slumped back in his chair. "Hoo! That winded me a little!"
See, Eddward has a slight medical condition: he is incredibly weak, physically. He was born with weak heart, which keeps him from playing the games that other kids do, and keeps him essentially chained to his room. This has made him extremely cautious, and forces him to clean things multiple times and do everything precisely. To the other students, this resembles obsessive-compulsive disorder; to the teachers, it makes him the most polite student. Not to mention, Eddward refuses to leave his room for anything except class, for fear of getting sick or having to socialize with others.
Eddward takes some breaths to get his air back, and then takes a glance out his window at the game. The game's ended and one of the players has been left behind to clean up the court. "Poor fellow…I'd help him, but I wouldn't be able to get out there in time." says Eddward to himself.
Eddward looks out the window again and stares at the students passing below. "Of course, I can't leave here except to go to classes." He sighs in despair, but continues to gaze out the window. "If only I could go outside…if only I-" the boy pauses as he sees a familiar face pass below his window.
A blonde girl passes by on the ground below, talking with a few of her friends. She is Nazz Williams, a 16-year-old girl from Eddward's chemistry class that he has taken a liking to.
"There she goes," says the lonely boy, "My chem. lab angel, heheh."
Nazz smiles and laughs at something her friend says, and stops below her window, her smile still there. "She's so radiant, and her smile is to die for!" In his head, Eddward makes a mental picture of that smile; truly, it is one of the few things that keep his hopes up.
Suddenly, another student invades his picture: Jason Todd, Nazz's fellow student council member and the president of the boxing club. Jason waves to the smiling girl, who gets up to greet him, and then leaves her spot under Eddward's window.
Frowning, Eddward closes the blinds in his window. "Of course, she's dating the president of the boxing club, so what chance does someone like me have with a goddess like her?"
"Eddward, now why would you think that?"
The boy spins around in his chair to face the young woman in his doorway: May Kanker. May is a student aide who keeps an eye on Eddward, and has been by his side ever since he was little. She is sixteen-years-old, has long blonde hair, and was made Eddward's aide after she asked the Dean; after years of being by his side, May had taken it upon herself to help the sickly boy.
Eddward grasps at his heart, and says, "May, don't do that! You know that I don't do well with surprises!"
May smirks and walks over to the boy, saying, "I know, but you're so cute when you get spooked."
"Yes, well, you still shouldn't do that." Once he settled down again, Eddward asked May, "By the way, how long have you been standing there?"
The sneaky girl continues to smirk, and says, "Long enough to know that you have a crush on a girl."
"But…I didn't….where are you…I'm not…"
"It's okay, Double D! I couldn't be happier for you!" May bends down to give him a hug, and says, "It's just a sign that you're growing up. And I'm glad it's finally happening." When she sees that Eddward has a look of confusion on his face, she says, "It means I can stop taking care of you soon!"
Eddward's face turns sullen, and replies, "But I don't want you to leave, May! I need you."
May, noticing that she has made her friend sad, tries to alleviate the situation by saying, "Double D, it was bound to happen someday. Someday, I'm not going to be there for you; at that point in your life, you're going to choose whether to live your life like a hospital patient, or live it like a man. I want you to be able live saying, 'I can make it on my OWN!'"
The boy wasn't listening to her, however, and wheeled his chair over to his bookshelf out of embarrassment.
Seeing as Eddward wasn't listening anymore, May gives a huff of frustration, puts her hands on her hips, and says, "Anyway, you have a psychiatrist coming today."
This catches his interest. Another psychiatrist? What could this one do that others hadn't?
May smiles to herself, knowing that she had regained Eddward's attention. "Yeah, the Dean says that this guy will definitely help you better fit into society. Maybe he'll even help you get that doctor job you want…"
Ever since he was a child, Eddward wanted to be a doctor; he wanted to be able to help those like himself, who were born with rare conditions. To do this, he needed to know many, many things, chief among them: how to interact with others. Who knows, maybe this guy could help him after all.
But still, for one to just show up out of the blue like this was unusual. "I'm not sure about this, May," says Eddward. "This guy could be a scam artist for all we know!"
"Puh-leeze, Double D. The Dean met this guy and everything; just give him a chance!"
Before they can go any further, they are interrupted by a small voice saying, "Ciaosup."
Eddward and May stare at the doorway, where a small child stands. He wears a black hat with a lizard on it, a black suit, and has a yellow pacifier around his neck. His hair sticks out from under the hat, and he carried a metal suitcase in his hand.
"I'm sorry I'm a little early. I always like to do a little bit of a first assessment when it comes to my patients."
May walks over to the little boy, bends down so that she almost saw him eye-to-eye, and asks, "Um, excuse me but, who are you?"
"Oh, pardon my rudeness." The little boy smiles, and says, "I'm Reborn, the psychiatrist."
Both of the students recoil in shock. This was the psychiatrist?
"What was the Dean thinking?!" cries May. "How can a baby be a psychiatrist?!"
Eddward scoots his chair over to Reborn, and says, "Mister…Reborn, was it? It's nice to meet you, but I'm not sure that you can do anything to help me!"
Reborn looks at the boy and asks, "You're Eddward, right?"
"Yes."
Reborn extends his hand, and says, "We should probably start immediately. You seem like a desperate case."
A look of confusion crossed Eddward's face. What could he mean by 'desperate'?
Turning to May, the infant tells her, "Pardon me, signora; I must get started with the patient."
"Oh, um…" May wasn't sure about this baby; something seemed off about him. "Well, okay. Double D, are you going to be all right?"
Eddward looks up at May, smiles and says, "I'm sure we'll be fine, May. You needn't worry about a thing."
May sighs, and says, "All right, but don't try doing anything to big." As she walks out the door, she tells her friend, "If you need me, just hit the buzzer, okay?"
It is Eddward's turn to smirk as he replies, "Weren't you just telling me how you didn't want to be taking care of me forever?"
"Whatever, Double D." With that, May gives the door a light slam.
Reborn walks over to the shut door, opens his briefcase, and removes a strange tool. While Eddward looks at him in confusion, the well-dressed infant takes the tool and jams it into the lock on the door.
"What did you just do?" asks a bewildered Eddward.
"I broke the lock so that she doesn't come back and interrupts us."
Why break the lock? Why wouldn't he want to be interrupted? What is WITH this kid?! All these questions were floating through Eddward's head, as he stares at Reborn.
"It's just a little trick I learned from my line of work," says the infant in question, "I'm an assassin for the mafia."
The infant flips open his case and begins to remove parts from it. "And I'm not really a psychiatrist," he says as he starts assembling something. He finally puts together a sniper rifle, and says, with a smile on his face, "My real job is to make you into a mafia boss!" He adds emphasis to his last statement by cocking the rifle.
"A…mafia boss?! But who-"
"Sent me? A certain man assigned me to train you for your role as the next great mafia boss."
"Um…are you sure that you have the right person?"
Reborn aims the gun at Eddward's head, and says, "Shall I shoot you once?"
Eddward begins to panic, and cries out, "H-Hey, put that th-thing AWAY!"
Reborn lowers the rifle, thinks for a moment, and says, "No…now would not be prudent. Perhaps later."
The two boys stare at each other for a full two minutes, until Reborn's stomach growls. He takes his gun apart, puts the parts back in his suitcase, and says, "Arrivederci." The infant removes the tool from the door, opens it, and shuts it on his way out.
As his heartbeat slows down, Eddward lays back in his chair. That was…strange, to say the least. But, at least that odd baby was gone now. He rolled his chair over to his desk, hit the buzzer on his desk, and asks, "May, could you bring me something to eat? I'm a little hungry." However, no reply came through.
"May, are you there?"
She didn't say anything, and now Eddward was worried. May would always answer by the second buzz. He decides that he would have to investigate for himself, so he gets out of his chair, and exits his room.
Thankfully, May didn't live that far down the hall, so it wasn't too difficult for Eddward to see her, or vice-versa. He knocks on the door, and asks, "May, are you there?" She isn't answering so he turns to leave, but stops when he hears the sound of lasers and spaceships.
Of course! That was the only time that May didn't pick up: when she was playing a video game! Eddward checks the doorknob, and, finding that it's unlocked, enters her dorm room. He ses that her back is turned, and that she is playing a game with someone else, someone he can't see.
"May?" This causes the girl to spin around in her chair and face her friend.
"Oh, hey Double D! I was just playing a game; did you need anything?"
Good old May. "I just wanted to know if you could fix me something to eat."
"Sure thing! Do you want a sandwich? I made one for Reborn, so-"
"Wait, Reborn? He's still here?"
Sure enough, the other chair swivels around to face Eddward, and the infant hitman is sitting in the chair, a game controlled in on hand and a sandwich in the other.
"Didn't I tell you? Reborn will be living at the school until he's sure that you are cured!"
"Surely you must be joking!"
May puts her hands on her hips and scowls at Eddward, saying, "Double D, you really should give him a chance! Reborn's pretty cool, and he's got these great stories about the mafia!"
Eddward sighs in defeat, and grumbles, "Fine, we'll keep talking in my room."
Smiling, May starts making Eddward's sandwich, and says, "Now that's more like it! I'll have your sandwich ready in a minute."
Once back in the safety of his room, Eddward faces Reborn, and asks, "So how is an infant like you an assassin for the mafia?"
"In due time, you'll find out that mafia employs anyone if they have any talent. Even someone like you, Edd, can become something incredible."
Something incredible, hmm? "That would be nice," thinks Eddward, "Maybe then, I wouldn't need to spend all my days in this room."
Eddward glances out the window again, and he blushes as he sees HER again. The sickly boy stars intently out the window at Nazz as she stops below the window to get her ID card out of her purse, and then enters the building.
"Ahh, Nazz…" he says in a daze. "If only you knew who I was."
"You want to meet that girl, right?" Eddward remembers his 'psychiatrist', and sees that Reborn is smirking at him.
"Oh no, I could never…I just can't…it's just not…"
Reborn keeps smiling, and says, "I can help you meet her, you know."
"Y-You can?" This was great! Maybe Reborn could help him after all!
"I'm positive. All you have to do is walk with me."
Eddward looks at Reborn and asks, "Walk? Wait, you mean…"
"Yes, you're leaving this room to meet her."
"I can't do that! I don't leave this room other than to go to classes or see May! Nothing else!"
Reborn takes the older boy's hand and says, "Consider this your first step to becoming a great mafia boss."
Eddward thinks for a moment, and then gets out his chair. He walks over to his closet, puts on a pair of slippers, and lets Reborn lead him out of his room.
As they walk, Eddward asks his tutor, "You are sure that you can help me meet her?"
"Of course. I am a man of the people, after all."
Eddward thinks, and suddenly starts to panic, nearly shouting, "Wait! We don't know where she lives!"
Reborn looks up at his student and asks, "You mean you don't know where the girl of your dreams lives?"
"NO! What do you take me for, a pervert?!"
Seeing as Eddward won't settle down anytime soon, Reborn grabs his sweatshirt and pulls it down so that the taller boy is seeing eye to eye with him. "You need to calm down. Don't worry, I know where she is."
"You DO?!"
"Of course. See, I have this with me…" He reaches his hand into his jacket, and withdraws a piece of paper. Eddward takes it, looks at it, and calms down.
"Th-this is a map of the building…"
"Exactly," says Reborn. "An assassin always knows his environment like the back of his hand.
Wow. This kid is unbelievable! Eddward is amazed at the child next to him. And to think, he needs me to hold his hand for him.
Eddward stares at the paper and finds Nazz's name in a room marked 324.
"She's on the third floor, on the other side of the building."
"Well then, what are we doing standing around here? Let's go see her."
The pair walks in silence until they reach the elevator. Once they go inside and shut the doors, Reborn turns to Eddward, and says, "By the way, I usually do not hold hands with my students."
Eddward looks at his new teacher and replies, "Is that so?"
The infant nods, and says, "I am only treating you as a special case because you are so frail."
"I see…"
"Of course, we'll fix that, given time. Perhaps someday you'll have enough stamina to face my real training."
"…Uh huh." This kid is serious about this, thinks Eddward.
For a few more seconds, they ride in silence, until Eddward asks, "Say, Reborn…"
"Yes, Edd?"
"Um, it's Eddward, and I have a question. What would you have done had I declined your offer?"
Reborn puts his finger to his chin as he thinks, until he replies, "I probably would have held your arm behind your back until you accepted me." He then looks up and gives a very insincere smile to his student, saying, "Of course, your arm might have snapped in three places, had I actually gone through with that."
Eddward gulped, and wondered if it was safer to let go of his tutor's hand. When he attempted to remove it, however, he found that Reborn had a tight grip on it.
"Nice try," the assassin infant says, "But you won't get away that easily."
The elevator finally reaches its destination, and the teacher-student duo steps out, and heads towards room 324.
As they walk to the room, Eddward looks down at his teacher as he starts to sweat from nervousness, and asks, "Um, R-Reborn? Can we please call this off? PLEASE?!"
"Now why would you do that, Edd?"
"Eddward, and I can't go through with this, Reborn! I have a weak constitution as it is! I wouldn't be able to handle the rejection if Nazz turns me down!"
Reborn pulls his student down to his eye level, and says, "Suck it up, Edd. If you are to be a mafia boss, you are going to have to learn how to talk with people, particularly women."
"But Reborn, PLEASE! I can't go through with this! And for the last time, MY NAME IS EDDWARD!"
The infant sighs and releases his student, "Eddward is not a very formidable mafia boss name. 'Edd', if you ask me, is much more suited for the 10th Vongola boss!"
"Stop avoiding the topic, Reborn! This meeting is destined to be a dejected, disturbing decrement in my teenage life!"
This time, Reborn decides not to respond to his cowardly apprentice, and just pulls him along, despite Eddward's feeble struggles.
Finally, they reach the door marked 324, and Eddward stands perfectly still, his body stiff and frozen. Reborn knocks on the door, and from within comes a voice that shouts, "Coming!" The door opens, revealing Nazz Williams wearing a pink pair of short-shorts and a tank top.
The blonde girl says, "Hi! Can I help you?"
Eddward starts to mumble incoherently under his breath, and his whole body begins shivering.
"Umm…are you okay, dude?" Nazz asks the sickly boy. "You don't look so good!"
A small voice from below answers the girl's question: "Oh, I can assure you, the boy is fine."
Nazz looks down at the ground and sees an infant wearing a fancy suit. She starts smiling, crouches down so she can see him better, and says, "Aww, how cute!"
"Ciaosup."
"Why are you wearing a suit, little dude?"
"Because I'm in the mafia, signora."
"Ah, how cute!"
Wait wait wait, Nazz likes, this psychopath?"
She gets back up, and says, "You have fun, okay? Bye now!"
Reborn gives a little wave with his hand as he replies, "Ciao, ciao."
Nazz shuts her door, without giving a second look at Eddward.
The infant looks up at his student, and says, "That's known as 'mafia-style'."
Eddward stares at Reborn and nearly shouts, "WHAT?!"
Both Eddward and Reborn make their trek down the hallway to the elevator, in stony silence. When they get on the elevator, the young assassin asks his student, "You're in love with that girl, aren't you Edd?"
The weak boy turns his head, and says under his breath, "It's none of your business."
"I've mastered the art of reading minds, so you couldn't hide it from me."
Eddward stomps his foot, and shouts, "THAT'S ENOUGH! I have had it with your insane methods and your questionable sanity! I want nothing to do with you, and I wish you would just go AWAY!"
Reborn smirks, as he takes Eddward's arm and holds it behind his back. "No." the infant says as he makes Eddward collapse to the ground.
"OWOWOWOWO, IGIVEUPIGIVEUP!"
The infant releases his student's arm, and asks, "I'm guessing that you haven't told her how you feel yet?"
Eddward gasps for breath, but replies, "Of huff course puff not. Nazz is the school sweetheart; I'm a recluse who only leaves his room for classes. I could never tell her how I feel!"
Reborn chuckles, and says, "That's quite the optimistic attitude you have there."
"Oh be quiet."
Reborn reaches into his pocket, saying, "I suppose it's time to use it."
What could this baby be doing?
The baby in question removes a handgun, and cocks it, saying, "Die."
WHAAAAAAAAAAAT!?
"Th-that's a toy, right, Reborn?"
Reborn continues to point the gun straight at Eddward. "Just die once; that's all it takes."
Eddward begins to panic, and scrambles out of the elevator in a futile effort to get away from his insane teacher, screaming, "What are you doing?! Why do I have to die?!"
The hitman gives a big grin to his student, and says, "You'll know what I mean when you die!"
Eddward fell to the floor, scooting himself up against the wall. Nowhere to run.
BANG! And the deed is done. Eddward falls to the ground, a stream of blood coming from his forehead.
--
Hey guys! Sorry to leave it on a cliffhanger like this, but I couldn't help myself! HAHAHAHAHA!
For anyone asking, I made May the way she is because I wanted to give her a bigger role. She'll be featured very prominently in the future.
Here, Reborn is combining the Italian greeting, "Ciao", with the American greeting, "Wassup".