Chapter 1: Easier

Author's Note: I know I've started a three stories already and I haven't really updated much but it's just that new ideas come and come so I just feel like I have to write them. I hope you like this one

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I don't own Harry Potter

"To meet, to know, to love—and then to part,
Is the sad tale of many a heart."

– Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I wake up early and I suddenly feel the urge to visit Hogsmade for some strange reason. I haven't been there since my last year at Hogwarts. I change and go to Hogsmade. I haven't been this impulsive since… well a long time ago.

First I go to buy some candy at Honeydukes. I love those candies. After that I go to the Three Broomsticks. I sit down at a table and order a butter beer. And then he comes through the door. I haven't seen him for years now and there he is in front of me. A lot of emotions cross his face. Surprise, sadness, guilt, shame but the last thing I see is gratefulness. I don't know why it is there though. I understand the surprise; we haven't seen each other in years. I understand the sadness he wanted us to be an item again. I understand the guilt he still feels guilty for everything that happened. I understand the shame, he's ashamed of what he did, something he promised to never to but he did. But gratefulness? Why is it there?

"Gwen?" he says incredulously.

"Hey." Merlin! Why did you keep him fucking hot?

"I haven't seen you in a while," he says running his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah, it's been what? Eight years now?" I say trying to sound nonchalant and careless but I remember every single detail, every single thing that happened during and before those eight years and three months and I just couldn't not care.

"Yeah, I've missed you, you know," he says quietly taking a seat.

"Sirius, please," I plead. I know where all this is going.

"Gwen why do you keep pushing me away?"

"You have all the answers Sirius. Why do you keep asking?" I ask softly.

"I want you back." He takes my hand and slips my old engagement ring on my finger. I gasp.

"You kept it?" I ask surprised.

"Yeah, I always carry it with me."

"I can't."

"Gwen I'm sorry. I made a mistake but I've already paid the price. I've been eight bloody years alone. I haven't shagged, kissed, Merlin, I haven't even chatted any girl up in those bloody years. You're everything that has been on my mind since the day you left."

"Sirius... Move on with your life. I'm not coming back to it."

"Gwen, please," he says softly putting a lock of my hair behind my ear.

"I can't. I won't," I whisper and a single tear runs down my cheek.

"Gwen what happened to you?" he asks.

"I'm sorry Sirius, that girl, the girl you loved, is long gone. Too much has happened to me, I am not the same carefree, impulsive, fun Gwen you knew, I'm sorry," I whisper as silent tears start to fall.

"Then I'll learn to love this new Gwen," he says.

"I don't even remember how to love anymore and even if I did I don't think I'd be able to love you or anyone else again. Sirius the war took everything away from me even you," I say and stand up to get out of here. I take the ring off and leave it on the table. "Forget you ever met me, it'll be easier that way."

Author's Note: Liked it? Disliked it? Yeah well it's not very long but it's just supposed to give you guys an idea of what's to come. Please review! Tell me what you liked what you didn't. Just let me know what you think.

BubblyHearts