Sakura was tough. Her job consisted of either delicately splitting people in two while dutifully wiping the free flowing blood or decimate threatening figures into the ground- so, of course, it made sense that she was tough. She was also frank, honest and almost too blunt, preferring to face her solutions than to live it rotting away creating an uncomfortable sinking feeling in her heart.
So she definitely wasn't used to the sinking feeling in her heart that was prevalent right now.
"Sakura-chan." The familiar voice seeped through with the blond mop of hair sliding into her view.
Sakura scrunched her face. "The dango tastes funny," she whined like a petulant child, ignoring how immature she was being. She fidgeted with the wooden stick, trying to change the topic that would inevitably come up.
The saviour of Konoha stared at her with his infamous puppy dog eyes- the one that was littered with genuine concern. "Talk to me, Sakura." He insisted, while lightly touching her upper arm.
They grow up so fast. Sakura remembered the times where Naruto was an emotional rock, a little naive and oblivious. The Naruto in front of her with the bright blue eyes blazing with knowledge wasn't the young Naruto fresh out of the academy anymore. It warmed her heart slightly, seeing that one of her boys have grown up to be this amazing figure.
The other one, well.
That was the problem.
The stupid raven haired male finally returned to Konoha, getting off with light probation and words of caution. Sakura felt conflicted at this: on one hand, she wanted him to get punished for all of his crime but on the other, she didn't want any misfortune to come down on her former teammate.
Sakura stood there hesitant and Naruto started to press. "Why are you avoiding Teme?"
Thousands of excuses jumped to her mind, starting with excuses containing hospital, her non-existent dying cat, a breakthrough in training, and more nonexistent excuses of a boyfriend. She knew wholeheartedly that she would sell the story to Naruto- that ninja was still a little too trusting towards friends- but there was a little thing called conscience that nagged her.
She took a deep breath in and out. Seven in, hold four, seven out. "It's a complicated twist and turns of emotions." She started, already feeling uncomfortable. She wanted to disappear, to ignore this confrontation and a suddenly deep and meaning conversation that was about to happen over a dango stand.
Naruto gave an encouraging squeeze on her arm. "Is it because you like Teme?" He asked quietly.
A small laugh choked out of her, and she leant down to put her forehead on the counter. It hurt to be reminded how she couldn't turn off her feelings for the Uchiha- the traitor. "Everything and -" Another wheezing laugh passed her. "...everything." She finished.
"What's wrong?" Naruto continued with a hint of almost slight panic. "How do I make it better? Sakura." He started blabbering. "I can beat Teme up if it makes you feel better. He can grovel down and apologise to you." The whiskered face stared at her with almost a childish intent to make her feel better.
Sakura let out a small giggle at the thought of mighty Sasuke kneeling down and god forbid, apologies. "It's- it's a different matter." She paused, trying to think of the best way to say what she felt. "It's a trust matter." She settled, staring into Naruto's blue eyes, knowing that he would understand where she is coming from.
The fact that Sasuke had been an almost enemy for so long, the fact that Sasuke had tried to kill them was destructive. To her, and Naruto, loyalty, teamwork and trust was everything. It was the fundamental of her relationships, platonic or romantic.
And Sasuke tore it apart.
He had put himself before the Team and now returned after he fulfilled his goals. How was she going to be guaranteed he wouldn't do that again? She was never good at reading Sasuke.
She didn't want to see the raven haired boy, to be reminded and to feel the stab of betrayal and fear.
She wanted to pretend that Team 7 was now reunited and everything was good.
A sigh from Naruto confirmed that he knew exactly where she was coming from. "But he's Teme, you know?"
"I don't even know who this Teme is. Is he a loyal team member? All I remember of him is his drive to avenge his clan." Sakura confessed with a heavy heart.
All her image of him was ambitious, dark, angst-filled, merely fueled by the intent to kill his brother. She couldn't remember his laughs, smiles, humorous jokes or any human attributes. The years of fighting against him slowly destroyed her light memories with him and replaced it with the murder lusting Sharingan that haunted her in her sleep.
"It's confusing," Naruto whined in the characteristic immature head scratch. Then his eyes sharpened. "But I think you should give him a chance." Naruto lowered his voice. "He's trying pretty hard nowadays." He said in a hushed whisper as if it was scandalous that Sasuke was trying hard at anything besides training.
"Aren't we all?" She said lightly feeling that the conversation is coming to an end. She gave a small smile, signalling that his concern is noted. "I promise that I'll see him soon."
Naruto smiled brightly at her and she felt her own smile widen. Her best friend's smile was sunny, contagious and oddly warming. "I'm sure Teme is dying to see you." He said with an over the top dramatic tone while putting the money on the counter.
"Dying so he doesn't have to see me, yes." She immediately quipped back, with a small wave to acknowledge his exit. "Now, go back with that political lesson with Tsunade or she will murder you."
With fervent nodding, Naruto bolted and ran. Sakura chuckled. The blond probably missed a portion of his lesson with Tsunade just to have this conversation with her. That was incredibly sweet and reminded her why this dork was one of the best people on earth.
A hefty sigh passed her lips and she stretched on the chair.
Sasuke Uchiha.
Village traitor. Unstable.
This was a man who believed in binary opposites without any shades of grey. Uchiha is good; an enemy of Uchiha is evil. That thought itself terrified her since that meant he was ruthless and merciless without any leniency in all regards.
This was a man who let himself manipulated by Orochimaru, fulling knowing the consequences of his actions.
This was a man without emotions, who willingly cut ties with his living friends to chase after his dead family.
Or was he?
Sasuke could be described as filled with emotion. He obviously cared, loved, his family enough to build up his strength in an attempt to avenge them. He wanted to keep his brother's memory sacred and avenge Konoha. That meant emotions, perhaps?
"How deplorable." She muttered to herself. After all these years, a niggling feeling of love still thrived in her, like an utter fool. Even after he tried to kill Naruto, her, raze the entire village to the ground in a misguided conquest; a part of her still loved him.
God, isn't this awful? Where was her dignity? Self-respect? Could she never stop being the stupid the 12-year old self- weak, frail and emotional?
As she dragged herself back to the hospital, she wants to avoid Sasuke deepened further and further. The red blazing eyes prompted her nightmares and memories of him, striking down her friends. The fact that she didn't think she can actively hate him burned her heart even more.
A violent flare of chakra shocked her system as she rolled out of bed with hyper awareness.
As she came to, her instinctively raised arm as a guard slowly dropped down with weariness. More weariness settled in as she knew there were only a few people on this earth who had the chakra reserve to waste it by flaring it wildly, and have the nerve to stumble to her house at 2am in the morning.
Naruto.
She half didn't want to go out since her bed was a warm cocoon around her but her protective mom-ness took over and she slipped out of her bed.
Without even bothering to walk to the front door, she neatly dropped from her window and headed to the flaring chakra. She lightly grumbled while staggering out, eyes heavy-lidded with sleep.
Soon, she spotted the slumped figure who brought her out of her well-deserved sleep. The wall cast a shadow, making his blond hair look almost dark.
Except that wasn't the case.
There was no shadow but rather, direct light from the lamppost shining down and revealing the figure in all of his glory.
The dark haired figure hunched while leaning on the wall, his cloak fluttering in the wind. For few surprise moments, Sakura thought he was injured but the copper blood smell wasn't present.
"Sasuke?" She called out hesitantly. Her heart started to violently beat, making her feel sick. Thousands of question materialised but was squashed by another thousand that appeared.
The onyx eyes opened to stare sluggish at her, and she felt self-conscious in the baggy Naruto's shirt that she stole a while ago with boxer shorts. This wasn't how she wanted to meet Sasuke. She wanted Sasuke to see her as strong, immovable. Not this too domestic sense.
Sasuke Uchiha was stumbling around her doorstep.
She couldn't' handle this, she didn't want to look at him and have the nostalgia hit her in the face in the most heart twisting sense. She didn't want the gut wrenching feeling of remembering how hatred distorted his face and his arm outstretched to kill Naruto. To kill her.
The Sasuke in front of her right now looked weak, juxtaposing every single image in her head of him. Not the cool, arrogant genius nor the cold hearted killer.
Perhaps that was why she reached down and offered a hand. Because this Sasuke was a slightly new Sasuke, not the one that she was scared of or the one that she had a stupid and unquenchable crush with.
She watched as Sasuke stared almost impassively at her hand.
"Grab it." She added helpfully while leaning down more. She hoped that she looked composed and calm because that was the very opposite to what she was feeling. She just wanted to leave this drunken mess of a man and crawl back into her bed; at the same time, she wanted to interrogate him asking why he was here, why he was seemingly out of his mind, why was he staring at her hand like a foreign object, why-why-why.
Sasuke, in his true self, ignored her hand and propped his arm on the wall behind him to shakily bring himself upwards. It was almost terrifying to watch a normally in control person to be torn into this mess. As he almost stumbled, she automatically reached out to stable him.
Just before her hands brushed his forearms to straighten him, she couldn't help but flinch back.
One line of He gave Obito the eight tails chakra to summon the ten tails echoed inside her head. He contributed to the death of Neji.
Oh god.
No matter how much she tried to accept him as good, as the teammate that she wanted, his past actions and deeds reminded her of the suffering and the pain he brought.
Was it moral to offer a hand to someone who caused such pain on her friends? She saw how Hinata cried and despaired. She saw how Naruto's even forced smile slipped from his face.
"Sakura." The husky voice slowly exhaled her name. The same voice that condemned Konoha.
Seven in, hold four, seven out. Breathe Sakura. She told herself. This was nothing. Every ninja had some dirty actions that tainted them. It was just Sasuke's dirty actions were widespread and prevalent. Yes, that's it.
"Sasuke." She replied evenly, putting the emotions out of her voice.
The dark hair swayed as he struggled to stay upright. She truly wanted to help but a part of her told her that it was wrong. Those who break the rules are scum but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.
It was an undoubted universal truth that Sasuke had abandon every one of his friends at one point.
But he's back now.
"You haven't moved houses." He uttered out.
She hated how her heart sung in happiness at that. How she a giddy high knowing that Sasuke remembered where she lived after all these years.
"I know."
She felt awkward standing in the quiet street confronted by this man. She had to end this. "Are you staying in the Uchiha compound?"
"No."
"I'll walk you back to your house." Sakura offered. "Where are you staying?"
Sasuke's blank gaze told her that he wasn't comprehending her words but rather was a million miles away in his own mind.
"Sasuke." She gently called, trying to bring the attention back to her.
It was unnerving to see his usual ambition driven sharp eyes to look so hazy. They stared at her with no focus. "Sakura?" He echoed back in the same gentle manner.
With a tremendous sigh and a mental scream to Get yourself together Sakura! She reached out to steady the male.
Her hands wrapped around his clothed sleeves and she could feel the warmth seeping out, the tendrils of it wrapping around her hand.
"Are you going to stay out here all day?"
A semblance of life and awareness flickered through his eyes as he stared down at her grasp, but stayed silent.
She wanted to tear her hair out or tear his hair out to make him communicate and goddamn speak. Why was he standing in silence looking confused? She wanted, demanded answers.
Another sigh, Sakura gave in. "You… You can crash at my place." She slowly tested. "Different room." She elaborated hastily.
The raven haired male looked like he could not care less as he almost leant for support against her grasp. The simple act terrified her thinking that Sasuke Uchiha was in a position where he willingly sought support. Surely, the world was ending.
He let out a noise like a "Hn". Did that mean yes? No?
Sakura assessed the situation. She didn't have the heart to leave him out in the cold, not in this vulnerable state. Villagers were definitely not fond of him and there was no doubt that if Sasuke didn't wake up before the village and go back home he would find himself utterly abused in the morning.
Sasuke was clearly not coherent enough to give his address so there was nothing to it, he had to stay over her house for the already long night.
She reached out and slung his shoulder over her, pointedly looking away and trying to be cavalier about this action. Nothing strange about two people helping each other, right?
The heavy scent of smoke registered her scent and she realised that Sasuke was high. Absolutely cooked. About thousands of lecture on the harmful effect of every single smoking drug on his lungs bubbled but she quelled it down, and dutifully started carrying back the tall figure to her house.
He let out a noise of surprise but seemed to admit defeat and let her do what she wanted. Or perhaps it was the fact that she was indeed very strong and could carry Sasuke using one arm if she wanted to.
"You're a mess, Sasuke." She muttered, mostly to herself and to him.
As she realised that she forgot her keys since she came out the window and was now picking her lock with malleable chakra scalpel, Sasuke slid off her shoulder. Surprised, she reached forward to stabilise him, but with an unseen feat of grace and elegance, he miraculously stayed upright and even shoved her against the door, somehow pinning her under him.
His much bigger and taller frame towered over her, casting a shadow. His arms were planted either side of her head, and his face was dangerously close to her face.
The disgusting smell of smoke wafted and a part of her noted that it was opium. A bigger part of her was slightly panicking in this situation. Her instinct was to fling him off her, which she could definitely do with ease, or roll out of the way. Sasuke's grasp had no technique, suggesting that it was one of pure impulse.
However, when she gave a small shrug of resistance and realised that Sasuke was applying actual chakra in his grip. She brushed off as one of habit.
"Uchiha Sasuke." She barked at him with the fearlessness of a component ninja, reprimanding his act. Naruto called it her Tsunade voice because it resembled her sharp tone. Such tone was easily coerced out as she wasn't scared, just slightly unnerved by the fact that his previously hazy eyes were staring at her face with intent interest.
Her fingers curled in the tension that lingered between them.
"Sakura." He breathed out.
His hair swayed hypnotizingly, almost glittering in the light. The heavy bangs covered his eyes, making it hard to read him- not that they were easy to read anyways. The mouth was set in a strangely determined line and he had a look of odd purpose on his face.
Terse silence passed as she stood incredibly still, waiting for Sasuke to make a move. She gave a leap of faith trusting Sasuke that he wouldn't Chidori her right now because of course, he had a tendency to fling Chidori at his friends.
As Sasuke stood still, slight annoyance started to churn in her. He woke her up at 2am, stumbled around with highness, and was now pinning her against a door- not that she couldn't get out of it anytime she wanted. Was this was supposed to be somehow romantic?
"Sasuke. Let go." She asked slightly uncertainty but with a definite edge in her voice. She didn't know what that boy was thinking- not many people do- but she knew that she didn't want to be in this situation.
"Sakura- " He choked out, with some incoherent blab of words afterwards.
He ignored her slight wiggling which was a subtle signal to tell him that she didn't want to be pinned against him. Instead, he lowered his head and rested against her shoulder. She felt his hair tickle her neck and his ragged breath glide along her collarbone, spreading goosebumps on its way.
It felt horrifically nice.
She felt warm heat creeping into her neck. She was blushing.
Fuck.
She had to get out of here.
With a determined sigh, Sakura was about to punch Sasuke into unconsciousness but it turned out that she didn't need to as all the strength, pressure and chakra suddenly evaporated from the male.
Sasuke crumbled in front of her, sliding down and slumping against her. She almost stumbled as well in surprise but managed to keep herself stable.
Sakura blinked. Suddenly, before she even realised, she had an armful of unconscious Sasuke Uchiha.
If this happened to her even just a few months ago, she knew exactly what to do. Drag Sasuke's ass home. But… Sasuke was already home, at her home to be more precise.
She had no idea what to do.
Sakura tried so hard to avoid Sasuke and the idea of Sasuke come seeking her was something that wasn't fathomable. It was something completely out of character, out of the realm of possibility.
This just proves how much I don't know him. She mused with a tang of bittersweet invading her emotions. It was bitter since as much as Naruto and she shouted with sense of righteousness- I'll bring him home!- they didn't even know exactly what kind of person Sasuke was anymore. In their heads, they were thinking of the old Sasuke not so cynical, not so corrupt. It was sweet perhaps even more hopeful because Sakura could tell herself that Sasuke is not the revenge driven, bloodthirsty monster that years of fighting against told her.
Sasuke could be more human.
And Sakura, while dragging the male onto her couch, stupidly hoped.