(Clears throat)

Hey.

I'm not a hufflepuff, or a ravenclaw...

and I don't live in a dungeon, or eat bouillabaisse, or own a nimbus2001...

and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Durmstrang, although I'm certain they're

really, really nice.

I have a Headmaster, not a Principal.

I speak English and Parselmouthe, NOT Pixie.

And I pronounce it 'ALOHAMORA', NOT 'ALOHAMARA'.

I can proudly enchant my house's symbol on my trunk.

I believe in practical joking, NOT punishing.

SORTINGS, NOT choosing where I go,

AND THAT THE FLOBBERWORM IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL

A CHARM IS A SPELL,

A MUDBLOOD IS A GREAT WIZARD, AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'HER-MI-ONE' NOT 'HERM-OWN-NINY', 'HER-MI-ONE'!!!

HOGWARTS IS THE SECOND LARGEST SCHOOL!

THE FIRST ACADEMY OF QUIDDITCH!

AND THE BEST PART OF THE WIZARDING WORLD

MY NAME IS HARRY POTTER!!

AND I AM A WIZARD!!!!!!!!