Westernization

Chapter 1:

A middling detective, a perverted shutterbug, and a seiyu discover their problems in an American/ Japanese horror-film and Japanese schoolgirls.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the characters or series featured in this fanfiction. I do own the basic plot, however, which binds this story together. Of course, any similarities to other stories are either coincidental, or, knowing the subject matter of this story, are fully intentional. You be the judge.

It's been awhile since I last wrote something. To make up for my absence, I am now working on this story, which is vastly different from anything I've ever written. The influences from my previous works are present, and may even play minimal parts in this plot. If you don't know some characters that appear, you can either check them on Google or Wikipedia, or just go along with the story, as everyone is basically a stranger to each other.

Wow, this disclaimer is still going. I feel like an Uwe Boll film. Anyways, enjoy, and don't expect something earthshattering, AKA, Homer's Odyssey.

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August 22- 9:00 A.M.

"Dad! Dad, wake up! You have a meeting to get to."

The thirty-seven year-old drunk slowly opened his eyes and immediately looked upon his daughter's frowning face. He groaned and sat up, scratching his head and stomach in the process.

"What did you say, dear?" the man nearly whispered. He was hung over from drinking too much beer the night before. At least, he thought he had consumed beer…

"A client wants to meet you at the diner down the street. He said that time is of the essence. He sounded desperate, dad." His daughter replied.

The man processed that for a moment, and then spontaneously jumped up. "He better pay well. This is my week off." He mumbled. The drunk proceeded to dress up in his usual suit and headed for the door. He quickly turned around.

"Ran, would you be a dear and order something to eat for when I return?" Kogoro Mouri, the drunk, asked in an oddly-polite way. His daughter stared at him blankly.

"Wha…what did you call me…?" Ran asked, confusion evident on her features.

"I said your name… I'm not so hung-over that I forgot my daughter's name." Kogoro replied, an awkward expression on his face.

"Uh, my name's…Rachel, dad."

"Is this some kind of sick joke? What the hell kind of name is 'Rachel?'"

With that, Rachel grew angry. "Tell me, dad. Can you even remember your name?"

"Of course I do. My name is Kogoro Mouri, and I am a thirty-seven year-old private investigator." He proudly proclaimed. Rachel looked distressed.

"Dad, your name is Richard Moore, and…you're forty-three."

Richard's eyes flew wide open, and he gasped loudly.

"Maybe you should cancel the appointment…" Rachel said, about to bring her father to his bed.

"No, I guess I drank more than I thought. This new case will help me…unscramble my mind. Well, uh…I'll be going now." With that, Richard fled out of the room and began his journey to the diner.

As he reached his destination, he wondered if Conan was still named Conan. He'd find out later that day, he assumed, so he dropped the thought. The diner was filled with many suspicious and disturbing looking people. Any one of them could be his client.

It only took a minute for Richard to spot his target. His eyes were practically drawn to the sight. A grown man with blue hair was frantically glancing at his watch. He was all jittery and occasionally viewed pictures stored on his camera.

"Um, excuse me. I heard that you were requesting to see me. What do you need?" Richard asked. The man looked at him and produced something resembling a calm smile.

"Oh thank God; you're finally here. You are Kogoro Mouri, correct?"

"Yes, I am."

"And have you also been called Richard Moore?"

Richard froze. "Yes. As of this morning, my daughter has called me that. In fact, she also claimed to have an entirely different name. Do you have any idea why?"

"No. Your daughter told me that name over the phone. I've called you here because strange events like this have been happening all over. Tell me, how old is your daughter?"

"Ran? She's seventeen. Why do you ask?"

"My daughter is also seventeen."

"And your point is?"

"Whatever is happening seems to be emanating from high-school girls. I have reason to believe that they will cause the end of the world."

"Where did you get that info?"

"Well…I didn't, actually. I read a similar plot in some manga. But that's beside the point. My beautiful little girl seems to be possessed by some powerful force, and it is spreading to her closest friends and family. Soon, I'll probably be infected too. I need you to help me save my girl. YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!" The blue-haired man burst into tears and slammed his head onto the table.

"Well, sir, I'll be happy to help you, but I need more information. By the way, what's your name?"

The blue-haired man looked up at the detective. "My name is Sojiro Izumi."

Richard nodded. "Okay, Mr. Izumi, may I see a picture of your daughter?"

"Of course." With that, Sojiro pulled out a large photo album. He opened up to a page featuring a short girl with long blue hair. She wore a school uniform. "Her name is Konata." He said as he passed the album to the detective. Richard took one look at the picture and shrieked.

"KYAAA! What the hell's wrong with her face!?"

Sojiro looked at the picture and smiled awkwardly. "That's just the way she smiles. Never a day goes by without me seeing that adorable :3 grin walking about." The man seemed lost in his thoughts.

"Um…sorry about that. Anyways, tell me everything that you have witnessed."

"Okay. It all started four nights ago…"

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Four Nights Ago

I was sitting on the family sofa and I turned on the television. The usual crap was on: Some old episode of Pok$#!n was on one channel, a terrible American movie was on another, and the news told similar stories of alleged Otakus committing mass genocide on their manga. You know, the usual stuff.

Konata had gone out with her friends. She claimed that she was attempting to trigger the tsundere flag by traveling to a 'haunted' house she saw in a horror movie. Afterwards, she would sleep over the Hiiragi residence if everything went according to plan. I found her reasoning logical, so I allowed her to go without a second thought. Hence, I had the whole day to myself.

Atleast, that's what I thought would happen. At about ten o' clock at night, Konata waltzed on into the room. I was half asleep and still flicking through channels, so I barely noticed her. She immediately screamed out at an American film.

"Keep it on this channel, dad! I love this movie!" Konata cried. I glanced at her.

"What are you doing back here? Did everything go alright? Get any pictures of shrine maidens?" I asked. She didn't seem to hear me. Instead, her eyes literally became glued to the screen.

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Richard grunted in thought, and Sojiro looked at him.

"Have you thought of anything?" He asked, his voice filled with anticipation. Richard shook his head.

"What was the name of the movie your daughter was watching?" Richard questioned. Sojiro looked in the air for a moment and then spoke.

"I believe it was called Twilight."

Richard nodded. "Twilight, huh? Never heard of it."

"Yeah, neither have I, and I've heard of a lot of things."

"So, how are you able to view movies from America?"

"Konata must have purchased foreign channels. Maybe she wanted to compare Haruhi's English voice to the original."

Again, Richard nodded. His mind was still filled with many questions. "You mentioned before about a 'tsundere' and 'triggering a flag.' What does that mean?"

Sojiro smiled embarrassedly. "Oh, it's nothing you should be concerned about. Otaku vocabulary is not easily explained to outsiders."

Richard stared with a blank expression on his face. "What the hell is an O…never mind. Moving on, what horror film inspired your daughter to visit the 'haunted' house?"

The blue-haired man thought for two seconds, then immediately cried out. "Oh my God! Ju-on! The movie is Ju-on. My dear Konata has been cursed. She must have journeyed into the Saeki House with her friends and now they will all be killed! I shouldn't have allowed her to go. I'm responsible for the deaths of not only my daughter, but three other adorable school-girls as well! NOOOOO!!!!" Sojiro fell out of his chair and sobbed uncontrollably.

Richard lifted the man off of the ground and spoke. "Listen, there are no such things as curses. Besides, Ju-on is just a movie. The Saeki House doesn't exist. No one is going to kill your daughter or any of her friends. Not when… Detective Kogoro Mouri is on the case!" With that speech over, Richard struck a pseudo-heroic pose.

A man in the general vicinity began clapping slowly in the most cliché fashion. He had long, spiky hair that seemed to defy gravity, and he wore a black cloak. The man stood up and walked over to Sojiro and Richard.

"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation." the man spoke, "I, for one, am honored to be in the presence of world famous detective Richard Moore."

"Why are people calling me that!?" Richard screamed. "My name is Kogoro Mouri.

The mysterious man smirked. "That's your American name."

Richard and Sojiro blinked. The man continued.

"I've been witness to a few strange events in the past four days as well. I have no explanation for why things have been happening, but I think I know what has been happening."

Sojiro looked at the man. "Well, enlighten us. What the hell is wrong with my daughter?"

"Now, you've only told the beginning of your tale, but your experiences match up with mine. Whatever is taking over your daughter is…making her American."

Sojiro and Richard looked at each other and burst into laughter. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, and I've heard Ran compliment her mother's cooking!" The fathers continued to laugh. The mysterious man smiled.

"Fine, don't believe me. But when your daughter is lying face down in a gutter somewhere, don't come crying to me." With that, he began to leave. Sojiro's face went extra pale, and he screamed out.

"Wait, come back! Tell us everything you know!" the blue-haired man cried.

The man turned his head. "Well, for one, the movie is The Grudge, not Ju-on."

"The Grudge? You mean Ju-on: The Grudge?" Richard questioned.

"No. I mean The Grudge. An American remake of the film."

"Well, how do you know that?"

"I don't; it's just speculation. A colleague of mine brought it up two days ago, after learning that someone we knew went to a haunted house."

Sojiro jumped up. "Wait, you knew someone who went to the house?"

The man nodded. "Yes. She's even younger than your daughter. Four days ago, she and three other girls journeyed to the house. I have no idea why; I'm not in charge of them. Anyways, when they returned, they insisted on watching the New York Yankees play baseball. If that doesn't speak American, I don't know what does."

Richard remained silent, and Sojiro shook his head. "So, is that how far it went? Did the trouble escalate? Mine sure did. That night was just the beginning. My dear sweet Konata began to transform right before my very eyes."

"As a matter of fact, it did. But I'm not willing to tell you that right now. I'll leave the rest to Moore here. I'll find you guys when more events unfold." The spiky-haired man once again walked to the exit.

"Wait!" Sojiro shouted. "What's the name of the girl you told us about?"

"Her name's Namine. Maybe your daughter saw her at the house." The man left the diner.

Richard and Sojiro were left in their thoughts. Sojiro spoke first.

"So, what we do know is that the Saeki House curses schoolgirls that journey into it. This is bad. They're all going to die!"

"We don't know anything for sure. My daughter never journeyed to that house, and she thinks we have American names. Maybe some television program convinced our daughters to play cruel games on us."

"No. Your daughter must have gone to the house when you were sleeping. They're all going to die, and then, once we suffer from the regret, we're gonna get axed next. MAKE IT STOP!!" Sojiro once again burst into tears.

Richard grabbed Sojiro's shoulders and shook him. "Are you seriously going to believe this crap? You actually think that a house from an American film, which is based on a Japanese film, has possessed Japanese schoolgirls and is transforming them into American schoolgirls? That's the worst explanation I have ever heard!"

Sojiro wiped away the tears. "Well, then how do you explain it?"

"It's probably just a prank. But, seeing how you won't listen to reason, I guess I should use my skills to run a mini-investigation. We should start off with the Hiiragi residence, and eventually work our way to the Saeki House."

"Oh, thank you detective!" Sojiro cried. He clung to Richard for a moment, and then grabbed his camera.

"What's that for?" Richard asked. Sojiro smiled.

"Konata says the Hiiragi's are shrine maidens!"

"O….kay? Your really gonna have to fill me in on everything as we head there. I've seriously never met a stranger man in my life."

"Yeah; I get that a lot."

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August 19- 2:00 P.M.

"AAANNNNDDD STAY OUT!" A voice shouted out as a man was tossed out of a four-story building. He landed in a pool and quickly swam to the surface.

"Boy, are you alright?" asked a nearby man. He was old and had a gray beard. He also spoke as if he was a terrible actor.

"Yeah, I think so." Replied the man in the pool.

"What's your name, son?"

"Min….Minoru Shiraishi. And I'm not young, sir. I'm actually thir…"

"Don't worry, boy; everything will be alright. Just remain there and I'll have the police investigate this immediately." The older man than walked off. Minoru defied his orders and left the pool, now soaking wet.

He walked along a trail surrounded by trees, thinking about what had just occurred. Akira Kogami, his co-host of Lucky Channel, had changed. Sure, she was always bipolar, but not like this. Minoru happened to claim that the Japanese voice actors for Naruto were far superior to the English ones. This caused a great dispute over the differences between Japan and America, which lead to him being tossed out of the building.

The strange thing was, Akira had never shown a liking for America. Why the sudden change of preferences?

Minoru's thoughts were pushed aside by the sound of shattering glass. It had emanated from beyond the trees to his right. Something inside of him forced him to run towards the noise.

He came to a clearing and saw an old house. An eerie atmosphere seemed to protrude from its front door, which seemed to be slightly opened. He was about to walk forward, but was stopped by the sound of familiar voices.

"Okay, fellow Edwardians. We must now prepare for the coming invasion of Edward Cullen haters and Harry Potter fanboys. Are there any questions?"

"Yeah; how long are you gonna dress up like Bella? You don't even look a thing like her."

"Ah, my fellow Kagamin. How naïve you are. Bella simply doesn't look like me."

Minoru shivered. Kagami and Konata were having an out-of-character conversation. Who the hell was Bella, and why was Konata not taking care in her cosplay?

Miyuki lifted her hand into the air, and Konata pointed at her. "Yes, Yuki-chan, what is it?"

"Um, well, it's kind of embarrassing, but I'm in Team Jacob; not Team Edward."

Everyone stared at their Moe friend. She was too precious to be shunned, however, so they all ran over to hug her.

Minoru had to get closer to see what was going on. They had to be playing a game. He snuck closer, but quickly hid inside the eerie house when the girls looked in his direction. The door suddenly swung shut, locking him inside.

"Hey, that's not funny. Who did this?" He called, attempting to hide the discomfort in his voice. He slammed on the door, but nothing happened. Footsteps sounded upstairs, and Minoru gulped.

"Show yourself. This isn't funny! I've fought bears, you know. If you don't show yourself now, I'll be forced to beat you down. I've…"

A slam sounded behind him, and he yelped in fright. He turned immediately and saw the old man from the pool.

"Sir, what are you doing here?" Minoru gasped. The man grimaced.

"I told you to stay in the pool, boy." The old man grabbed Minoru's throat with intense strength. Minoru tried to cry out, but no noise would come.

A clicking noise sounded throughout the room, and the next thing Minoru knew, he was all alone in a dark and dirty bathroom. He rose from the ground and looked into a mirror. He could barely see anything; even himself. A low guttural moan droned into his ears. It was emanating from the bathtub. He slowly looked inside…

Meanwhile, the old man had returned to the pool with police. Minoru was no longer in the pool.

"Damn it. I told him to stay here, Inspector. I really did." The old man said. He spoke as if he was reading from a script.

Inspector Juzo Megure, the present inspector, nodded. "So, a kid was tossed out of a four-story building and landed in this pool. He also was uninjured. Do you have any idea where he could have run off to?"

"No sir. This is a big place, and he could have gone…anywhere." The old man still seemed like a bad actor.

"Hmm, maybe I should report this to Kogoro. A lot of other strange things have been happening today. This country sure seems to be going to Hell." Megure spoke. He took out his phone and was about to call Kogoro, but the old man took the phone.

"Don't you dare call that drunk detective, Joseph. If he interferes now, all these years of preparation would disintegrate before his very eyes, and when he gets angry, people will die. You'll be placed high on the target list, and you will die slow and painfully."

Megure stared at the old man with a blank expression on his face. "Wh…who are you. And why did you call me Joseph?"

The man spoke again. "In due time, everything will become clear. Just make sure you tell Richard nothing about this. He'll find out in three days, anyways. Some man named Sojiro will request his help. By then, the events will be irreversible." The old man then threw the phone, and himself, into the pool.

"Sir. SIR!" yelled Megure. The other officers, who had just watched the events unfold, attempted to save the man. Once the body was recovered, however, it was too late. He had drowned himself, taking whatever secrets he knew with him to the grave.

Megure knew he should, but doubt prevented him from bringing this and many other cases to Kogoro, or Richard, as the old man called him.

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August 22- 10:25 A.M.

Deep inside the basement of the Hiiragi residence, two people stepped out of a strange ray of light. One man had blond hair and a blond beard, and the other seemed to have dreadlocks.

"Is this the place, Xaldin?" the Blond man asked?

"Yep. I sense many rip-offs present here, Luxord, but they're not all fanfictions. The rest are from American films, books, games, and other paraphernalia."

"Damn. Where do we start?"

"I'm not sure, but I think I sense yuri somewhere above us. That's bound to be hot. Let's go check that out and hope it doesn't rip anything off. We work from there."

"I'm down with that!"

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Luxord and Xaldin, two nobodies that established the Fanfiction Police on June 24, 2006, went upstairs in an attempt to find the hot yuri scene taking place at the Hiiragi residence. At the same time, Richard Moore and Sojiro Izumi are heading for the same exact house in order to discover more about this mystery.

Will they find out more about these strange happenings? Who was the old man who appeared in the flashback. What was Minoru's fate in the flashback, and why are the 'Lucky' girls obsessing over an overrated series that makes Postal's plot look like a masterpiece? Why hasn't Tsukasa said a single word yet? Why am I using an unfunny question gag that was old years before it came out? Will Saix and Demyx ever find out what cheese is made out of? And, will hot yuri be discovered upstairs?

If you actually care about these answers, then I recommend you review. If you don't, Haruhi will eat your soul in your sleep. Oh yeah; she'll go there…

Series featured in chapter: Case Closed/Detective Conan, Lucky Star, Kingdom Hearts, Twilight, ????? 2 (?), Ju-On/ The Grudge (?)