The blade was sharp, I felt it slide against my pale wrist. The blade cut deep, the pain...was exhilarating. I watched as the dark red liquid dribbled down my arm, dripping onto my pale blue shorts. My eyes were blank, full of nothingness, my heart full of sadness. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't feel anything. I was scared and lonely. Nothing anyone could do. I cried to myself. My tears blending with my cold red blood. My hands trembled as I made another cut under the previous one. The scars of the many of more light pink along my arm. My fingers played the blade like a piano. I felt my wrist being ripped apart, my flesh separating as the blade slid across my skin. I removed the blade and quickly washed the blood from it, my heart pounding with the excitement of the event that just took place. I looked upon the clock on the wall. I gasped and quickly bandaged the wounds and slipped on my wrist band. I pulled back my hair and ran towards the door. I heard my mother call me. No I don't wanna talk. I ran out the door for the school only blocks away. I could still feel the blood seeping in my bandage.

I saw the color of brown as my boyfriend and my best friends waved to me. I looked for him but he was nowhere. I waved back. They don't know what I do. I know they don't, I won't tell them either. He looked upon me with eyes full of love, and mine? Well they heldnothing. I heard Sango yell for me to hurry. I took off in a full blast run as I ran into his arms. He kissed me, but for some reason it didn't feel right. He's not the type of guy I like, but I thought I'd give him a chance. I couldn't find my best friend anywhere. Normally he's with Sango and Miroku, but they're alone. They hated my boyfriend, but they promised to keep it quiet because they care about me. But they didn't know about this...

"You okay?" He asked. I only nodded and turned away. He hugged me from behind as I linked fingers with him. I didn't want to talk, I just didn't. He wouldn't let up though.

"Kagz tell me what's wrong!" I shook my head and pulled from his grasp.

"Kagome what is your problem?" No response. He grabbed my shoulders and shook...hard. I said nothing. Don't touch me! Don't touch me please! I felt him pull away and the next thing I know his hand contacted with my right cheek. Sango gasped and Miroku stared in bafflement. He looked at me, then to my friends, then back at me. He realized what he had done and changed his tone.

"Kagome baby, I'm sorry." He reached for me. Sango and Miroku made their way to me from across the school yard, but someone yanked him away and flung him across the schoolyard. I felt two arms envelope me in a hug and I looked up. You came... Yes he did and I was glad.

"Hojo! Stay away from Kagome or else you'll deal with me!" He shouted. I looked across the schoolyard and mouthed... It's over! He took the hint... "Kagome says it's over! Now beat it!" I looked at him and he smiled at me. "Kagome are you okay?" I nodded.

Sango, out of nowhere met me with a hug, "What was his problem! Are you okay?" I shrugged then nodded. I was so happy they were here.

Inuyasha... I looked into his deep golden eyes and spoke for the first time that day, "Thank you Inuyasha." His loving eyes met my dead ones. He did something that made me jump inside... he kissed me. My eyes widened and I stared upon his closed ones. Mine slowly drifted close, kissing him back. Sango looked at Miroku and then back to me. The bell rang and I stepped back. Sango looked at me arm and screamed. Inuyasha looked at her.

"What?" Him and Miroku shouted. She pointed her finger at my right arm.

"Kagz you're bleeding!" Miroku and Inuaysha looked at it. He pulled up my arm and looked at me.

"What's this?" It was more a demand then a question. I ripped my arm away and turned around. He caught me and made me face him.

"Kagome?" I bowed my head. His soft gentle tone made me feel sad and I wanted to cry. He ripped away the band and the bandage and sighed. I heard a rip and tear of fabric and his red shirt covered the opened wounds. I knew I was about to be in extremely bad trouble. I felt as if I were two years old again, when I tried to climb a shelf for cookies. I closed my eyes tight and waited for his voice to penetrate my ears. What I felt and heard were not what I expected. His arms enclosed me in a warm embrace and his lips brushed against my ear as he whispered.

"Kagome... I love you." I gasped as the tears I held in escaped me and fell down my pale face. Loves me? How? I asked myself. He hugged me for the longest time and told Miroku and Sango to head on, I was going to see a doctor. They hugged me, told me they loved me, and ran off. I was gonna have to explain later.

-Doctor-

It was a long and boring trip. I rolled my eyes and the wanna-be-doctor told me that I shouldn't continue or else I would lose more blood. I had already lost a bunch, but I would be in serious trouble if I kept it up. I nodded and stood. He handed me a bottle of medication. "What's this for?" I whispered lightly. He looked at me oddly.

"If you feel the urge to cut, take a swig of that. It will create a warm feeling through your body. It's therapy liquid for your body. Stiffness and tension, stuff like that." I didn't know what the maniac was mumbling about, but I took it anyway.

Inuyasha greeted me by the door and looked at me. He grabbed my hand and smiled. I linked fingers with him and followed him to his car. He drove me to his house and took me inside. I was forced to tell him about Hojo and why I began to cut. I started to explain. Hojo abused me, but told me never to tell. He raped me, and said he'd kill me if I told anyone. Accused me of cheating. He hurt me and as soon as Inuyasha told me to tell him what happened, I broke down. Would Inuyasha protect me? Of course he would. I jumped into his arms as I cried. I told him I started to cut when Hojo first hit me and threatened me. When he raped me and abused me,I cut and cut...more and more. I looked into his eyes as he, Inuyasha, leaned against my touch and kissed me. He smiled as I smiled. A real smile curled upon my lips. I felt safe and... happy.

My heart began to pump faster with every look he gave me. My hands trembled at every touch he bestowed upon me. My skin burned with every kiss he placed upon me. I whispered into his ear as he kissed my collar bone. I love you. He smiled and kissed me long and sweet. I wrapped around him as he pulled me to the couch.

"We've been friends for so long Kagome. For seventeen years we've been together. We've been best friends forever and Kagome, I don't wanna be friends anymore. I want to love you." I smiled and accepted the fact he loved me and kissed him. My tears long dried away.

I touched his cheek. "I want to be with you forever. I love you too... my Inuyasha."

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Our souls became one.

Our hearts united.

With every kiss.

With every movement.

With every scream.

We became one.

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That night I became the one known as Inuaysha Takasugi's demon wife. A mate to him and no one else's. That night I had forgotten all about Hojo and all his torment. I finally felt loved and nothing could change that. I never knew this feeling would lead to my demise. The next day Hojo was seen with the school prep Chesa Mikato. They became the new couple of eleventh grade. She hates me and frankly I hate her. She would do things to you that made you wonder if she was even human to begin with. Her eyes would burn with anger towards me and her hands would fiddle with any close object she could reach whenever I neared her area of the school... so to speak.

That day was horrible. She threatened to kill me since I dumped Hojo, her so called 'Kami'. I just walked away. She followed me, pushing me in the near by lockers. My head hit the lever of the locker and began to throb. She started to turn. "Next time I'll get you." She ran off. I walked to the nurse where she cleaned my wound and sent me home.

The next month I awoke full of sickness. My chest hurt and my stomach ached. I had the worst headache ever imaginable and I couldn't see straight. Mom took me to the hospital. That was not the best thing to do. I was told that at the age of seventeen, I'm pregnant. Now Inuaysha told me about the whole demon thing, and in four months I'm suppose to produce a small baby pup. I knew he would be fine with it, but me? I wasn't ready! I ran to Inuyasha's house where I was greeted with a kiss and warm embrace. I didn't know how I was going to tell him so I faced the music and led him to the couch where this baby was conceived. I sat him there and listened to him talked about how he was going to make us a home when we graduated and how he was going to get me a wedding ring and perform a real wedding. He seemed rather happy. Way too happy for Inuyasha. I took him by the face and gazed into his golden orbs.

"Inuyasha?" He stopped talking and took my hands in his.

"Yes?"

"Inuyasha I'm..." I couldn't finish so he told me instead.

"Pregnant? I know. I knew two weeks ago. That's why I told you about the process of a half demon baby. It's why I am telling you all this now. I know and I couldn't be anymore than happy." I smiled then frowned. I wasn't ready...not yet anyway.

He kissed me and wrapped his arms around me. Holding me gently, yet tightly. I kissed back. I waited till Sango and Miroku got there before I left. I told Sango and she freaked. Miroku looked at Inuaysha with one of those perverted grins. That got him a slap against the head. I tried my best to smile, but I couldn't like I did the first time Inuaysha and I made love. My eyes received their original glow and my cutting problem? I was getting help. The day ended and I was very relieved. I was driven home and put to bed. My mom knew and that made it better... somewhat.

The next day was hell. Chesa found out about it and posted my picture for the school to see. Inuaysha, being the hanyou he is, was furious and lashed out on Hojo. That made Chesa angry and she took it out on me. That made Sango and Miroku mad. Sango lashed out on Chesa tearing her limb from limb, and I mean that by kicking her tail. Chesa is a evil human. To me she'd make one hell of a demon. I slowly dragged my way around the school all day with Inuaysha, Miroku, and Sango following close behind. By time the bell rang I was running for home. Inuyasha met up with me around twelve that night at my window. I opened it quietly as he crawled through.

"Why did you run after school?"

"Chesa was bothering me again." I replied simply. He nodded and we rested against my bed. I was perched in his lap and his arms around me. I sighed and nuzzled into him. Inuyasha couldn't hold it anymore.

"Kagome you don't want the baby do you?" I gasped.

"I... I... Inuyasha I don't know if I'm ready." He nodded and we began to talk.

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It's been three months and I look like a balloon. Yes I am very excited about the baby. Three months with morning sickness and Inuaysha and my friends support, I was well on my way with enjoyment for this child. My cutting has ceased to exist and I was recovering... slowly. I was slowly making my way through the beautiful house Inuyasha had made for me. It was built right beside the Tokyo Daycare. I was in the kitchen putting up dishes when my stomach pulsed and the feeling of pain rushed through me. I fell to the floor in a heap of pain. Inuyasha! I was willing to scream, but no words left my mouth. I tried to call for Sango, but nothing came to me.

I heard the front door open and I gasped. Inuyasha? No it wasn't him, it was Koga the daycare owner. He ran to me and helped me to the couch. I screamed as he told me to take breaths and try to calmly go through my contractions. I told him to call Inuyasha, which he did. Inuyasha rushed home faster than anything I ever saw before. I tried to breathe slowly and steadily, but nothing helped. Koga claimed he was a doctor so I allowed him to bring forth my child. I screamed and squeezed as Koga told me to push. Inuyasha growled as my hand clenched his tighter and tighter. It wasn't till four hours later I birthed the small infant boy hanyou Inuaysha and I named Kyo Takasugi.

I had put Kyo in the daycare next door as Inuyasha and I finished up our eleventh year of school. Koga took extremely good care of Kyo while we were away. Him and his wife Ayame Wolf. I was very pleased. I received more than enough torment from Chesa when I came back to school that week. She drove me over the edge. I finally confronted her about her irritating me. She wasn't pleased and attacked me. I fought back. She received a a black eye and a bloody nose. That was that of Chesa Mikato.

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This may seem fast like to you, but it's not. It's been two years since any of this happened and I no longer have the problem with school or anything anymore. I came to terms with Kyo and Inuyasha. I finally had the marriage I wanted and Kyo's now one. He's extremely smart for his age. Inuyasha has a job now. He works at the daycare with Koga. We manage the house with help from my cousin Kaugra who owns the house. She's rich so I have no problem with money. Inuaysha likes watching Kyo very closely. Koga and him have become good friends. Miroku even fits in with them.

Sango and me hang out all the time. Kyo spends half his days with his dad and half with me when I have to work. Other than that he's with both of us. My mom still supports me and watches Kyo when Inuaysha and I go out alone once a month. It's been a long two years and I am frankly happy it's in the good times. My life got a whole lot better once Hojo, Chesa and cutting left my life. Cutting was the hardest thing I had to quit doing. It took counseling, medication, and support to quit. I had a rough time with it, but all in all it was worth it. I heard Hojo was put in jail for robbing a bank. He was transferred to America and Chesa? Well let's just say that Tokyo hasn't looked cleaner...

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My Pain was written in place of my old story Bullies: Based on a True Event. I heard it wasn't the best in the world, so I decided to re-write it. I hope this was a little better. This took four days to plan and write so if it a stinks tell me. I'll try again.

P.S. I can't write well about cutting because I don't cut. I can't do that for I am afraid of pain. I wrote this by what I think, not what cutting is really about. So if I offended anyone, please... please don't feel like I am trying to put you down or make fun of you. I ain't I promise. I just wrote this out of what I think. All my opinion. Please don't hate me.

I love you all. Please read and review!Ja Ne.

Kagome 32