There's no time for us there's no place for us
One moment that was enough to mark him for a lifetime, followed by 13 years of disappointment, solitude and despair. Another moment of Godsend truth preceded a whole year of uncertain feelings and more solitude and then....
what is this thing that builds our dreams yet, it slips away from us?
The image of Sirius Black at the door of his cottage made him believe the time had come and things would be fine. The visit was to announce he -Voldemort- was back, but on top of everything else, Remus moved in with Sirius with the secret hope that this time things would work out.... he didn't count with the Weasleys living there too nor with Dumbledore sending him away long periods of time. So close and yet so far.
Who wants to live forever?
who wants to live forever?
who?
"Remus?" Kingsley Shackelbolt pulled him out of his thoughts
"yes?" he said realizing how much it ached him to talk "I just wanted to let you know that Harry and his friends are fine, Dumbledore's talking to Fudge, the death eaters are on their way to Azkaban" he said with a dark voice
"that's great" he managed to say making a huge effort to get a grip and don't cry
"do you want a moment alone?" the auror asked noticing the pain Remus simply nodded
"very well then" Kingsley replied "I'll make the arrangements and paperwork for, you know.... see you in a few" he put an affectionate arm on his shoulder before leave
There's no chance for us it's all decided for us
Sirius Black fell through the veil... A couple of hours ago they were about to have the talk Remus had hoped so much to have, and then the others came, Snape contacted them....they came out... and now they'll never had a chance to talk and work this out, rage and pain encouraged Remus to do something he would never do
This world has only one sweet moment
set aside for us
Remus performed a charm to have a moment to say goodbye , a last moment with Sirius was worth the risk of Azkaban
"Moony" Sirius voice was very clear and his silhouette was seen through the transparent veil "Performing dark arts?"
"I'm not hurting anyone" He said simply approaching the arch
"careful , dear, you are not to come join me"
"I..." Remus' voice trembled "we never really had a chance to have the talk"
"so we are having it now?" Sirius asked half amused half sad but definitely in peace
Who wants to live forever?
who wants to live forever?
who?
"Depends on you" Remus said "I just....need to know"
"even when now it won't change a thing?" Sirius asked carefully
"It would change a thing, Sirius" he pointed
"NO! " Sirius roared "You can't join me here " He ordered/Begged
"I won't, Padfoot, but I need to know... Do you remember what happened the night Lily and James died?"
Sirius gave up... after all he needed to have that talk if he wanted to rest in peace "I remember, I went to your house to check on you and tell you I had plans to check on Wormtail and hide myself and then at the door.."
"you kissed me" Remus said reliving said kiss
"yes" Sirius smiled "and then all hell broke loose"
"was it just a kiss , Sirius?" Remus asked heart on his sleeve
Sirius hesitated, wondering if telling Remus the truth would help him or just make him suffer even more, but the look in Remus' eyes was so... he needed to be honest to talk heart on his sleeve as well
"Okay Remus, Look at me" He asked and only when Remus could see the truth in his eyes he said "For all my life I've known that you're the one I was made for; ever since we met I've felt the urge to protect you, to love you to be with you... I never dared to tell you this until that night because deep down I knew I was dying there, and I did die that night....what happened to me ever since Lily and James died....." he swallowed "the only moments I felt alive involved you and Harry around, I do love you Remus, and always will, question is what about you?"
Now touch my tears with your lips
touch my world with your fingertips
Remus let out his cry "I've loved you from the first time I set my eyes on you on the train.... and always regretted the fact that I thought you were guilty, more like pretended I was because" he panted "because I never wanted to admit how much I need you in my life"
"I'll always be with you, I promise, but you must let yourself love again.. come here Moony, as much as you're allowed, I won't hurt you"
Remus approached and could feel the touch of a cold hand, and as he inhaled he felt Sirius' love and tenderness
And we can have forever,
and we can love forever
forever, is all today
Sirius caressed Remus through the veil , and somehow, they were back in Hogwarts, looking young and happy, pranking, sleeping in the same room, and sometimes in the same bed; letting the wolf play with the dog but this time they kissed each other and joined hands. all in a painfully loving kiss a kiss they were feeling as an eternity
Who wants to live forever?
who wants to live forever?
who?
"Now Remus, I know there's someone for you, you have to promise me to never forget me and move on so I can rest in peace, have a party, get drunk, give Snape a hard time for me every now and them ok?
the werewolf giggled "and you promise me to safe a spot next to you for me"
"I will, now go, I don't want you in Azkaban where you won't be able to remember me"
with that Sirius vanished... But Remus was in peace, he was loved, and ready to moved on with that truth.... to live until they meet again
As Remus left the room through the veil a sigh could be heard Sirius knew that was he would miss the most, but he acted out of love, and he knew that's the way it should be
who waits forever anyway?