Chapter 1: The Diagnosis
"America, are you feeling okay? You don't look so good."
"Dude, I'm fine!" America tossed his tissue into the trash. "Uh, 'scuse me?"
A waitress had passed by their table, and at America's call she turned around and came over.
"Oh, Mr. America! It's good to see you! Your usual?"
America leaned back in his chair. "That's right! You want anything, bro?"
Canada straightened his glasses. "Um… I'd like… Do you have mac & cheese?"
The waitress nodded. "Small, medium, or large?"
Canada hesitated. He and America were at an America restaurant, and you could never figure out how large a dish was until it was in front of you.
"Small, please."
"Anything to drink?"
"Uh, lemonade."
The waitress nodded again. "I'll be right back with your drinks." She hurried off.
Canada fondled his polar bear, Kumajirou, who was sitting on his lap. "Thanks so much for doing this with me, America."
"Anytime, bro!"
Canada glanced around. He and his brother were at a table outside a diner at America's place. A playful spring breeze tugged at Canada's curl.
America sneezed.
"Bless you." The waitress had returned with their drinks. Canada's eyes widened as America took a swig of his Coke: it was twice as large as Canada's glass.
Kumajirou snuffled and extended a tentative paw toward Canada's lemonade.
The waitress giggled. "Anything for the bear?"
Surprised, America seized the opportunity to feed his bear. "Ice water…. And a small plate of fish, uncooked, please."
The polar bear woofed happily.
"He says thank you," Canada continued with a grin.
The waitress smiled back. She opened her mouth to say something, but a call from another table cut her off. She gave the brothers a hasty nod and rushed away.
Canada looked up from his straw to see America staring at him. America immediately averted his eyes and became engrossed in something beyond Canada, sipping his Coke and gazing absently.
Canada felt mildly awkward. He hadn't spent time with his brother for a while, but America was never this quiet.
I wonder if he's okay….
Kumajirou broke the silence with a loud rumble and batted angrily at Canada's curl.
America jumped, broken out of his stupor, and laughed. Canada attempted to fend off the bear with one hand and keep his glass upright with the other.
Kumajirou scrambled up Canada's front and made himself comfortable with half of his body on Canada's shoulder and the other half on Canada's head. Canada grunted and abandoned his lemonade to try and grab the bear. Kumajirou did the grabbing, taking Canada's curl in his mouth and yanking.
"You win, Kumojira," Canada mumbled.
"Dude," America snorted, "you just got owned by a polar bear."
Kumajirou made a noise through his noise that sounded not unlike teasing laughter. Canada sighed. "Please get off me…."
"Who are you?" the bear asked, almost mockingly.
Canada sighed again. That was the only English phrase Kumajirou could (or would) say, and it bothered Canada deeply. But all he said was, "I'm Canada."
"Well, Canada, here's your mac & cheese!"
The waitress had approached without any of them noticing, not even Kumajirou. The bear sniffed the air once and his eyes lit up. Using Canada as a springboard, he leapt onto the ground and sat doglike at the waitress's feet, his tongue lolling out of his mouth, which was set in a goofy grin.
"Here you are, Mr. Bear." The waitress giggled and placed two dishes on the ground. Kumajirou took a second to rub his head against the waitress's leg before plunging his muzzle in one of the plates.
"He's like a cat and a dog at the same time," the waitress commented. Kumajirou turned and gave her a clumsy thumbs-up, something neither a cat nor a dog can do.
"Oh, he's so adorable!" the waitress gushed. She put a plate in front of America and bent to scratch Kumajirou's ears.
Canada was used to the attention Kumajirou attracted and began to eat his mac & cheese. It was delicious.
The waitress rose and nodded at the brothers before departing. "Enjoy!"
Canada looked over at America's plate and froze with his fork halfway to his mouth.
"America, are you sure you can eat all that?"
America's plate had two very large hamburgers on a sea of French fries.
"Sometimes I bring part of it home for dinner," America explained as he picked up one of the burgers.
"Okay," Canada conceded.
America took a massive bite out of his hamburger.
For a bit America was too busy eating to have a proper conversation, but soon he put down his half-eaten burger and said, "I'm gonna get a box."
Canada looked over at America, taken aback. America could eat a whole hamburger at midmorning and still be hungry for lunch. Canada shrugged mentally. Maybe America had had a late breakfast. He had come to the meeting a bit late….
Wanting to reassure himself, Canada swallowed his mouthful and attempted to start a conversation. "This is really good mac & cheese."
America nodded absently. "Yep…. Really good."
"America, are you okay?"
America gave Canada an irritated look. "I told you, I'm fine. Um, could I have a box, please?"
The waitress had walked up. She nodded at America, seeming somewhat surprised.
As Canada finished his mac & cheese, America sipped lazily on his soda. Kumajirou licked his dish clean and came over to America, tugging on his pant leg. America smiled and bent to tickle the bear under the chin in a rare display of gentleness.
The waitress returned and emptied America's plate into a box. She collected the dishes and asked, "Do you want dessert?"
"Of course! That's the best part!" America exclaimed. "Canadia, you want anything?"
"I'll just have a small vanilla ice cream."
America tapped his chin with one finger. "Hmm… I feel like one of those twisty chocolate-vanilla soft-serves… Y'know what I mean?"
The waitress smiled, amused. "I know what you mean. Okay, I'll be right back!"
Kumajirou had hidden when the waitress approached and poked his head out from under the table when she left.
America took off his glasses and rubbed an eye with the heel of his hand. Kumajirou noticed this and darted from his hiding spot to jump on America's lap, sniffing intently at America's hand and eye at the same time. America gasped, startled, and suddenly started coughing. Kumajirou hopped off of America's laugh and shook himself.
"You okay?" Canada asked.
"I got some of his fur stuck in my throat," America spluttered.
Canada was almost certain he was lying but didn't object.
"Ice cream's here," the waitress announced. "And here's the check for whenever you're done, no rush. Enjoy!"
"We will!" Canada called after her.
America picked at his "twisty-chocolate-vanilla-soft-serve" and decided to bring that home too. "It just doesn't taste as good as it usually does."
"Mine tastes fine," Canada commented. He didn't bother to tell America that the waitress had given him a medium.
The rest of the meal passed somewhat awkwardly: America's energy had given out and he was unusually quiet. Canada ate most of his ice cream and gave the rest to Kumajirou.
"Oh no!" America groaned suddenly.
"What is it?" Canada asked, alarmed.
"I lost my wallet."
Before Canada could do anything, Kumajirou whined loudly. The brothers looked down and Canada sighed. "You little rascal!"
Kumajirou whined again and let the American-flag-patterned wallet fall from his mouth.
"Honestly…," America grumbled irritably. He snatched up the wallet and slipped a bill into the check.
They went back to the car in a palpable silence. America plopped into the driver's seat and visibly relaxed. "We're going to my place to chill, right?"
Canada buckled his seatbelt and let Kumajirou climb onto his lap. "That's right."
There is a line beneath this text but I'm not sure if it appeared
The car pulled into the driveway at America's house. America and Canada got out, followed by Kumajirou. The polar bear was the only one with energy. Canada was sleepy from the meal, and America… He just hadn't been himself lately.
America disappeared into the kitchen with his leftovers. Canada made himself comfortable on the couch. America joined him a moment later, and they sat there, unsure of what to do next.
"Do you want to watch a movie?"
"Sure," America mumbled. "But not some romance movie like Twilight. I can't watch romance movies after eating, it's just…." He stuck out his tongue and shook his head. "Just gross."
Canada smirked and pulled Independence Day off of the DVD rack.
As the movie started to play, Tony the alien wandered in with a bowl of popcorn and sat between Canada and America, watching raptly and making rude gestures at the TV from time to time. Finally Kumajirou clasped Tony's thin alien hands between his furry paws and growled.
Tony watched the movie all the way to the end. The popcorn had been pushed aside and Kumajirou had laid on Tony's arms and lap, eventually falling asleep. Canada, who had never seen the movie before, stayed awake for the whole thing.
As the credits began to roll, Tony slid off of the couch, knocking the sleeping Kumajirou to the floor and eliciting yips of protest from the bear. Kumajirou scrambled to his paws and began chasing Tony around the couch.
Canada stretched. "That's a good movie, eh, America? …America?"
America was sprawled on his side of the couch, fast asleep.
Canada had just made up his mind to let his brother sleep when Tony scrambled over the top of the couch and landed his whole weight on America. America woke with a start to see Kumajirou sliding down the couch after the alien. The blanket draped over the back of the couch came with them, and the bear and alien soon became entangled in it as they tussled.
"Get off him, guys!" Canada urged.
America shoved impatiently at the struggling creatures with little effect. Canada reached into the fray and managed to grab Kumajirou by the scruff of his neck, holding him out of Tony's reach.
"You guys should know better!" Canada scolded. "Especially you, Kumujira!"
Kumajirou growled and swiped at Tony. Tony hopped backwards and blew a raspberry.
"He's just trying to provoke you," Canada continued, "so don't let him!"
Kumajirou went limp in Canada's grip and whined.
"That's better." Canada let go of the bear, and he curled in Canada's lap and bared his teeth at Tony.
"Lay it off, Tony," America ordered.
Tony made a very rude gesture at Kumajirou and scurried out of the room.
Canada turned his attention to America. "Are you doing okay?"
America shrugged and laid his head back on the couch again.
A worm of anxiety crept into Canada's belly. He leaned over, making Kumajirou snort and abandon his lap.
America's face was flushed and he was breathing fast. His T-shirt was dampened with sweat.
"America?"
"Whaddaya want?" America muttered without opening his eyes.
"I think you're sick."
"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm fine."
"America, you're sick."
There was a note of definiteness in Canada's voice that caught America's attention. He opened his eyes halfway and looked at his brother.
"I'm sick?"
"Yes. I think you have a fever."
"You think I have a fever…," America echoed with a grumble. His muttering trailed off into a cough.
"Yes," Canada replied firmly. "And I'm going to take your temperature."
He fetched a thermometer from the bathroom and stuck it in America's mouth. It beeped after a bit.
100.2 F / 37.9 C, Canada read to himself. A pit opened in his stomach. America is really sick!
"What is it?" America asked, noticing the look on Canada's face.
"A hundred point two," Canada told him softly.
America blinked in surprise. "That's a fever."
No duh. "And you said you were okay!"
America shrugged.
Canada sighed and went in the kitchen. He came back out with a cup of juice, a pill, and a wet cloth.
"What is that? Some kind of illegal drug?" America looked suspiciously at the pill.
Canada rolled his eyes. It's your kitchen, dummy. Do you have illegal drugs in your kitchen? "No, it's Tylenol. To bring your fever down."
"And this?" He sniffed the juice in the cup Canada handed him.
"It's apple juice."
"Apple juice?! Where the #*!% did you find apple juice? I don't have any apple juice. Can't I have soda instead?"
"I found it in the back of your fridge." Canada handed America the pill. "And I'd rather you drink apple juice than soda."
"Why?"
"Caffeine dehydrates you. Now, I want you to drink all of it."
America let out a gusty sigh, but there was no fight left in him. Obediently he swallowed the pill and drained the cup.
"Happy?"
Canada stepped back and gazed at America. His glasses were crooked. His brow was creased. His face was flushed. One of his pant legs was rolled up, and his coat was spread out on his lap. The blanket over the back of the sofa had fallen a while ago, and America had sloppily covered himself with it, in addition to his coat. Since Canada had gotten up he had swung his legs over the side of the couch and managed to take up the whole sofa.
Basically, America looked pretty pathetic.
"Yes."
Canada put the wet cloth on America's forehead. America sighed and relaxed. "Hey, thanks."
"No problem." Canada adjusted the blanket to cover all of America. "Now, you just rest, okay? I'm not going anywhere."
Then he settled down on a nearby chair with a book and began to read.
I do not own Hetaila, Twilight, or Independence Day.