The Dark Days of Candy Chiu
A Shooting Star Falls Story
July 4th, 2017: Today was a rough day for me… The whole group got together for a huge party at Tambry's house for the fourth. Grenda, Tambry, Lee, Nate, Alexa, Wendy and of course, Dipper were all there. I could feel his pain… He tried to make the best of it and put on a good face for his friends, but I know he's hurting… Because I am too… We all are. Something was missing… Or should I say someone. It's been a month since Pacifica and Mabel passed away and every day I wake up hoping that it was some horrible nightmare. That it's June 3rd again and the four of us are going to go to the mall. We'd have fun shopping and checking out boys… Just another normal day. Sadly, that wasn't the case this morning… Or any since for that matter.
I miss them so much. Pacifica was getting better with her attitude and was actually pretty cool to hang out with most of the time. Plus, she gave me killer fashion advice. I miss Mabel most of all though. Over the past few years we'd grown quite close. Almost like sisters. It's not fair… It's just not fucking fair! She was such an awesome person! She made my life more exciting by being in it! I have a hard time controlling myself sometimes… And she made me feel okay to be that way, because she did too! I wasn't a spaz or a weirdo, 'cause Mabel was like that too sometimes. 망할 놈! 나는 모든 영원 토록 지옥의 불로 타격하기를 희망한다! 너는 하나님의 아들이다! Sorry… Got a bit carried away there… Well, not really… I swear, if I couldn't drink, I'd… Well… Maybe not best to talk about all that… Wendy knows that I look at her scar every now and again. I don't care! I'm kinda jealous that she had to courage to try it… I'm totally fucked in the head, aren't I? Sorry if I'm rambling a bit, but I've had, like, an entire bottle of vodka and I gotta admit… I'm feeling great… I know it'll go away though and I'll be right back where I started.
도움이 필요해! 나는 이것을 처리 할 수 없다! 내일 웬디 한테 얘기 할거야 ... 그녀는 어떻게 대처할지를 알았을거야. 내 말은, 그녀는 자신을 죽이려고했는데, 그녀가 원한다면 그녀가 일을 끝낼 수 있다는 것을 알았을 때, 그녀는 여전히 여기에 있습니다. 나는 그녀가주의를 기울여 그것을했을지도 모른다라고 생각한다. 나는 그런 식으로 느끼는 것이 나쁘지 않습니까? 나는 아닌가요? I… I just wish everyone knew how much I hurt… Oh well… I gotta get ready for tomorrow… We're going to the lake for a bonfire and I need time to sleep this off. So I can drink again… To forget. Damn. Yeah, I'm definitely fucked up…
Later,
Candy Chiu 3
Author's note: So, I originally posted this a while ago, but wasn't too happy with how it turned out or worked in the canon of my AU, so I deleted it. This takes place the evening of Scarred Summer: A Shooting Star Falls Story (Shameless Plug). I wanted to show how Candy was dealing with the loss of her best friends and her downward spiral of self-medication. I did this in the form of a journal entry, because I feel like that is the only place a reserved person like Candy can cut loose. For those of you wondering, some of it was written in Korean. I translated as best I could, but I'm sure it seems a bit out of sorts to a native speaker, so sorry if I butchered it. I just felt like she had to have another layer to portray her darkest feelings, in the unlikely event that someone read her journal. I hope you enjoyed and once again, thank you so much for reading and reviewing!