Katrine Vesterhaab
Fanfic dedicated to my lovely Roomy VeraSofie Scou: Maulin Roque
13/1 2011
The small light cast shadows in the small room. I cough in the stall and dusty air twirling an eternal dance in the faint light, looking almost like mischievous little fairies chasing each other in a game of tag. Listlessly I hold my hand in up so it gets caught between the flickering light and fleeing shadows. While observing my hand I can almost forget where I am. Loosing myself in a well of memories filled with light laughter, green leafs floating gently on the lazy summer wind. And…. You were there.
A small glimmer in your eye, a teasing smirk formed upon your perfect red lips. I ask myself for the umpteenth time whether I would have been better off, if I had left in a cloud of self-righteous fury and with a heart in pieces. Would I still be sitting on a dirty floor? In a room filled with little to no light, no windows and no way out? Or would I have journeyed across land and borders, in search for a way to, if not heal, at least bury and mend my broken heart. Instead your sweet voice called me back, beckoning me to turn around and accept your embrace once again. Shortly after finally finding my place inside your pale and too thin arms, I found out the truth. The truth that caused you to despair and try to chase me away. My love, you were already standing on deaths doorstep and you didn't wish to take me with you when you would leave for deaths cold arms. You asked me with your dying breath to go on living, to go on to tell the world our story. To let them feel our heartbreak and hear our songs with the very fibre of their being. But I'm sorry my dear, I cannot fulfil you last request to me, neither does it look like your wish for my continued wellbeing will be granted.
Scarcely a day after your funeral, the duke and his men broke into our `sitar player's humble aboard´ where we used to meet in the evenings, and dragged me blindfolded with them to this naked cell. Apparently he wants revenge for the last few moments of your life that I supposedly stole from him… seems like the Duke still lives on in his world of delusion where you loved him, and I was the nasty filth under his shoes that poisoned your fragile mind.
…. Heh… I wonder if you would kick him if he ever gathered the courage to say that to your face.
Santine, I'm sure you're watching from your place in heaven, therefore I am certain that you are aware what awaits me tomorrow. While I know no details, I know the Duke has ordered the end to my life. Don't be sad for me, beloved. It wasn't what you wished for, certainly, but try to understand that I have no regrets in leaving this world behind. My one and only fear is that of whether or not my heart is pure enough to end up where your soul reside. My life is empty without you in it, my sweet. I pray that you can forgive me in my selfishness in not despairing at being reunited with you before you wished it.
The sound of resounding footsteps filtered in from the door. And soon, too soon, they paused outside the door before I see the door begin to open. Almost in slow-motion, I watch the handle being pressed down. And the dust, that had finally settle down in an uneven pattern on the hard surface, was disturbed and starts their playful dance anew.
The time has come, my love. Soon I'll be able to see your face again, be able to softly trail my fingers through your soft silky again and of course, be able to kiss your soft and full, rose-red lips again. I just hope you will be smiling, instead of being angry at me for giving up on life so soon after your death.
But I'm sure that you, of anyone, will be able to understand my reasons. After all: `The Greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love and be loved in return.