Have you ever had the feeling where everything in your life has turned into the opposite of what you thought it would be? Where everyone you tried to keep close so as to block out the darkness have fallen and become something you never imagined they would? Or how the very people you did your best to avoid have replaced those fallen companions? Its quite a crippling feeling to realize your life has become the very thing you didn't want it to be. And its ironic. The irony is almost laughable. Almost. Not quite though; its still somewhat of a tragedy.

Yet, I can't bring myself to regret it. Granted, my life has become the very thing I tried to avoid, but regardless, I allowed it to become what it is. The very creatures I feared have become my subjects; the people I care the most about.

My friends out in the real world are not the people I thought they were. I will do my best to protect them from the darkness I now belong too, but I love this darkness. It is my home now.

And him. I tried so hard not to get caught up in him and who he is. Now he was something I definitely tried to avoid. Where was the fairness in this mess of a situation I've been dragged into? Not only was I born into a world I wanted nothing to do with, but now I was part of that world. And the one person I hated the most out of it all, is the same person I'm to rule with for an eternity! Not mention the undeniable attraction I feel towards him. But I already have someone that I love. Had. I've forgotten its past tense now.

Another slice of irony. In his quest to keep me away from Keenan, Seth pushed me so much closer. He disappeared for six months! Even if it was only a month for him, it was six agonizingly long months. He just left. Gone. I didn't know where he was and a apart of me died. How could he? I know he did it for me, which is where Irony enters. He did this for me, and yet, he pushed me away in doing so. Right into the arms he hated the most. I'm still fighting against it. I still love Seth. But he has changed. And not for the better. He just isn't…Seth anymore. And that breaks my heart.

All of these voices in my head keep telling me I'm being an idiot. To stay with Seth. To keep as much normalcy in my life as I can. But he isn't normal anymore. All that's left is Gram. And even she will fall away one day. And I'll be left with nothing of my previous life. Not even Seth.
While he was gone, just before he reappeared without a care in the world, I was beginning to succumb to Keenan. To allow myself to begin to fall in love with him. To find my way with Keenan by my side. And I was enjoying every minute of it. Then Seth returned. And my two worlds collided. And now I have a decision to make. Only, I'm not so sure I want either of them at this point.
Seth abandoned me. And without heartfelt departing words either. He left me a message on my phone, basically saying only goodbye and to not try to contact him. How dare he question why I moved on? He left me no other option. I thought he was gone forever!

And then Keenan; Keenan who knew exactly how much I was hurting during the time Seth was away. What did he do? He tried to comfort me. He tried to keep his distance. Hell, I tried to keep my distance. We both knew that while I was vulnerable we would have to fight the urge to be together. But when you have to vulnerable, hurting people who are destined to be together but fighting it, they're going to either crash and burn alone or together. We chose to be together. And that was when Seth returned. Abruptly and out of the blue; traditionally Seth. That same day was when I found out that Keenan knew. He knew exactly where Seth was. And he chose not to tell me. So many choices. He didn't tell me for his own selfish reasons. And yet…

I have another choice to make. Seth, or Keenan.

Seth, the boy who I've loved for what seems like forever. The boy who believed me where everyone else in the world would have thought I was a nut case. The boy who gave up his very mortality for me. He belonged to the High Court now, all in an effort to keep me away from those I feared. How could I say no to that boy? The very same boy who disappeared for six months leaving me all alone.

Or Keenan. The faerie who'd managed to drag me into a world of hate and darkness. The faerie who I was apparently made for. The faerie who was more or less responsible for my mother's death. The faerie who had hidden and lied about so many things to me. The faerie who was in love with our enemy. The faerie who was also in love with me. The faerie who had made so many mistakes in an effort to bring us closer together, trying to do right by our kingdom and at the same time, knowing he was sacrificing my opinion of him in doing so. He knew very well what I would do should his treacheries be discovered, but at the risk of jeopardizing our fey, he could not avoid taking the risk.

Who do I choose? How can I make this decision without going mad from the irony of either decision I make? How? Why? In this moment, I officially know that justice eludes even those who deserve it. Not that I deserve any justice. How can I when I'm about to hurt someone whom I love very much. It sucks! I have to make a choice and no matter which one I make, someone and myself are going to hurt. Badly. Damn it!

I've made my decision. I think.

"Keenan? We need to talk."

The next three words were words I had a feeling I was going to deeply regret. But they had to be said. For the good of everyone. I'll sacrifice what's right so that I may benefit those I need to.

"I choose you."

With this much sunlight in one room, maybe I didn't choose darkness after all.

I'm so sorry Seth. Forgive me. I love you too. I love you both. But Keenan…I choose Keenan.

I didn't have to tell him. He knew. He knew simply by the tears pouring from my face.

"You're beautiful when you cry, you know that?"

I shook my head.

"Seth..."

He shook his head in return.

"I know. He'd better treat you right or I will kill him. Don't think I wont."

I stared at him, unable to stop the tears. How could I do this to him? I hate myself! Why was he being so calm? He needed to hate me too!

"Seth. Yell at me. Hate me. Please."

"I love you Aislinn. How could I?"

"No! Damn it you don't love me! You hate me! God, just say it!"

Seth walked forward and took me in his arms where I cried into his shoulder.

"I will always love you. Forever. Remember, I'm here forever now too."

I pushed him away.

"No."

He looked at me, confused.

"I need to go. You wont be seeing me again for a long time."

"Ash-.."

I cut him off. I had to. It's the only he'll let go.

"Seth. I have to go."

I pulled my hood back over my head. No one needed to know I was here; thus the strange renaissance cloak.

Before I stepped out of his train-car house, I half turned and whispered so low I pray he didn't hear me,

"I love you too."

Seth POV

How could I deal with seeing her with him for an eternity? How could I have been so stupid so as to let her go? The moment she told me she had to go, I could feel myself break apart. God I hate Keenan. With everything left of me and everything falling apart, I hate him. I always will. For an eternity. What a fragile eternity it was now. And yet, Aislinn stopped just outside my front door.

"I love you too," she whispered.

She must have forgotten I'm Faerie now, because I distinctly and clearly heard her.

I hate Keenan.

Author's Note: Ok...too random? I mean I'm a supporters of Ash and Keenan thanks to Fragile Eternity, but I figured Ash really cant just stop loving Seth. So I could foresee having to make a decision and I think in the end, Keenan is goign to be her decision. ONE because shes stuck with him for an eternity. TWO because Seth was a butt. ANYWAYYYYY lets hear your thoughts! Review :D