A/n: Why hello there!! So, my lessons at school got cancelled today and this came out of me in my boredom. I hope you like it...! :D
Don't Want To Lose Her.
Shane Gray let his feet hit rhythmically against the beach, pounding harshly against the grains of compacted sand, his arms moving furiously at his sides. He kept his breathing as steady as he possibly could as he looked over the terrain of golden dust in front of him, the thrashing waves to his right. He could see the sun glistening radiantly off of the water, the sound of water hitting rocks coursing through his eardrums. That and the small hum that protruded from his lips, the tune of "This is me" entering the air and travelling across the adventurous waves. It had been three years since Camp Rock, since he had first heard that exquisite song, yet it had never left him.
The song always made him think of Mitchie, for obvious reasons, she was his best friend, his rock, his salvation, and at one time his lover. But not anymore, he had foolishly let her slip through is fingers, her had watched their love fall and crumble but he did nothing to stop it. Shane cursed as the depressing thoughts of his old relationship with Mitchie crashed into his mind, even more savagely than the waves smashing against the cliffside. He had a tendency, whenever alone, to think back to her, his mind plagued with regrets and wishes. He regretted the way he treated her, he regretted putting his career before her, and most of all, he wished he could go back into time and change everything.
Shane felt a lump form in his throat as he thought back to that night, the night that ended his life. It was the evening of their one year anniversary, Shane had been late, as he always was, but Mitchie usually greeted him warmly, despite his lack of punctuality. But that night Shane knew something was different, he opened the door to find Mitchie stood in the hallway, arms wrapped around herself and tears pouring over her cheeks. She told him that she had had enough of being put last, she had had enough of being treated like she was nothing. Shane apologised over and over, but instead of accepting she just gathered her suitcases in her arms. Shane had begged her to stay, pleaded with her not to leave him, but she didn't listen and she left, closing the door behind her, and closing the door on their relationship.
It had taken seven months for Shane to pluck up the courage to call her. He didn't want to beg anymore, he just wanted to talk to her, to see if she was OK, but most of all, to hear her voice. They had spoken for a small amount of time, the suprise clear in her voice, but it wasn't enough for Shane, he needed to see her, he needed to have her in his life, even it was only as a friend. It had been shaky at first, awkward silences dominating their thinning conversations, but after a month or so they seemed to be back to normal, their friendship perhaps even stronger than it was before.
It had been just over a year since their renewed friendship, about two years since their relationship had fallen apart, yet Shane still harboured an unhealthy amount of love for her, he just couldn't control himself. He had had a few girlfriends since then, but nothing significant, nothing that latest longer than a few months. No one was good enough, no one could even compare to the sensational human being that was Mitchie Torres.
She, on the other hand, had started dating someone just over five months ago, it seemed serious, and that thought was enough to drive Shane Gray insane. He smiled and told Mitchie he was happy for her, he had even greeted Damien with politeness. But in private he openly loathed the guy, cursing his name and existence, punching walls, even shedding a few tears on more than one occasion.
What Shane hated most about Damien was that he was brilliant, he was perfection personified. He was everything any girl could wish for in a guy, and he couldn't help but be overwhelmed with jealousy. If Shane had acted the way Damien did, Mitchie would still be in his arms, he would be able to kiss her and hold her, and tell her just how amazing she was. Shane didn't doubt that Damien did those things for Mitchie now, and he was glad for her, after all, he prayed for Mitchie's happiness more than anything in the world.
"Mitchie?" Shane whispered under his breath as he slowed his pace, his eyes looking at the small form that was sat in a sand dune, her small body surrounded by large shoots of grass. She was quite far away, brunette hair dangling in front of her face as she stared down at something in her lap. Shane picked up his speed again, changing his direction to the figure in the distance, it didn't take him long to reach her.
"Mitchie?" Shane said again a little breathless. The figure looked up slowly, it was Mitchie. She looked over Shane, giving him a watery smile as she recognised him.
"Hey." Mitchie whispered before returning her eyes to her lap, where her hands were playing with a small object, a small object that Shane couldn't quite see.
"Are you ok?" Shane asked suddenly, concern evident in his tone.
"Yeah.." Mitchie said slowly, bit she didn't look up, and her voice was shaking, Shane knew she was lying.
"Are you going to tell me the truth?" Shane retorted, Mitchie looked up again, the trace of a smile upon her lips.
"You always know when I'm lying." She mused, shaking her head slightly before she looked down once again into her lap.
"'Fraid so." Shane replied, narrowing his eyes as he looked at her stance, he concluded that something was definitely bothering her, so he quickly glided forward, taking a seat next to her.
"…It's Damien." Mitchie finally choked out. Shane mentally cursed himself for feeling a buzz of happiness soar through him at the heartbreak in her tone.
"What happened?" Shane questioned thoughtfully, thankful that she still had her head dipped, preventing her from seeing the flicker of delight that had crossed his features.
"…He…he.." She started, but stopped herself, letting out a deep sigh.
"He what?" Shane pressed wanting more than anything to hear to hear the words 'He broke up with me.' Shane winced minutely as he thought the words, he was officially the worst friend ever, he should never wish that upon anyone, especially Mitchie, but he just couldn't control himself.
Mitchie dipped her head even lower as a groan escaped her lips, it wasn't an exasperated groan, more of a 'I'm giving up' groan, the sort of groan that caused Shane to feel overwhelming concern for his friend and the overwhelming need to hurt Damien.
"He gave me this." Mitchie finally muttered, raising her hand and letting Shane see the object that she had been so deeply interested in. Shane felt his chest tighten as his eyes took in the sight before him.
"Is that…Is that an engagement ring?" Shane said through a shaky breath. There was silence and Shane was certain that he heard his heart break into a thousand irreparable pieces.
"Yep." Mitchie replied bluntly before dropping her hand back into her lap and twiddling the glistening object between her fingers. Shane turned his head away from Mitchie, his eyes taking in the scenery around him.
How could this be happening?
He had lost her, there was no way back, she would get married, she would start a family, she would have children….and it wouldn't be with him, something he had always planned. Shane suddenly felt the urge to be sick as his head began to spin, her one word had stunned him, bringing his world crashing down and his heart jolting to a stop. He had lost her. There had always been a small part of Shane that thought that they would inevitably end up together, he loved her too much to believe there was no hope. He had never even thought of another option, he just assumed, he had stupidly assumed, that she would one day run back into his arms. Shane pressed his lips into a hard line as he ran a hand over his face, there was only one thing he new for certain now, just one thing; He had lost her.
Wait!
Shane abruptly thought as something crashed into his mind.
"Why aren't you happy?" Shane questioned tenderly as he returned his gaze to Mitchie, who turned her head to him, her dark hair now blowing wildly with the breeze.
"…I am, I'm just…" Mitchie replied unconvincingly, shaking her leg impatiently as she couldn't think of the right words. "I haven't given him an answer yet." Mitchie added, sighing once again as she pawed her hair from her eyes.
"You haven't?" Shane repeated, his voice raising in pitch. Mitchie shook her head, staring deeply into Shane's brown eyes before biting her lip and turning back to the ocean.
"I'm thinking about it. I just…I don't know what to do…" Mitchie finally concluded, dropping her shoulders as she felt the weight of the situation bearing down upon her. "I need to make a decision." Mitchie added, Shane realising that she was talking to herself more than him.
Shane looked at her, taking in her image, she was the picture of beauty, peace and serenity yet she was tinged with turmoil and heartache.
"I should go…I really need to think." Mitchie whispered as she rose to her feet, brushing the sand from her clothes as she did.
"Wait!" Shane blurted out, darting into a standing position. He knew now what he had to do, he had to do it before it was too late, before he had without a doubt lost her, with no way of finding her again.
"What?" Mitchie asked softly as she turned to face him.
"Before..." Shane stopped, clenching his fists as he attempted to find the right words to say. "Before..." He said again, groaning slightly as he ran a disgruntled hand through his windswept locks. "There is something you need to know, before you make your decision." Shane finally exclaimed, watching as Mitchie's brows furrowed in confusion.
"I know this probably won't change anything but I need you to know, I just…I need you to know." Shane told her, his eyes not moving from hers. "I'm not asking for anything, I just can't live with this regret, I can't not try, I can't just sit in here quietly…." Shane paused, taking a deep breath. "I still love you…" He finally blurted out, wincing at how blunt and sharp the words sounded.
Shane studied Mitchie, her eyes wider than he had ever imagined possible, her body stiff and motionless as she seemed to soak in the words. After an uncountable amount of time Shane opted to speak once more, his eager heart finding the silence difficult.
"I'm not asking for you to say it back, I know part of you still hates me for what I did to you back then Mitch. But I promise you that I've changed, I know now that I was wrong to treat you the way I did, I was stupid and oblivious to the fact I was pushing you away, and I will never stop regretting it. I mean it Mitchie, I really do. I've never stopped loving you and I doubt I ever will, it kills me to watch you with that guy, I can't help thinking about how things could have been if I'd just treated you better. But I know that now Mitchie, I know that you were and still are the most important thing in my life, not singing, not money, not anything…" Shane stopped for a second, taking a few deep breaths before continuing. "If you want to marry Damien, then please just tell me now…I can still be there for you, I can still be happy for you. If you break my heart now, it's ok, because I won't have to live with the regret of you not knowing just how much I love you."
Shane took another deep breath as his speech came to an end. He had never felt so vulnerable in his life; he had never felt so exposed. The girl he had once treated so badly could now break him in half with just a single word. Shane watched silently as Mitchie seemed to sway from side to side, her eyes glazed over with a strange glassy look over her eyes, but Shane quickly realised that they were tears.
"I thought…I thought you were over me." She whispered, her eyes not quite meeting his.
"No…" Shane replied with a sad smile.
"You…you didn't call for seven months." She relied sorrowfully, the first tear breaking free and slipping down her cheek.
"You walked out, I could barely do anything Mitch. You broke my heart." Shane admitted, looking down at the floor as the pain felt so fresh.
"I'm sorry. I just couldn't…" Mitchie whispered, her voice breaking as she did. Neither had spoken of that fateful day since it had happened, it was too hard, for both of them.
"Don't apologise, it was my fault." Shane said immediately, returning his gaze to Mitchie who was now looking out at the sea, biting her lip to fight back some of the tears. She raised her hand slightly, stretching out her palm, her eyes falling upon the ring, the sun hitting the sparkling diamond. She whispered something incoherent under her breath as more tears fell into her palm.
"I'm sorry, Mitchie. For everything I did back then, for this, I guess....I guess shouldn't have put this on you. I know you probably still hate me." Shane said after another slight silence, his hand rubbing consciously over his face once more.
"How can you think that, we're friends." Mitchie replied, confusion clear in her voice.
"I know, but I always suspected that you did…even just a little. Sometimes, you'd look at me weirdly…you know, like you were wondering what the hell you were doing..." Shane mused thinking back to odd glances he had received from Mitchie over the last months. His eyebrows suddenly raised as a bitter laugh left Mitchie's lips.
"I tried, I really did. I wanted to hate you, I didn't want to be your friend. But, I couldn't live without you in my life. I needed to see you, I needed you to be there." Mitchie admitted, looking at Shane innocently. "The looks I gave you, they weren't because I hated you….they were because I still loved you….because I still love you."
Shane felt his mouth dry as the words left her mouth, he was shocked to his very core, stunned into a unmoving stupor. There were so many things revolving through his mind as he studied Mitchie's flawless features. Did she mean it? Would she take him back? Should he kiss her? Was it too soon? What about Damien?
"Damien?" Was all Shane managed to whisper, his tongue numb along with the rest of the limbs in his body.
"Why do you think I haven't given him an answer yet?" Mitchie replied almost instantly. "I couldn't do it." She whispered, looking down at her hand and letting the ring drop into the sand. "I love you." She added before taking a hesitant step closer to a startled Shane.
Shane quickly snapped into action, taking a few slow steps forward until he was directly in front of the tear soaked Mitchie. "I love you too." He whispered, lifting one hand and letting two fingers graze over her cheek. Mitchie closed her eyes at the impact, leaning into his touch.
"I don't want to mess this up again." She whispered through her tears, looking up at Shane with deep sincerity in her eyes.
"Me either." Shane agreed, placing his free hand on her other cheek and pulling her closer, before finally their lips met. Shane felt his stomach erupt with pleasure at the familiarity of her lips, his body exploding with the delight at the feeling of their lips together, a feeling he thought he would never experience again.
"I promise you…" Shane started as the pair parted, his hands linked around Mitchie's neck, keeping her close, as the wind battled against the entwined bodies. "…I will not be so stupid again, I love you, and this is where I want to be....with you....forever."
"Good." Mitchie replied abruptly. "Because that's exactly what I want." She added, pressing her lips against his once more, tangling her hands within his hair. Shane let out a small moan of pleasure as their lips worked in synchronisation, his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her against him.
Shane mentally thanked the heavens above as he reacquainted himself with every curve of Mitchie's body. He had been given a second chance, and he could never be more thankful for that. He knew he wouldn't be as stupid this time, he wouldn't let himself, he had exactly what he wanted and he would never let her go.
Mitchie Torres was once again in his arms, where she belonged. She was his heart and his soul and he couldn't bare to see her leave again, he couldn't bare to lose her.
A/n: Ok, so is everybody filled up on cheese? Good. Ok so it's my birthday on Sunday so if you want to give me the best birthday present ever just press that little button and let me know what you thought, it really would mean the world to me!
Oh a couple more things.
1) How awesome is Lines, Vines and Trying Times?!?!
2) I heard about Michael Jackson this morning, I was so stunned. RIP to a true legend.
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. :D Emma. x