Written for seblaine week on tumblr.
Blaine takes a gulp of his Mai Tai, staring out at the breaking waves. His toes are dug deep in the warm sand and his beach chair is in a comfortably reclined position. The adult section of the beach has no children near it, just a bar a few steps away. He's not carrying his cell phone. No laptop. No tablet. He'd taken two weeks off of work for his honeymoon.
Then Kurt had left him at the altar. The thought still makes him scoff, downing the rest of his Mai Tai and considering how many more that his wallet can handle. It's only been two days since the unfortunate wedding that never was and he's already drank more Mai Tais than he ever has in his life.
With this drink empty, he sighs, knowing that he should at least wait until later to get drunk, digging his toes further into the sand and trying not to pout. Kurt had wanted to take the vacation to Hawaii, had ranted and then yelled because he'd decided their whole itinerary. Blaine had stood his ground. The one who was prepared to wed got the honeymoon and his parents had paid the most for everything. Those two points had won him the argument and he was glad. Blaine had wanted to get married in Hawaii but had been overruled so he figured he deserves it.
Now, Blaine wonders if maybe he'd made the wrong choice. He looks around the beach, seeing only a handful of people alone but none of them look as melancholy as him. It's mostly couples or groups of friends. Blaine closes his eyes, resting his head against the back of the chair. He should've brought somebody with him but he'd thought that two weeks of being alone on a beach was just what he needed. He'd been-
"Blaine?"
Blaine jerks forward, his eyes opening wide, turning so fast that his neck aches in protest. "Sebastian?" he asks, sure now that the world is playing a very cruel joke on him, especially when he sees the other man. It's been years since they've been in contact. It had been another argument, another manipulation Blaine recognizes now, from Kurt and he'd ended up blocking Sebastian without even a goodbye.
"What're you doing in Hawaii?" Sebastian asks and he steps forward, tilting his head to the side, his eyes narrowing a bit. He looks good but out of place, wearing a crisp white button-up shirt, the first few buttons undone. Grey slacks are rolled up, exposing clean black dress shoes. Blaine had let himself forget just how handsome that Sebastian was, especially now that he grew up and filled out.
Realizing that, as he was looking Sebastian up and down, the other man was waiting for an answer, Blaine clears his throat. "What are you doing here?" he asks, the words coming out ruder than he'd actually intended.
Sebastian doesn't take offense, though. It seems as if he's in just as much shock. "Business," he says simply and Blaine watches as Sebastian eyes him, similar to how Blaine is trying to stop. He wonders if he looks different than when they last saw each other. His hair is curlier than it had been before. Nowadays he uses less gel in general especially on vacation. "Now your turn."
The words are prompted as if Blaine is a child and Blaine feels his stomach clench. Kurt would be devastated if he knew that Sebastian and Blaine were in Hawaii at the same time. Then Blaine remembers that Kurt probably would be mad but not upset. Kurt doesn't love him anymore. Blaine thinks that should hurt worse than it does.
"On my honeymoon," Blaine finally murmurs, picking up his drink glass before remembering that it's empty and setting it down again. He wants something to do with his hands, unable to look Sebastian directly in the eyes.
Even though Blaine won't look up, he can feel Sebastian's gaze on him, feel the judgement in his eyes. He knows Sebastian better than he knows almost anybody. Better, he believes, than he must have known Kurt. "Where's your husband?"
Blaine has to laugh at the tightly controlled words. Sebastian seems so much older now and Blaine tilts his head to the side. They are older, though. They're both nearing 30 and Blaine wonders where his life has gone. He'd finished college and started a business with Kurt.
That's a bust, though. He'll have to quit. Besides, he'd never been interested in what they'd been doing but Kurt had been alone and Blaine had quit his job-searching to help him. Blaine had always dreamed of helping people or making music, whichever came first. But Kurt had been desperate when he'd started getting too many orders for his jewelry with no help and so Blaine had helped him. That had been what he'd wanted to do after all, right?
"Calling vendors to cancel since he decided he didn't want to marry me," Blaine says and no matter how hard he tries he can't keep the bitterness out of his voice. He picks up the Mai Tai glass again, running his finger along the pattern on the glass.
Sebastian sits down heavily in the chair next to him and Blaine finally meets Sebastian's eyes. He doesn't want to hear Sebastian say that he told Blaine so or any criticisms. There's no look of triumph in Sebastian's eyes that Blaine can see. In fact, he thinks it might be sympathy. "It was Kurt, right?"
Blaine nods, putting the cup back down again. He can't help but fidget right now, wanting something to think about that's not his ex-fiancé. Kurt had ended their engagement three times before they'd finally set a date. Blaine wonders why he'd been such a fool to think that Kurt might actually go through with a wedding this time.
"I'm sorry," Sebastian says and Blaine tries to read him, wondering whether he really is sorry. It hadn't been what he'd expected Sebastian to say but then, the last time he'd talked to Sebastian had been years and years ago. They'd been so much younger then. Perhaps Sebastian has matured enough- "Although, really, Blaine, this is probably for the best. You can do much bet-"
"Here we go," Blaine snaps, wondering what he'd been thinking. Sebastian could get older but he'll still be the same person. "I don't want to hear it."
Sebastian's lips twitch. "Blaine, you're sitting alone on the beach drinking piña coladas by yourself and-"
"Mai tais," Blaine corrects and Sebastian can't help but smile this time.
"You're missing out then. The bartender here makes the best piña coladas I've ever had. Blaine, you wouldn't listen to me then so listen to me now because I have to get back for another meeting. You're in one of the most beautiful places in the world, and I've been all around it, and you're moping." Blaine opens his mouth but Sebastian puts up a hand, stalling him. "Don't. I know when you're moping. But you just got rid of somebody who would leave you. He didn't care about you enough. Now enjoy your vacation."
Blaine's eyes narrow at Sebastian as he stands up, brushing off the back of his pants and re-buttoning the top of his shirt. "What kind of business are you here for?"
"Not important," Sebastian says, waving his hand dismissively. "Are you staying at this resort?"
"Let me guess. So are you," Blaine says flatly, wondering if this is what the rest of his week is going to consist of. Twelve more days of moping and running into Sebastian who seems to have his life together so much more than Blaine does.
Sebastian nods. "Then I'll see you around… In fact, have dinner with me tonight. I'll be done around 7. I have a reservation for two at 7:30 at the restaurant by the pool. It's fancy dress. I'll meet you there," Sebastian says. He glances at his watch and then turns and nearly jogs away, not even giving Blaine a chance to respond.
Blaine takes a deep breath and gets up. He needs another drink. This time, although he wouldn't admit it to Sebastian, he orders a piña colada and the other man was right. He had been missing out. Blaine has simply always ordered mai tais, never thinking about getting something else.
For a while, he sips the drink by the ocean, considering whether it's the best choice to go out to dinner with the other man. It feels dangerous. It also feels forbidden since he knows that Kurt would disapprove. Maybe that's why he decides to go. Maybe it's the fact that he's missed Sebastian more than he cares to admit. He decides to choose the first excuse.
Blaine's feeling good that night when he reaches the restaurant that Sebastian had told him. Kurt had gotten them reservations for the place last night, what was supposed to be their first night on the island, but Blaine had cancelled them, not wanting to eat there by himself. In fact, he'd done little but sit by the beach and drink. Today he'd forced himself out of his chair to take a walk along the beach and then take a nap. Both had been fun but he couldn't help but feel lonely.
"You're early," Sebastian says, coming up behind him and Blaine pulls out his phone to glance at the time.
"So are you," Blaine points out, putting his phone away when he sees that they are both 15 minutes early for the reservation. When he looks at him, Blaine has to swallow hard, forcing himself not to let his jaw drop over Sebastian. The man is still tall and skinny but his suit fits him perfectly. And he looks much less stressed than he had earlier, bright eyes sparkling as if he was a child.
"You remember your manners, I'm sure. Your parents were just as proper as mine when you were a kid."
Sometimes Blaine forgets how much he and Sebastian shared when they were teenagers. Kurt had been Blaine's boyfriend but Sebastian had become Blaine's best friend. It wasn't Kurt who understood Blaine but Sebastian. Kurt had tried, at least during the year they spent at McKinley together but they'd been too different. It wasn't until Blaine let go of part of himself that they finally found common ground. Even then Kurt had still ended things multiple times.
"I know you're thinking of him and you've got to stop," Sebastian says, his voice surprisingly gentle as he interrupts Blaine's thoughts. "He doesn't deserve your thoughts right now. You're on a beach, about to eat some of the best food that you've ever tasted in your life."
Blaine nods after a moment. After all, Sebastian is right. He doesn't want to waste this vacation on Kurt. Kurt doesn't deserve it. The two walk into the restaurant together and are led down a staircase into the main dining room. Blaine expects a table in there but they're led further across the room, against a row of windows that lets Blaine easily see the beach just feet from them.
"So who were you originally going out to dinner with?" Blaine asks once they've ordered drinks and starters. Sebastian had been evasive about his business during their first conversation but Blaine isn't willing to give up hearing about it. He's curious what Sebastian had decided to do. When they were teenagers, Sebastian had talked about how his father would only pay for college if Sebastian went for one of his father's choices.
Sebastian glances up from his menu. "Nobody important. We're here on a company retreat is all. It's supposed to help bring the company together so that we can work together easier. Exchange company secrets. You know. I told her that I had somebody else that I wanted to go with and she was fine with it."
Blaine's saved from trying to think of a response by the waiter arriving to get their food orders and then they sit in silence. Blaine wants to try to make conversation but he's having a hard time coming up with anything. With Kurt it was easy. He knew just what the other man liked and didn't and was able to tailor their lives around that. He doesn't know Sebastian that way, at least he forgets that he does.
"So what do you do?" Sebastian finally asks, sounding unsure himself about the conversation and Blaine feels better that he's not the only one uncomfortable.
That's another sour subject, though, and Blaine sighs, taking a drink of his wine. "I… work with Kurt. Or I did. Obviously I'll be quitting as soon as I'm back in New York. I was job-searching and he had casually started a jewelry business. But he was getting too many orders and needed help so I helped him. That just kind of became my life."
Sebastian stares at him incredulously before shaking himself. "Right. A jewelry business. That sounds very you."
"Please, Sebastian. Don't," Blaine says tiredly.
"Okay. Sorry. So you're still in New York, though?" Sebastian asks.
Blaine can hear the honest conversation starter and he lets himself get swept away in it. He forgets the way that he normally talks to Kurt and just lets the conversation flow. Sebastian doesn't look annoyed when Blaine goes off on a tangent. In fact, Sebastian looks at least semi-interested in everything that Blaine talks about. It's something new to him and it keeps them talking even after their dinner and dessert.
It inspires Blaine to recklessly ask Sebastian to take a walk with him afterwards and the conversation continues as they hit the beach, rolling up their pants and taking off their shoes and socks. They talk about the fact that they're both living in New York, they talk about their parents and steer clear of conversations that involve either Kurt or Sebastian's work. Blaine doesn't know why Sebastian doesn't want to tell him but he doesn't press.
By the time they're done talking, they've settled onto two chairs, tilted towards each other. They've had two more drinks while walking and they're both pleasantly tipsy. It's why Blaine doesn't immediately tense up when Sebastian brings up Kurt.
"You know, I never saw you as happy with him as you were with me," Sebastian says, leaning back and eyeing Blaine.
Blaine shrugs, looking up at the night sky and starting to count the stars. He doesn't immediately change the subject but he also isn't sure exactly what to say. "I… never really was back then." It's the alcohol too that lets him say what he has to with such honesty. "It wasn't until I realized what he wanted and could become it that we were happy together."
"Do you realize how that sounds?" Sebastian asks and he sounds disgusted. Blaine isn't offended. He feels rather disgusted at it himself. "You changed yourself for them and then you became happy? You didn't have to do that with me."
"That's why I was happier with you," Blaine responds, looking at him, giving a little shrug and a smile. He tells himself it's the alcohol that feels like butterflies.
Sebastian looks back at him before nodding. "Okay, I have to go to bed. I have to get up early for a meeting. Meet me for lunch? The restaurant by the pool is where I normally go. I'll be there about 1:10."
It takes a moment for Blaine to nod and he's surprised by it. But he'd enjoyed his time with Sebastian and he wants to talk to him more. He feels comfortable with him and he wants to feel that way again tomorrow. Sebastian waves at him as he walks away and Blaine sits for a while thinking before finally going to bed himself.
The next day, Blaine meets Sebastian for lunch. And then dinner. And the same thing the next day. It's hard not to feel guilty over the time that Blaine's spending with Sebastian mostly because he's enjoying it so much. It seems that they never get tired of talking to each other and even when they do neither of them mind just sitting in silence.
The next day, Blaine's surprised when Sebastian doesn't immediately leave to go back to his meetings when lunch is over.
"We have the day free today. But I have some plans. Unless you wanted to just go back to the beach to drink and mope," Sebastian says innocently. Blaine can't even be offended since it's true and so he smiles, giving in graciously. "Go get your swimsuit on. Today is snorkeling because I've been dying to and haven't had a chance yet this trip."
Blaine can't help but be intrigued by the idea when he meets Sebastian back where the resort has their own area for it. He's never snorkeled before, although he and Kurt had talked about it at length. Kurt hadn't been incredibly interested but Kurt wasn't interested in water to begin with. He didn't like the beach, didn't like the sun that was too hot or the sand that got everywhere or the water that always ruined his hair.
It reminds him how different that Sebastian is. The other man loved a good hairstyle but it didn't define him. What was more important was having fun and Blaine has loads of it scuba diving.
The two can't talk underwater but Sebastian stays close to his side, pointing out interesting things. Blaine can't help but feel grateful that Sebastian's there since the other man knows what he's doing. Although he hadn't planned on it, Blaine can't imagine having missed experiencing this. The two stay under as long as they can, swimming around and then splashing each other playfully when they come back up.
"That was a lot of fun, Sebastian. Thank you," Blaine says as they head towards one of the more casual restaurants, that'll accept them even though their hair is still wet. The two are walking close together, the back of their hands brushing and Blaine can't bring himself to pull away.
Sebastian looks over at him with a smile. "Of course. Thanks for going with me. I could ask some of my co-workers but honestly, we're spending so much time together when we have to that on our free days we try to spend the time apart."
"You never told me what you do," Blaine reminds him, glancing over at him as Sebastian seems to speed up.
The other man has promised that he's not doing anything bad after Blaine had questioned him. It just wasn't something that he wanted to talk about. Although Sebastian hadn't specified, for some reason Blaine thought that he was embarrassed by it. It makes Blaine even more curious and he so badly wants to press.
"I went to school for law," Sebastian says simply, near jogging to get to the restaurant and opening the door for Blaine.
Blaine frowns but then he decides that he really won't press. He knew that law was one of the only careers that Sebastian's father would pay for and maybe that's why he doesn't want to talk about it. Maybe Sebastian had done just what his father wanted and he hated it. The thought makes him sad for Sebastian but he doesn't judge him. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.
The days seem to fly by as Blaine and Sebastian spend each of them together. Sebastian takes Blaine to all of the places that Blaine enjoys and Kurt probably wouldn't have even thought of. Kurt doesn't like hikes, not interested in the sweating and all of the trees. He's not interested in going out on the water since he gets seasick or the local celebrations. Hawaii just wasn't the type of environment that somebody who loved New York City like Kurt did would like.
But Blaine loves it. Sebastian takes him to see the best views, taking pictures with him, of him and for him. They go to a luau and eat at the best local restaurants. Blaine knows that this is everything that he had dreamed of a honeymoon but nothing that he would've gotten from Kurt.
It's nearing the end of his vacation when they finally get the chance to go on a sunset cruise. A great dinner and open bar had been highlights and after so many people had assumed, they'd stopped correcting people thinking they were a couple.
They're both tipsy as they step off the boat, Blaine looking up at Sebastian with the realization that he really is going home in the next few days and he has no idea what's going to happen. Sebastian grins, gripping Blaine's arms gently to keep him steady. "Maybe you shouldn't have had that much to drink."
"I didn't. I'm not," Blaine says and he's not. He's pleasantly buzzed but in no way drunk. He has perfect judgement and his eyes keep flickering to Sebastian's lips.
It's blatant and there's no way that Sebastian could avoid noticing. But the other man clears his throat. "Blaine-"
"This has been so much fun," Blaine whispers, his hands coming up to Sebastian's chest, fingers playing with the top button. He doesn't care if they're on the beach. He's on his honeymoon, even if it wasn't the person that he was expecting. Even if it's not technically a honeymoon. "I forgot what it's like to have fun. But everything we've done has been perfect."
Sebastian's breathing is coming unevenly now but he smiles anyway. "I've had fun too, Blaine. I have a lot of fun with you. But Blaine, I can't- If you regret this-"
"I won't. I've never regretted anything with you. Ever."
Sebastian stares at him and Blaine knows that Sebastian gets it. Every moment that they were together before they broke contact was too far. The texts that they sent each other, the holding each other while watching movies, the holding hands while they went out to dinner. They may never have done anything sexual but Blaine had been cheating on Kurt with every look. And Blaine can't help but feel a longing for what used to be.
"Blaine…"
"I've regretted breaking contact with you more than I can even put into words. I thought of you all the time and hated that I had to stop talking to you to make Kurt happy. I missed you as if a part of me was taken away. But then, when Kurt and I were apart, I never felt that way." Now that it's coming, Blaine can't seem to stop it. "If I had never met Kurt… we would've been together a long time ago."
Then Sebastian leans in to kiss him. Blaine meets him halfway, his fingers fisting in Sebastian's shirt. This is what he's wanted. Since yesterday, no since last week, or maybe since they met.
"We have to- my room is closest," Sebastian mumbles against his lips.
It doesn't bother either of them that they can't stop kissing as they head inside. Nobody even seems surprised, although a few people clear their throats delicately as they pass. Blaine and Sebastian don't give them any attention, all of their focus on each other. As soon as Sebastian gets them into his room, their kissing becomes desperate and Blaine knows that he wants this with Sebastian.
He'd been so caught up in enjoying that he hasn't even realized that he's spent nearly two of the best weeks of his life with Sebastian. The itinerary that Kurt had planned had sounded fun but what he's done with Sebastian is better. It's more of a relationship that Blaine's ever had with Kurt. That makes Blaine pull back, staring at Sebastian with new eyes.
"You want to stop?" Sebastian asks through kiss-swollen lips, looking disappointed.
Blaine laughs, so happy that he thinks he might burst with it. When he was a teenager, he'd cared about Sebastian more than nearly anybody. He'd enjoyed himself with Sebastian, had wanted to spend time with Sebastian. But Kurt had put a stop to everything and Sebastian's rock-salt slushie hadn't helped matters. But now he's free to do what he wants and what he wants is to spend time with Sebastian. All of his time with Sebastian. He's free. Those words keep resonating in his mind.
"Just the opposite," Blaine whispers meaningfully before pulling Sebastian in for another kiss. Blaine doesn't recall ever smiling, laughing, moaning and loving as much making love in his life before. When he'd been a child, he'd taken to heart that virginity was special and you should try to save it for somebody special. Now he acknowledges that it's not virginity that's special. It's the person that you share yourself with.
Sebastian is so special and their bodies seem to fit like puzzle pieces. They're both experienced and they use it to their advantages. They seem to know just how to touch each other, hands roaming and kisses feeling sweeter and sweeter as the night goes on. Sebastian teases him, with his words, his mouth, his hands, and Blaine teases right back, loving the moments between them.
After they calmed down, both of them still breathing hard, Sebastian pulls him close, stroking his hair. Blaine holds onto him, content just to be as close as Sebastian wants him to be. They're both quiet, both of them seeming to absorb the weight of what they'd just done. Blaine doesn't even come close to regretting it though.
"I've dreamed of that since we were teenagers," Sebastian admits so quietly that Blaine wonders if Sebastian had thought he was asleep.
He kisses Sebastian's shoulder. "I tried not to," he says with a laugh and Sebastian tightens his hold on him. Blaine soothes his hand down Sebastian's arm, tangling their fingers together. It feels so right, as if his body has been waiting for this his whole life. "I'm glad we're here now. I'm glad you're here."
"You would've spent your whole two-week vacation moping if I wasn't here, I'm sure." Sebastian says then stiffens slightly, as if he's worried about having brought up Kurt.
But Blaine doesn't feel but a twinge of regret over how many years he'd wasted. He looks up at Sebastian, meeting the other's eyes and seeing the vulnerability reflected back at him. Immediately, he can see that Sebastian is hoping that Blaine won't regret it, that he won't pull away. Blaine doesn't even think about it.
"I would have. Not realizing that Kurt and I have been a disaster for years," Blaine whispers. It hurts to admit that but not because of the loss of Kurt. More the loss of what he could've had over the years. Maybe what he could have had with Sebastian. "You helped me see that somebody could care about me the way that I am. I changed myself so much for Kurt and I thought that's how I had to be. But these few days I've been myself and you… You care about me."
Sebastian brushes a curl off of Blaine's face and Blaine turns to kiss the palm of his hand. There's a faint flush on the other man's cheek, surprising Blaine but he understands on his next words. "I love you. I've loved you since we were teenagers and that love grew as we got to know each other in our twenties. Then Kurt forbade you from talking to me and I thought that love went away but… seeing you here on the beach it all came rushing back."
Blaine feels tears fill his eyes, shock filling him but it shouldn't be that surprising. He'd known that Sebastian wanted him, knew that Sebastian would've dropped everything for him if Blaine had only told him to. But hearing those words from Sebastian, from the boy who'd been such a jerk when they were younger was enough to make butterflies flutter in Blaine's stomach.
There's no rush from Sebastian to respond. In fact, if Blaine didn't say anything then he knows Sebastian won't say anything. It's not a confession that requires an answer from him but one that Sebastian seems as if he's wanted to get out for years. Blaine's mind feels jumbled and he leans in to kiss Sebastian softly. The other man responds immediately, although a little more subdued since Blaine didn't respond.
"My head's a mess right now," Blaine says quietly when they pull away. Sebastian's eyes dim but there's no other indication that he's disappointed. His hold on Blaine doesn't loosen. "But I want to keep seeing you."
"Let's get some sleep," Sebastian murmurs, pulling Blaine down with him. Blaine nods, resting close to him as he closes his eyes. It's quite a while before he can fall asleep, though, his mind and heart racing.
Blaine expects to wake up surprised to find himself in bed with Sebastian but it's the opposite. When he wakes up, pressing himself closer to Sebastian's warmth, it feels like the most natural thing in the world. With Sebastian's arm loose around him the entire night, Blaine had slept better than he had in weeks. He can still hear Sebastian's even breathing indicating that the other man is still sleeping so Blaine lifts up his head, wanting to just observe him for a while.
He reaches out, his fingers gentle as he traces the curves of Sebastian's face, his lips that Blaine had kissed so passionately the night before, the freckles that make him look younger than he is. Blaine leans forward, ghosting his lips across Sebastian's before lying down with his head on Sebastian's chest. Even in his sleep, the other man tightens his hold on Blaine, making him feel secure enough to go back to sleep.
The next time he wakes up it's to Sebastian's alarm, and a groan from the other man. Blaine rolls away from him, sleepily rubbing his eyes as Sebastian reaches out, turning off the alarm and then grinning at him. There's no indication that he's hurt by Blaine's lack of an answer last night and Blaine's relieved. "Good morning."
"Good morning," Blaine responds. There's no shyness in him, no concern over whether they were going to fight or Sebastian had regretted it. He knows that they'd both enjoyed it, that this had been something special between them. "I'm sorry I kept you up so late last night."
Sebastian shakes his head immediately, swooping forward to cup Blaine's cheek and kiss him. His kiss makes Blaine feel weak, his arms looping around Sebastian's neck, trying to coax the other man on top of him but Sebastian pulls back with a quiet laugh. "I'm sorry. I want to stay here all day but I do have to work. It would be hell if I didn't come to the meetings."
Blaine frowns, playing with the hair on the base of Sebastian's neck but he knows that he has to let go. He wants to explore these feelings, wants to see if him and Sebastian could have what Blaine's been searching for forever.
"Don't frown," Sebastian teases, kissing him lightly again before extricating himself from Blaine's hold. Blaine unabashedly watches him, admiring his toned body, thinking about whether they could share the night together again. "I'll meet you for lunch?"
There's something that nags Blaine about the fact that this vacation had been originally planned for something else but he pushes it away. There's no room for Kurt in his mind right now. Instead, he nods his agreement and stands up reluctantly to get himself dressed. Even if he goes back to sleep, which is a possibility considering how early that it is, he should go to his own room.
The two share a kiss, or three, before they part at the elevators and Blaine heads for his own room. He's not quiet going into it, not expecting the sleeping man in the bed and at first he freezes, thinking he'd unlocked the wrong room before he recognizes the tousled hair and Kurt sits up in the bed.
"Where were you?" Kurt asks immediately, rubbing underneath his eyes. He looks as if he hasn't slept in days, his hair wild not just from sleeping. Blaine's lived with him on and off for years and he doesn't think he's ever seen the man so disheveled.
"I- I don't understand. What are you doing here?" Blaine asks, crossing his arms defensively over his chest. The bubble of happiness that had been enveloping him since sleeping with Sebastian was quickly dissipating, a sick feeling taking over.
Kurt swallows, getting out of the bed and Blaine can see that he's still dressed in clothes that he normally wears to travel. It draws Blaine's attention to the fact that Blaine had slipped on the same clothes that he'd worn before and no doubt looks as if he'd slept someplace else.
"I made a mistake," Kurt says, wringing his hands in front of him as he looks at Blaine. Blaine leans back against the door, immediately wanting to stop Kurt but he can't even open his mouth to speak. "Blaine, I'm so sorry. I know that we've had so many problems but I was calling the vendors and I went home and thought about packing your stuff and I just... Blaine, I… don't know what to do without you."
"Kurt-" Blaine finally manages to croak out.
Kurt shakes his head. "Please, Blaine. I feel like maybe our problem has always been that every time we break up we just jump right back into things. We sleep together while we're broken up, at Will and Emma's wedding and then Santana and Brittany's. We put our rings back on. But Blaine maybe we just need to take some time. I know that I don't want to lose you. I love you. You're the love of my life and I… I want to be with you, I'm just scared."
That strikes Blaine speechless, his entire body stiff as he realizes that Kurt had come to try to win him back. Kurt had come when their honeymoon was nearly over to try to take him back after he'd broken up with Blaine the morning of their wedding. Anger and sadness boils together in Blaine's body as he stares at the other man.
"Blaine, say something. I know you have every right to be upset-"
"Every right to be upset?" Blaine bites out, stepping away from the door and Kurt looks surprised by Blaine's burning tone. "I'm more than upset, Kurt. This is more than just ending our engagement. All of our friends and family were in New York. We were getting married in six hours when you told me that you couldn't marry me. Then you yelled at me when I told you I was taking the honeymoon anyway."
Kurt frowns. "Blaine, please, let me-"
"You've explained already! You're scared. You think I'm not scared? You think that everything's about you, don't you, Kurt? You think that you can just come to Hawaii and I'll fall right back into your arms? After everything? Kurt, I'm worth more than that." Blaine asks and he reaches up, wiping at his tear-filled eyes. He doesn't want to cry over Kurt anymore. It's even worse to realize that last night he'd been crying over Sebastian telling him that he loved him. "Sebastian helped me see that."
Although Kurt had been stepping forward, he freezes at those words, his frown deepening. "What?"
Blaine shakes his head, deflating and feeling defeated, even as Kurt's anger rises. "You heard me, Kurt. Sebastian's here on business and I saw him the day after I flew here. We've been spending every minute he's not working together and he's- he cares about me the way that I am. I don't need to change to be with him, not like I had to with you. Kurt, I love you but I can't-"
"You're trying to tell me that you've been spending our honeymoon with Sebastian?"
"No, Kurt! You gave up our honeymoon! You told me that you couldn't marry me because you weren't even sure that you loved me that much! But you know what? I don't care," Blaine says, tears flowing freely now but he has to get this out. It's been scary for him to see how long he's wasted hoping that Kurt will compromise and change too but he realizes that he doesn't have to. Sebastian doesn't want him to change at all and he doesn't want Sebastian to change. That's how love's supposed to be, isn't it?
"I don't care if you don't love me because Sebastian does." There's more anger on Kurt's face than anything and Blaine can see that this is over. Kurt's not upset, not the way he would be if he really loved Blaine. "And you know what, Kurt? I love me! I forgot just how much fun that I could have when I was just being me. When I didn't have to watch every move and word to make sure that it was something you'd approve of. I don't need you to love me, Kurt. And I wish I'd known that years ago."
Kurt opens and then closes his mouth, running his fingers through his hair. Blaine waits, knowing that he's dropped a bombshell on Kurt but he feels lighter than he has in years. Most of all, he wants to talk to Sebastian. He needs to see him, to tell him everything he's realized. "I didn't want you to change," Kurt finally says softly.
"Maybe you didn't want me to but you made me feel like I had to. It's okay, Kurt. We were kids. We made mistakes, both of us. But I can't keep going on like this. We'll always be special to each other," Blaine responds and he knows that it's the truth. Kurt was his first love and that won't ever change even if his feelings did. But he wants something that's good for him. Kurt never was.
Across from him, Kurt shakes his head and Blaine starts seeing the sadness on his face. It should make Blaine feel bad but he can't help the lightness that he feels in him. A weight has been lifted off his shoulders and he feels like he could fly.
"I'm sorry. But Sebastian, Blaine? Really?"
"He says the same thing about you," Blaine says, stepping forward and pushing his curls off his face. Kurt stands still as Blaine presses a kiss to Kurt's cheek and then reaches into the bedside table drawer. He'd unpacked when he'd gotten here and he pulls out a ring that Kurt had given him years ago one of the times that their engagement had been on.
Blaine gives the ring to Kurt, watching as the other man takes it reluctantly. He'd looked at the ring the first night but none of the nights since. His thoughts had been Sebastian ever since he saw him on the beach nearly two weeks ago. "I love him. I think I have since I was a teenager. But I thought that I needed to give us a chance. And I did but it wasn't enough."
Kurt stares at the ring before shaking himself and standing up straight. Blaine can see the tension in his body, the set of his jaw and Kurt nods. "Well…I'll start packing your things then. You can pick them up when you get back to New York."
As Kurt grabs the things and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him, Blaine thinks that some things never change. Then he thinks that some things do and he grabs clothes to get in the shower. He has to find Sebastian.
Obviously Sebastian isn't back at his room yet so Blaine sets off in search of him. He wishes that he'd thought to check Sebastian's room before he'd left but he can't get in now. Instead, he heads towards the front desk and grabs a map of the resort. The meeting rooms are listed on there and he goes in that direction. Blaine has no intention of interrupting a meeting but he wants to intercept Sebastian as soon as he leaves the room. He can't even wait to eat lunch with him.
Blaine enters the meeting hall and looks around. It's fancy as he'd expect and he glances ahead, seeing a large crowd of people. They look as if they're all on a break, most of them as dressed up as Sebastian had been.
Sebastian sees Blaine first but as soon as their eyes meet, Blaine beams. The other man looks nervous as he excuses himself from his conversation and approaches, straightening his tie. "What's going on?"
"Kurt came," Blaine says, seeing the way that Sebastian seems to deflate, his smile disappearing. Sebastian nods, his arms crossing defensively over his chest. "He wanted me back. He told me that he made a mistake and that he loves me."
"Let me guess. You fell for it and you're going home with him and you're leaving and-"
"I love you," Blaine interrupts, watching the myriad of emotions on Sebastian's face. From sadness and anger to disbelief and confusion and then to hesitant happiness which makes Blaine's grin glow even brighter. "I'm sorry I didn't realize it before, years ago maybe. But these past few days have been the best of my life. I never knew somebody could enjoy being with me, just the way I am, so much. And I enjoy being with you. I told Kurt that."
There's a beat where Blaine isn't sure of Sebastian's reaction and then the other man is pulling him closer, his lips pressed desperately to Blaine's. Blaine tries to soothe him, kissing back with as much love as he feels in his heart. This is right. He knows it is. There's cheering from behind them and Sebastian laughs as he pulls away, glancing back at the crowd of people now staring at them. Blaine blushes.
"I guess you should meet my employees," Sebastian murmurs, keeping an arm around Blaine's waist as they walk over to the crowd, Blaine with some reluctance. This had been why he hadn't wanted to interrupt a meeting.
"You must be the infamous Blaine Anderson. Smythe hasn't stopped talking about you since you ran into each other," one of the women closest to them says.
Another man laughs. "You'd think that you were the case we were working on with how much he talked about you. There might've been a powerpoint presentation."
"He's exaggerating," Sebastian says immediately, grinning.
"What kind of case?" Blaine asks at the same time, glancing between Sebastian and his coworkers.
Sebastian flushes as the woman looks between them. "He hasn't told you what he does?" she asks as Sebastian shakes his head slightly at Blaine's side. Blaine frowns, wondering what he's missing. "You haven't told him about us, Sebastian? We're offended. I'm Michelle Lyons. I co-own the charity that Sebastian runs. We met in law school and Sebastian told me that he wanted to start a foundation to help children in need. We've been running it together ever since as a non-profit charity."
Blaine looks over at Sebastian, surprised to see the deep blush on Sebastian's face. "If I didn't love you before, I would now," he whispers.
"Shut up," Sebastian responds, but he kisses Blaine's cheek and starts introductions.
The next morning, Blaine wakes up early again, staring down at Sebastian. They'd talked for hours the night before about everything. This time they didn't shy away from talk of Sebastian's company and, while the man was obviously embarrassed, he told Blaine all about it.
It makes Blaine proud to think of Sebastian doing this with his law degree. Law had been the only way for his dad to pay for his college but now he was doing it his own way. Blaine thinks about the fact that he wants to do things his own way too and while it's somewhere deep in his mind, he wonders whether Sebastian can help him come up with some ways to help people. After all, Sebastian already is.
Blaine had told Sebastian about Kurt too. He'd told him about their multiple engagements and planned weddings. He told Sebastian more about how he'd molded himself into something that Kurt wanted and about how free he felt with Sebastian. He also told Sebastian about how he'd wanted to get married in Hawaii in the first place.
That was what brought it to mind. That's what has him alternately staring between the window and Sebastian. Two more days in Hawaii until Blaine's flight back and he feels reckless. At the same time, for the first time in probably his life, with Sebastian, he feels safe.
There'd always been fear in him about being with Kurt. Fear that he'd do the wrong thing or they'd fight or they weren't compatible. But being with Sebastian is different. Sure, it was a vacation and different but he knew even years ago that Sebastian made him happy.
Sebastian wakes up one of the times that Blaine's looking out the window and reaches up, caressing Blaine's cheek. "What a view," he teases, his voice rough from sleep.
"It is," Blaine teases back, looking at Sebastian meaningfully.
Even in those short words, Sebastian can obviously hear something in Blaine's tone and he frowns, sitting up to be level with him. "What is it? You don't regret-"
Blaine immediately shakes his head, not wanting Sebastian to think that he's doubting it for even a moment. "No. I've just been thinking."
"That'll give you wrinkles," Sebastian responds, yawning and stretching, although Blaine knows that he has his attention. A beat of silence before Sebastian looks at him again. "Nothing bad I hope?"
Blaine looks back at Sebastian and he thinks about his future. He's wasted so many years of his life on something that he didn't want because he was trying to hold onto something that was never good for him. He had changed for Kurt. But Sebastian didn't want him to change and Blaine doesn't think that he ever would change for anybody again. It's crazy. It's the absolute craziest thing that Blaine has ever considered but Kurt had never wanted to marry him.
When their wedding came up, even on the day of, Kurt always had excuses. There was always something wrong. Blaine takes a deep breath. "You love me without me changing, right?"
Sebastian frowns thoughtfully but he nods immediately. "I do. And you love me?"
"Yes…" Blaine takes another deep breath then one more. Sebastian's starting to look worried and Blaine decides he has to spit it out. The worst that could happen is that Sebastian says no. And after so many times hearing the word no, Blaine knows that he could handle it. "We should get married."
Sebastian's eyes go wide but Blaine doesn't take it back. He's tired of not saying what he thinks and feels. There's a long few moments of silence before Sebastian clears his throat. "Right now?"
"Well, we have to get a marriage license and everything. It's not that simple. But… tomorrow?" Blaine asks. Sebastian hasn't said no and he's wondering whether this was such a bad idea.
Then Sebastian laughs, half tackling him, pinning him underneath him as they kiss. Blaine can hardly kiss back, his smile so wide and Sebastian pulls back, looking at Blaine with such adoration in his eyes that it takes Blaine's breath away. "Tomorrow. I'll call Michelle and tell her that everything will have to wait. We have everything basically finished up anyway. We have to get rings."
Blaine can't believe that this is really going to happen but for the first time, he feels like this marriage is going to work out.
The ceremony is simple. They exchange leis as custom, they say their vows, they kiss. It had been relatively easy to find everything needed for a wedding the day before. After all, Hawaii was a common spot for weddings, even last minute ones. It was just them, the officiant and a photographer.
Kurt and Blaine had invited over 200 people for their wedding but Blaine wouldn't change his wedding with Sebastian for anything. They'd already agreed to have a nice reception with family and friends when they got back but this? This will always be just for them.
Afterwards, they dance next to the ocean, not caring that there's no music and nobody around. Even their photographer had left, after taking more than enough pictures for an album. Blaine rests his head on Sebastian's shoulder, looking out at the wide expanse of ocean.
"I've been engaged for years on and off but I always inwardly dreaded everything that might come of getting married," Blaine says softly, swaying with Sebastian in the twilight and soft breezes. "I always thought that life was just something that had to be endured. It seems like that's something that I've dealt with always. But, for the first time, I feel like life can actually be enjoyed."
There's no way they could get any closer but Sebastian tries and Blaine is eager for it, lifting up his head to kiss him. "I love you," Sebastian says. It's not really much of a response but at the same time, it's the only response there is.
Blaine smiles. "I love you too," he whispers.
The two dance together, sometimes talking, sometimes not. Blaine can't imagine what people are going to say once they get back to New York but he doesn't care. For the first time in a long time, he's doing something for him. Sebastian is the best thing that's ever happened to him. And them dancing like this? This is right. This is perfect.