Friends of James Bond: Q has a Wristwatch Dilemma
by SeaUrchin82
1.
Q was wide awake one night after coming back from his long shift at the research laboratory. It was one of those long dirge-like days.
He admired the legendary work ethic of Thomas Edison, the great inventor. In his heyday, Edison would spent 16 hours or more at his laboratory, doing all manner of experiments, and sometimes just thinking. Q was no spring chicken, yet he would regularly go to the research lab at 6am and leave no earlier then 10pm.
Q did not want to leave yet, knowing that bringing work home is bad for his sleep. But going home seemed the best solution to the problem he had. For this sort of problem, nothing short of lying in bed with the lights out was necessary.
Q was worried that the new Seiko dive watches that were issued to agents 005 and 009 were not cleared by headquarters. The new "divers" were an experiment of his, and in an unusual spate of rash decision-making, he had given the watches to the agents without going through the usual quality control. He wanted to know how the watches would fare in the field. The features he had included in them were so unusual that he could not wait to see them in action.
The first watch, issued to 005, featured a unidirectional bezel that doubled as a "volume muffler." Turning the bezel counterclockwise enabled the user to mute the surrounding environment: it produced a high frequency sound wave that serves as "white noise" that blocks all ambient sounds. The more you turn the bezel, the less sound can be heard.
The other watch, issued to 009, has the same bezel but the exact opposite function. It increases ambient sound by amplifying the sound signatures of the surrounding environment.
Q was in as bind, fretting about his inventions late at night, because of an update coming from M. There had been a slight change in the schedules of the agents.
Agents 005 and 009 had been assigned to the same mission as partners.
2.
"What do I do?" Q asked himself. "I did not know they would be in the same mission! If they use the features of their watches at the same time there will be a catastrophe!"
Q was well aware of the unusual polarities needed for both watches to work. What one watch does, essentially, is to cancel what the other does, but in reality it was not like that. The time signatures distorted by both watches were on opposite sides of the spectrum—if both are engaged in their most extreme levels then the resulting conflict will produce a sonic boom!
"Should I tell the agents?" Q talked to himself while stroking his thinning white hair. "If I do, I risk my reputation! I have never released a gadget without proper testing and quality control! But this was no ordinary case! I would perhaps have constructed the most powerful wristwatch features in the history of espionage!"
Q pondered whether he should call 007 for help. Bond, who was still in London, could still catch the two spies before they board their plane. Q dismissed the idea. He knew if he asked 007 this favor then he would be beholden to him, and who knows what sort of favor would be asked in return?
Q decided that he would take matters into his own hands. He took his "mac" jacket and grabbed from his equipment shelf the gadget needed for his personal mission: the third Seiko watch that he was experimenting on. It was the watch that could locate the two other watches and could nullify their features.
This third watch was not a diving watch. It was a chronograph. The push pumps on either side of the crown release a radio signal to the two other watches that prevent them from engaging their super features. However, this can only be done within a twenty-five meter radius—they had to be all in the same room.
Q checked if his wife had already fallen asleep. Having received a positive signal, he went out into the cool September midnight.
Q's watch gave out a light but detectable vibration after he set the date function to "Locate Watch." This meant, miraculously, that the two watches were actually nearby! The vibration would not occur if only one watch was close, so Q could not believe his luck!
As he moved around the perimeter of his London block the vibration got lighter. This meant he was moving further from the watches. Curiously, the signal got stronger the more that he got close to his house.
"The watches are here?!" Q said under his breath. "I'm saved!"
At that exact moment of joy Q was grabbed by a being hiding in the dark corner near his house. Before Q could shout, he saw who it was.
"009!"
"Q, about the watch—"
"Yes, do you have it?"
"Yes of course but—"
"Give it back to me, it has not been authorized!"
Agent 009 was surprised, but not being the nosy type he dutifully brought out the watch. Q checked it immediately. The bezel had not yet been turned, which meant the feature was unused.
"You need to know one thing 009," Q said. "This watch, when used together with the other which was issued to 005, can cause a maelstrom!"
"I also need to tell you something, Q." 009 took out a small box from his breast pocket. "The reason I am here is that there seems to be a problem with both watches. 005's watch went awry the moment he started using it. I have both watches with me."
009 opened the box and took out 005's watch. At first glance it seemed fine, but on closer inspection there was a problem with the bezel.
"This is supposed to turn only one way," Q said. "It looks like somehow the bezel can now be turned both clockwise and anti-clockwise. IT's a broken bezel if it were an ordinary watch, but in here what we have is a broken piece of expensive gadgetry from Her Majesty's Secret Service!"
True enough, at that point the watch was simply an ordinary watch. The feature could not be engaged due to the broken bezel.
"Wait a minute, you said both watches had problems," said Q. "What about yours?"
3.
A superficial examination of the watch showed nothing wrong. Upon closer scrutiny however it was revealed that the watch had been engaged, meaning the feature was used. This was discovered because the pointing tip of the bezel was at the first notch on the chapter ring. This means that the bezel had been turned one click short of a full revolution!
"Q, my watch does not work!" 009 asserted. "I turned it the whole way, testing the gadget first as I always do. It did not amplify the ambient sound!"
This worried Q. For a closer inspection of the watches, both men went into Q's basement laboratory in the house. He put both watches on the work table and examined what had gone wrong.
It turns out the watches had been neutralized by an electronic signal—the one emitted by the third watch. But how could this be? Q could not remember engaging the neutralizing feature on the chronograph, it was the first time he used it!
4.
A few days earlier.
"Miss Moneypenny, did our esteemed Major Boothroyd leave any tools for my upcoming mission?" Bond asked as he casually swung his hat onto the top of the coat-hanger. "I heard 005 and 009 will be getting theirs today, which is unfair, since their mission is much later than mine."
"I'm afraid you'll have to bring that up with him yourself James," said Moneypenny, nibbling at her ballpen while throwing an adoring look at 007. "He is in there at M's office."
Bond smiled and gently opened door of M's office.
"Ah 007, finally you are here," said M.
Bond barely nodded in acknowledgement. His attention was elsewhere. Upon entering the room he saw three Seiko watches on the office table near the center of the room. He quickly looked at them and picked one up. It was a chronograph.
"Please put that down 007," said Q in his schoolmaster tone. "That is still in the early stages of development…"
END