MISTNEY SPEAROWS
CHAPTER 1- Pokemon Pervertokemon
It was a beautiful day in the city of Viridian. The Sentret played
beautifully across Route 1 as the Poliwag skipped across the nearby lake.
...rumble...rumble...
The Pokemon Center bustled with new young trainers awaiting that one
day they might become pokemon masters. Boys and girls met here from
far and wide, striking friendships and romances while waiting for their
pokemon.
...rumble...bumble...rumble...
All seemed blissfully in place as couples looked out of Viridian's
highest skyscrapers across the lovely landscape.
...rumble...rumble...mumble...
Even a certain crime boss enjoyed the view from his headquarters as
he yawned, "Aww...life is great. Jessie, James and Meowth are out
of my hair, the pokemon anime is still suspended so I can turn my attention
to my occupation as a criminal mastermind, and best of all, that little
boy's redheaded girlfriend is raking in millions for Team's Rocket's music
division. Who'd a thought exploiting horny teen boys would be so
easy and profitable?! Nothing can ruin this moment..." All
of a sudden, he noticed the ground shaking and took notice of something
very huge in the distance...RUMBLE...RUMBLE...RUMBLE...
"WHAT THE F!@%! IS THAT?!"
(insert theme of "Flight of the Valkryies")
"HAPPEE EASTER!!! HAAAAA!!!!!". The voice came from the
speakers of a HUGE, pink, mechanized robot. It was Jigglypuff-shaped,
but moved on spiked, pink feet capable of mincing anything on the ground
into a bloody pulp. It was armed with 18 mini-nuke rocket bays, 24
chaingun nail cannons each capable of firing 500 rounds per second, 30
RPG (Rocket-Propelled Grenade) Launchers, 2 large shoulder-mounted ion-fusion
laser cannons, 12 plasma bomb launching railguns, and was armored with
12-foot thick titanium alloy walls combined with a battery-powered force
field.
Giovanni shivered, "...IT BE...JIG...JIG...JIGGLYPUFF!!!"
Ash took over the mike, "GIMME BACK MY GIRLFRIEND, YOU BALDING, BREASTFEEDING,
PERSIAN-MOLESTING, TWO-BIT GODFATHER RIPOFF!!!"
Giovanni growled, "I DO NOT MOLEST MY PERSIAN!!!"
Ash snickered audibly on the intercom to Jigglypuff in a 'Dr. Evil'-like
voice, "No, Mini-Me...We do not eat Mr. Bigglesworth...heh-heh..."
"WHY YOU???!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!," Giovanni yelled on his
cellphone, "SEND IN TEAM ROCKET'S ARMADA, NOW!!!"
Jigglypuff revved up the ultimate in mechanized combat machinery, "FEEELL
ZE WRATH OF ZE...
Back in Pallet Town...
It was around midday at Oak's Lab. Delia Ketchum listened intently
as Professor Oak continued instructing everyone in his TAE-BOAK® class...
"Shake your booties left and right!!! Left, right, left, right,
" Oak said as he inspected his pupils butt movement.
"How am I doing, Professor?" Delia asked.
"Ohh, you're no doubt my star bootie, err I mean star pupil!!!
Yes!!! Pupil!!! Heh-hehe..." Oak sweatdrops.
"Now shake your chests up and down!!! Up!!! Down!!! Up!!!
Down!!! Faster, faster!!!"
Brock and Sailor Mars, James and Jessie were still at Ash's house making
out on the sofa, seriously pondering a trip to the bedrooms upstairs, but
mindful of the PG-13 rating. That plus the girls had chastity belts
on.
"Rei, my lips are tired. Maybe we should watch TV,"Brock mumbled.
"Jessie, my lips are tired too," James winced.
Both Rei and Jessie yelled, "WE HAVE TO KEEP KISSING OR WE'RE GONNA
GET BORED!!! THERE'S NOTHING TO DO IN THIS HOUSE!!!"
A really bad, yet enticing idea came into Jame's head, "HEY!!!
Why don't we throw...A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Brock butted in, "NO WAY!!! We can't do that in someone else's
house!!! Besides, there aren't enough people in Pallet Town to fill
one room of this house!!!"
Rei tickled him on the chest, "Oh Brocky, please!!! I can phone
some friends over!!! PLEASE!!!"
Brock turned to a blushing mush as Jessie yelled, "HOUSE PARTY, HOUSE
PARTY!!!!!!"
Meanwhile in the backyard, Meowth is standing on one foot on a wooden
barrel, being trained in the Chu Dan fighting arts by Hidden Pikachu, while
Crouching Togepi sits under a tree while meditating on the ancient Zen
question "If an egg is frying on a pan in an empty kitchen, does it make
a sound?"
Hidden Pikachu grabs a bamboo stick and smacks Meowth on his standing
leg.
SMACK!!!
"MEOWCH!!! What'cha do that for?!" Meowth yelled.
Pikachu held its paws together, "Focus your pain on your kata!!!
The sky is your butterfly..."
"HUH?!"
"For it is written by Confucius, 'The walk to true enlightenment begins
on your pinkie toe..."
"WHAT?!"
"Horny Princess Muki once wrote, 'The bamboo rod is stiffest in the
morning..."
"EHH?!...?!"
"And ambiguously homosexual Ming-Chow once said, 'Pain is like Boy
George. It stings at first but you fall in love with it later..."
"BOY GEORGE?!"
Pikachu started chanting, "Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma...chameleon..."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
SMACK!!! Pikachu smacks him again with the bamboo rod, "Don't yell!!!"
"...sorry..."
...ding-dong...
Ash's doorbell rang and the two couples nervously ran to open the door
and were surprised, "Tracey?! Melody?! Richie?!"
Tracey, "Hey guys!!! Congratulations on killing Eminem!!!"
Melody growled, "Where's Ash?! Sorry to hear Misty's brain has
been fused with the superslut Britney, but now that Ash is available..."
Richie butted in, " I heard Ash captured Barney!!! I've always
loved Barney and I was hoping he could show me!"
Everyone looked at him, turned blue and sweatdropped as Richie said,
"Hey wha' did I say...*gulp*...?"
Jessie broke the silence, "HEY!!! You came at just the right time.
Though the twerp isn't here, we're gonna be throwing a house party and
you three are invited!!!"
Tracey held his chin, "Does Ash know?"
Brock pulled Tracey to one side, "No, he doesn't know and you're not
saying a thing..."
"And why not?"
"I'll tell everyone here about your latest hentai series featuring
you and Giselle..."
"NOT "POKEMON TECH PASSION"!!! YOU WOULDN'T DARE!!!"
"Hey guys!!! Tracey's got some great drawings he wants to...*BANG*...ouch!!!"
Tracey smacked Brock on the head with his sketchbook and yelled, "HOUSE
PAR-TAY!!!"
Melody exclaimed, "Cool! A house party!!! Will Ash be here
soon?!"
Jessie, ever the manipulator, pulled Melody in the house, "Oh, he'll
be here...and completely available. With the redheaded twerp gone,
you're poised to be his next piece of bootie..."
Melody's eyes got big and starry, "YOU REALLY THINK SO?!"
"Definitely!!! I'll even help you with my world-famous beauty
secrets guaranteed to seduce him!!!"
Richie looked on as both Tracey and Melody got pulled in, "HEY!!!
What about me?! I wanna see Barney!!!"
Elsewhere, back in a hidden recording studio deep inside a hidden Team
Rocket HQ, our semi-brainwashed redhead heroine, Misty, sits back in chair
while being instructed in the arts of slutdom by the grand archqueen of
ho-osity, Madonna.
"AND SO YOU SEE, EH...NISTY, RIGHT?"
"Umm...Misty, ma'am."
"YAH, THAT'S WHA' I SAID, GISTY. THIS IS HOW YOU F!%$ AND S!%%
AND !$@!@*!@ AND GET PWEGNANT BY COMPLETE MALE STWANGERS!!! I'S EASY,
RRRIGHT?!"
Misty raised an eyebrow, "Umm, I don't know how to say this, but that
was completely disgusting and quite disturbing given the fact you're saying
this stuff in front of your kids. I fear for how your children are
gonna turn out."
But all of a sudden, the Britney side of Misty's brain quickly took
over her mouth, "F!%! AND S!~!% OOH YEAH!!! Where's Justin Timberlake?!
I owe him a good blow!!! ACK!!!"
Soon after, Misty regained control, "EWWW GROSS!!! Man, what
just came out of me?!"
Madonna cheered, "THA'S DA SPIWIT!!! NOW, LEMME DEMONSTWATE SEX
WIT' A CHAIR!!! LOURDES, COME AND WATCH MUMMY!!!"
Misty sweatdropped and left the room just as Madonna was starting her
demonstration of chair sex in front of her kids. She looked up at
the setting sun and slowly but beautifully, an image of a certain semi-pubescent,
scruffy haired boy popped into her head, "Who is he?! Why can't I
remember him?"
The Britney side of her brain repossessed her control,"HE'S SOMEONE
WE CAN BLOW!!!"
Misty quickly suppressed it again, "ACK!!! Shut up!!! I
feel like singing a loving song about this boy..."
(A/N Misty's parts sung to no song in particular, but Britney's parts
are perversions of "Karaokemon" songs)
Oh...who are you?
Are you a friend?
With a Pikachu
And a love that'll never end
"...ACK!!!" (Britney takes over)
BRIT-NEY-SPEARS!!!
She sucks 'em like no other!!!
I-CHOOSE-YOU!!!
Because you carry rubbers!!!
I've been waiting all this night
Waiting for this time
For my blowjob to arrive!!!
And now that I'm here!!!
We can disappear!!!
In the motel until 5!!!
'Cause in the superslut world!!!
"...ACK!!! Will you stop that?!"
Take me into your arm
I'm sure there'll be no harm
When you look into my eyes...
And within there, our love lies...ACK!!! (Britney again...)
THE HORNY FEELING
Never let ya down
I've got the greatest hooker
That ever could be found.
Across every centerfold
Behind every pimp
On top of every mattress
She's a ho for you and me
ONE WHORE
One whore now and forever
Best blows
Best blows that leave your d!@% blue
WET DREAMS
thats side by side
There's nothing she can't screw
We hump
Sharing in a threesome...OH YEAH!!!...
YOU AND ME AND BRITNEY SPEARS!!!
"...ACK!!!" Misty clutched her head, noticing it was getting harder
to control the terrifying pop star slut's brain. Suddenly, a flash
of light shone before her and out of that light came a completely naked
figure.
"HELLO, MY LITTLE BOYS!!! OH DEAR GOD, THIS ISN'T THE SAN FRANCISCO
RAINBOW FESTIVAL?! I TELEPORTED TO THE WRONG RESTROOM...OOPS, DID
THAT SLIP?!"
Misty asked him, "Excuse me, but who are you?!"
"OH, HELLO DEAR. I'M GEORGE MICHAEL. HEY, YOU SEEM FAMILIAR?!
AREN'T YOU THE GIRLFRIEND OF THAT BOY WITH THE DELICIOUS RUMP...OOPS, DID
THAT SLIP?!"
"Girlfriend?! You mean I have a boyfriend?! Please, you
have to help me!!! Part of my memory is gone and I have a superslut
called Britney Spears stuck in my brain...ACK!!!...SUCK!!! SUCK!!!
SUCK!!! HOW 'BOUT SOME HEAD!!!"
George Michael limped his wrist, "SORRY HONEYCHILD, I DON'T SWING ON
THAT SIDE OF THE STREET, BUT, SINCE YOU'RE ASH'S GIRLFRIEND, I'M GONNA
HELP YOU. JUST DON'T FLIRT WITH ME!!! I AM QUITE HAPPY BEING
GEORGE MICHAEL!!!"
Misty grinned, "Okay!!! ACK!!!...JUSTIN!! OH, JUSTIN!!!
HOWIE!!! OH, HOWIE!!! A ONE CLIENT TRICK'S WHAT I WANNA
BE, BUT THERE'S TWO PERFECT PIMPS FOR ME!!! HEY!!! OH!!!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Next Episode: Jigglypuff Vs. Team Rocket's Entire Armada!!! Ash infiltrates Team Rocket HQ and goes on a penile dismembering rampage!!! Misty does a concert with Elton John?! Team Rocket and pals throw the mother of all house partys, but the evil pop star known as Aaron Carter has plans to use the party to infest the world with a race of flesh-eating pop star mutant spawn!!! Can he be stopped?!