Wedding Crashers
"For the millionth time-NO!! We don't want an aquarium in the lobby! I don't care how pretty the fish are!" Natalia shouted.
"Easy there, Tali." Christine snickered.
"I'm sorry, I just want everything to be absolutely perfect!" Natalia stressed, gripping her phone tightly.
"It's your wedding, it doesn't have to be perfect, honey." Arianne said to her eldest daughter. "I know you want it to be, but chances are it's not going to happen."
"I know mom, but I can try!" Natalia protested, rushing off to check on the main chapel.
"My wedding wasn't perfect!!" Arianne shouted to her daughter. "Your father got cold feet and climbed up a tree! That's how he realized he had a fear of heights! The firemen got him down with a ladder and-"
"Mom!" Christine interrupted. "Why would you tell her that?"
"I want all these trees chopped down!!"
"Well we convinced her to let the trees live." Anya said to Calleigh breathlessly as she and Christine had to run to keep up with their much longer legged sister's pace.
"Oh, that's good." Calleigh smiled, turning back to the set up.
The chapel was almost completely set up, after all, the wedding was tomorrow! It was a classic matrimony paradise. White everything, including the white lily and white rose bouquets with white ribbons tied around them. A color blind person would've thought they'd gone blind.
"Now we're just trying to find her." Christine wheezed.
"Oh, don't worry about that, girls, I think I know where she is." Calleigh said with her sweet southern drawl. "Excuse me for a second."
"Take your time." Anya said with her head down. "How could we be so out of shape?"
"I am not out of shape...Ugh! Can't talk. Too out-of-breath."
"Yeah...you're in tip-top shape."
"Natalia?" Calleigh called into the huge room. The wedding dress was in the corner and the makeup table was undisturbed. "Nat?"
"Calleigh?" A somewhat raspy voice came from the bedroom.
"I know you're shouting at those birds again, but it's not going to do any good. They cannot understand you." Natalia turned to Calleigh as she entered. "Let it go."
"Stupid birds." Natalia grumbled. "That's the third time today they've pooped in the planters."
"It's also the seventh time today you've looked out that window, I'm startin' to worry you're gonna jump out it." Calleigh smiled.
"I'm just...freaking out, Calleigh." Natalia sighed.
"You could say that it was the bird's poop that brings you back here, but for some crazy reason I don't believe that." Calleigh said softly. "I think it's the view of Ryan's hotel that brings you back here. Not that I don't think it's adorable, but you miss Ryan more than you'd like to admit, don't you?"
"It's driving me nuts!" She groaned, slamming the window closed so hard the glass shattered and fell out. Just like in convenient plot-twist movies, a disturbed cat's yowling could be heard outside.
Calleigh stared blankly at her friend with wide eyes. "You're stronger than you look."
"I'm sure that cat'll be fine." Natalia waved, sitting on the bed. Calleigh sat down with her and all it took was one poignant look to make her crack. "I wanna see my Ryan!"
"I know, sweetpea, I know." Calleigh smiled apologetically, smoothing Natalia's auburn-gold hair as she laid on the fluffy duvet. Calleigh went to lie down with her and smiled. "I feel like I'm having a highschool dishing party."
"I used to have those all the time." Natalia smiled. "Thanks."
"Nat, you're my best friend." Calleigh said like it was first thing people learned when they entered the world. "Anytime, hon."
"I wonder how Ryan's doing..."
"Eric, when I said let's watch a movie, I didn't mean this." Ryan grumbled from his swivel chair, watching the Cuban instead of the clip.
"Come on, Wolfe, I can't have you trying to escape again." Eric chuckled, having a handful of popcorn. "Calleigh told me to keep you here until the wedding and I intend to do so."
"Well then at least answer one question." Ryan quirked an eyebrow. Eric nodded. "Where did you get this roll of duct tape?"
"I had it with me." Eric replied casually.
"You carry around duct tape?" Asked Ryan.
"Yup, ever since Calleigh and I saw Jake Berkley in the grocery store and I tackled him into the dairy products and used some conveniently placed duct tape to tape him to the ice cream freezer door."
Ryan stared at his friend with a vacant expression. "Do you tackle that guy every time you see him?"
"Pretty much." Eric shrugged, eating some more popcorn. "Oh, man, I'm sorry...you want some?"
"No thanks, I'd rather be UN-DUCT-TAPED!" Ryan shouted.
"Oh." Eric blinked. "How 'bout I get you a drink, instead?"
"Yes, Eric, that will make everything better."
"Knock, knock!" A man called from the other side of the door.
"Come in!" Natalia called.
"Hey pumpkin, how are you?" Nathaniel asked his eldest daughter.
"I'm good, dad." She sighed. "I just miss Ryan."
"I know, baby, but the wedding's tomorrow. You'll see him soon." Nathaniel smiled, patting her knee.
"Dad, you're really okay with this? I'm getting married to Ryan tomorrow." Natalia said, emphasizing all the right words.
"I know, sweetheart, and I'm okay. You're always gonna be my little girl, but I trust Ryan to take care of you." He sighed.
"Well, I know you're lying, but I appreciate the effort."
The birds were chirping at the crack of dawn. Their tweets could be heard all over the city, marking a new day. Their song was a lovely-
"Shut up!" Natalia shouted at the feathered offenders.
"Natalia?" Calleigh asked drowsily, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She was wearing a fluffy white bathrobe over her sky blue pajamas.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Asked Natalia.
"You woke people in France." Calleigh yawned. "Did you sleep?"
"A bit." The older woman sighed. "This is it.
"Your big day." Calleigh smiled softly. "Excited? Nervous?"
"Extremely." Natalia admitted. "Which seems weird to me, since I've been married before, but Ryan's...different."
"Well you two are absolutely perfect for each other." Cal smiled.
"Thanks, Calleigh, but I still feel like I'm gonna explode."
"Ryan? What are you doing?" Eric asked drowsily, getting out of bed to find his friend standing on his head in the corner.
"Yoga...the brochure said it calms the soul." Ryan replied evenly, not opening his eyes.
"I see...nervous?" Eric chuckled.
"Do you think I normally stand on my head to relax?" Ryan dead panned. "Now, can you help me down, please?"
"Sure." Eric helped Ryan get back to his feet without hurting himself and motioned for him to sit. "You shouldn't let the blood rush to your head on your wedding day."
"I know, but I think the only way I'll be able to do this is if my brain's got everything it needs and then some." Ryan sighed.
"What your brain needs right now is a good breakfast." The Cuban smiled. "I ordered room service with eggs, toast, bacon, the works."
"Thanks man." Ryan smiled. "Today's the day, huh?"
"You're gonna marry Natalia, just be good to her." Eric said pointedly. He'd grown to be good friends-and good friends only-with Natalia, even considering her like a sister. Not to mention she was Calleigh's best friend...girl friend, and he'd grown to be extremely fond of her. "She deserves a husband who'll treat her right this time."
"I know, believe me...what do you think I should do with my hair?" Ryan asked somewhat out of the blue.
"How should I know?" Eric shrugged. "I think she likes it spiked."
"Yeah, that's how Calleigh likes yours."
"Nat? Sweetheart?" Calleigh called up into the tree. "I can see you, you know! Your hair's caught on a twig!"
"Actually there's some sap on the twig and it's stuck to that." An unhappy voice came in reply.
"Oh, honey." Calleigh smiled, climbing up the tree to sit next to her friend on the sturdy branch. "Will this hold both of us?"
"If we fall and die we'll know." Natalia grumbled.
"Come on Natalia, it's your wedding day, you should be ecstatic." Calleigh said in her soft, whispering tone.
"I know, and I am happy to be getting married. It's just that..." Natalia trailed off.
"It's perfectly natural to be nervous. You're in love, I know how it is-you want everything to be perfect. You and Ryan are about to start a life together, cheer up." Calleigh urged, turning to her friend and looking at her with puppy eyes. "Come on...give us a smile."
Natalia did smile, letting out a little laugh. "Cal..."
"You know...I'd like to get off this tree before we do fall and die." Calleigh murmured nervously.
"Yeah, and I think the tree ants are starting to-"
"Ants?! Ants! Ah! Ants! All over!" Calleigh shrieked, flailing madly. "Ants! Get 'em off! Ah!"
"Oh my god-Calleigh?!" Natalia winced as she saw the petit blond hit the ground with a thud. Luckily, the tree branch wasn't that high off the ground; maybe six feet at best. Still... "Are you okay?!"
"I'm good!" The southern belle called with a chipper tone, holding her thumb up though she remained on the ground. "Um...Natalia...could you do me the favor of getting a giant tub of ice and dumping it on me?"
"Yeah...that looks pretty painful." Natalia cringed.
"Oh...it is." Came her strangely happy reply. "Very much so."
"You sound pretty happy about that." Said Natalia.
"Yes, yes I do, but I don't feel any ants on me, so I'm good!"
"Okay, aside from Calleigh falling out of a tree, we're all set?" Asked Anya.
"Yep...that Calleigh is one tough cookie." Christine muttered.
"Where is she anyway? She should see a doctor." Anya frowned.
"I don't know where she is. I think she went to find Eric and Ryan." Said Christine. "Tali's looking for her anyway."
"Calleigh?" Natalia called down yet another empty hallway.
Thump!
Natalia walked down a smaller hallway that led to the janitor's closet. The sounds were coming from inside the tiny utility closet and getting louder by the minute. Voices could be heard from inside as well...familiar voices. Natalia opened the door cautiously.
"Oh..." Calleigh turned awkwardly. "Hey Nat."
"Hi...Natalia." Eric said, equally cumbrous.
Calleigh and Eric's lips were swollen and red from their making out. She had one leg hooked with his and one in a bucket on the floor. Eric had his hands on her ass while he was sitting on a shelf that previously held cleaning products; now, it held his ass. The mop and broom that had been moved away now shifted slightly, startling the two.
Natalia stared at her two friends blankly, her hand still on the doorknob. Her burnt-honey eyes were half lidded as she looked at the two with...well, it was hard to tell. She closed the door slowly and, once it was completely closed, turned and walked away. "Just keep walking, Natalia, just keep walking and everything will be okay...keep walking."
Twenty minutes before the reception began, the place was quiet. Natalia was ready and so was Ryan...except no one could find them.
"Where is she?!" Calleigh asked Christine frantically. "She's supposed to get married in twenty minutes!"
"I don't know where she is!" Christine answered, just as panicked.
"Where could she really go...?" Calleigh asked herself, going into CSI mode. She was wearing her wedding dress and her makeup and hair were done, so she couldn't have run off without being noticed.
"Did anyone check her room?" Valera asked, simply passing by quickly with a plate of cheese cubes.
"DID anyone check her room?" Calleigh asked.
"I thought you were going to!" Christine and Anya both said, pointing at each other. They turned to the unhappy looking blond slowly, seeing her with her hands on her hips. "Sorry."
"I'll be right back." She huffed.
"I thought you were gonna check on her!" Christine pointed.
"No, you were gonna check her!" Anya rebutted.
"No, you were gonna check her!"
"No, you were gonna check her!"
"Do you guys have anymore cheese cubes? They're good!"
"Natalia?" Calleigh found the older woman sitting on her bed, looking at her ring. "It's time."
"Calleigh, I'm not ready." Natalia fretted.
"Of coarse you are, you just won't know it until you get out there."
Calleigh smiled.
Natalia's dress was a pure, ivory white gown. The deep v-neck dipped quite far down and the torso was Egyptian cotton and solid. A v shape coming from her hips separated the body of the dress from the skirt, which was transparent white fabric over flowing white satin. Her veil was holding her hair back, except for her side bangs and a few well curled pieces that reached her shoulders.
Calleigh's maid of honor dress was a burgundy red with bright red trim along the straps and knee length hem. Her hair was tied up with only a few ringlets at the sides of her angelic face.
"You haven't seen a marriage go down hill." Natalia frowned.
"But this marriage is not going to go downhill." Calleigh cut in quickly, ever the optimist.
"How can you guarantee that?" Asked Natalia.
"Because I fell out a tree, got caught making out in a closet and everything in between, this wedding has nowhere to go but up."
"Ryan, come on!" Eric shouted through the bathroom door. "Don't make me break this thing down and charge it to you!"
"Eric, I can't do this! She's a million times to good for me!" Came Ryan's worried reply.
"Natalia loves you, and expects you to be out there to marry, now get your ass out here or I swear to God I'll come in there and sling you over my shoulder and bring you out myself!" Eric shouted again.
"Fine, fine, fine! Just don't get violent with the door."
"You may now kiss the bride."
Natalia and Ryan leaned forward quickly and shared a sweet but passionate kiss as they were told. Around them, their friends and family were smiling and/or sniffling.
"So beautiful." Calleigh-the last one they all expected to cry-sniffed, dabbing her eyes again and leaning on Eric.
"I know." He rubbed her tiny shoulder. "Don't cry, Cal."
"I can't help it." She said in her defense. "They're so good together!"
"As good as us?" Asked Eric.
"Maybe tied...or at least a close second." She smiled.
"I never thought you'd cry at a wedding." Said Eric.
"Well every girl has her moments." She sighed.
"H isn't crying." Eric pointed to the red haired man, who just sat smiling with Yelina holding onto his arm with her own tiny tears.
"If H cries it means Armageddon." Calleigh stated bluntly.
"Well, he'd kill me if I said this to anyone, but I think he's got a few tears." Eric chuckled, seeing the burly Texan take in a shaky breath.
"Oh my..." Calleigh said with her southern drawl.
Natalia and Ryan broke apart and beamed at each other, Natalia with a happy glow and Ryan with a dazzling smile. She smiled as he entangled a hand in her hair and kissed her again. "I love you."
"I love you too...is there sap in your hair?"