"So my feelings are normal?" the woman asked.
"Of course, my child." Castiel all but purred. His voice soft and secure as he hugged yet another girl that had wandered into his small sanctuary. She had been in before, but the last time she was here, they hadn't really gotten anywhere. Hadn't made any progress. Too afraid to say anything. "Being attracted to another woman in our camp is perfectly ok. And if you want to know how she feels about you, all you need to do is ask." He rested his hand on her shoulder, and gave a reassuring smile.
"Thank you so much, Castiel…" she barely whispered, not meeting his eyes. She nodded, and walked out, ringing her hands slightly. She was so young, and being only fifteen when the Croatoan had struck, she'd practically been raised in the survivor camps way of life.
"She's probably on her way now…" Castiel thought, a smile spreading across his face, not quite reaching his eyes.
Ever since Sam's body had been taken over by Lucifer, life had been… Different. It certainly wasn't good, but it wasn't as awful as it could have been. Castiel liked the people he was with, he liked the life he lived. It wasn't perfect, but at least he was alive. His hand automatically slid over his chest to rub at his arm. When he fell from heaven, there was forever a scorch mark of an angel wing down each of his arms. They weren't long, starting at hi shoulder blades, and stretching down to just above his elbow, but they did ache sometimes. When that happened he would rub them, hoping it would ease the pain.
"Cas?" a voice called just outside the door-well not really a door… It was just one of those bead covers- making Castiel's heart skip a beat. Of course, being the new age hippy that he was, Castiel could smile whenever he wanted and it wouldn't seem strange or out of the ordinary.
"Dean? In here." He called back, turning to face the door. "What can I do for you this fine evening?" he asked, sitting down on the floor in an attempt to look relaxed.
"You, uh. Got any more painkillers?" Dean grumbled, looking around the cabin in a mix of intrigue and annoyance. He had never understood why Castiel got into all this Buddhist crap, but whatever works. Dean wasn't about to go denying anyone around here any form of comfort. If this is what made Castiel feel better, he was fine with it. "My backs acting up again." He added, leaning a bit to the side as he walked in, boots clunking on the hard wood.
"Of course. Someone brought me these on the last scouting mission." He said, pulling out a small bottle of Aleve. "You know… I feel like falling off the back of the Jeep probably wasn't the best thing for you." Castiel chuckled lowly, dropping a couple pills into his hand, and handing them off to Dean.
"Uh, yea. I kinda figured." Dean really hoped his face hadn't gone red at that last part, considering the reason he'd fallen off was because he'd seen a half-naked Castiel working out early one morning, and instead of looking away, he leaned to far back in hopes to get a longer look.
"Well… You have the painkillers. You can go," Castiel began, hesitating to add, "but you're welcome back anytime."
Dean gave a short jerk of his head in response. He didn't want to say something he'd regret later. Once out of hearing range, he gave a sigh of relief. Dean had never really admitted to himself how he felt about Cas. Or really men in general. But as the two spent more and more time together, it was getting ahrder to push the thought of Cas and himsle fot the back of his mind.
He'd never been truly attracted to someone on this level. Sure, he'd look at a woman and think "Smokin'." And maybe every once in a while, he'd see a man in uniform, pretty much any uniform, and think "Damn." Drawing out the 'a' as he thought it. But he'd catch himself, and look away, worried someone saw and would… Well he didn't know what. Be rude to him? People are assholes sometimes, and all Dean wanted was to be himself without feeling judged or looked down on.
Nonetheless, Dean was scared of what other people thought of him. He already thought so lowly of himself, he didn't want others judgment resonating in the back of his head as well. "Dean! You feelin' ok?" Chuck called, jogging over to where Dean was standing.
Dean coughed, and put his neutral face back on. "Yea fine Whadoyou need?" he almost slurred. Thinking about Cas got him a little day dreamy, and it was hard to focus again.
"Ah! Right. We're almost out of perishables again. Someone's sneaking seconds and its messing with the supply. Whenever we give out shares it seems like there's less then the day before. And it's only the sweets. Not just candy and junk food, or whatever, but the fruit." Chuck said, his face a little amused at the fact.
Dean frowned, figuring out exactly who it was…
Castiel peeled off another orange slice and popped it in his mouth. He'd never really thought about how much food he was taking, but looking at his stash, he figured it was time to lay off the stealing for a bit.
"Cas, c'mon man we talked about this." He heard Dean say from the "meditation area" which was really the front room in his cabin. He almost choked on his orange, not wanting to get caught again. For a moment he panicked, not sure what to do. After a second, he turned, looked over at the window, and chucked his orange.
"What the-" he heard some female voice in the distance, but tuned it out turned back around to face the doorway to his kitchen.
"What do you mean?" he said innocently as Dean walked in, gun slung over his shoulder, five o'clock shadow unshaved, and looking as fucking gorgeous as ever.
"The fruit and sweets, man. I know you took 'em." Dean hissed, trying not to be too loud. Cas shook his head, and looked up from Dean's chest.
"I didn't take anything, Dean. Promise." He said, smiling a little. Dean knew he was lying, but there was only one way to find out.
Dean took a few steps forward, closing the distance between them. He pressed his chest up against the man, causing Cas' breath to hitch. Dean had the man pinned up against the counter, and watched as Cas' hand went back to the ledge so he could support himself.
"No way…" Dean thought, trying not to get excited. He got no complaints from Cas about what he was doing, and he knew Cas had no idea the Dean knew where his stash was. So… Cas wanted this? The two of them?
Slowly, Dean moved his hand up, past Castiel's head, and pulled open a cabinet door that looked and was supposed to be fake, but Dean knew worked. "That's right…" he muttered, not moving away. "I know where your stash is."
Dean looked down, his eyes half lidded. Cas looked up, his eyes a little wide, and bit his lip. "Holy shit that's hot…" Dean thought.
"What?" Cas asked, not quite sure he'd heard right.
"Shit shit shit I said that out loud! Oh god please no." Dean really did think this time. "Uh, nothing. I didn't say anything." He answered awkwardly. Dean pushed away, unpinning Cas. He couldn't help but notice the flash of disappointment in the man's eyes. "I won't tell anyone," Dean started and reached up to grab something from the cabint, "But only if I can take this." he added, pulling out a pack of Starburts.
"Sure…" Castiel mumbled, still stuck in a sort of daze. "See ya." he nearly whispered as Dean left, only noticing by the clunk clunk of the man's shoes.
Slowly, Cas pushed himself off the cabinet. He'd felt that. The connection, the want. And he knew Dean had felt it, too. There's no way he hadn't.
"Gotta find Dean." He muttered, almost tripping over his own feet as he grabbed his jacket and walked out the door.
Dean's breath was coming a little fast. "Shit shit shit shit shit…" he growled to himself over and over. How could he have been so stupid? In the heat of the moment he… "AUGH." he shouted, frustrated with himself more than ever. But still… He'd seen the look of disappointment on Cas' face. He'd felt it, too. The lust for each other. It had radiated off both of them in waves.
He shook his head hard. "Alright. Lets go already!" he called, banging his hand twice on the side of the jeep. The car yelled to life, blocking out most noise except of the people right next to each other. Including Cas calling Dean's name.
"Dean, please! Wait!" Cas all but screamed, needing so badly for Dean to just look over. "Please!" he tried once more, but to no avail. Cas, having given up, walked over to Chuck, who was in charge of all scheduling, including when the supply group got back, and asked, "When do they get back?"
"Not for… Two hours." Chuck said. "Why?"
"Uhm… No reason. Just tell Dean to meet me at my cabin when he gets back. Thanks.." Cas said, already turning to leave, not willing to wait for a 'yes' or 'no' from Chuck.
Once back to his cabin, Castiel plopped down on the couch. He hadn't the energy nor focus to meditate, so he just sat down to think. "What am I gonna say? How will he react? …Why the fuck is this so hard?" Just earlier today he had told a girl that all she needed to do was ask. "That's what I'll do then… I'll ask."
Dean had been off since the incident in the cabin with Cas, and everyone on the supply group had noticed. "Dean, dude. What's going on with you?" one of the younger group members asked. He was knew and hadn't quite learned how to respect Dean yet. And older group member elbowed him in the side and gave him the quiet stare that meant "Shut up, rooky."
Dean grunted, and pulled his gun strap so the firearm was now on his back. "None of your business, asshole. Go find some god damn supplies. There's a pharmacy a block that way." After sending off everyone, a woman named Jane walked up. After a night together, and an awkward conversation about how Dean felt about a certain male camp member the next morning, the two had become close. Dean liked Jane, but he liked her as a friend. And she felt the same.
"So… you gonna tell me what the hell's wrong wit' you?" she said, her accent a little more Southern than most. "You been actin' spacey ever since you walked outta Castiel's cabin…" she trailed off at the last part, and looked up. "Oh my god what happened wit' you two?" she asked, already catching on.
"You're way too smart for your own good." Dean grumbled, running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm down. "Yeah… Yeah something happened. It was… intense, Jane." He pasued, not quite sure how to say the next part, "And… I loved every second. Am I….. Am I gay?" he almost whispered. He'd have never had this conversation with someone else, but this was Jane. He trusted her.
"Well how the hell should I know? And why you gotta go and put labels on it? It's just gonna stress you out. If you're attracted to someone, go for it." she said, offering her words of wisdom. When Dean thinks of a Southerner, he'd have never thought of Jane. Besides the accent, she's anything but.
"Thanks… Thanks a lot, Jane." he muttered, not really sure how to express his true gratefulness to her.
"I know. Now c'mon. We still got another hour 'n a half of this shit." she said, giving Dean a hard slap on the back.
Castiel's heart rate picked up when he heard the sound of gravel crunching against a cars weight. "Alright you've got this… Jesus Christ calm down." Cas was a mess. He had tried to sleep, but ended up tossing and turning a whole bunch on the couch, and now just looked like shit.
"Dean! Dude, c'mon!" Dean heard his name, but it took him a second to register it. From the look on Chuck's face, he'd been calling Dean's name for a while. Chuck was out of breath, having run from where he was a pretty good distance away. "Dean…" he took three heavy breaths before continuing. "Shit, man… Makin' me run all the way- whatever. Castiel needs you. He's in his cabin."
Dean gulped, but kept it hidden, his face hard as he nodded and walked off. He couldn't keep his mind from wandering as he headed toward Castiel's cabin. Would he be waiting there? With a piece of fruit in his mouth? Sitting on the big chair that Castiel called a couch- even though it only held on person comfortably. Would he be naked? Dean felt the blood rush from his head, and got a little hard thinking on that last idea.
"Cas? You needed to see… me…?" Dean said, slowly trailing off as he watched Castiel get up off the big chair. His hair was a tousled mess, his clothes where all out of place and wrinkled. And shit it looked hot. "Ahem. You needed me?" he tried again, sniffing a bit to hide the crack in his voice.
"Yea, uh… Can we talk?" Cas asked, gesturing for Dean to sit in the big chair. Dean complied, and sat down, putting his gun to the side.
"So, I mean- Do you like me? Because the thing in the kitchen earlier was really… intense," he began, using the same word Dean had used to describe it earlier, "and I, to be honest, really liked it. And, I kinda feel like you did, too? I mean, if you didn't that's cool, I was just wondering," he continued; when this had started he was just playing with his fingers, but as it went on, his movements became more erratic, until Dean was surpirised he wasn't knocking over one of his little Bhuddas with how badly he was flailing. "I'm really sorry if this is awkward-"
"Cas…"
"I just need to know because-"
"Cas."
"Well I really like you, and I have, but I don't know if-"
"Cas!"
"You swing that way. I mean, I didn't think I did then I met you, and-"
Dean got up and walked to Cas, pulling him into a quick, sloppy kiss. "That shut him up quick." After a moment of surprise, Cas turned his head, leaning into the kiss. Dean had to admit he liked this. Them. Together.
"Dean…" he heard Cas moan. "Whoa." Was all he thought. Dean began to control himself, cleaning up the kiss, and turning it from sloppy into a slow, romantic one. Of course, that didn't last long. The kiss became more hungry, more passionate.
Cas was totally cool with Dean being on top. He knew how this worked. But no way was Dean going to have all the power. Cas began to push, getting a low grunt of surprise in return. When Cas had pushed Dean all the way back to the chair, he began pulling off Dean's clothes. The jacket, the shirt, the socks and those big clunky shoes.
Dean let Cas rip his clothes away because he was doing the same. He pulled off the man's shoes, socks, shirt. Dean paused, noticing the tattoos. "I like your tattoos…" he muttered. Cas stopped, and looked at Dean. "They're scorch marks…" he whispered, his grip on Dean's leg tightening.
Dean put his hand below Cas' chin, and pulled him up. "They're beautiful." He said, leaning in for a new kiss. Cas pushed Dean down onto the chair, causing Dean to let out a "Oof!" as he hit the seat. Cas got down on his knees infront of the other, and began to kiss at his neck, then his hest, his abdomen. "Cas, wait a sec-" Cas moaned, and began to palm Dean's cock through his jeans. "Ah, fuck." Dean groaned, his hips pushing into Cas' hand. Slowly, oh so aching slow, Cas undid Dean's jeans, and unzipped his pants.
He let a hand trace over Dean's underwear, his fingers barely touching Dean's cock. "Cas c'mon." he muttered, reaching down to pull his pants and boxers away. Cas smacked his hand away, and smirked. "No. This is my time. You'll get your chance." he purred, his hand going back to work.
Cas pulled Dean's pants down, now exposing his cock. "Christ you're big…" he whispered, leaning in to kiss along Dean's hips. Cas let his tongue slide along the length of Dean's cock, teasing the other.
"Fuck Cas just please-" his breathe hitched as Cas took Dean's length in his mouth, slowly bobbing his head up and down. Cas let his tongue slide along the underside of Dean's cock, getting a shiver each time Dean moaned.
Cas massaged Dean's inner thighs, letting his hands work as his mouth did. Cas pulled away, only to come back a second later, twisting and turning his head.
Dean looked down, and "Oh shit." Cas was perfect. Dean knew he was so close, watching Cas work, his soft, yet chapped lips sliding over his length. "Cas no way am I gonna last much longer." He managed to grind out. Cas just looked up, and kept on going. And that was that. "Fuck!" Dean nearly shouted, cumming in Cas' mouth. He looked down and watch as Cas pulled his mouth away, a bridge of cum connecting his mouth and Dean' cock, and swallowed.
Dean stood, grabbed Cas' arm, and began to pull him to the bedroom. "Dean hold on, what's-" he stopped when he realized what was going on, and smiled. Dean pulled hard enough to throw Cas onto the bed, and immediately followed suit, climbing over the other.
Cas was way more into this then he should have been. Dean almost growled as he tugged Cas's pants away. "No underwear?"
Cas shrugged, and pointed to himself, "Hippy."
Dean smirked, and leaned down. The kiss was soft at first, growing more and more hungry as they continued. Cas kept the kiss going as he reached out to the side, and grabbed something out of the drawer by his bed. "You knew?" Dean asked between kisses.
"I'd kinda hoped." Cas admitted, smiling into the kiss.
Dean took the lube, and spread some on his fingers. Slowly, Dean pushed one finger inside. Cas hissed, but it quickly turned into a moan as Dean began to move it around. After Cas gave a nod, Dean pushed in a second finger, and then a third. He scissored all three, loving every moan he got from Cas.
"Dean, please." Cas begged, his fingers digging into the sheets to search for anything to hold onto. Dean wasn't about to say no. He pulled his fingers away, earning a shiver from Cas. After positioning himself, Dean pushed inside.
Cas's eyes went wide, his heart fluttering in his chest. Dean was still for a moment, letting Cas relax.
"Move…" It was so quiet, Dean hardly heard him.
"What?" he asked, not sure if he'd heard right.
"Move, damnit!" Cas said, his body aching with want. Dean easily complied. He pushed in and pulled out, his hips beginning to rock in a rhythm. Just as Cas felt he was getting use to the rhythm, Dean changed it. Faster or slower, as soon as he felt Cas fall into sync, he'd change.
Cas loved every second. "Oh God, Dean." He moaned, his lips parting as his breathe quickening as Dean slid over his prostrate. Cas reached down to stroke himself, needing some sort of contact. After a second, he found his hand covered by another, and gasped. Dean had wrapped his hand around Cas' and was now stroking him as well as thrusting into him. Every once in a while, Dean would throw the rhythm off again, not wanting to stroke Cas and grind into him at the same time.
"Dean I'm really close." Cas whimpered, his back arching up as he prepared to ride out his orgasm. Dean moaned again, only needing to Cas' voice to almost send him over the edge.
Cas screamed Dean's name as he came into their hands, his whole body shaking. Dean knew it; just the man's voice was enough. "Fuck, Cas!" he ground out, cuming as he pushed into Cas, his body almost convulsing. Dean slumped, his breathe heavy. After a moment, Dean pulled out and rolled onto his side next to Cas.
"… Wow." Dean muttered, his hand wrapping around Cas' waist and pulling him close.
"Yea..." Cas agreed, scooting back into Dean's arms.
Cas thought for a second, but decided to go ahead. "So… We can do that again, right?"
Dean smiled. "Oh hell yes."