This is a reversed response to Happie692B2's Untitled. In hers, Anakin is hurting over Ahsoka's leaving. This is Anakin initiating the breakup.
-x-
Anakin Skywalker, Chosen One, Hero with No Fear, General of the GAR, sat alone in his quarters tonight. Not just tonight. No, this was just another lonely day and night in his book. He'd stopped waiting, stopped hoping, stopped thinking, and above all else he stopped caring. He loved her more than she deserved and she abandoned him. That seemed funny to him at times. Shouldn't he have been the one to abandon her after doing so much for her?
He looked out the window, waiting to see if she'd even come home tonight. He laughed to himself. He asked himself what exactly he was waiting for. Things have been this way for over a month. A third party became involved and influenced her to the point where he hardly knew who she was. When they did talk, it was almost always an argument that began the long, cold shoulder sessions.
It was raining and part of him wanted to bar the door in any way so she'd be stuck out there. She would soak outside the way he soaked his pillow with tears most nights. He was tired of the way things worked, or rather faltered between them. She spat cruel words and accusations at him and he was baffled by them each and every time. What had he done to make her deem him a cheater? Never had he dreamed of anyone but her. When he didn't dream of her, he didn't dream at all.
What had he done so wrong to lose her trust? He's asked himself this repeatedly. Hadn't begging her to stay time and time again meant anything to her? He didn't want to let go of her. She meant everything to him. He'd failed evidently. He'd failed as her lover. He'd failed to make her happy. She was a constant reminder that he was an absolute fucking failure.
He shook his head violently, shaking those thoughts away. His resolve was as solid as could be. He was fed up with her by this point. He went to Obi-Wan for advice because he had listened each time Anakin was angry and needed comfort. Obi-Wan told him that he would have to decide whether or not he wanted to make things between them better.
Obi-Wan knew Anakin was miserable. He didn't hide his misery very well. He was frustrated with her and with the way his mood swings worried those who were close to him. Thunder sounded above him and he looked down at the path leading to their apartment. His apartment.
Numerous conversations with his Master made him see the situation from a different point of view. He'd finally decided to listen. He saw the truth as bluntly as he deserved to see it. He was a damn fool.
Her affair with Lux Bonteri not even a month after their wedding was the beginning of the end. He forgave her for every fucking wrong she committed. He knows now that he shouldn't have. If he could go back in time and change things, he would have ended it long ago. He would have saved himself from all of the heartbreak. He might not have so many hidden scars now if he'd just said he wanted things to be over back then.
Damn him and his damned heart. He wanted to see the good in her and he deceived himself for well over a year. He knows everything he should have known long ago, but he'd chosen to ignore it. Ahsoka, his wife for over a year now, is a bitch.
He couldn't help laughing now. "She's a bitch, and I'm a fucking idiot." He ran his fingers through his hair, sighing. After all the crying and sobbing in silence, how could he feel no remorse for what he was about to do the moment he saw her?
Simple. He didn't love her anymore.
A year ago, that would have seemed impossible. He didn't love her, but he didn't hate her either. Not really. He'd been thinking very hard about things over the last few days since their last encounter which ended abruptly after a small row. That argument was very stupid, he admitted, but the fact that it was over something miniscule had pushed him over his limit.
He, like everyone else, had a breaking point. He is human. He always has been. She made him feel more alive at times and it surprised him by how differently he felt lately. His heart was emptying day by lonely day. He'd gone from blissful to wanting to take his own life for being such a failure, but now he was as heartless and withdrawn as she made him. He reminded himself that he was at fault for staying with her this long.
The affair with Bonteri had broken his heart and trust considerably. His problems with Padme had never been like this. Yes, she asked his permission to sleep with other men, but she'd been upfront about it. Ahsoka went behind his back. For fuck knows how long, she snuck around with Bonteri. Oddly enough, Bonteri had been trying to come closer to Anakin after his wedding. Every time he was around them both at the same time, he noticed that Ahsoka wasn't wearing her wedding ring, and Bonteri was giving her looks of adoration. Looks only her husband, said husband being Anakin, should give her.
How that hadn't tipped him off, he still couldn't fathom. When Bonteri came to him and asked him to help clear the air between him and Ahsoka, Anakin's heart shattered. That was when he discovered that everything he'd been denying had in fact been true. The confrontation with Ahsoka caused more pain to him as she denied everything. When she finally admitted, he was too hurt to really comprehend that this happened.
Fuck Ahsoka. Fuck everything she did to him. Cheating, lying, and Force knows what else had led him here. He couldn't really trust her after Bonteri, but he'd tried so hard to. He even lowered himself to being her bitch when she cried about the affair. He made himself someone he despised. He comforted her after she'd hurt him. What the hell was Anakin thinking? Was he too in love with her? Yes. Was he too blind to see that she was using him? Yes. A fool. A damn fool.
He spent nearly every moment of everyday with her and he fell in love too hard and too fast. He gave himself and his heart to her too fast. He'll never make that mistake again.
She was coming to him now. She was going to apologize and tell him more lies. He believed her when she said she was with Master Ti, her birth mother, the woman who hated Anakin to the very core.
She'd been trying to split them since she discovered their marriage and the two of them worked hard to keep their relationship alive. Correction: Anakin worked hard. Any time Master Ti said something to Ahsoka about him, she would nod and agree. Never did she stand up for their relationship. She left him twice during their marriage and he'd forgiven her, but decided Master Ti was far from forgiven. He never forgave her, not even now. If anyone was to blame for what was about to happen, it was Master Ti.
Second correction: it was Master Ti and Ahsoka.
He remained on the window sill, watching as his wife came closer. She pulled her card out so she could access the apartment and he shielded himself perfectly from her. He wanted to break her heart like she'd broken his time and time again. He was now a heartless bastard because she abused his heart. He held no love for her and he certainly never would again, even if she begged him. She had too many chances to prove that she could love him as much as he loved her, and she always reverted to hurting him.
He stayed. He stayed faithful, loyal, and with her. He tried to make her happy, tried to show her that he loved her more than he could ever love anyone else. Things changed. At least for him. She would never change, he told himself. She promised she would, but never did.
It was lie after fucking lie, pain, pain, pain, and more lies and pain. To put it bluntly, he was fucked in the head for sticking around. This relationship was never healthy, never right. He promised her a future he saw with her, and now he was in the position where he no longer saw her in his future.
She came into their apartment and he kept staring out at the rain. It trickled down the window and splattered and bounced on the pavement below. "Hi, Ani," she said timidly. Typical, but he hadn't forgotten her words. No, he certainly hadn't.
"Take a seat, Ahsoka," he responded without looking back at her. He felt confusion and carelessness about her. Knowing her, this would turn into another horrid altercation. At least he knew how to end that. She sat silently and he watched her through the reflection of the window. "We need to talk."
He didn't feel anything as he said those dreadful words. He'd never imagined himself saying them to her. Every I love you had been from his heart, and now this phrase came from his heart. "Make it quick, sweetie. Barriss is waiting for me."
He shifted so he could look directly at her. "I don't want to be with you anymore. I don't love you anymore." He let that sink in for a moment. She looked hurt. "I'm sorry."
It wasn't a surprise to him that she immediately broke down. Well, it kind of was. He believed that she never really loved him at all. He believed she'd be overjoyed and relieved because he ended it. For all he knew, he could still be right. Fuck knows these tears could be faked. She'd been dramatic before and she was capable of crying at the drop of a hat. This was probably just an act.
You're not sorry, he told himself, because this is the right thing to do. His mantra as of late had become 'I have a right to be happy' and that was part of what drove him to this. He did have a right to happiness, just as much a right as she had. She'd always been miserable around him when they actually spent time together and he was tired of trying now. Everything he did was wrong. She was never satisfied and he blamed himself, called himself a failure.
"Why?" she croaked. She was more than likely hoping he would cave in, apologize and say that he wasn't serious, that he wanted to stay with her. That only strengthened his resolve. He finally stood and towered her as he always had. He never meant to look as menacing as he did now.
"Because I'm tired of the way things are," he said quietly. "I'm tired of you." Everything he wanted to say was summed up in those brief statements. He was tired of so many things she said and did that he couldn't even begin to list. He wanted her to leave him alone, for good. She stared at him hatefully, but he saw a flicker of hope in her eyes. It was a hope that he was sure he would tarnish in the coming moments. "I don't love you anymore," he repeated.
She shook her head and smiled forcibly, walking towards him. She gripped his arms, rubbing them nervously. In that moment, he pitied her. Was she really this desperate to be with him? Apparently so. "Ani, don't play games with me." She laughed quietly and he stared down at her, his eyes showing her that this was no game. "Ani," she said, her voice pleading with him.
"I don't love you anymore," he said for the third time. His chest grew colder and emptier than it already was. His voice was now bitter and resentful. She really expected him to love her after all the bullshit she put him through. He'd had enough of it long ago, but he couldn't give up on their love until now. It was the end. He'd pleaded for her to stay with him through so much and it seemed to be part of a game orchestrated by her the entire time. She was toying with him to see if he would put up with her and he wouldn't anymore.
Being stabbed in the back, stabbed in the heart, and blamed for miniscule things he hadn't even been involved in had been enough to bring him to this point. Add the lies and pain spoken about earlier to all of that and he was solid. There was no going back, not now. "Anakin," she said harshly.
"Isn't Barriss waiting for you?" he said bitterly. She looked stunned, but nodded slowly. He flicked his wrist towards the door so that it opened and he nodded towards the door. "Have fun. Don't let this bring you down." He kept his eyes on her as she stared at him, broken. "We weren't going to work out regardless. There's too much distance between us, Ahsoka."
Without another word, she was gone. Gone forever, he hoped. He sat alone in the window, turning back to look through the glass. The rain kept trickling down the window and he watched her leave him for what he hoped was the last time. She was now free to be with whomever she chose to be with without him holding her back now. He would send her the divorce papers he already filled out at another time. For now, they were just separated. He would make it official soon enough though. He wanted nothing to do with her anymore. He just watched her leave until she was entirely out of his sight. When she was gone, he breathed his first breath of freedom.
Anakin Skywalker really had fallen out of love with his wife.