Shaun's day started the same way as all his other days, with the sound of the alarm on his phone beeping. The only difference was today the sound seemed to echo in his ears and it was so damn annoying. He got up and fumbled with his phone trying to turn off his alarm as fast as possible, sighing in relief when the beeping stopped. The sun way glaring in at him through the cracks in the curtains stabbing at his eyes. He knew what was going on a wanted nothing more to crawl back under the covers and wait it out but he had a job now.
He did his push ups and his jump rope then got into the shower. The water which hat usually was the perfect temperature felt too hot yet too cold at the same time and was pounding at his back like it was trying to burrow through his skin. He grimanced at the slimy feeling of his shampoo washing out of his hair down his back and resisted the urge to vomit. He was relieved to get out of the shower but getting dressed was almost as bad.
The T-shirt he put on felt rough on his skin even though it's 100% cotton. The shirt is even worse he could feel every fiber of the small amount of polyester in the shirt grate against his skin making it feel irritated and itchy. He sighed rubbing his arms and ate his breakfast.
He walked to the bus stop the sun blinding him and the sounds deafening and nearly turned around and went home again when a young woman pulled out a cigarette and a lighter. She lit the cigarette and took a drag and Shaun coughed at the smell of the smoke. He got on the bus and closed his eyes and covered his ears counting the stops until he got to the hospital.
He got off the bus and walked into the hospital blinded and deafened be all that was happening around him. He somehow made it to the locker room and opened his locker cringing at the squeaking noise it made. He took his bag off his back then removed his coat placing both in his locker and putting on the lab coat. His lab coat usually made him feel stronger but now it just felt like it was restricting his breathing and his movement.
He walk along the corridor trying to ignore the sound of someone typing on a keyboard which was so annoying it made him want to scream or grab it from them and preferably crack it in half by now he was stimming, flapping his hands up and down. Shoes scuffing and squeaking on the floor. People talking and laughing. It all just, urgh! It hurt his head and eyes and ears and skin and everything.
He met Claire, Jared and Melendez near the end of his shift at the nurses station and he held his hands together so tightly his knuckles had turned white, twiddling his thumbs trying to hide the fact he was stimming and successfully it seemed.
"We have a 52 year old male to be sterilized tomorrow in room 304, we're going to talk to him now" Melendez said "he's in good heath and there is no complications anticipated". He looked at them for a second, " let's go!" he said. They walked down the corridor Melendez first, Jared and Claire behind him and Shaun just behind them trying to block out the lights and sounds. Unfortunately it was not working and it was just getting more difficult for him to breathe.
They got to the elevator and Claire, Jared and Melendez got in but Shaun stood outside twiddling his thumbs reluctant to get into a blindingly bright, enclosed space with three other people.
"Come on Murphy let's go!" Melendez said. Shaun stood fidgeting by the door which Jared was now holding, moving nothing but his hands.
"Today!".
Shaun stepped forward into the elevator, heart pounding. He closed his eyes and tried to stay calm. Though he knew it was impossible the seconds seemed to stretch to minutes. They reached the third floor and Shaun was out of the elevator before they could blink. Jared and Claire shared a look as they fell back into formation and followed Melendez.
"Is Shaun acting...weird today?" Claire asked.
"Shaun? The weirdest guy we know? Yes always" he said.
"Jared don't be mean! He just acts different to other people. I mean weird for him".
"I guess so" he said.
Melendez turned to them and said sharply "what are you two talking about?".
"Nothing" they said in unison.
They continued walking in silence until they got to their patient's room. Melendez opened the door and they all went in. Melendez stood and talked to the patient. The heart monitor was beeping, the patient was tapping his fingers on the railings of the bed, Claire was picking at her nails, Jared was tapping his foot, the lights bright and blinding. Shaun was standing with his hands over his ears eyes closed and didn't realize he was near hyperventilating until Claire put a hand on his arm. He opened his eyes and uncovered his ears.
"Shaun what's wrong?" she asked voice full of concern.
He flinched and took a step backwards then turned and ran from the room. The rest of the team looked at each other startled. Claire went out into the corridor and looked both ways to see him go around the corner. She turned to Jared and Melendez.
"What was that?" Melendez asked.
"I have no idea" Jared said.
"He's been acting weird all day" said Claire.
"We should go find him" Melendez said.
"He went this way" Claire said pointing in the direction Shaun had gone.
"Let's go" Melendez said.
They walked around the corner and began looking in all the rooms with the lights on but didn't find him.
"Try the rooms with the lights" Melendez said.
They went back down the hallway this time going into the rooms with the lights off. Halfway down the hall Jared called out "he's in here". Claire and Melendez jogged over to where he was standing. Shaun was sitting in the corner legs curled up to his chest, hands over his ears, eyes closed. Claire was the first to make a move. She walked over and knelt down beside him.
"Shaun?" she said shaking his arm slightly. Every muscle in his body with as tense as a guitar string. "Shaun what's wrong?" He didn't reply or even acknowledge here presence. She turned to Jared and Melendez who were now standing behind her.
"What's wrong with him?" she asked.
"I have no idea" Melendez said looking perplexed. He knelt down in front of Shaun next to Claire.
"Murphy. Murphy" he said his almost shouting. Shaun still didn't reply so Melendez tested his pupil response with a flashlight.
"His pupils are responding to stimuli normally. Is like he can't hear us. We should call Glassman he'll know what to do". He took out his phone and dialled a number. The call immediately went to voicemail and he sighed loudly.
"He didn't pick up. Jared go to his office and see if he's there". Jared left the room and went to Dr. Glassman's office. He knocked on the door and a few moments later the door opened revealing a disgruntled looking Dr. Glassman.
"This better be good" he said gesturing over his shoulder at a man and a woman sitting at his desk "this is very important".
"It's Shaun" Jared said "he was freaking out earlier and now he's sitting on the ground not responding to anything and we have no idea what's going on.
"Crap. He's having a shutdown. It happens because of sensory overload. There's meltdown or shutdown. Crap. I can't leave this meeting I'm sorry, just don't yell at him, or turn on the lights, or shine lights in his eye's and don't shake him, oh and if possible don't let him take the bus home. Got it?".
"Yeah, yeah of course".
He went back to where they had found Shaun and saw that the situation was now even worse then before. The lights were on, Melendez was repeatedly shine the flashlight in Shaun's eyes and Claire was shaking him practically yelling his name.
"Stop" Jared said as he walked in "I talked to Glassman he said Shaun is experiencing sensory overload. He said not to shine lights in his eyes, or to shake him, or yell at him and to turn of the lights". Melendez and Claire stopped what they were doing and Jared flicked off the light. "He said what's happening is called a shutdown".
"What else do we do?" Claire asked.
"Just wait it out with him I guess" Jared told her.
"Claire you stay here with him, Jared and I will finish the rounds" Melendez said seemingly relieved to know his residents wasn't about to die and he got up and walked out.
"I'll hopefully see you in the locker room" Jared said following him out.
Claire sat beside Shaun and spoke to him very quietly about what had happened earlier in her shift. He relaxed slowly, bit by bit regarding control of his body until he could take his hand's away from his ears and open his eye's. He finally stretched his legs out in front of himself and clasped his hand together and twiddled his thumbs.
"You ready to get up now?" Claire asked him quietly and he nodded. She got up and held a hand out to him but he pushed himself to his feet ignoring her hand. "Let's go to the locker room" she said and he nodded again. She opened the door and Shaun put a hand over his eyes shielding them from the light then but them over his ears and closed his eyes. Claire put a hand and n his arm and guided him to the locker room.
Shaun opened his locker and grabbed a pair of gray sweatpants, a black Star Wars t-shirt, black Nike sneakers, black sunglasses with black lenses and ear buds. He put it all in his backpack and went into one of the changing rooms. He emerged about three minutes later wear the different clothes, ear buds and backpack in hand. He put his bag on the ground and sat on the bench then plugged the ear buds into his phone putting them in his ears and turning on some music.
Claire sat beside him and they waited until Jared came into the locker room. When he arrived he looked startled to see Shaun in clothes so different from his usual, wearing sunglasses and ear buds. Shaun was rubbing go his hands together and rocking back and forward.
"Shaun?" he said but he didn't respond. Claire put a hand on his arm and he jumped violently and pulled one of the ear buds out.
"Shaun do would you a lift home?" Jared asked. Shaun thought for a moment.
"Uh... no thank you" he replied.
"Okay, Claire you ready?" he asked. Claire looked from Shaun to Jared then back to Shaun again.
"Shaun how are getting home?" she asked.
"Uh... I'm taking the bus" he said slowly.
"Shaun the bus will be... overwhelming" she said.
"I'll ask Dr Glassman to drive me home then" he said.
"If you're sure..." she said reluctantly.
"I'm sure" he said.
"Okay I'll see you tomorrow". she said.
"Bye" Jared said and they left together.
Shaun got up and walked to Dr Glassman's office. A few of the nurses recognized him as he walked past and stared at him in confusion. He knocked on he door of Glassman's office and pulled out his ear buds only to be assaulted be a thousand different sounds and the door opened a moment later. When Glassman saw him a look of confusion then realization then concern crossed his face.
"Shaun! Jared told me what happened, are you okay?"he asked talking rapidly.
"Yes, I am suffering from sensory overload and I had a shutdown but I am okay" Shaun replied.
"Alright, give me 5 minutes and I'll drive you home" he said and turned back into his office leaving the door open for Shaun who stood awkwardly just inside the door and replaced his ear bud rocking from his heels onto his toes and back again. The man and woman from before were still sitting at the desk. The looked at him and his attire critically but Shaun didn't notice. True to his word Glassman finished his meeting and him and Shaun were walking to his car 5 minutes later.
They got it the car and Glassman started the engine and began driving to Shaun's building. After 3 minutes of silence he tapped Shaun's arm and he took out one of his ear buds.
"Shaun why didn't you tell someone you were experiencing sensory overload?" he asked.
"I was fine until Jared started tapping his foot" he stated.
"Okay but why didn't you tell someone?".
"People look at me funny, they talk about me and say mean things when I'm stand beside them like I'm not there, they think I can't handle being a surgeon and that I don't belong in the hospital but I can and I do!" he replied voice rising to a shout at the end. The sudden outburst unsettled him and he ruffled his own hair.
"I know you do Shaun, those people are just prejudiced -" he caught himself before he said something he would regret then continued "but there's no shame in needing help or a break okay?".
"Okay". He put his ear bud back in his ear and they drove in silence the rest of the way. They got out of the car. They walked into the building and got into the elevator. They got off on the fourth floor and Shaun took the key to his apartment out of his backpack and unlocked the door.
"You'll be okay now right?" Glassman asked him.
"Yes. Thank you". Shaun said.
"No problem, and Shaun if you even need help, just ask someone okay?".
"Okay".
"I'll see you tomorrow" Glassman said and turned away.
"Yes" Shaun said and closed the door.
He sighed loudly basking in the silent darkness and thought to himself residency was a lot more stressful than medical school.
I just want to say before anyone comments that's not what having autism is like I have autism. I do not claim to know what others experience. This is written based on my personal experience. Please review and leave prompts. Thanks for reading!