Title: Out of Many Mouths
Summary: Kingsley is driven up the wall with the insane rumours running around Ministry of Magic's office, threatening to ruin all peace there is. He swears to put a stop to it and get things back to normal. Because there is no such thing as Drarry!
A/N: This little baby popped in my head while I was on a Writer's Block with my other story. And who can ignore Drarry when it hits you in the face? Anyway, this is my first time writing a Harry Potter and humour fic so I really hope you like it! Feel free to drop me feedback so I can improve!
"Rumours are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots."
Or in this case, the last two parts are correct.
.
For the past week, Kingsley had noticed that his employees were behaving uncharacteristically. The normally busy office full of wizards and witches bustling around and Aurors rushing in and out of the Floo was almost unseen. Instead, everyone seemed to be walking around in big groups and talking in hushed voices.
Ah, it seemed that rumours have plagued the office. Honestly. This one must have involved a celebrity of some sort if they haven't died down after a week. It was starting to disrupt work processes, for Merlin's sake!
It was a bright Friday morning when Kingsley strode through the office, his head filled with the latest case of Muggles who seemed to have "stumbled" into Diagon Alley and a huge ruckus had occurred.
Now, where was his best Auror when he needed him? As expected of Potter to disappear ever so inconveniently!
"Oi, Longbottom, have you seen Auror Potter?" he snapped at the nearest wizard.
Neville looked up from his desk in surprise. "No, sir. But I did hear him mention yesterday that he would come to the office in the afternoon."
"I see," Kingsley sighed. Inconvenient Potter.
He was about to head back to his desk when passing voices stopped him.
"Are you serious? I wouldn't ever think that they were together!"
"Yeah, that's amazingly bizarre!"
"But it's so romantic!"
Romance gossip?! His office had been plagued with rumours for more than a week, slowing down productivity over romance gossip?!
Rumours in a workplace was hardly rare, in fact, they were common. Usually though, in the Ministry of Magic, the rumours that spurred consisted of "that annoying guy with no talent still managed to pass Auror training" or "he probably bribed the higher-ups to get a promotion". And these rumours hardly last 5 days.
But romance gossip?
Looking around now, Kingsley realized that everyone in the office were gathering around in groups, whispering conspiratorially and exchanging a mix of horrified and excited looks. No one was doing any work. Even the Aurors who were supposed to be starting their daily morning meeting were huddled in the corner, prattling on and on by themselves almost exhilaratingly.
Just what in the world is going on?
He turned back to Neville Longbottom who was frowning disapprovingly at the others.
He probably knows what's going on, Kingsley thought. However, Neville's unwavering loyalty to his friends was well-known. On the other hand, Seamus Finnigan was known to sing like a bird under the right kind of pressure.
Whirling around and spotting the man, Kingsley bellowed, "Finnigan! My office in 10 minutes!" After which he stalked to his work desk, ignoring the sniggers of Seamus' colleagues.
Within 5 minutes, Seamus knocked on his door and entered, looking extremely flustered and nervous.
"Y-you called, sir?"
"Yes, Finnigan. I did." Kingsley stood up, clearly aware of the charisma and power his presence held, and strode towards the cowering man.
"Tell me, Finnigan, I noticed that everyone in the office has been very worked up over something. Do you happen to know what it is?" he said solemnly, circling the smaller man.
Seamus blinked. "Y-you mean, you haven't heard of the rumours?"
"What rumours do you speak of? I've heard way too many and have no idea which you're talking about."
Seamus looked highly uncomfortable now. "Well, everyone has been saying… Well, I heard directly from Dean who saw it himself… Umm…"
"Out with it!" Kingsley snapped.
"They're saying that Harry and Malfoy are shagging!"
… What?
Whatever romance gossip Kingsley had in mind did not beat this for certain.
"Dean told me that he saw Malfoy the other day when he was in The Three Broomsticks. Malfoy was speaking with some man. Apparently, Dean said he heard Malfoy say that he wanted the biggest room with the best amenities and the view of the sunset. He was saying that he always had great nights with Harry but he wanted something special for once."
"So? Now the whole office thinks that my best Auror unit are a couple?"
Seamus had the decency to blush. "Well, everyone has their own assumptions. The most popular one is that they've been friends with benefits for a while and Malfoy wants to take it to a serious level."
"Are you telling me that my entire office has been malfunctioning because everyone is besotted about a pair of Aurors' love lives?"
"Well… The women think they're cute together and that Drarry is sure to last –"
"Drarry?!"
"That's the fan name for them in the office. You see, if you put Draco and Harry together, you get – "
"I get it! But even the men are involved in this stupid gossip?!"
"Some of the men think it's sweet but some thinks it's gross and weird. But I think Harry and Malfoy deserve to be happy though, and –"
Kingsley sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
After the war, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy had applied to work as Aurors for the Ministry along with some other members of the DA. Initially, due to their bad history, the two were constantly bickering and even broke into fights which caused mayhem in the Ministry. Kingsley had put them together in a team of two in the hopes that they would learn to grow tolerant of one another and work together. The plan was seen as crazy by others but it worked. Eventually, the two became close friends and the best unit in the Auror division. They still argued once in a while but good naturedly and with humour.
Now they're a couple?
Kingsley wasn't stupid. He knew that rumours were just that. Rumours. But now, these gossips were interfering with the work life in the Ministry and as the Minister, he simply could not allow it to continue!
Because there is no such thing as Drarry!
"Hey Kingsley! You wanted to see us?"
Harry Potter rushed into his office, glasses askew. The boy had grown into a handsome man with a strong built and shaggy hair.
"Harry, really, there's no need to rush. Kingsley is still here," Malfoy sighed, walking in after his partner.
The Malfoy heir too had become quite like his father in his looks, with shoulder length blonde hair and a snake staff in hand. He was much taller than Harry now, with a muscular built and piercing eyes.
"Yes, you two. Please have a seat."
The pair looked at each other before doing so. Usually Kingsley would not invite them to sit down unless they were in for a long and serious conversation.
"Earlier today, I decided to confront one of my employees regarding the rumours going around the office," he began. He had decided to go straight to the point as Malfoy often got impatient with useless details.
"Rumours?" Harry echoed.
"Yes. The office has been in chaos for the past week and no one seems to be able to focus on getting their work done as they're all too busy gossiping around like they haven't anything else to do."
"Just ignore it, they'll be tired of it soon enough," Malfoy drawled.
"I would have. However, it involves the two of you."
"Us?"
Kingsley faced the two of them and sighed. "I would like you to be honest with me. Are you having sex with one another?"
….
"What?" Malfoy croaked. Harry seemed to stare blankly at Kingsley, as though still processing his words.
"Are the two of you 'friends with benefits'?"
"Huh?" Harry blinked.
"Are you sexually-"
"Stop rephrasing your words! We get it! But why are you asking us this?!" Malfoy growled.
Kingsley shifted uncomfortably. "So you're not 'friends with benefits'?"
"No! And where did you get that idea?"
He sighed in relief. "Well, the whole office seems to have that idea – Harry, are you okay?" Kingsley looked at the man in concern.
Harry Potter sat open-mouthed in his chair, still looking completely lost.
"Great, he's gone," Malfoy sighed, rolling his eyes at his friend. "Now tell me the name of the idiot who spread that ridiculous rumour so I can hex him!"
"Now, now, Malfoy. That's confidential. However, I would like for you to help me put out those rumours so my people can function normally again," Kingsley said soothingly.
"And how do you expect us to do that? People are going to talk whether you like it or not."
"Well, you could simply declare your real status to the whole office and that should rid of the whole 'friends with benefits' farce."
"I don't mind… But Harry on the other hand," Malfoy sighed and gently shook his partner's shoulder.
The bespectacled man blinked rapidly and looked at the blonde in confusion. "Draco, I thought I heard Kingsley say something really bizarre, I think I need my ears checked."
"Harry –"
"I mean, Kingsley just said 'sex'! He would never say 'sex'!"
Kingsley's eyebrow twitched.
"Harry, calm down –"
"He even said 'sexually'! Kingsley said 'sexually'! The –"
"Harry! He's right here!"
The brunette jerked out of his horror and looked at the Minister sheepishly. "Oops, I didn't mean that. I just –"
"I've heard enough, Potter. Just go and clean up the mess. I expect that work should return to normal by tomorrow!" Kingsley snapped.
The two Aurors head out, arguing in whispers.
"Why did you say all of that?"
"But it was disgusting! I was so horrified! I didn't think I'd ever hear the word 'sex' come out of Kingsley's mouth! Now I need to go wash my ears!"
The Minister of Magic groaned and slapped his forehead.
The next day, Kingsley sighed before heading into the Ministry.
Before stopping dead at the entrance of the office.
Everyone was nearly shouting at each other, running around with wild eyes and words like "did you hear" and "oh my god, I can't believe it" were being thrown around. They all looked excited and there were even women jumping around, squealing at the top of their lungs. It was as though someone had organized an impromptu celebration party in his own office and no one had informed him.
After an entire week of no productivity, work piling on his desk and cases going unsolved, the Minister of Magic has finally had enough.
"JUST WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" he bellowed furiously.
Everyone froze and turned to the entrance in horror. The men turned pale and the women began shaking in fear. Or rather, that was how he had hoped they would react to his outburst.
Instead, everyone froze and turned to the entrance to see who had interrupted their gleeful party. When they saw who it was, the men frowned and the women still had bright grins on their faces that they could not seem to wipe off. It was starting to look like the circus. Literally.
Before Kingsley could say anymore, voices came from behind him and his best Auror unit came striding through the doors and past him, before they, too, stopped in surprise at the sight.
"Well. And I thought the Ministry could not get any weirder," Malfoy said, raising his eyebrows.
"What's going on?" Harry asked no one in particular, looking around.
At their words, everyone seemed to come back to life and came running towards them, surrounding the Aurors and pushing Kingsley back. They were yelling and shouting at the top of their lungs and it seemed that everyone had finally gone mad. The women continued squealing once more with dolphin lungs and the men were roaring exhilaratingly.
As KIngley fought his way out of the crowd, he caught bits and pieces of what everyone seemed to be saying.
"CONGRATS, MAN –"
"Dude, why didn't you guys tell us –"
"We had no idea!"
"You guys are so cute to –"
"I can't believe you guys are married!"
At that last bit, Kingsley collapsed onto the ground and stared up in horror at the crowd going crazy in front of him.
Harry Potter was bashfully grinning as the women clustered around him and Draco Malfoy had his signature smirk on his face as the men slapped his back and shook his hands.
Married?!
Kingsley came to his senses when Neville Longbottom griped his arm and attempted to help him up. "Sir, are you alright?"
The man groaned and clutched to his lifeline. "Longbottom," he gasped. "It is true? Are they really…?"
The black haired Auror looked at him sympathetically as the crowd burst out in exhilarated squeals and yells when Draco Malfoy swooped down and grabbed him by the waist before devouring his Harry's lips, claiming him publicly.
"Yes, sir. It's true."
…
"I want to retire. Now."
Epilogue
.
Draco Malfoy sighed and leaned back in his chair. His office was far too big for one person to be working alone. Well, I suppose that's one of the perks of being the Minister of Magic, he mused.
"Knock knock," called his favourite voice in the world.
A smirk found its way on Draco's face as his secretary of 5 years walked in, carrying a stack of documents before setting them on the edge of his desk and bending over and pecking his lips.
"You certainly look lonely," he teased.
"That was hardly a kiss, Potter," Draco scoffed. "Come here, you little minx."
Harry Potter walked slowly and deliberately around the big desk towards him and Draco growled before grabbing him and yanking him roughly onto his lap to demonstrate a 'real kiss'.
Shortly after the 'celebrations' in the office, the collapse of Kingsley and the confession of their marriage, Harry and Draco revealed to Kingsley their intentions to resign from their dangerous jobs as Teddy's guardian had passed away and the couple were now in custody of the orphan boy and wanted to care for him. Being Aurors meant long hours, unpredictable journeys and that was certainly not the option.
Kingsley agreed to let them resign in the promise that Draco would take over his position once their family was settled. He felt that he was too old to be continuing and Draco was well more than suitable for the job. Though being Minister was a busy job, he could certainly control his working hours.
A year after the scandalous news of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter's marriage broke out in the office, the Minister of Magic retired and handed over his position to his mentee, the ever-reliant ex-Auror Draco Malfoy, as promised. His spouse remained unemployed to stay at home and care for their children.
Yes, children.
Teddy was four years old when they took him in, five when he asked them for a sibling, and six when his baby brother, Scorpius, came into the world. Scorpius had inherited blonde hair from Draco and Lily's green eyes from Harry. Teddy loved his baby brother and transformed to look like him.
The Daily Prophet, The Quibbler and gossip magazines could not publish enough articles on their family and photos of the adorable siblings together. In fact, Harry and Draco's love story had inspired numerous songs, poems, plays and books to date.
And just what was that amazing love story that had turned the office of the Ministry of Magic upside-down that day?
"Well, you could simply declare your real status to the whole office and that should rid of the whole 'friends with benefits' farce."
Draco and Harry did just that.
Kingsley left the office after lunch for an offsite meeting with important clients when Draco called for attention.
"Everyone, Harry and I have something to say," he announced pompously. Harry rolled his eyes.
When everyone present had gathered around them, Draco continued, "It has come to our attention that some of you have been spreading some rumours about us."
People started looking around at each other, the floor and the ceiling. Some looked guilty and others feigned ignorance.
"I assure you, gossips get you nowhere. It was very disappointing to hear that the very people I work with have been talking behind my back and smearing dirt on mine and Harry's names. I truly thought I knew all of you better than that."
Dean shifted uncomfortably and Neville had an 'I told you so" expression on his face.
"And I've called all of you here today because I'd like nothing better than to get rid of these rumours and disgusting gossips, and set the truth straight!"
The men seemed to get rigid and the women's eyes became hopeful. Harry's lips twitched at the word 'straight'.
"Harry and I are not 'friends with benefits' whatsoever and anything you say will not change that! Harry is an important partner of mine and it is a disgrace to hear that our relationship has been seen as so! I respect Harry and I will not tolerate such crude language applied to our relationship."
Most of them looked ashamed by now.
Draco seemed to have had his fun; he turned to Harry and tilted his head, beckoning him to come forward.
"However, we would like to say that though we have reasons for hiding this, we do not want any more misunderstandings," Harry shrugged.
"So I am delighted to say that Harry and I are happily married and have been for nearly a year. We're sorry for disappointing you," Draco smirked. Taking his spouse's hand, they disapparated before anyone could react.
Naturally, even til the next day, everyone was still in chaos over the news. Poor Kingsley had no chance in diminishing these gossips. Especially not when the Daily Prophet released afternoon papers solely containing the announcement of their Hero's marriage to his old-school enemy slash Auror partner, the love story of Drarry, their pasts, how they met and how they fell in love.
The Quibbler published a special edition on Drarry's marriage and their private ceremony that included the guest list, food served, location as well as the Oath each guest took that swore them to secrecy until the couple revealed the truth themselves. Needless to say, Neville was bombarded by Dean and Seamus at the office for not saying anything when he had attended Drarry's wedding. "I was sworn to secrecy!"
Speaking of Dean, the source of Drarry scandals and gossips, the man had been visiting The Three Broomsticks when he overhead the conversation that sparked his exaggerated rumours. However, Draco was simply discussing with the owner of a hotel in Milan to book a room for their one year anniversary.
11 years after Scorpius was born, the famous Hogwarts letter arrived. There was much excitement (from Scorpius and Teddy, who was in his final year), tears (from Harry) and worried cautions (from Draco) during the departure at Platform 9 ¾. Soon after, Draco appointed his spouse back into the workforce as his secretary when it became clear that Harry could not bear to stay at home alone without his boys.
Shortly after, the couple received letters from their beloved sons. The next day, the entire wizarding world read on The Daily Prophet how the young Scorpius had followed his father's footsteps and was sorted into Slytherin, unlike his older brother who had, like his biological parents, been in Gryffindor. Nevertheless, Teddy could not stop singing his praises for his baby brother.
Now, in the Minister of Magic's office, Harry gently but firmly pushed his husband away.
"Not here," he reproached and Draco sighed, letting him go.
"You're such a tease."
Harry grinned but simply handed him a thick stack of bounded paper. "Have you seen today's issue of the Prophet? It's a pretty good read."
Draco raised his eyebrows. "Well, that's a surprise, you don't usually read the Prophet."
"Hermione called to tell me that it was a very good issue with loads of things I can learn from so I thought it was worth a try."
"Oh really?" The blonde rolled his eyes and sipped his coffee before unfolding the paper.
After which, black coffee sprayed all over the paper and his desk and spurted even from his nose while he choked.
Harry burst out laughing and spelled the area clean but Draco was too busy staring in horror.
"Harry?" he croaked. His hands shook as he clutched The Daily Prophet in his hands.
"Well… We were bound to deal with this sooner or later."
The front page of the Daily Prophet announced a blaring new article titled, "The Drarry Legacy Continues: A New Love Blossoms". Beneath it was a picture of fifth-year Scorpius in the arms of seventh-year Ravenclaw, Albus, kissing his older partner soundly on the cheek as Albus affectionately pecked their entwined hands.
And beneath that, "Polls ongoing for fan name for the new happy couple!"
A/N
A/N: Kingsley did not know of their private marriage, though it was registered because he had way more on his plate than looking at who registers. And having Ron working in that particular department helps keep the secret! Teddy is straight, Hermione and Ron are married, and I will leave Scorpius' birth to your imaginations!
P/S: Oh, and Albus Longbottom is Neville's third-born son!
Review!