My Little Punisherony in the American Dream. Chapter 1- I'm a horse now?! Chapter 2- The Quest Starts!? Chapter 3- VelociAllen is his name While I am asleep, I imagine I am in my old punisher body inside of my punisher plane, you know, because I own one. ((I'm not sure what it looks like. It should be invisible. That would be totes cool!1#WWrox!1)) I look over into the copilot seat and see a velociraptor and am immediately scared. The velociraptor leans into me and whispers "Allen." And then Freddie Kraugar puts his gross claw hand on my shoulder and he exclaims, "Feelin' good, bitch?" I try to act tough because that is what punisher does, and not scream. I think to myself, "Thank god I did not eat asparagus earlier because then the piss on my leg would smell bad and he would smell it. ((But not really because this is a dream. The punisher would not do that. He is the best DC character.)) Chapter 4- Pie in the Sky Chapter 5- Gettin' Down Handicap Style Chapter 6- Luscious Sher-locks Chapter 7- Death of the Red Man Chapter 8- in God's Country Chapter 9- Holy Truth Batman! Chapter 10- THE FINAL CHAPTER ?
I was sitting, it's
"Securing your fate." Said Rainbow Dash
"What?" I said.
Rainbow dash bent down forward and stuck its horn at me and shot out a rainbowee beam of light like the Pink Floyd album Dark Side of the Moon. ((See flamerz? I have a culture too!))
The beam hits me, and I am immediately knocked unconscious. When I wake up, I notice my punisher hands have been turned into punisher hooves. I look into a puddle, because it has rained the previous night and see my long flowing not so punisher mane. And then I exclaim, "Holy shit, Rainbow Dash turned the punisher into a pony!"
And then I say, "someone has gotta be punished for this."
I make my way back to my apartment. I barely open my door with my punisher hoof hands that are hooves so I feel like the door is wronging me, so I punish it and kick it in with my back punisher hooves. And the. I enter inside of my apartment. I look around and notice that there is a shadowy figure messing around with my list of people I punish because I am the punisher. And then I exclaim, "Nicholas cage, what are you doing here?"' He answers, I was in the diner that day when you ran out to find rainbow dash and as soon as I saw Rainbow Dash I knew he would turn you into a horse. So I followed you. So now the only way you can get turned back is to find God.
I didn't believe what he was saying so I said, "How do you know this?" And he just like said, "Because I am Icarus Cage, and that is what I do."
I gasped.
"I gotta wrap my head around this. I'm feeling kind of hungry." I said.
Nicky said, "I know. Here are some sugar cubes."
I eat the sugar cubes out of his hand. I immediately realise that they are drugged and I fall asleep.
Freddie Kraugar turns my pilot seat around and says, " payout got two minutes until this plane hits the ground. Bitch."
I look over to VelociAllen and he says, "Allen." And then I look deep into Freddie Kraugar's green slimy eyes and he says, "dude, you're on Punk'd!"
Ashton Kutcher comes in and like starts patting everyone on the back and giving them water bottles. VelociAllen has trouble holding them because of his VelociAllen hands. And then then three of us laugh at VelociAllen until I notice I look at my hoof hands and I awake from my dream. And then I notice noticingly that I am not that I am not in my punisher body. I also notice when I look over that VelociAllen is sleeping next to be and whispers, "Allen." Then I think could have possibly cum out of my dream because of Freddie Croger's, I guess.
I was hungry because when you sleep you get hungry so I wanted pie. I went to my local pie shop with VelociAllen and Nicholas Cage. I really like pie like Dean Winchester from Supernatural. On the way there I leaned over to Nick cage and I asked why he drugged me and he said, "I had to." And I said, "OK." ((Get it? Because they say that in TFIOS.)) So I walk into the pie shop and am sad because Feddie Kroger is not with us because he died in the plane crash with Ashton Kutcher. So I go to the counter to get my favourite pie Apple banana cream pumpernickel. I really fucking like that pie. Then I look at the nametag and notice it says Naruto. I look up and be like, "Naruto, none fuck why are you being Here?" He doesn't answer me and I look in the back and see Speedy Gonzales from Loony Toons. And then Naruto says, "I am here for you. Believe it." And I say, "why?" In an questions voice. And they say,
" because you are on a quest for God, we can't let you do that."
VelociAllen strolls up and says, "Allen Allen, Allen Allen allen." I say, "I don't know. He is not giving me my pie order, he knows about my quest for God."
Whenever I stare into his deep green Eyes I can always understand what he is saying.
VelociAllen exclaimed, "Allen." Which meant, "What is taking so long."
"I am having a conversation with Punisher Pony, please leave." Said Naruto. Then Naruto and Speedy jumped over the counter and said, "You motherfuckers are under arrest. We are secrets agents of Hydra!" VelociAllen exclaims, "Allen." Which means, "Aw shit."
Nicholas Cage then says, "You're gunna have go through me first." Ren they run away between their tails between their legs if they had them.
Nichlaus Cage then says, " Ingot us a ride to find God." He steps aside to show a red haired woman wearing a red dress with thunderstorms all over it. It's... It's... MS. FRIZZLE! She says, "You can use my bus to go anywhere! Fighting God will be a piece of pie." So we get on the bus as she tells us, "Seat belts everyone." ((You know, her catch phrase.)) I turn to Nicholas cage and say, "how are we gunna find God? Where is He?" He says, "Where else? He's up, right? We are heading north."
I thought to myself he is right. That is why he is leading us.
VelociAllen and I are getting a bit tired from the flight so we decide to take a pit stop at a rest stop. We go into the rest stop. I see his Long tail behind him and think, "Aw man I can't wait to tap that." VelociAllen then looks back at me and lowers his gaze on me and whispers sensually, "Allen." He is beckoning me. We both go into the male restroom because we don't want to break any laws. ((I went into a girls one time and there were no tornados.)) We rush into the handicapped stall, I need to have him right now. As soon as we got intisde, I pull out my pony dick. And VelociAllen looks at me and in a curious voice says, "Allen." I look deep into his VelociAllen eyes and say... "Allem." He then wraps his veloci lips around my 10 inch raging horse cock. ((If the punisher were to be a horse, his dick would actually be a foot long. Because he is the punisher.)) I decided to put on our favorite song All Star by Smash Mouth. VelociAllen loves this song and his cock excretes a tasty love juice as he exclaims, "Allen." In the midst of ecstasy, I hear someone enter the bathroom. They creeped towards our stall. I whispered to VelociAllen to stop, but he whispers back, "Allen." And rages on. He cums ((get it?)) to our stall, opens it, and in a Scottish accent, he says, "Ah my favorite song, seems like I have to join you boys now. Shrek slowly drapes down my face in a whimsical manner. I welcome his embrace. He shoves his love organ right into pony anal cavity. I decide that is it enough of VelociAllen sucking on my shween so I decide to take my love organ up VelociAllen's VelociAnus. Now we're chain linked-ass-fucking to All Star by Smash Mouth on repeat while Shrek diddles my hiddle and pets my mane. After a while, we all explode into each other and for the first time, I don't feel like punishing someone.
After our interstaller ((get it? Kuz bathroom stall?)) gangbang, we clean ourselves up. I still have some of Shrek's onion cum in my fur. It makes me smell like onions. Then we hear a voice coming from the next stall.
"I know you are on a quest for God." The voice is suave.
We go into the other stall and Sherlock is shitting there.
"How did you know?" I ask.
"Because I could see it on your jacket." Sherlock homes said.
"Oh yeah! You are a detective! You are very sleuthy."
"Yes, I am." Sherlock said. He knew everything about us because of his skills as a detective.
"What else do you know about us?" Nicholas Cage said.
"Well I know you all had hot sex without me in the next stall." He said
"HOW KNOW?!" Said Shrek in a Scottish accent
"It does not take a kindergarten class to figure out. You were all loud and I heard it all." He said
He was right.
"Now if you will excuse me, I have to pass a kidney stone." Said Sherlock.
We all continued our quest out of the bathroom we saw Time cop, Samurai cop, and Robocop who said, "We are all robots sent by Hydra."
I gasped.
I thought I was gunna have to lay my punisher paws on them, but then I realized my paws are hooves and are utterly useless.
VelociAllen immediately rushes forward and bites Robocop because he is a velociraptor. Nicholas cage gives a hard stare at Samurai cop. Samurai cop then commits suicide like Japanese people do. VelociAllen is about to go for time cop but time cop says, "I know about your past."
Velocity Alien then seizes.
I gallop over ((because horse)), "What is he talking about?"
VelociAllen says, "Allen."
Ms. Frizzle and the bus left an hour ago.
And then I say, "No you can't be Sirius, you were rapped? By Rudolph the red noses rain deer!?"
VelociAllen says, "Allen."
"The eight rainier jumped in and Santa claws filmed!?" I shouted loudly
That's why his VelociAnus was so lose.
Then VelociAllen says, "Allen Allen, Allen Allen Allen, Allen Allen Allen."
One Allen for each reindeer. Oh god.
"Allen." He exclaimed.
"What?! You were born into a past dystopian future where there were 13 districts and all the children were picked to fight in an arena for their lives?! And what is this nonsense about cat nip?"
And then VelociAllen ripped off time cop's head.
He shouted, "Allen." That was his name.
I instantly fell in love with him. Not butt love. But heart love.
I decided it was finally time for some punish to be delivered, so I delivered by trampling time cop in the face to death repeatedly until his brains splattered all over the rest stop floor. A girl screamed but I didn't care, I kept going.
Waluigi dropped us off at God's house. We said, "Thanks, Waluigi, we knew we could count on you!"
He yelled, "Waluigi!"
I then thought to myself, Waluigi was pretty cute, but not as cute as VelociAllen. VelociAllen's VelociShween is something that cannot be compared to Waluigi's small dild. We turn around and look at the door, loomingNinthink, "am I gunna have roundish that door?" But then I think it is too big for my hooves. Kuz I'm a horse. But out of nowhere, Kratos comes in and kncocks it down with his vengeful fists of fury. Kratos then turns back and says, "Vengeance will be mi e."
Nicholas cage exhales and says, "Kratos not again."
Kratos exclaims, "Yes! Again! I kill gods. I do that shizz."
VelociAllen then exclaims, "Allen." But questioningly.
I then say, "no VelociAllen, we. Ant let this jerk face come along with us, he likes killing gods." Kratos says, "ever since my father son mother child goldfish died, I had to slay this God."
VelociAllen then exclaims, "Allen, Allen Allen Allen."
Those wise words swoon me, I say, "no need to continue VelociAllen."
We continue our quest onward into God'/ dungeon. I then start talking about my favourite pop star, Brittany Spears! Nicholas cage says his favourite pops is B2K. ((You guys remember that? I do.)) then Kratos exclaims, "please, the best pop star in the world is Jennifer Lopez."
VelociAllen then exclaims, "Allen." Kratos then pulls out his blades and says, "No way, Jennifer Lopez is the best in the world." And then CelociAllen jumps on Kratos. Kratos and VelociAllen then ensue in a mighty brawl. VelociAllen tears apart Kratos because he is VelociAllen and I love him. ((Kratos sucks donkey dick. Omg have u guys heard the new JLo single. Am I right?!)) Kratos then bleeds out on the floor, knowing full well that his brother sister man wife will never be avenged. As we enter in the dorm of the sacred God of America, we see someone sitting a. Chair far off into the room. We then thought OMFG BATMAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" And Batman says, "I'm god." We're like, " Wuuuuih?,?, HOW YOU?!"
And he just says, "I am." Nicholas cage pulls out his gun and then shoots Batman God, BatmanGod dodges the bullet and then exclaims, "Bullets can't hurt me, I'm Batman."
VelociAllen then pulls out his gun and starts shooting Batman. I can see the worried face of Batman through his mask because of the eye squint. ((See what I mean? Can tell he means flipping business.)) The combined bullets of VelociAllen and Nicholas cock were able to hit Batman in his face mask because he has a hole in it. It is silly but whatever. Batman falls, we all draw close to Batman, and we want to see who Batman is under his mask.
As me as me the punisher and VelociAllen and Nicholaun Cage draw close to Batmans what seems to be lifeless body, Barrack Obama comes in through the door telling us, "WHAT ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DOING?" We turn to look at Obama.
"We are about to unmask Batman God!" I say.
"Look dudes, I may not be the Pres anymore, but I am still the protector of this country. And I have to say, you dingledicks can't do that." Said Obama
."Yes we can." Nicky said.
"Yes, we can." I said.
Then Opbama was all like, "Really guys? Come ooooon."
I then reached for Batman God but then I couldn't because I realised I couldn't because I have hoof hands not hands, because I am horse."
Nicholas cage then took off gods mask as Obama screamed, "NOOOOO!1"
But it was too late.
Obama says, "You done goofed." We are all slack jaws by what we have seen. We cannot believe what we are seeing before our own eyes. Just the sheer though of this being this person is incredible!
It's...
It's...
It's...
I cannot believe my eyes,
It's...
It's...
It's...!
PLANK From ED ED AND EDDY.
And we all say together, "Plank from ed ed and eddy?"
But Nicky says, "No! That's not him"
Nichols cage then takes the Babe Ruth candy snare that he has all along out of his pocket. Plank did what plank did, which was nothing. But then he started sweating. He then grabbed the candy bar and started eating it. And Nicholas cage said, "That is because plank isn't plank at all. He's sloth from the Goonies!"
Plank then took off his mask then in a retard voice said, "Yeaaaaaah that's me."
VelociAllen proceeded to say, "Allen."
Then Nicholas says, "That's not sloth from the Goonies at all! I know this, because... I AM THE TRUE BATMANS!1"
Everything is starting to make sense to me now. Barrock Obama says, "No, you're getting to the truth." I hen decide to shove my rock of a Hoove into his mouth to shut him up. The 58th pres of the United America is now out cold. ((That's rut, right Steven?)) Batman is starting to draw near to Sloth who actually isn't Sloth. But then, out of nowhere, Sly Cooper jumps in with Naruto and Speedy who are agents of Hyrdra!
They pull out their laser guns and then says, "FREEEEEEEEEZE motherfuckers!"
I decided because I am horse I will not let it stop me because it is punishering time because.. I am the Punisher!i decide to pull out my punisher pistols with my hands and shoot all of them in the face. Rainbow Dash runs in and says, "the only thing that kept you from turning back is yourself!" He gave a dramatic look into camera. I shed a single tear and say, "K."
VelociAllen immediately runs over to me wondering if our relationship is going to be different because I am a man now. It isn't. I take VelociAllen into my hands, his scaly skin kind of hurts. But in a way, I like it. It feels good. Nicholas Cage Who is now Batman says, "Enough of that you sons of bitches." We walk up to Sloth who is still scarfing down that Babe Ruth's and then ask him to reveal his true self. Sloth reluctantly says, "Alrighty then." Sloth takes off his Sloth face and under it is something that no one can ever find out in America ever.
The Illumideclationofindependanceati. Aka, the Declaration of Independence/ Illuminati.
In a huge voice, it exclaims, "I am the true God."
Batman then throws his BatmanGod at it, crumpling the paper forever!
Nicholas Man then exclaims, "No one is the God of me. I am the goddamn Batman!"
THAT WAS HIS TRUE OBJCTIVE ALL ALONG!,!,
Me and VelociAllen decide it is time for us to punish him, but this time, together. We are a couple now. We both exclaim, "PUSNISHER SMASH!" And then Batman is smashed like the hulk does sometimes.
My Little Punisherony in The American Dream
By: thewonderboysgirl
Imagine your favourite characters on a journey to fix one's inner self. Imagine them working in unison to complete a great task. Imagine tears falling from your eyes as you read. Well stop imagining and read this story.
Rated: Fiction M - English - Adventure/Romance - Words: 3,326 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/13/2015 - id: 11110670
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